Moments In Time - What Lies Between
by AliyahNCIS
Summary: Summer 2011. Ziva without Tony.
1. Part 1 - May 2011

_A/N: Hello all! Welcome back to Moments In Time and the story of what happens during the summer after S8 -_ _ **What Lies Between**_ _. I hope it's worth the wait. And hang on, it's going to be a bumpy ride. ~Aliyah_

 **Sunday May 15**

Tony had neglected to shut his phone off again after contacting Mark the previous night but never thought he'd have cause to regret it so soon. The little piece of technology rang loudly, disturbing the early Sunday morning peace of the DiNozzo household. His personalized ringtone jerked Tony out of sleep and he rushed to silence it before the sound woke Ziva, answering with a hushed, "DiNozzo." He hadn't checked the call display but banked on it being work since that was almost always the case.

"Agent DiNozzo," an unamused voice answered. "I don't take kindly to having my calls ignored."

Stifling a sigh, Tony carefully slid out from under the covers and headed towards the office. "I gave you my answer already Sir. Repeated requests are not going to change how I feel."

"Then let me put it this way," Clay Jarvis said bluntly. "It's not a request. It's an order. If you choose not to comply, which I have a feeling might happen, I'll post you as a permanent Agent Afloat. Keep resisting and you won't see dry land again until you retire."

The agent's stomach rolled. They were going to use another order to send him away from his wife? Not happening. He went along with it the first time, he sure as heck wasn't going as easily this time. The weight of the decision he'd promised to make hung heavily on his heart. He loved his job, but he loved Ziva more. Tony took a deep breath. "Then I-"

"And before you get some naive idea in your head about threatening to resign from NCIS, let me assure you that upon receipt of such papers this office will be forced to blacklist you from every police force from here to the West Coast. When I'm done with you Agent DiNozzo, you won't even be able to work at Starbucks."

"So much for my fall-back plan," he shot back wryly, the sarcasm so ingrained he barely noticed while he grappled with the all too obvious reality that he was about to be forced into something he did not want to do. Tony hated not having a choice but if the SecNav was serious, and clearly he was, he couldn't risk not having a way to support his wife, not being able to provide stability for their lives, especially if they were trying for a baby. _This messes everything up_ , the agent thought grimly. The whole situation felt so hopeless and he couldn't see a way out.

"Then I take it you're willing to listen to reason?"

"Do I have a choice?" he spit out.

"We all have a choice Agent DiNozzo. I trust you will make the intelligent one. Be at NCIS and waiting outside the director's office at 0900. I'll brief Leon before you're called in."

The receiver clicked and Tony was left with a barely repressible urge to throw his phone at the wall. But he didn't. Instead he bowed his head and fought for control of the rage that wanted to spill forth and all he wanted was his wife. Leaving the cell on his desk, he crept back into bed and curled himself carefully around Ziva's sleeping form. She stirred slightly when he returned and tilted her head back. "Who was that?"

He sighed heavily and pressed his lips to her neck. "I've got to go into work for a little while. I won't be gone long."

"Mmm." Ziva still wasn't capable of too much deep thought with the lingering migraine from yesterday, that was now just a bad headache, and still feeling sick. For that Tony was grateful. He wasn't up to answering a lot of questions at the moment.

"Go back to sleep."

She nodded and closed her eyes again. He buried his face in her hair and breathed in his favourite scent in the world, well aware that he was about to be torn again from everything that made his life good.

 **NCIS**

After sitting down at the table and trading a little banter back and forth, Vance smiled at his friend. "So what can I do for you? What's our first order of business?"

"First, promise to watch my back as long as it's your sworn duty as NCIS director," Jarvis began.

Leon chuckled. "Easy enough, what else?"

"Special Agent Anthony DiNozzo. I've already been in touch with him. Mind if I bring him in?"

Vance's brow furrowed. "You've spoken to Agent DiNozzo?"

"Twice," Clay confirmed. "May I?"

The director nodded and Tony walked in. Leon didn't miss how incredibly unpleased his agent looked and began to have his first misgivings.

Jarvis glanced at Tony. "Agent DiNozzo, sit down."

"Sir," Tony ground out. "Director."

"Director Vance I'm authorizing Agent DiNozzo access to sensitive compartmented information commensurate with the Black Program. None of your other team members need to know. Is that clear?"

Vance observed Tony and the impassive expression he was struggling to maintain. "Actually Clay, I'm a little concerned." Secret agendas had gotten his people in a lot of trouble over the years.

"Secretary Jarvis, when we're talking shop," the other man corrected, moving right over his friend's objection. "An agent somewhere in your organization is selling top-secret information and they need to be dealt with appropriately."

Leon tried again. "Mr. Secretary, I'd like to discuss this first."

Clay gave him a peeved look. "There's nothing else to talk about. If you're uncomfortable with this Agent DiNozzo and I can do it without you."

Figuring it would be better to be in the loop than out of it, Vance reluctantly gave the go ahead.

Jarvis slid a folder towards Tony. "Take a look. That's who you're handling. Do whatever it takes."

The senior field agent's face remained indecipherable as he studied the photo inside and closed the folder again.

"Any questions?" SecNav asked.

 _None that won't get me fired_ , he thought, shaking his head slightly.

"Good." Clay took a thick envelope from his jacket pocket and handed it to the agent. "This should cover your initial travel costs and accommodations. I want you to get started immediately. You'll need a place to work that isn't connected with your apartment. Everything is to be done under the radar. We don't want anyone tracking you to get to the target. Understood?" Tony nodded in lieu of speaking. "Good. Then you're dismissed. Thank you for your time Agent DiNozzo."

Tony left without a backwards glance and Vance folded his hands. "Care to fill me in now Mr. Secretary?"

 **NCIS**

After falling asleep sitting up on the couch for a couple hours, Celeste woke somewhere past midnight and managed to shift Gibbs' head off her lap and onto a pillow so she could make her way to her own bed - the air mattress she'd been sleeping on in the empty room across the hall from Kelly's. She paused at the doorway and peered inside the little girl's room. Not one thing had changed since she'd been married to Gibbs eighteen years ago and she was willing to bet, not since the occupant of the room had last slept there almost twenty years past. Celeste remembered the only time she'd ever dared venture inside during their brief marriage - Gibbs threw a fit and declared the space off limits. It made her sad to see his daughter's room still the same, to know he was still dwelling in pieces of the past because nothing yet about the present had been compelling enough to break those ties.

Celeste spent a few fitful hours on the blow up bed and was up again before Gibbs made it to consciousness. She was in the kitchen when he woke and he didn't even move right away, just lay on the couch and enjoyed how she looked in his house, like she belonged there. Finding in his ex-wife a reason to smile when he would otherwise have none, Gibbs made his way over and leaned against the counter rather than slide his arms around her as he would've preferred. "Mornin'."

She smiled. "Good morning Jethro. Coffee's ready if you want some."

He kissed her cheek and reached for a mug. "Thanks."

"French toast will be done in a couple minutes. Can you do the bacon?"

A couple sips of strong black coffee loosened his tongue. "Yup. Crispy?"

She gazed at him fondly. "Always."

They sat down at the table with their plates soon after and Celeste leaned back in her chair. "What are your plans for the day?"

He finished half of the first piece of toast before answering with a question. "What time's your flight?"

"Later this afternoon."

"Think I'll just hang around here." _With you_ , he added silently.

She held her mug in both hands. "Leyla and Amira?"

Gibbs shrugged. "Guess I'll let 'em settle for one day without me hovering. They need to get their own routine set."

"They're going to be good for you," Celeste observed.

"Kinda want to check on Ziva, but if Tony's smothering her with his concern she doesn't need any more."

"I guess Rule 12 doesn't apply when his partner's hurt?" she pointed out softly.

Gibbs sighed. "Anybody would think they're paying you to be their advocate."

Her eyes sparkled. "Now there's a thought. You think I could change by the hour?"

"Les," he growled.

She smiled back unrepentantly. "Jethro."

Losing the staring contest when he turned attention back to his breakfast, Gibbs didn't miss her triumphant grin. "Don't gloat. I'm hungry."

"Mmhmm." Celeste bit into a slice of bacon and tore the rest of her French toast into small pieces before spearing them one at a time with her fork.

Once the food was gone she stood to start dishes and Gibbs joined her to dry. Cleaning up didn't take long and as she rehung the towel, Celeste turned to him seriously. "Jethro, do you think maybe it's time to do something different with Kelly's room?"

He stopped short and stared at her. "What?"

She tucked her hands in her pockets. "It's been a sacred space for so long. You keep your memories alive that way, but it also keeps people out. Me, the team...you don't have a habitable spare room and you sleep on the couch - where would any of them stay if they needed a safe place?"

Gibbs frowned. He hadn't thought of it that way and wondered how long Celeste had been analyzing the situation. "Huh," he said when he couldn't come up with anything else.

"I'm not trying to change the things that are important to you, it won't alter the way I feel, I was just hoping to show you a different perspective."

"You did." Normally he balked strongly at anything resembling change, but twenty years had passed since his little girl occupied that room. Maybe it was time to do something different. He cleared his throat. "Want to go for a walk?"

"Do you suppose we'll end up somewhere near a frozen yogurt place?"

Gibbs chuckled and slung his arm around her shoulders. "I'll see what I can do."

An hour later they were still comfortably wandering hand in hand, in no hurry whatsoever for time to pass and Gibbs decided he needed some honesty from her. "Been wondering about something Les." She turned her attention from the scenery to him. "You came to DC after the team was reunited, but you barely stayed for the month. Remember you saying one time you didn't trust yourself to stay, how come?" He'd been hoping for something between them then, felt like they could've finally had a chance, and then she was just gone.

"Oh." Celeste spied a bench up ahead and headed that direction. "Let's sit down." She hadn't actually been expecting him to bring up a serious topic. They got to the bench and she angled herself towards him, taking a deep breath. "I guess I was...running scared, trying to keep my heart from being broken again."

His brow furrowed. "Nothing happened, what made you afraid of that?"

She stared across the park. "At that point we'd spent a decade and a half being friends and nothing more. I didn't think we were ever going to be where I hoped, ready to give us another chance, and it hurt too much to be close to you without having the relationship I longed for. So I decided I could never stay home in DC because it was too good at keeping my dreams alive. I'd have to find a place to live far enough away that they would slowly fade into the background and hope eventually I wouldn't feel them quite as much."

"If I'd given you any indication that I was ready to try...?"

Celeste met his eyes. "I probably would've jumped right in and never looked back. But now...now I think it's good we've had this extra time, to get to know each other better, more intentionally." She glanced down. "I believe the work will be worth our effort in the end."

Gibbs pulled her close, pressing his lips to her temple. "Me too."

They stayed like that for a long time, then he found someplace to treat her to frozen yogurt and all too soon they were back at the airport. When he'd escorted her as far as he could go without a ticket, Gibbs stopped but kept hold of her hands. "I hate this part."

"Me too." Celeste swallowed, eyes looking shiny already. Without warning she threw her arms around his neck for a long goodbye hug. In a fit of bravery she whispered, "I love you," then let go and hurried away so he wouldn't see her cry.

Gibbs stared after her in something akin to shock, then a small smile spread over his lips. He didn't care that she said it first, he'd already determined he was not going to let this woman go again. And yeah, after eighteen years it was really nice to hear those words again.

When he finally left the airport the cemetery was his next stop. The girls had their moment yesterday, today was his turn. He lowered himself to the bench in front of his friend's newly filled grave and prepared to bare his soul. "Well Mike, it's been one of those weeks..."

 **NCIS**

Despite taking some time for a walk to try and cool down following his brief time with the director and new SecNav, Tony came home in a foul mood. He slammed the door, dropped his backpack with a thud on the floor and tried to resist the urge to throw one of his shoes across the room. Ziva came out of the bedroom a bit wobbly and foggy, squinting because of the brightness of the sun through the windows after spending so much time in their dark and quiet room. "Tony, what's wrong?"

Her husband was leaning over the counter, looking more than a little unimpressed, but his head came up at her quiet voice and his expression morphed to one of contrition. "Sorry Zi. I forgot about the noise." She took slow steps over to join him and he slid his arms around her waist, resting their foreheads together. "Forgive me?"

Ziva nodded. Her hands framed his face and he closed his eyes, leaning into her touch. She studied the emotions passing over his face and found the main one even though he tried to hide it. "You are angry. Why?" Tony sighed heavily and stepped back, trying to force himself to stay calm. There was more to his resistence than just wanting to protect her from something and she finally guessed what it might be. "Can you tell me?" she ventured. Only a few things she could think of would provoke this reaction and they were all bad.

Tony forced out a breath. "I'm not supposed to tell anyone, not even Gibbs, but I haven't kept one secret from you in almost five years Ziva and I refuse to start now." He ran his hands through his hair, making it stick up in several places that she wanted to smooth down, but right now he needed her to listen. Finally he met her eyes. "I have an assignment, straight from the new SecNav himself. I'm going to be...away for awhile. There's a mole on Barrett's team and it's my job to find him."

Without giving specifics he'd already told her who, since there were only two choices now. Ziva swallowed and whispered the words. "How long?"

Tony drew her close again, his expression pained. "I don't know. Maybe...maybe a few months."

She pulled back to see into his eyes, her own burdened with the sorrow of his announcement. "Just once it would be nice for this to last."

He kissed her softly. "I know Zi, I'm sorry. I didn't want the assignment, even Vance didn't like the secrecy, but Jarvis overruled us both." Tony touched his forehead to hers. "Please don't hate me."

Her fingers curled into his shirt. "I cannot. But promise me you will be careful."

Tony cradled her face in his hands. "I will honey. What we have is too precious to lose."

She leaned into the firm pressure of his lips. "When do you leave?"

Tony swallowed. "We've got the rest of today. But I won't be at the office on Monday."

Ziva closed her eyes. "I know...what we spent our final hours doing last time we knew we would be apart. I am sorry that is not an option now."

He held her tighter. "I'll be gentle sweetheart, I'll be so gentle. Please?" He desperately did not want to leave without having been surrounded in her love like that one last time to get him through the days and weeks they were likely to be separated.

She shook her head carefully. "Tony..."

Tony, feeling human and selfish instead of understanding for once when he so badly wanted and needed that connection with his wife, didn't let her say no again. "Please Zi, please."

A tear leaked from Ziva's eye. "I am so sorry ahava, I cannot." He opened his mouth again and she placed two fingers over it to forestall his argument. "You do not like me to pretend anything and I would have to if you insisted on doing this now. Is that what you want?"

He let go and paced away from her, angry at the situation and frustrated that the timing coincided with his wife being in a state where she was unable to reciprocate his desire and need. He clenched his jaw and stared at the opposite wall, catching sight of their dog in his peripheral vision. Grabbing her leash off the hook he gave a sharp whistle. "I'm taking Meira for a walk."

A moment later the door clicked shut and Ziva returned to their room, curling up on top of the covers and letting the rest of the tears fall. It was unfair to them both that she was sick and hurt when her husband needed her, she hated letting him down. If today was all they had left and she wouldn't see him again for who knows how long, Ziva knew she would regret not sharing intimacy with him when she had the chance. But it would only torment both of them to try something now the she did not think she was capable of carrying through with.

Tony and Meira were gone for a long time, so much so that Ziva had drifted off again by the time they returned. He slipped their pet a few treats and entered the bedroom, his heart squeezing at the tear stains on his wife's face. Laying down beside her, he rubbed his thumb gently across her forehead. "Ziva." Several moments later she opened her eyes and he ghosted his mouth over hers. "I know you would if you could babe. It's not you I'm mad at."

She kissed him back, long and slow, and they indulged in the melding of lips and sharing of breaths until both felt a little more centered. He made a sound of protest when she finally broke away before they pushed it too far. "I could do that forever."

A smile curved the corners of her mouth. "You would eventually need a break from it I think."

He waggled his eyebrows. "Don't want to try for the Guinness record breaking kiss?"

"Even the most fun activities can get boring if you do not have a little variety."

"Fair enough." Tony shifted onto his back and stared at the ceiling while Ziva snuggled up next to him with her head on his chest.

"I will miss this."

He rubbed her back, dropped a kiss on her hair. "Yeah, me too." After awhile she could feel him thinking and he finally shared. "You didn't ask."

Her brow furrowed. "What?"

"Why I'm taking the assignment instead of quitting. I know you didn't forget what I promised last time."

Ziva smoothed her hand over his shirt. "That you would rather quit than be apart from me again. But I also know if you did not there must be a good reason."

"SecNav made it clear that if I tried to quit I'd find myself running extremely low on alternate employment options." She half-sat up with a question in her eyes. "He threatened to blacklist me off every police force in the country so I'd have nowhere else to go." The fire he loved about her began burning in those brown irises and he shook his head to cut it off. "No you can't go take that up with him. At least one of us needs to keep our job." He let out a breath. "And if we're still trying for a baby later this year, we both do."

"That is why you agreed," Ziva reasoned softly.

"What other choice do we have? He's at the top of the pyramid, there's no one to go to over his head." Tony paused for a brief moment of contemplation. "Except the President, and I'm pretty sure he's got more important things to deal with."

"That is how I felt when my-when Eli was in control of my life. I had no one else to appeal to who could overturn his decisions." She nuzzled his neck. "I understand yakiri. I am not blaming you."

Between the meeting and their talks and the walk he'd taken to calm down it was now after lunch. "You hungry?"

"Not very much." Considering his news, she wondered if she'd ever have an appetite again.

"Maybe some soup at least, yeah? And a movie?" Tony brushed his lips over her ear. "And I'll hold you really, really close and pretend I never have to let go."

Ziva nodded. "Okay."

They squeezed as much together time as they could out of the day before Tony finally had to start packing after supper. Ziva tried to help initially but her headache was getting worse so he gently pushed her back against the pillows on their bed. "Take it easy Zi." She spent the rest of the packing lounging there and watching. It made him feel even worse that she didn't say anything, didn't yell at him or beg or anything, but her dark eyes filled with quiet acceptance tracked every move and he hated even more that there was nothing either of them could do to stop it.

Eventually she sat forward and caught his hand, tracing her finger across his ring. "I wish you could take this."

Tony sank down beside her. "Me too sweetheart." That had been the one saving grace of being Agent Afloat, wearing his wedding ring every day for four months. "But you'll keep it safe for me, right?"

"Of course." Ziva placed her hands on his face and brought their mouths together. "I love you Anthony DiNozzo."

"I love you," he whispered, standing and holding out his hand. He began singing in a low voice. "Let me teach you how to dance/let me lead you to the floor/simply place your hand in mine/and then think of nothing more." He pulled her close and began waltzing her carefully around the room. He knew they needed the intimate time to savour being close together when they couldn't make love. "Let the music cast it's spell/give the atmosphere a chance/simply follow where I lead/let me teach you how to dance."

She smiled, loving that he was paying attention to a movie she loved despite the sad parts. Tony sang the simple tune over and over and they moved slower and slower until they were standing still. Then Ziva slid her arms around his neck. "I wish you didn't have to go."

He held her as tightly as he dared. "Oh babe, I know. I wish it with everything I am." When he felt like his heart would burst from the agony of missing her already, he kissed his wife's head. "I love you so much. I'm gonna go for a shower, okay?"

She nodded and reluctantly released him. He backed out of the room, keeping eye contact as long as possible. When she heard the water turn on Ziva went to the office and dug around in her stationery drawer for a smaller sheet of paper. Despite how her head hurt, she managed to pen a short love note to her husband. Then she scanned her collection of stuffed animals and chose a bear. She took both toy and note and snuck them into his already closed duffle bag. Hopefully both would make him smile when he found them.

When Tony came to bed after his shower, he tucked his wife tight against his body and wished with everything in him that he didn't have to let go in a few short hours. Nothing ever caused him as much pain as being forced to leave her behind.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday May 16**

Tony didn't sleep after those first couple hours. Instead he was up half the night watching his wife sleep and dream and breathe, touching her ever so gently, trying to lock everything in his brain for the long months when those memories would be all he had to keep himself company. It tore out his heart to leave their bed at four am and not know the next time he'd be back, but Tony put the early rising time to good use, pouring out his love and regret and hopes and fears in letters and notes he hid in different places around the house for Ziva to find later, hopefully when she needed to hear his voice the most.

The last one was a card he left on his pillow that simply said 'I love you' along with his promise to be back. There was no waking her because after the previous evening he simply couldn't face one more moment of goodbye. He called a cab and on his way out the door stopped to pet Meira. "You be good pretty girl. Take care of Ziva. I'm sorry you don't understand, but I promise I'll be back honey. I could never leave either of you for good. Bye."

"Where to?" The driver asked when his bags were loaded. Tony directed him to a little, rundown motel where he booked a room under one of the fake names he decided to use and walked several blocks until he found a twenty-four hour internet café. There he sat down with stale, lukewarm coffee and sent Mark a short email from the secret, untraceable account McGee had set up back before he left for Agent Afloat. He also left one for Ziva, in case she remembered and thought to check at some point.

From there he headed for a used car lot that was sleazy enough not to check IDs when a customer was willing to pay in cash. In record time Tony picked out and paid for a nondescript car that wouldn't draw any attention. His next stop, having left his cell at home with the GPS disabled so it couldn't be traced to the house, was a convenience store without working security cameras so he could purchase a burn phone. Almost set, his last order of business before accommodations was a new ID, or more specifically, a few new IDs. He spent a couple hours trolling the less desirable neighbourhoods and finally tracked down Slippery Sal, a lowlife he'd arrested years ago who advertised that he could get anything his customers needed. He resisted the request at first, but all it took was a reminder of everything Tony could turn him into the local PD for and he was suddenly very willing to be of service. He promised that scrutiny proof, ironclad aliases and documents to back them up would be ready the next day.

Satisfied that he'd been as resourceful as possible, something the new SecNav clearly expected given that he'd handed over an envelope of money with precious little guidance, Tony took a momentary break from cloak and dagger stuff to call his dad from a payphone. It was okay though, he felt safer and better making his own arrangements for his time spent out of contact with his life. Though not much, he was relieved to have something under his control and protected from the poison Jarvis would likely spread to anything he touched. Considering that it was the time of day most people were at work, he half-expected it when Senior's voicemail picked up. He rubbed his forehead. "Hey Dad. I just wanted to let you know I'm gonna be away for awhile. Got a new assignment at work. Can't give any details, but I'll be traveling. So don't worry and maybe we'll catch up when I get back. Okay, bye."

That taken care of, he bought a newspaper from one of the machines, got some better coffee elsewhere, and began checking the classifieds. He circled anything that seemed promising and started making appointments. The rest of his day was spent looking for an apartment to be his home base, but no matter how hard he tried his heart wasn't in the search. It was on the other side of town in the careful grasp of the woman he loved more than life itself.

 **NCIS**

When Mark checked his phone upon waking, he discovered a cryptic email from an unknown address and his brow furrowed as he read it over. _I have to be away for awhile. Please take care of my wife._ The sign off, simply 'D', gave away the sender's identity and drove his worry level through the roof. It was time stamped for 0530 that morning, less than an hour ago. He ran a hand through his hair, suddenly glad his first client of the day had cancelled because now he had a new mission. Rolling over, Mark kissed Cassie's neck.

"I need you to wake up sweetheart."

"Mmm." She breathed deeply and shifted onto her back, her brow furrowing before she even looked at the clock. "You're supposed to be gone already."

He couldn't resist. "Trying to get rid of me Mrs. Reece? You could've at least waited until Tuesday."

Cassie swatted at him half-heartedly and covered a yawn. "Have you fallen off the favourite's list?"

"Just for today. Got the email shortly after 6 am. Not more than 24 hours' notice so I still get paid half."

Forcing herself into alertness, she tugged her husband down for a kiss. "So was that wake up call an invitation?" It wouldn't be the first time they'd made use of early morning private time. She didn't have to get the kids up until 7:30.

Mark indulged in her mouth for a moment longer, stifling a groan. "I wish," he breathed against her lips, suddenly remembering the seriousness of the situation. He handed her his phone to read the message and Cassie's startled gaze jumped to his. "I know, right? That doesn't sound good."

She slipped out of bed and wrapped her arms around her middle. "Maybe Dad can come and get the kids off to school. I know you can't take the morning off, but-"

He stepped in the path of her pacing and cupped her elbow. "Okay, I appreciate that you're in Mom mode right now but let's start with a phone call, huh?"

Cassie nodded slightly, worrying her bottom lip with her teeth while he punched in the familiar numbers and put the phone on speaker. It rang five times, the max before their answering machine would pick up, and then the receiver clicked. "Hello?"

Ziva's voice didn't seem right and Cassie couldn't help herself. "Mark got an email from Tony this morning Ziva, we're worried. What's going on?"

Something that sounded suspiciously like a sob came across the line and the couple drew closer together. "I do not...want to talk about it. Goodbye."

She hung up and the abruptness startled them both. "You're right," Mark nodded, "this is serious." He turned towards the window, scrolling through his contacts. "I'm going to see if I can reschedule my eight o'clock client for during lunch instead."

Cassie rushed to the nighttable for the house phone. "I'll call Dad."

Fifteen minutes later when the clock didn't yet read 7 am Cassie's dad had arrived and the couple hurried out to their car in the clothes they'd thrown on while waiting for him to get there. Mark, usually such a cautious driver, pushed the limits on this particular morning and Cassie didn't say a word, only stared out the window and prayed silently for the duration of the trip. Not too many minutes later he pulled up outside Tony and Ziva's and they got out.

Stopping at the door he fingered the spare key he'd demanded from his friend two years ago after Ziva returned, glancing towards his wife. "Does this count as an emergency?"

She nodded, though both knew it was treading a fine line of breaking and entering. Meira poked her head out the bedroom door at their entrance but didn't seem concerned enough to venture over and disappeared back into the room. Leaving Cassie to Ziva duty, Mark took a look around the rest of the house, hoping for some clue as to what the heck was going on. Then, as an afterthought, he filled the kettle and boiled water. Cassie and Ziva both treated tea like a cure-all. They really should've been born in England.

Cassie entered the darkened room and offered Meira a pat before approaching the bed and blanket covered figure huddled in the middle of it. "Ziva?"

She opened her eyes and peered with confusion at the uninvited guest. "Cassie, what are you doing here?" There were tears in her voice and clear evidence on her cheeks that many had already been shed.

The older woman sank down beside her friend. "You set off Mark's Papa Smurf radar, and my mom one. We're concerned about you Ziva. What's going on?"

More tears leaked from Ziva's eyes and she lacked the energy to wipe them away. "Tony is gone."

Cassie ran her hand down Ziva's hair. "We gathered that. How come?"

"Work," she sniffed. "He found out yesterday and left before I woke this morning. My heart is broken without him."

Cassie's heart was breaking just listening to her words. "I'm so sorry. Is it for a long time?"

Ziva stared up at the ceiling, doing nothing about the tears that continued to flow. "It could be months," she whispered. "And I know it is my turn to miss him Cassie, last time I was the one who left. But the timing of it, after everything that happened last week..." She sighed. "I no longer have the ability to be without him. I am not strong enough on my own anymore. I both love the change and hate it, so different from before we married."

Cassie clasped Ziva's hand in both of hers. "I'm glad we didn't know you were missing until it was already over. I would've been so worried." She tipped her head to the side. "I remember that dream you shared with me awhile back, about something bad happening. Is that what you were thinking about while it was going on?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes, partly. I was afraid Tony would have to spill our secret during the search. He did not, so the dream was not a direct prediction of the future. But it was similar enough."

Cassie glanced at the clock. Unfortunately their time as comforters was limited, Mark still had to be at work for nine. "Have you eaten anything yet?"

Ziva closed her eyes. "I am not hungry."

"Humour me? It's a mom thing. At least let me make you oatmeal or toast or eggs."

"No eggs." Ziva crinkled her nose. She'd seen enough eggs when she first arrived home after Somalia to last for a long time.

"Okay then. Cinnamon and sugar toast. It's what my mom would've made for a bad day."

Ziva sat up slowly and pushed the covers back. While she got dressed in pyjamas fit for an audience, Cassie went out and quietly suggested to her husband that it might be a good time to take Meira for a walk. "How's she doing?" he asked, eyeing the closed bedroom door.

"Really sad," Cassie shared. "I've never seen them apart before Mark."

"They're some of the people who take two becoming one literally. It's not right for her to be without Tony." He kissed his wife quickly. "Good luck,"

Ziva came out moments after he'd left in fuzzy blue polar bear pyjamas, which her guests didn't know were an inside joke, and found Cassie searching the cupboards for cinnamon and sugar respectively. She located them without help from the homeowner and buttered the toast when it popped. Bringing over the treat, she set the plate in front of her friend. "How's the concussion?"

One shoulder shrugged as she took a small bite. "Today is four days. I still have a headache but I am not feeling as bad. A week is usually how long the symptoms last for me."

"Done this before, huh?" Cassie asked sympathetically.

"More times than I care to count." She clutched the 'Z' necklace she'd just switched to and wondered what Tony was doing at this moment.

"How long are you off work?"

Ziva ate some more toast. It was actually pretty good. Comfort food, something her husband would appreciate. "I will go back tomorrow. I do not like to be alone here where everything reminds me of what I am missing."

The kettle boiled again and Cassie got up to make tea for them both. They were still nursing those mugs and chatting occasionally when Mark returned with Meira. The dog made a beeline for Ziva and dropped her head in the woman's lap. He chuckled. "Someone is glad to see you up."

"Hello Mark."

"Ziva." Mark locked eyes with his wife. "Cass."

She checked the time and sighed. "I'm sorry Ziva. Life and responsibilities beckon, otherwise I'd happily keep you company all day."

Ziva stood. "I understand. It was good of you to come." She hugged them both. "Thank you."

Mark put a hand on her shoulder. "Tony asked us to take care of you while he's away. We'll be here for anything you need."

She blinked back more tears. "Thank you."

"Promise you'll call?" Cassie asked. "Don't try to handle this all on your own. We're family, remember?"

Ziva merely smiled because that's exactly what she was planning to do. As soon as they left she locked the door and in doing so fortified her heart as well. She was on her own again with a mission she did not choose but had to accept - survive the loneliness of being one half of two until her husband came back to her. It might be the hardest thing she'd ever done.

 **NCIS**

Leon was waiting on the catwalk when Gibbs walked in shortly after eight even though the team had been given until 09 to make an appearance. "Gibbs, my office."

Changing course from his desk to the stairs, the team leader arrived in his boss's office moments later.

"Close the door."

Gibbs did with raised eyebrows. "Something on your mind Leon?"

Vance sat down and folded his hands. "DiNozzo's been pulled to assist SecNav with a sensitive situation. He'll be unavailable to your team for some time I'm afraid."

Gibbs glowered. "I don't like it when people mess with my agents."

"Well, to be honest I don't like it either. But this goes way above both our pay grades, so I suggest you just make the best of it."

"This assignment, it dangerous?"

"The job has its hazards, we all know that," Vance answered vaguely.

"He got backup?"

"Unfortunately Agent DiNozzo's running solo on this one. However, if the opportunity arises, I do expect you and your team to give him your full support and assistance."

"Would it be too much to ask for a few details?" Gibbs demanded.

"Classified. And until Agent David returns I have to remove your team from active status. Carter's team can pick up the slack for now." Gibbs stood and stared and Leon's patience ran out. "You're dismissed."

The older agent scowled but turned on his heel and left, slamming the door behind him. Vance sighed. Whatever happened next, it looked to be a very long summer stretching ahead of them and all they could do was wait to see how things played out.

 **NCIS**

Down in the alcove Gibbs pulled out his cell and started on the calls he needed to make. Ziva's phone went to voicemail, a fact that troubled him, but he knew she didn't like people hovering when she wasn't feeling well and decided to give her another day before he busted down her apartment door to check on her. The second call was to Leyla and caught her and Amira in the middle of their after breakfast storytime.

"You will have to thank your friend Celeste for us again. Amira adores all the books she picked out. She has been endlessly carrying them around the apartment in that bag. We so appreciate her generosity."

"Celeste has a big heart and she likes to use it on others. It made her just as happy, believe me."

"You have known her for a long time?"

"Almost twenty years."

"That is a very special friendship," the young woman observed.

He nodded, thinking again of the three words Celeste whispered before she left. They made him feel warm all over, just knowing that somehow he'd been found worthy of her heart after all this time. Gibbs cleared his throat. "What's your day look like? I could cut free for lunch and escort you ladies to the park."

"That would be lovely," Leyla agreed. "And after that I wonder if I might borrow you for awhile? I have a very involved document to fill out so I can file a benefits claim with Mike's life insurance carrier. But I glanced over it last night and realized I am in over my head."

"Done," Gibbs decided. She'd get any help he could give. "Want to go look at cars today too?"

"Let's leave that for tomorrow. It is already shaping up to be a long day." Small hands tugged the phone from her ear and she chuckled. "Someone else wants to say hello."

"Papa Gibbs, can we go on the swings? Swings are Mish's favourite."

He smiled. "Absolutely Miss Amira. We can go on the swings as much as you want."

"Shukran," she said quietly, giving the phone back to her mother. _Thank you - Arabic._

Their conversation ended and Gibbs finally got to his desk. It looked like a full day after all and he realized how nice it was to have family around to fill his time again. That was definitely something he missed.

 **NCIS**

After a fruitless, frustrating day of looking without finding anything usable for his purposes, Tony dragged himself back in the door of his second floor motel room. In need of something to sleep in, he unzipped his duffle bag and was immediately confronted with the small soft brown teddy bear he'd given Ziva on their first Valentine's. It held a stuffed heart between its paws that said 'All my love for you' and tucked behind that was a folded paper. Freeing the note, he read what his wife had written.

 _Dearest - you will be on my heart and in my mind constantly. I will be thinking of you with every breath. I love you with everything I am and I want you to hold onto that truth when the nights are cold and lonely and the days lack spark because we are apart. Promise you will come running home into my arms the moment you are finished. Ani ohevet otcha l'olahm. Yours always._ I love you forever.

Tony sank down on the bed, one finger following each loop and curl in her writing. He noticed she didn't use names, so she was already thinking ahead to his assignment, having anything that could trace to an attachment would be a liability. Her words made his throat tight and he wanted to cry but no longer seemed to possess the ability. Instead all he felt was hopeless because he couldn't be with the person who mattered most to him in the world and he had no idea when he might be able to get back to her.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday May 17**

When Ziva walked into work the next morning, Gibbs was instantly on his feet. "David, you are on medical leave. Get your butt back to that apartment."

"The typical healing time for a concussion is between seven and ten days," she spoke as if quoting from a medical journal. "Since it has already been five and I'm showing few adverse effects I believe my time would be better spent at work than sitting at home in utter boredom."

He glared at her but she simply smiled sweetly and waited him out. "Fine," he growled. "But you're restricted to light duty and right now that means paperwork. Knock yourself out." Her brow furrowed and he rolled his eyes. "Not literally. Get to work."

"Thank you."

McGee was already at his desk and he shot her a relieved grin. "It's really good to see you looking so good Ziva. You about gave us all a heart attack last time."

Her expression was apologetic. "I did not do it on purpose."

"I would hope not."

Abby, upon hearing that their friend was back, also came up to the squadroom to say hello and make sure she was in one piece. The only person conspicuously absent was the ninja's partner and her eyes filled with sadness momentarily before she gestured to his empty desk. "Where is Tony?"

Gibbs sighed. "SecNav's going to borrow him for awhile." At her look he shook his head. "That's all I know. Vance was pretty tight lipped about the whole thing."

Ziva's forlorn gaze tripped over to her partner's space again. "I hope it does not take too long."

"You and me both. I hate running off a half-strength team." He couldn't appear to care too much, he had a reputation to protect.

Later that day the team leader took off early and headed for Leyla's apartment. While Amira was down for her nap they continued filling out the paperwork that had been started yesterday and finally finished it in time to get a late supper going. Gibbs spent the evening playing with and reading to Amira while Leyla painted. After the little girl was in bed they sat on the couch together and made a plan to go look at cars before the end of the week. "I'll stop off at a couple of the used lots tomorrow, see if I can narrow down the choices. Then when you and Amira come it won't be so overwhelming."

"Thank you Gibbs." Her smile was genuine. "Mike would be so grateful for all the help you are giving us."

"You know what his favourite rule was."

"Do what you have to for family," she recited. "Yes, he used that a lot. Mostly every time he got a phone call from DC that put him on a plane to see you."

He kissed her temple. "We felt the same way about that."

T pick up alias IDs today or Wed?

 **NCIS**

The conclusion of her first shortened day back to work brought letter #6 from Eli in the mail and this time it wasn't immediately discarded. Instead she sat down on the couch and thought about it, rubbing her finger over her father's bold handwriting on the envelope, but even after half an hour passed she still couldn't bring herself to open it. Surging to her feet, she went into the office and dropped the letter in the garbage, absolutely determined to forget about it. She was not going to let him wreak havoc on her life again, she'd promised herself and Tony. Whatever he was writing, no matter how persistent he was, the man simply had no leverage left to worm his way back into her heart.

Having too much in her head that needed to get out, Ziva searched the desk drawers until she found a blank page notebook at the bottom of one. Armed with a pen she sat in the corner chair and began the first of what she planned to become a journal of letters to her husband, so he could catch up on everything he'd missed while away. _Dear ahava - today was awful, going into work without you there. I am missing part of myself and half of one is so lonely. I stared at your desk for hours, every time I thought Gibbs wasn't looking, but I am sure he still noticed. Our friends asked how I was doing and I had to lie to their faces, I cannot tell them that my heart is hollow with your absence, that I miss you every minute and would give anything to feel your arms around me. I do not like this one bit. Meira and I both want you home._

 **NCIS**

 **Wednesday May 18**

When Ziva woke up to a debilitating pain in her midsection, she knew the stress of last week and her husband's assignment had conspired to make her even more miserable. She could tell already that this would be one of her bad months and though she usually preferred to try toughing it out at work with drugs, this time she hadn't the energy to pretend and decided right away not to bother. As soon as the clock reached an acceptable hour for making contact with others she called Gibbs to request a couple days off. At first he was concerned it might be her concussion getting worse but once she assured him otherwise he gave her the time and ordered her to call if she needed anything, though he was fully aware that would never happen.

With no one at the house to tattle on her to the gang or Aunt Nettie, Ziva stayed home and felt sorry for herself. She let herself cry and grieve for her lack of husband as she hugged Moses and tried to ignore the empty space behind her where he usually was, doing anything he could think of to make her feel better even when nothing did. She suffered through a few hours without any drugs, but finally dragged herself to the bathroom for one of the heavy duty painkillers Ducky had given him after the beating a couple months ago. They were completely out of the old drugs and she could tell by what was left that these too would run out long before her discomfort had run its course. This time there would be nothing else she could do but wait it out and hope, for once, that her cycle didn't last as long as usual.

 **NCIS**

By mid-afternoon on Wednesday Tony managed to rent a small one bedroom apartment to sleep and do his research in. He'd already decided not to tell Ziva, figuring it was better to eliminate any temptation on her part if she knew where he was. This way he saved himself the worry that she might try to sneak over sometime in a moment of weakness, and his fear that if she did he just might let her. It came furnished, though that was a generous word for the pressboard coffee table, battered old couch, and wobbly kitchen table with one chair that didn't quite match.

A microwave, coffee maker, and handful of other kitchen items that might be useful were scavenged from a couple second hand shops. He made a quick grocery run for the essentials, including Kraft Dinner and a few microwave meals should he ever feel hungry again. There was no TV, but that didn't matter. He wasn't in the mood to watch anything anyways. The bedding and pillows he bought new and folded them neatly on the couch like Gibbs always did. He was about to become his boss for the length of time this assignment lasted. No way, no how would he sleep in a bed where he'd spend the whole time reaching for his wife who wasn't there.

Once he had all the pertinent supplies Tony took a deep breath and dialed a familiar long distance number, waiting for it to connect. He cleared his throat when it did. "Hi Doda."

A smile spread across Nettie's face. "Anthony, how wonderful to hear from you!"

"I wish I could say this was a social call, but I can't talk long." A temporary burn phone was difficult to trace, especially when purchased from a store that wouldn't ask for identification and kept their security cameras for show only, but he didn't want to take any chances.

Her brow furrowed. "Is something the matter?" This conversation was beginning to sound like the one last year when he confessed to missing Ziva's citizenship ceremony and the implication concerned her.

Tony sighed. "You haven't talked to Ziva?"

Nettie shook her head. "Not since Friday when the two of you called me on Skype together to share about your friend who died and what happened to her." As if they had not suffered enough traumatic events during their marriage, now there was another to add to the list.

"Oh." He sounded defeated. "I thought you would've been her first call."

"Achyan, you are making me worry."

Tony cleared his throat. "Sorry. Uh, there's no easy way to say this, but the powers that be who seem determined to mess with our lives have given me a secret assignment." He swallowed. "It's kind of...sensitive and could be dangerous, so I...can't go home until it's finished."

She wished she could see him, instead of merely listening to the heartbreaking resignation in his tone. "Where are you motek?"

He smiled faintly at the endearment, thinking that he and Ziva couldn't've asked for a better fill-in mom than this wonderful lady who'd adopted them both fully into her heart and life. "I rented an apartment on the other side of the city, as far away from Ziva as I could get. I won't risk her getting mixed up in this."

Nettie clucked her tongue. "So many separations dear one, I do not like it."

"No more than I do." Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "I just wanted to let you know. I'm hoping you can check in on Ziva at least once a week. I'm afraid she's going to withdraw from our friends and keep this all to herself, go back to that shadow she becomes when things get really hard. I want more for her than that."

"I wish I could bring her here," Nettie fretted. "Sometimes my little bird needs someone to look after her."

Hope lit his voice. "Maybe you can."

"How?"

"We were both planning to take some vacation time this summer, but since we no longer have the option of going away together maybe you could convince her to spend it with you." He'd feel so much better if he knew Ziva wasn't alone.

"She may not want to come back to Israel achyan," the old woman explained gently. "But I grew up all around Europe, I am sure there is somewhere we could go that would appeal to both of us. Let me think on it. You are a good husband Anthony."

Tony flexed his fingers, desperately missing the gold circle he'd been forced to leave in his nightstand. That reminder meant more than he could ever say. "You know I was serious when I offered that you could come and live with us, permanently."

"Oh Anthony."

He rushed ahead, hoping to appease her objections. "I've already looked into the zoning laws. We could build an addition, a separate apartment over the garage so you'd have your own space. But you'd be welcome any time you wanted to be in the house. I'd like to add a stairway to the plans that'll let you come in through the garage so you don't have to go outside in the winter."

Nettie sighed. "It is a sweet gesture achyan, really, but-"

Tony still held the trump card. "Ziva and I are going to try for IVF in the fall. If it goes well, you might have those babies to spoil after all."

"Babies?" she asked, wonder encompassed in the word. "There may be a way for my Zivaleh to get pregnant?"

He nodded. "Yeah. And I've been hoping so hard for it. The procedure is expensive, but we've been saving for just over a year and we're using part of her pension money now too. We can only go through it three times, if it doesn't work by then the odds aren't so good."

"I am glad there are other options," Nettie said at last. "Even if she did not say it out loud, I know the thought of never carrying a child bothered her deeply."

"I didn't know how much until the subject started coming up a lot a couple months after she got home, and I saw what she was drawing in her sketchbook." Tony picked at a loose thread in his jeans. "I could've made peace with it just being me and Ziva always, but when it's something we both wanted..."

"Then I will hope for you as well, that the two of you may know the joy of becoming parents."

He licked his lips. "Was that a yes?"

Nettie was quiet for several moments, thinking. "I will come when the baby is born," she answered softly and he loved her confidence that it would happen. "And perhaps by then I will also be ready to stay. I could never give up my little house here, but I will leave it to you when I am gone. I want you and Ziva to have a place to stay, if she ever decides to come back."

"We want to keep you around for awhile yet," Tony argued. "But thanks for the thought. And for even considering my proposal. I know how much it would mean to Ziva, and to you. It's hard to miss someone you love so much."

"Yes, it is." The clock chimed and Nettie glanced up. "Oh dear, I'm afraid I have kept you on the phone much longer than you planned. I will keep in touch with your wife Anthony, and do my best to be her company when you cannot. The rest we can talk about again, when there is more time. Take care of yourself, please."

"Do my best," Tony replied. "Thanks Nettie."

"Anytime Anthony. Shalom."

"Shalom."

 _A/N2: So gang, unfortunately I'm not able to get back to posting on a weekly basis yet. I've been doing a lot of work on organizing for the next part of the story but I'm not quite there yet. This chapter will serve as the only update for July. I'll post Ch 2 the first week of August and try my very best to be ready to update on a regular basis come September. I apologize for the wait, right now this is the best I can do. I look forward to hearing what you thought of the chapter! ~Aliyah_

 _ **Replies:**_

 _Debbie (Part 5, Ch 57) - I really like Jimmy so I enjoyed the opportunity to work him into the story a bit more. I did, at one point, read a fanfiction about how Jimmy deal with what Cobb did and it really made me think so I wanted to touch on it here too. I like Breena too. I always thought she was a sweetheart but I appreciated the way she handled Jimmy in such a fragile state. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Part 5, Ch 1) - Thank you, that's very nice of you to say :) I've got a touch of OCD so I can't really help the detail stuff but I'm glad you appreciate it. Always so nice to hear that people are enjoying the series. I'm looking forward to the spinoff story after S9 too, it's gonna be a whopper ;) Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Sue Dooley (Part 5, Ch 58) - Thank you :) So glad you liked this part. That's a lovely compliment, I appreciate it. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Aftermath, Ch 9) - I am definitely planning to go into Tony's story with the fire and the little boy he rescued in greater detail than the show, though as of yet Part 6 is only sketched out so I'm not exactly sure how that event will unfold. Thanks for your interest! :) ~Aliyah_


	2. Part 2 - May 2011

_A/N: Hey guys. Really sorry about the delay. I have planned multiple times over the past few weeks to post this chapter, but time has literally gotten away from me. I'm working 3.5 jobs this summer (65-70+ hour weeks) and the downtime I do have I'm so tired I can hardly get anything done. I didn't mean to stretch things out so long, that's just they way they've worked out. And head's up, I probably will only be able to post one chapter during the month of September and will hopefully be able to get back to more regular updates in October. I appreciate your patience with my process, there's a lot of information that needs to be worked into this part of the story and I desperately do not want to forget something and regret later that I didn't add it. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts on Ch 1 of WLB, I hope you enjoy Ch 2 as well. Have a great last couple weeks of summer! ~Aliyah_

 **Thursday May 19**

Tony's dream started peacefully - he was standing somewhere with Ziva, their arms wrapped around each other. Then she kissed him, smiled, and started to walk way. His brow furrowed. "Ziva, where are you going?" Thick fog began to roll in and there was a gun in his wife's hands and before he knew it she'd been swallowed up by the fog. Panic clogging his throat he ran this way and that, yelling her name, searching, but never able to find her in the murk surrounding him. He finally collapsed on the ground and screamed himself hoarse, begging her to come back and not leave him. Deep, gut wrenching sobs woke him with a jerk and Tony spent a few disoriented seconds frantically feeling around himself looking for his wife, only to realize as clarity sept into his consciousness that she wasn't there and he was all alone without her. Total despair took hold of him as he slumped back on the pillow.

Clenching the blanket in his fists, Tony fought hard against the overwhelming desire to get in the car and drive to their house to hold her. He couldn't, wouldn't, get her in the middle of his assignment, not when SecNav had hinted that he wasn't the only one after Cade, not when it could be dangerous and protecting Ziva was his most important job. But in a moment of weakness he grabbed his phone off the coffee table and dialed the house. Two rings later he came to his senses and flicked it closed, effectively cutting off any potential connection between them.

A glance at his watch showed just before 05 on the second anniversary of the day Ziva stayed behind in Israel instead of coming home with him. He could only guess that it was hitting him this year because they were apart, he had no recollection of even giving the day a passing thought the year before. There wasn't any light filtering through the blinds yet but he clearly wasn't going back to sleep, not if those were the kind of images still waiting for him. Instead Tony got up, shoved a few things into a backpack, and left the apartment, locking it behind him. A quick search in his GPS gave him a list of nearby gyms and he picked the second closest one. If he couldn't sleep then at least he'd be doing something useful with his time. Ziva always found exercise to be therapeutic, maybe he would too. And maybe, if she wasn't in every other thought, he'd actually be able to focus on the job he had to do in order to get back to her.

 **NCIS**

When the phone rang and woke her for the second time in two hours Ziva almost pulled the cord right out of the wall. But seeing as being destructive was rarely a wise choice, she waited for the answering machine to pick up and the muffled words to stop before she simply turned the phone on and left it off the hook. She felt miserable already having used up the last of Tony's painkillers with the previous dose and knew that would leave her suffering through the agony of the cramps with only extra strength Advil, which from experience barely even touched the pain.

Her husband's absence only made all of it worse. No one to bring her more pills when they wore off or help her change the sheets when she leaked. No one to run her a soothing bath or coax her to eat. No strong arms to hold her on the couch, no voice whispering in the dark, no husband offering comfort just by his presence. She missed Tony from the depths of her soul - not just because of the things he did for her when she was hurting (though that was nice too), but because he was part of her and his love the thing she counted on most of anything else. Without him around she simply had no reason to get out of bed.

 **NCIS**

Another day without Ziva made the bullpen a very quiet place and as they weren't currently on active duty, at three pm Gibbs gave up and left to go be with Leyla and Amira, issuing McGee an order to dismiss himself by four. That was enough shock for the probie but he certainly didn't plan on arguing. As soon as the elevator doors closed behind his boss Tim headed down to the lab, content to spend any remaining work time in his best friend's company. Heck, he'd even tune her babies for an excuse to linger if he needed one. A month had passed since their reconciliation and he was ready to be a little more proactive about claiming Abby's time. She was his favourite part about coming to work.

Gibbs arrived at Leyla and Amira's not long after his departure from the building and bundled them into his car. He listened with a smile as Amira chattered on about her books and how Mish had spent the morning playing hide and seek so he didn't have to take a bath, and what Mama made them for lunch. He didn't need to say much to keep her going but she checked every couple minutes to make sure he was paying attention. They cruised three used car lots before finding one that had a vehicle like Leyla was looking for. It was on the list of makes and models Gibbs had already scouted out, approved for safety and reliability, and once Amira declared her appreciation of the colour it was set.

The salesman, Shawn, was a polite young man Gibbs judged to be in his mid-thirties and he smiled indulgently at Amira. "Is this car for you little miss?"

Amira half-hid her face in Leyla's skirt. "Me and Mama," she mumbled. Then as an afterthought she held up the stuffed cat nearly always in her possession these days. "And Mish."

Shawn chuckled. "Well, Mish picked a good car. This is one of my favourites. Will you take good care of it?" She nodded and Leyla smiled. Shawn slipped a hand in his pocket. "Can I give her a sucker?"

The young mother gave her consent and he crouched in front of her daughter holding up five suckers. "Which colour is your favourite sweetheart?"

Amira immediately plucked the green one from his hand and Leyla whispered something in Arabic. "Shukran," she offered quietly. Leyla said something else and Amira explained. "That means 'thank you'."

Shawn grinned. "I've never been thanked like that before. You're a lucky little girl to know two languages." He wiggled the remaining suckers. "Want to pick one for your mom and grampa too?"

She stared at him solemnly. "My jaddi is dead. That's my Papa Gibbs."

Shawn's brow furrowed. "I'm sorry to hear that. You must miss him. Do you think Papa Gibbs like suckers?"

Amira giggled and took a red one. "Everyone likes suckers silly." She offered it to Gibbs and looked up at Leyla. "What colour do you want Mama?"

"I will take purple habibi, thank you." She turned her smile to Shawn as he stood. "You are very kind."

He shrugged. "My nieces swear by suckers. Best ice breaker in the world." He handed her the purple one. "Enjoy."

"Thank you."

At that point Gibbs stepped in. "Let's go look at the paperwork."

Leyla frowned. "Gibbs."

He touched her arm. "I'll take care of the first payment. The rest you can deal with when the money comes in."

She shook her head at his stubbornness but didn't try to argue further. "Alright."

Gibbs opened the door and lifted Amira onto the front seat. "Why don't you check out your new car honey? I'll be right back."

Leaving them with the car, Gibbs followed Shawn to the office to get the details out of the way. The young man cleared his throat. "Who was it that died, her dad?"

Gibbs sighed. He knew interest when he saw it. "Amira's dad died shortly after she was born. Leyla's father-in-law was killed in the line of duty last week. They've been through a lot."

Shawn blinked. "Oh, I'm sorry."

He shrugged. "Mike was an old friend, his girls are my family now."

The young man licked his lips. "So she's not...married? I just...didn't see a ring."

Gibbs shook his head. "Nope, not married. And I don't want her to be alone forever. But rushing her would not be advisable." He rarely spoke that much at once but it was an important topic.

"Understood Sir." Shawn got back to business and after they shook hands over the contract he followed Gibbs back out and gave Leyla his card.

"You ever have any problems just let me know and we'll get you fixed up in no time."

Leyla felt the force of his smile and recognized the look in his eyes. Celeste's words came back to her and she began to wonder if maybe she wouldn't always be on her own after all. "Thank you."

He knelt to shake Amira's hand. "It was very nice to meet you little miss. Maybe I'll see you again someday."

She studied him carefully. "Do you like the park?"

Shawn's face lit up. "I love the park."

"Us too. You could come and play."

Leyla started to correct her but Shawn shook his head. "It's no trouble. Maybe I will."

"Okay. Bye!"

Gibbs saw the look on Leyla's face and leaned close. "Might be worth giving it a chance, if he ever shows up."

She arched an eyebrow. "Matchmaking goes both ways Gibbs. If you feel free to meddle, I will too."

He kissed the side of her head. "Fair enough." But he didn't need any help in that area. He and Celeste were already headed in the right direction, he just had to decide what happened next.

 **NCIS**

 **Friday May 20** (3rd anniversary of Jenny's death)

Another long day passed without any trace of Ziva and Gibbs couldn't take not knowing anymore. He looked up the address of her apartment in Alexandria and drove over right after work. A glance of the parking lot showed no signature mini and he frowned, pulling out his phone to call her cell. He listened impatiently to three, four, five rings and finally, just before it would've gone to voicemail he heard her faint voice. "Hello?"

She sounded miserable. "Just wanted to check on you Ziver."

A sigh passed over the line. "I am fine."

Gibbs shook his head. "A spy oughta be a better liar David."

"I do not have enough energy to be convincing."

"I'm right outside. Buzz me in and I'll keep you company for awhile."

He could sense her hesitation. "You are at...the apartment building?"

"Yeah. But I don't see your car."

More hesitation. "There are times that regular maintenance requires it to be left overnight at the garage."

So formal! "Okay. So are you gonna let me in or what?"

Ziva couldn't believe the timing. Of all occasions for him to decide she needed looking in on, it had to be now? "I...appreciate the thought Abba, really, but I am terrible company right now."

"I'll make you some tea and toast," he bargained.

She bit her lip. "I am afraid I do not have much of an appetite. But thank you for thinking of it."

Gibbs couldn't come up with another way to gain entrance and gave up. "Take care of yourself kid."

"I will," Ziva answered softly. "See you on Monday."

He hung up and dialed Celeste as he drove home. Something wasn't sitting right about the whole encounter.

She picked up with a smile. "Did we decide to go back to once a week calls?"

Gibbs wanted to smack himself. "Sorry Les, it wasn't on purpose."

She shrugged. "The phone works both ways." Her heart sped up, wondering if he'd address her declaration or let it fall by the wayside.

"It was really nice to hear you say those words again," he confessed quietly.

Celeste took a deep breath. "I've been holding them in for a long time."

Gibbs tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. "I'm gonna mean them this time Les, from the bottom of my heart. I won't say it until I'm sure I can mean it the way you deserve."

She covered her mouth with her hand. "Okay," she managed after awhile. "That's what I would want anyways."

He decided a change of subject was needed. "Been a rough week for the team. Ziva's off sick so we're benched, new SecNav's using Tony for some assignment - don't know when he'll be back." Gibbs rubbed his face. "Just tried to visit Ziva but she wouldn't let me in. I don't like it Les, something is going on."

"She's hurt and sick Jethro. Tony is probably the most stable part of her life. Maybe she just misses her partner."

Gibbs snorted. "Ziva's never needed anyone else to prop her up, that's not going to change now."

Did he have to be so oblivious? "You know as well as I do that she's not as strong or self-sufficient as she wants everyone to think. And they are very good friends outside of their work relationship."

"I'll talk to her on Monday," he said gruffly, neither acknowledging or denying Celeste's point.

She'd been firmly on the side of his agents since the first time he complained about their volatile interactions. But some people saw what they wanted to see, his perspective was a whole lot different.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday May 22**

When the phone rang at almost the same time Sunday as it had most of the week, Ziva finally answered rather than letting the machine get it. "Hello?"

"Zivaleh, thank goodness!" came Aunt Nettie's welcome voice. "Motek, I have been trying to reach you for days, why did you not pick up? I am worried."

She pinched the bridge of her noise. "Ani mitzta'eret Doda, it has been a long week. I did not wish to speak to anyone." _Except my husband, but he cannot even call._

Nettie sighed. "Anthony called me on Monday Zivi, I know what has happened."

Tears pricked the corners of Ziva's eyes, but she was thankful the situation did not need explaining again. "If you remember what I was like that week in Haifa the last time we were separated, you know how I am feeling now."

The older woman didn't like to think of how broken her niece had been when she didn't know if she'd ever see her husband again. "I am so sorry for this loss tatelah. It does not seem fair."

"He has no choice," she spit out bitterly, torn between keeping her job and giving the new SecNav a very strongly worded piece of her mind.

"That much I could have guessed. My nephew would never be away from you if there was any other option available."

"I am glad you know him so well." Ziva shifted positions to sit up in bed leaning against the headboard with pillows for support.

Nettie listened to her movements with a frown. "Are you in bed darling?" She'd never known her niece to still be sleeping at this hour.

Ziva traced the pattern on their light summer comforter. "I have spent the whole week here."

"Is the trauma still affecting you so badly?"

She shook her head, grateful for the ability to do so without causing pain. "The symptoms have mostly disappeared now. But my cycle was very difficult this month and with my husband gone I was in no condition to be at work."

"You are mourning for him," Nettie realized.

"Yes. And for us," she sniffed. "I would not have been able to hold myself together in front of the others."

"Oh my little bird," her aunt fretted. "I wish there was something I could do ."

"Me too," Ziva agreed quietly.

Then Nettie remembered. "When Anthony called he suggested we might spend your vacation time together. I would enjoy that so much Zivi."

"As would I Doda, but..." she bit her lip. "I cannot come back to Israel. Not even for you. I am sorry."

"Yes, I have been thinking about that." Though she knew after six months of trying to contact his daughter her brother would love an opportunity to make amends, that would only make Ziva refuse all the more. The fences between them were still very much in disrepair. "What would you say about going to the house on Capri?" It had been her brother Asher's favourite retreat, left to her and his siblings' children upon his death.

Ziva's brow scrunched as she tried to recall clear memories of the island home, but many years had passed since she visited with her brother and sister. "I barely remember it Doda, but I have always loved Capri."

"We spent many happy times there when you were small. Rivka adored that house. But after Asher passed it was hard for any of us to go. The place has stood empty now for too many years. He would be glad to see it in use again. Your dod always meant for it to be a haven for his family. I am sure you will be in need of one this summer."

She leaned her head back. "Yes, I would like that very much. Toda."

"Then I will look forward to seeing you there. We can pick a date later, you let me know what works. My schedule can always be rearranged."

"Ani ohevet otach," Ziva whispered. She settled back to listen as her aunt began to fill the silence with everything she'd been up to recently, her voice a balm to the emptiness in Ziva's soul.

Sunday stretched out even after as long a run as she could handle with Meira, so Ziva went for a short swim in the afternoon as well, avoiding thoughts of the gang and the encouraging invitation Cassie had left on the machine yesterday, hoping she'd join them for the basketball practice. When she returned, drained and with a slight headache, she stood at the door to their bedroom and made a decision.

She grabbed her pillow off the bed and Moses from the bedside table. Marching into the mostly empty spare room, she deposited both on the futon and returned to their room. Ziva opened the closet and was hit with a wave of Tony's familiar scent. Struck by a thousand images all at once of times that same smell had surrounded her, she buried her face in a handful of shirts and breathed deeply. Abruptly she let go and took an armload of her things to hang in the built in spare room closet behind the door. She went back again and again until each article of hers, along with several pairs of shoes and boots, had been removed.

After that she moved to her dresser and surveyed it with crossed arms, considering whether or not to wrestle the entire thing into the next room. But in the end she just took out the drawers and lined them up neatly along the wall. Her jewellery went atop the small bookcase and Meira's bed as well was moved to the back corner. Ziva got a fitted sheet out of the linen closet and put it over the futon cushion. Along with a top sheet and soft fuzzy blanket it made up what she was determined would be her bed from now on.

Resolutely she shut the door to their room and vowed not to go back in without her husband. Standing inside the now occupied spare room, her heart sank at the small space where she planned to sleep. Especially with Moses sitting solemnly beside her pillow it felt like being single again and rather than make it better, because at least with the cushion at her back she wouldn't expect to find her husband laying behind her, it only made Ziva miss him more.

 **NCIS**

Left at loose ends on a Sunday afternoon without the gang or his wife to fill time, Tony began wishing he'd thought to bring his guitar along. He'd already spent a couple hours at the gym and worked on his project as much as possible using the case file from Jarvis and he didn't have the heart to watch a movie even if he'd brought any. That sent him out trolling music stores and resulted in him returning with a gently used guitar and a few books of music mostly containing well known movie soundtrack scores. He figured if the SecNav was forcing him to be a lone wolf for the mission, the least he could do was pay for some way to keep his agent's sanity intact. Tony played the day away until his fingers hurt too much to continue. But even with all the sheet music to occupy him, he kept coming back to one song - the one he'd written for Ziva. Of anything else he accomplished during this reluctant time away from her, the least he could do was figure out how to finish it.

 **NCIS**

That night marked two weeks since Darien moved into his new house and as he looked around at the torn apart space, memories from moving day flooded back into his mind. He'd started packing the night before, wanting to get a headstart before the gang invaded for a long, loud day of packing and making trips between his condo and the new place. The kids had been kept home from their usual weekend time with the grandparents and all adults concerned did their best to keep them occupied and feeling like they were part of the process. Their only disappointment was that both dogs had been left at home on the general consensus that they'd be more of a hindrance than a help in this situation.

A couple hours in found them already with one load of boxes and another that was just furniture loaded up and ready to go. Since none of the girls could wait to see where he was moving to, all fourteen of them piled into the vehicles and tagged along. The gang's first reactions were telling - his mid-sized house on a quiet street clearly wasn't what some of them had been expecting. Mark got out and surveyed it with hands on hips. "Well," he said slowly, "it's got character."

Cassie stepped up beside her husband. "And potential."

Adrian crinkled his nose. "It's kinda run down man." Brent slapped him on the back of the head and he belatedly ducked, rubbing the spot. "I mean, the house is showing its age a little."

Darien crossed his arms and chuckled. "I'm finding I don't do well with the amount of downtime retirement offers. I bought a fixer upper to fill that time." He studied the house proudly. "I'm gonna tear it apart one room at a time and completely remodel and renovate it. You won't recognize the place by the time I'm finished with it." He pointed the amigos towards the backyard. "There's a pool. And a hammock. Which is where I'll be supervising any swimming from."

The kids lit up while Jordan rolled his eyes. "Liar," he scoffed. "You're going to be right in there with them and having twice as much fun."

Darien chuckled. "Fine. We'll let the old fuddy-duddys have lifeguard duties and I'll be the fun one."

"Please," Adrian contended. "Everyone knows I'm the fun uncle."

"I believe that title is mine to claim," Tony asserted, stepping forward but stopping when Ziva grabbed his arm. He gave her an innocent look. "What?"

Ziva exchanged glances with Cassie and shook her head. "Do you ever feel like an umpire?"

"A referee?" Cassie interpreted. "All the time."

The kids had to go confirm Darien's words, meanwhile Cassie was dying to get a look inside. After making sure someone corralled the smaller humans Darien gave them the grand tour, throwing out his plans as he went. "I know the kitchen looks like it came straight out of the seventies, but I definitely plan to update the layout and colouring scheme. It'll be a patissier's dream by the end." Ziva arched an eyebrow and rattled off a string of French words. He smirked. "Not an actual pasty chef of course, only in my mind. But it is kind of fun to say."

They continued around the first floor. "This whole wall here is going to go, I want a more open concept main area."

Once they got upstairs. "Yeah, the master bedroom looks a little scraggly, but I'll get on it after I put in an ensuite bathroom - the word I have in mind is sleek."

And all the way to the bottom of the house. "The basement needs some repair and patching and insulating and I'm definitely getting rid of the dungeon look," he said in reference to Tony's adamant refusal to go further than the steps while Ziva rolled her eyes at the throwback to an old case.

Darien showed them another room at the back of the house. "It looks dark and cramped now but eventually this will be my man cave."

Tony snorted. "Dude, you're single. The whole house could be a man cave."

He shook his head. "And that is exactly why Ziva decorated your house."

His friend pouted. "I helped."

Ziva patted his chest in faux sympathy. "I am sorry we did not have room for your man cave ahava."

Tony slung his arm around her waist. "That's okay. I got you babe."

The others laughed at his blatant song reference and Cassie turned pleading eyes on Darien. "I have a great idea."

He pursed his lips. "That usually means I should run."

She glared briefly before softening the expression. "How about you leave me and Allie here to unpack and everyone else can go back with you?"

"Yeah, because I'm never going to regret leaving you two unsupervised in my new house." Darien vetoed them pretty fast. "Sorry sis, but you are coming back to the condo. I know it's not what you girls would do, but aside from the necessities nothing's really getting unpacked. I plan to spend the summer working on the first floor. So rather than move everything as I go, I'm just going to keep it all out of the way in the first place."

Cassie's shoulders sagged and Allie patted her back. "Sorry Cass. It was worth a try."

Once the tour concluded they all headed back to Darien's condo. Lunch came in the form of sandwich plates prepared by the ladies and at dinner time, six trips into the day, Alec, McKenna and Ryan were dropped off at Wes and Breanna's, from which their grandparents would collect them in time for bed. It had been a long day and a lot of work and though they'd been troopers none of the parents were interested in tempting fate with their behaviour. The adults got in another hour then ordered pizza, eaten on the floor since furniture was long gone. The moving party continued until eleven pm when the last box was finally unloaded and Darien had left his condo keys in the drop box. Cassie and Allie tried to sell him on a housewarming party the next day but he eventually got them to agree to a postponement until he finished renovations.

All in all it had been a pretty good experience. Thinking about it now Darien was glad Mark insisted they all pitch in - he wouldn't've traded the memories for anything. The floor he was standing on caught his attention again and Darien returned to his work with the power sander. He had a long way to go but working with his own two hands had never felt so good.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday May 23**

Feeling more like herself but looking very similar to her appearance after the serial killer case where she almost became another victim because she'd spent most of the last week in bed crying, Ziva forced herself to go into work and was grateful to have a distraction. Gibbs looked up when she walked in with a smile that became a frown as he took her in. He stood and made his way to her space, brushing her hair back. "How's the head?"

She shrugged one shoulder. "I get the stitches out today." Technically it should've been earlier but she'd been indisposed between seven and ten days post-concussion.

"Sure you're okay to be back?"

Ziva half-glared at him. "I am fine."

Gibbs wanted to tell her to take a look in the mirror but refrained and returned to his desk.

McGee arrived a few minutes later and grinned at the sight of his teammate. "Ziva! Hey! It's great to see you. Abby and I were worried."

She gave him a slight smile. "It is good to be back to routine."

He studied her closely, his face turning contemplative as he set down his bag. Moments later Tim was off to the breakroom and brought her back a mug of tea. The gesture was something he knew her partner would've done if he'd been in. "Thank you," Ziva said softly, touched by his thoughtfulness.

A few hours later while McGee and Gibbs were on food and coffee runs respectively, Ziva picked up her bag and pulled open her bottom desk drawer to store it where she always did. When she did she came across a zippered pouch she had definitely not left there. Brow furrowed, she lifted it out and looked at the note in her husband's handwriting. _Since there's now no danger of you offing the new girl in a fit of rage, I guess it's safe to give these back. I know you want to be Pocahontas for the gang Zi, but personally I really love my ninja - T_. She smiled fondly at his words and eagerly dumped out all her extra weapons. If her partner couldn't be here to watch her back, she'd have to be doubly prepared to cover her own six.

She avoided going home as long as possible, but Gibbs ordered her out of the building when he left at 1900 and Duke revoked her gym privileges after an hour and a half when she showed no signs of slowing down. Meira's walk to an almost deserted dog park took up more time but the long shower Ziva planned to indulge herself in had to be cut short when water turned to tears after she began imagining Tony in there with her. That wouldn't do so she got out, wrung the moisture from her hair and braided it back from her face, careful still of the healed but tender cut, and forewent a brush because of it.

The phone rang while she was getting dressed and she let the answering machine get it. Cassie's voice could clearly be heard through the speaker. "Ziva DiNozzo, you answer this phone right now or I will be at your door in twenty minutes to make sure you're still alive."

At that the Israeli shook her head and grabbed the handset. "I am here Cassie."

Her friend made a frustrated noise. "What have we told you guys about being out of contact? If you're not coming you need to let us know. The guys were all ready to come over yesterday and bust down the door. We haven't seen you in a week and for all we know you could've died in your bed from a head injury because no one was around to check on you." Cassie finally stopped for a breath and Ziva took advantage of the opportunity to speak.

"I am sorry to worry everyone Cassie. I thought you would all understand that I was not able to be around other people for awhile."

Cassie sighed. "I figured as much. But after talking to you last week...we just needed to know you were okay."

"I am not okay. I miss my husband. I am miserable. And there are very few people who understand." Being so honest with someone not her husband was far outside Ziva's comfort zone and she waited with trepidation for the response.

"I know we don't really understand Ziva," she said quietly. "But we love you, that's got to count for something. You're family. Can't you let us help?"

Ziva put a hand to her forehead. "I cannot," she whispered. "I am sorry Cassie. Please just let me handle this my own way." She wouldn't be able to keep it together if they drowned her in the circle of protection and affection like she was sure they were dying to do. She had to find the strength to be without Tony, and she couldn't do that if she let them in any further.

"Okay," the other woman agreed, albeit reluctantly. "But just remember we are here for anything you need."

"I know. Goodbye." Pressing the 'off' button, Ziva sank onto the chair and wondered despondently how she was ever going to make it through this newest trial.

When her fleeting pity party was over Ziva wandered into the office and her eyes fell on Tony's cell that had been left behind. Though it was useless for calls at the moment she still turned it on and went to his photos, thumbing through them with a small smile on her lips. She'd forgotten how many he had of the two of them. When she came across one just of her in her blue coat leaning on a railing wearing a pensive expression, she had to search her memory to place the moment. It came back to her in a flash that she'd been using that coat during their protection detail for the Belgravian brat. Often when he was sneaking pictures at a crime scene she noticed but this time she'd clearly been oblivious.

Shutting the device off because it only made her longing for him worse, Ziva settled in the corner chair with the blank notebook to record her day so her husband would be able to catch up on the life he'd been absent for when he got back. She glossed over the amount of exercise and focused instead on moments she wanted to share. Then, just as she had for eight nights, Ziva brushed her teeth and got into bed alone, hoping she was one day closer to seeing her husband again.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday May 24** (6th anniversary of Kate's death)

Ziva went into work not expecting Tuesday to be any different than Monday. She was sad and tired and lonesome and didn't see that changing anytime soon, so it was a great and wonderful surprise when her husband walked in shortly after McGee sat down. Their eyes met for a brief moment and she didn't bother to hide the delight coursing through her. Tony dropped his bag on the floor and cleared his throat. "Glad to see you're fully recovered partner."

She nodded slightly but didn't trust herself to speak. McGee did not have the same problem. "Hey Tony. Didn't think we'd see you back here for awhile." Gibbs filled him in only as much as saying Tony had been given additional responsibilities by the new SecNav that would keep him mostly out of the office for an undetermined length of time.

Tony forced a smile. "Unpredictability is one of my strengths." He looked at Gibbs. "Boss."

The team leader acknowledged his presence but remained silent. A secret assignment not involving the rest of them left little that could be said.

Ziva and McGee continued working on what they'd been doing yesterday and Tony took advantage of being in the building to expand his search. Other than that first, fleeting glance Ziva didn't look at him again and he didn't feel the freedom to sit there and soak in the sight of her so settled for quick, stolen gazes when no one was paying attention. He never thought he'd miss sitting at a desk until he wasn't spending twelve hours a day parked six feet away from her. And even though Tony was thankful for the opportunity to be close again, he didn't like what he was seeing.

For that reason he joined McGee in the breakroom an hour later for some much needed coffee. Tony didn't know about Ziva, but sleeping had been difficult since his last night by her side. Tim stirred his drink and tossed the stick, taking a cautious sip. "So, not much you can tell us?"

His teammate sighed. "Orders were pretty clear on that." Except now that he thought about it, Jarvis had directed his comment to Vance and only said the rest of the team didn't need to know. He hadn't specifically told Tony he couldn't fill them in, though that part was obviously implied. Might be something to keep in mind for later, a loophole if all else failed. But for now he kept it to himself.

McGee stared at the floor thoughtfully. "Is it dangerous?"

One shoulder shrugged. "Not yet."

"Timing kinda sucks, huh?"

Tony's expression was grim. "You have no idea."

"I think Ziva's concussion was worse than she let on," Tim confided, immediately gaining his friend's full attention.

"What? Why?" His heartrate jumped and his mind began running all sorts of unpleasant scenarios, but outwardly he did his best to appear calm.

"She only made it in one day afterwards, then Gibbs said she was going to be out sick for a few days. Vance kept us off active duty all last week."

Tony swallowed. "But she seems okay now?"

McGee gave him a look. "You've seen her. Does she seem okay to you?" He leaned back against the counter. "I've only seen her this way a couple times before and it's always bad. Do you think...being held hostage brought up some memories from Somalia?" He'd avoided thinking it before, but with how Ziva was acting he couldn't help drawing the connection now.

Tony rubbed the back of his neck. "I don't know." And he hated that, for one of the first times, he actually didn't.

The moment Gibbs left the building mid-morning for the only kind of coffee he ever drank outside his house, Ziva got up and left the bullpen. Three minutes later - McGee timed him - the senior field agent muttered something about needing to hit the head and disappeared as well. Somehow he didn't think their mutual absence was accidental.

Taking a guess at where to find her, a place more private than their other options, he clattered down five flights of stairs to the camera blindspot under the final flight. Ziva's face crumpled when he came into view and she threw herself into his arms. Tony grasped at her body, holding her as tight as possible. He didn't bother fighting the tears that came as he buried his face in her hair. Her shoulders shook and he closed his eyes, hating that he was the cause of her distress. "I'm sorry Ziva," he whispered over and over. "I'm so sorry."

Ziva pushed back and put a finger over his lips. "Do not apologize for doing your job ahava. I am not blaming you."

He used his thumb to wipe away the wet trails on her cheeks, more than happy when she replaced her finger with her mouth. Tony kissed his wife deeply, desperately, with an aching longing that bruised their already fragile hearts. He wished it never had to end, but eventually air became a necessity and they reluctantly parted, standing with foreheads touching while they caught their breath. "I hate this," he confessed.

"So do I," she said quietly.

His fingers dipped into her dark waves, ever so gently finding the healing cut from being hit with Cobbs' gun. "How are you doing?"

Ziva kept her eyes closed, savouring his touch. "Better."

"Really?" Tony rubbed her arm. "Because McGee said you were only at work one day last week and the team was off active duty."

Ziva shrugged. "A three man team is one thing, but a two man team quite another."

He frowned. "Was the concussion that bad?"

She sighed. "Bad things come in threes, yes? The concussion, you leaving, and it is one of my bad months." She rubbed her forehead. "I haven't slept well all week."

Tony cradled her against his body. "Me neither babe. I'm sorry I couldn't be around."

Ziva buried her face in his neck. "I miss you so much, but nothing more than your scent and being in your arms. Ahava, I do not know how we are going to do this."

He held her tighter, dropping his head onto her shoulder. "If things are this bad after one week..." He adjusted their position just enough for his lips to find hers again and they both desperately tried to draw everything they'd missed out of one single kiss. "I don't know how I'm going to let you go without knowing the next time we'll be together like this." They only had so much time before someone noticed their absence.

The thought of letting her go brought vestiges of his dream, his nightmare, back to the forefront of Tony's mind and he shuddered involuntarily. Ziva, nestled in his arms, felt it and she caressed his back, tilting her head up to look in his eyes. "What is it?"

Drawing her tighter against him, Tony stared into the coffee coloured irises he wanted to get lost in. "I uh...had a...bad night on the anniversary last week."

Her brow furrowed. "What anniversary?"

"When you stayed in Israel," he mumbled. "I woke up and you weren't there and that made it a hundred times worse. I almost called but I hung up after one ring. I can't risk anything tracing back to you."

"Oh ahava." Ziva pulled his mouth down to hers, solving the immediate problem in a way that seemed best given their proximity. Tony sighed against her lips, angling his head to deepen the kiss, and held on until both their lungs felt ready to burst. "I'm sorry I wasn't there yakiri. I always want to be by your side when you need me."

He rested his head on her shoulder. "I wish that was possible."

They held each other in silence for awhile, then Ziva turned her head to whisper in his ear. "I found your note tucked in with my tea bags. If only for a moment it made me smile, thank you."

Tony swallowed because his words were a poor substitute for his presence in their home and life together. "That was the idea. Glad it worked." He happened to glance at his watch and realized they'd been gone long enough that someone would notice, but he still loathed to be the one instigating their parting. "Zi..."

The deep sadness in her gaze conveyed both understanding and reluctance that mirrored his own. Curling her fingers into his jacket, she made a last ditch effort to keep him with her, knowing all the while that desire was impossible. Her body trembled with a stifled sob as she accepted the inevitable and she claimed his mouth fiercely, breaking away before he'd even begun to get his fill. "Close your eyes," Ziva whispered, "and do not open them until you hear the door close. I love you with everything I am neshama. Please come home to me soon."

Tony squeezed his eyes shut as she escaped his possessive grasp and ran away. When the door swung closed with a final click he saw only empty space in front of him and fell back against the wall, feeling the hole in his chest where his heart was only as long as she remained by his side. Every time they had to say goodbye she took it with her and the ache this time was almost unbearable.

He swiped at a lone tear that started to fall and wished for the freedom to break down and sob from the pain of this loss. "I should've quit," he muttered to no one in particular. "The minute they gave me this stupid assignment I should've quit regardless of the SecNav's threats." Tony jammed the heels of his hands into his eyes. "I'm sorry Ziva, for one more thing we have to regret."

It was ages before he could force himself to move and even longer until he summoned the resolve to face the bullpen again. If McGee could've found a name for the looks that passed between his co-workers the moment their gazes met it would have had nothing to do with eye sex. This was more like watching two hearts shatter as he stood there, a speechless witness. Whatever was going on, it had already taken its toll on the separated partners. The depth of pain that shimmered in the space separating their desks made certain he'd never use this scene in one of his books, such a thing was too private to be any of his business.

 **NCIS**

It was a beautiful warm sunny day and Tony was golfing on his lunch break, rather against his will, but as he'd already learned from experience one didn't say no to the new Secretary of the Navy. He'd never been real big on the activity, didn't really see the point of going to all that effort to put a little white ball in a hole, and his lack of experience was showing now. He swung and missed, not the for the first time, and Jarvis looked at him. "You ever play golf before DiNozzo?"

Tony gave a perfunctory chuckle. "Of course Mr. Secretary. You know...as a kid...with my father, on holiday."

"That explains a lot." He crouched down to examine the ball's position. "It's a game about patience, taking every element into account. Just when you think you're in control, you're not."

Already tired of the game in more ways than one, Tony raised an eyebrow at his boss's boss's boss. "Are you gonna talk in metaphor for the rest of the round Sir? Because if so I'd be happy to opt out now and skip the messing around."

Hard to tell whether Jarvis appreciated the candor or not, but he did get to the point. "You shoot from the hip. That's part of the reason I chose you for this assignment."

"What's the other part?"

The older man leaned on his club. "You know what it takes to be a good agent. You don't mind getting your hands dirty. In that respect, NCIS has been good for you."

Preparing himself for more threats or warnings, Tony repeated the word warily. "Been?"

"Well, no disrespect to Director Vance or Agent Gibbs, but we have a situation and it's our job to deal with it."

 _It's not my job_ , Tony wanted to retort. _If it was up to me, I'd have nothing to do with this situation at all and I'd be home with my wife where I belong_. Instead he threw out a lifeline he was pretty sure the SecNav was going to ignore. "I'm sure the rest of the team could be helpful Sir."

Jarvis set up his shot. "I didn't ask the rest of the team DiNozzo. I asked you." He putt the ball in. "You saw the photo, you know who the problem is. Make it happen."

 _Awesome_ , he thought sarcastically, since speaking them out loud wouldn't be good for the health of his career. _Thanks for all the help Sir_.


	3. Part 3 - May 2011

**Wednesday May 25**

Gibbs had expected to be alone for this visit but as he approached the cemetery row where she was buried, he saw Ziva crouching on the grass in front of the carved stone bearing Jenny's name. His steps, silent as always and even more cushioned by the thick green carpet, brought him near enough to hear what she was saying without disturbing her. That the conversation might be a private one never occurred to him.

"I miss you Jen," the Israeli said softly, carefully rearranging dried old bouquets to make room for her fresh one of wildflowers. "I miss the woman I laughed with, faced danger with, intimidated with my driving, and shared secrets no one else knew." Ziva's fingers trailed slowly over the etched words.

 _Jennifer Marie Shepard_

 _Director of NCIS_

 _Daughter and Friend_

 _Gone Too Soon_

"You told Gibbs you owed me for saving your life, that is why you brought me to NCIS." Her breath hitched as she fought tears. "We are more than even now Jen. You saved my life with that decision, in ways you can never know. Without your intervention I would be dead now. I would have missed...so much."

She covered her mouth with one hand, struggling to keep her composure, and Gibbs had to stop himself from going to her and interrupting when there was clearly something she needed to get off her chest. "I wish it had not ended this way. You were a good director Jen, you could have been great if you had not let Rene get to you and used us in your vendetta. Sometimes I am still so angry about what you put us through. I wish your friends and people could have been more important than your hate for what he might have done." Ziva wiped at her eyes. "And now there is another in power using Tony to further his own goals. He has been gone only a week but it might as well be a year. I miss my partner, but at least he may come back. You..."

Hanging her head, she let out a breath. "Gibbs...he lost so much when we lost you. I remember every story you ever told about the time the two of you shared, I know you loved him as much as he loved you." Ziva frowned at the silent stone. "Why could you not give him another chance? Why were you so stubborn? If you only knew what you would miss out on, someone caring for you that way..." She trailed off. "But it is too late for regrets and mine are as numerous as yours."

When she seemed to run out of words Gibbs made his way over. "Ziver."

Her head jerked up. "Gibbs."

He gave her a half-smile. "On our own time here kid."

The guilt in her eyes faded and she observed the single red rose he carried. "Would you like me to leave you alone?"

"Not yet." Gibbs studied the headstone. "It turned out well."

Ziva's brow furrowed and she followed his gaze. "You have not come before?"

He knelt beside his daughter. "No. First year I was too angry, the one after we were dealing with losing you." He shrugged. "Never made time I guess. And now I'm here to say goodbye, need to let her go." Gibbs bit his tongue. That part he hadn't meant to share.

She brushed her hands free of grass and dirt, pulling one knee up to her chest. "Will you tell me about this woman who has captured your heart?"

The look on her face, so open and trusting, a genuine desire for him to be happy, loosened his lips more than usual. "Celeste. Been friends for years. We were something more a long time ago, trying to give it another chance." Gibbs sighed. "She's good for me. Like you are, but in a different way. I screwed up the first time, don't want to hurt her again."

Ziva rested her hand on his arm. "You will not."

He barked a laugh. "How do you know?"

"Losing Shannon and Kelly changed you Abba. It made you hard and closed off, determined not to feel that way again. When Kate died you started keeping people closer. After Jenny..." She hesitated, bringing her bottom lip between her teeth while she worked out the words. "You were different when I came back from Israel. I think...realizing how much you still cared for her let you open your heart to love again. That has only been growing stronger since you brought me home. Abby has always been special, but you have allowed the rest of us to become family too. For that I am very thankful."

Gibbs absorbed her comments and slung his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. "Don't ever change Ziver." His lips pressed against her temple. "You're exactly what I need."

Ziva couldn't hold back all the tears and a couple escaped as she leaned into him. Finally she stood, kissing his cheek. "I love you Abba. I will leave you to say goodbye now." She set her hands on his shoulders briefly before walking away and Gibbs steeled himself for what came next.

"Hey Jen..."

 **NCIS**

After leaving Gibbs to his farewell, Ziva returned home and greeted her eager pet at the door. "Shalom chavera sheli. _Would you like to go to the park?_ " (Hello my friend).

In the days since she first spoke to Aunt Nettie and went back to work, Ziva had found herself slipping into Hebrew with increasing frequency once at home. It was a change she didn't fight. The sound of her native tongue brought comfort and Meira had always responded well to the language, starting moments after they met. Avoiding the gang meant she really had no one else to converse with in English outside of NCIS, and it gave her a little bit of distance under the guise of Mossad Ziva who had to pretend every moment of the last time they were separated as well.

Meira danced in a circle at the mention of 'park' and retrieved her leash from the bench. The dog park was a good twenty minute walk away and thankfully busy this time of day. Meira was quick to join the other dogs she knew for some romping and play while Ziva observed quietly from the side. She thought back to earlier in the day. Her husband had been in the office again and they'd taken advantage of a case-less morning to spend their lunch break together. Except when they absolutely had to let go, the couple held hands, determined to keep that connection as long as possible. Tony had kissed her fingers when they finished and Ziva leaned into him for a hug. Seeing him two days in a row had been a treat and she wanted to soak in every moment for as long as they had.

That line of remembering deepened the ever present ache in her chest and she reverted to verb conjugations in other languages to force her mind elsewhere. Eventually Meira came trotting back and happily chased the pink tennis ball her mistress threw over and over. Finally Ziva knelt and rubbed her dog's heaving sides. " _I think you have had enough exercise today, yes?_ Bo, _let us go home_." (Come.)

Fidgety once they got back, Ziva added a brief entry to her Tony journal because she was sure he would be interested in Gibbs' almost girlfriend, and then began wandering around the house. She picked up and set down a few things in different rooms before giving up and accepting the inevitable. There would be no settling tonight unless she was too tired to do anything else. With a quick word for her pet she grabbed her gym bag and headed to Ops. Duke just raised an eyebrow at her when she appeared for the third night in a row but there was nothing Ziva could say so she ignored her trainer and headed into the locker room. A one-sided battle with the punching bag and an hour on the treadmill later the owner approached her, tapping his watch pointedly.

Reluctantly she pulled one earbud out and slowed the machine enough to hear him over the sound of the motor and belt. "What?"

Duke studied her flushed cheeks and the tendrils of hair clinging to her wet skin. "I think it's time you head home."

Ziva scowled at him. "I can make my own decisions."

His hands went to his hips and she had a sinking feeling she was going to lose this round. "Yes, but right now they're not very good ones. How long were you planning to keep this up?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say, 'Until you kick me out,' but Duke would only see that as an invitation. And 'Until you start turning off lights' didn't sound much better, so she shrugged in lieu of answering.

"Then let me help you out with that. You're done."

Though her back came up immediately, Ziva knew that a show of submission was much more likely to get her somewhere. She sighed heavily and looked at the numbers on the screen. "Twenty more minutes? I am in the middle of a program."

His narrowed eyed gaze searched for hidden motives but the mask she'd learned to don as a young teenager showed only what she wanted others to see. At last he nodded. "Okay."

Smiling inside at her small victory, Ziva put her earbud back in and increased her speed again. Luck was on her side when Duke got busy with a new member - giving a tour, explaining the system, filling out forms, accepting payment - just as her twenty minutes was coming to a close. She managed another ten on the bike while the newcomer got things sorted out and was gone before Duke could try and talk to her about her new routine. Just to be contrary, she stopped at the pool on her way home and did twenty laps.

By the time she pulled herself out of the pool, dripping and shaking, she knew she'd pushed too hard but didn't know how to stop. Ziva barely managed to remain standing for a quick shower and fought the fatigue weighing down her eyelids as she drove the remaining few minutes to her house. She fell into bed and was asleep before she finished pulling the blanket up, for once too tired to even dream.

 **NCIS**

 **Thursday May 26**

Ziva woke to the sound of a gunshot and startled herself upright on the futon, clutching Moses to her chest. A moment passed before she remembered to breathe and then she abandoned the bear, tenting her knees and propping her elbows on them as her fingers slid into her hair. Her eyes squeezed closed while her heart cried for the loss she'd brought upon herself. _Ari...ach...I am so sorry. I am so sorry for what was done to you, for what you suffered because of him. I wish it had not ended this way._ (Brother.)

The small digital clock she'd set on an overturned box at the head of the futon read 0430 but despite her bone deep weariness Ziva knew she would not be going back to sleep, not with her brother's blood staining the darkness when she closed her eyes. It was too early even for Meira to be up and about, so she went for her morning run alone, pushing her body past what it wanted to do. Returning sweaty and shaking she took a quick shower, sliced an orange for breakfast, and let Meira out into the yard to do her business.

Ziva beat Gibbs to the office, a rare event, and armed herself with a cup of tea before finishing her report and helping McGee catch up on his stack. Almost an hour later, shortly before seven, she did a coffee and muffin run for everyone including Ducky and Jimmy, leaving little notes to explain the gesture. And since Tony hadn't said he wouldn't be in, she assumed he'd give her notice if he could, there was also a cup for him - French vanilla, a special treat. She ran into him on the elevator coming up from Autopsy and he took a deep breath.

"Is that for me?" he asked, almost pleading. Ziva removed the cup from the holder and handed it over. He took a cautious sip, then a long grateful swallow, hooking his arm around her waist and kissing her neck in thanks. "Really needed this today," he murmured.

She tilted her head. "I am not sure I should be feeding your sugar addiction."

His eyes roamed her hungrily. "I can think of another addiction I have that you could feed."

Ziva was thisclose to flicking the emergency stop switch when the doors slid open and she sighed. "Missed opportunity."

"Maybe next time," her husband said quietly, sounding as despondent as she felt.

After delivering the hot drinks and treats Ziva returned to her desk, the heaviness of her dream settling on her again. Tony, focused on his research, didn't notice something was off until after Gibbs and then McGee arrived and he looked up to greet his co-worker. Tim picked up on her mood too and brought it to their attention when she went to deliver some reports to Vance. "Ziva seems kinda down."

Gibbs resisted the urge to slap some awareness into his agent. "Well yeah McGee, her brother died today."

The air whooshed out of Tim's lungs, "Oh, right," and Tony wanted to bang his head on the desk. How could he have forgotten? He wanted to apologize as soon as she came back but preferred not to bring up the topic in front of everyone. Tony waited and watched for an available opportunity, something that became less likely when they were called out for a case, leaving him behind. Hours passed before he saw his chance when Gibbs left to talk to Ducky. He hit the head, texting Ziva to meet him in the copy room, and waited anxiously for her arrival.

He took her face in his hands as soon as the lock was turned. "I'm sorry."

Her brow furrowed. "Why?"

Tony's gaze dropped. "I forgot what today is."

Ziva's whole body sagged. "It is not always so bad. But I dreamt of his death this morning and the loss feels heavier because I see his body on that floor whenever I shut my eyes."

He pulled her against him. "It kills me that I can't be there when you need me."

She sighed as his mouth found hers. "You are here now."

With the lights still off Ziva began slowly unbuttoning her husband's shirt. Tony caught her hands before she got very far, regret heavy in his tone. "Zi...honey, we can't."

It took her a moment to discern where his thoughts were and colour rose to her cheeks, making her glad he couldn't see the reaction. "Tony, no. I am not trying to seduce you."

He chuckled as her fingers skimmed his chest. "Your actions say otherwise."

She stopped halfway down and laid her hand over his heart, right on his bare skin. Tony's arms went around her waist and Ziva relaxed when as she felt the steady beat under her palm. "This is what I was needing when I woke - your arms holding me and your heartbeat to tell me everything is okay."

Tony swallowed hard, resting his forehead on hers. "You needed me and I wasn't there," he summed up. "I hope this isn't a three strikes and you're out kinda game sweetheart, otherwise I'm screwed."

Her brow furrowed at the baseball reference she only vaguely understood but she knew he felt bad, like he let her down. "I was not there last week when you needed me. What is the difference?"

He sighed. "You didn't leave me this time babe, I'm the one who walked out the door."

Ziva crossed her arms. "Of your own free will of course. You could not wait to leave me behind."

Tony wrinkled his nose at her. "Your sarcasm is noted." Tipping her chin up, he joined their lips for at least the sixth time since they entered the room. "Except for the fact there's no other woman involved this time, I feel the same as before, as if I'm betraying you."

One eyebrow arched. "Are you?"

"Of course not. You're in my thoughts and my heart every minute of the day."

"Then stop taking on undeserved guilt." Her hands framed his face. "I love you Anthony DiNozzo. Please make that what you focus on rather than things not even worth bringing up."

Tony's lips swept across her palm. "How did I get such an amazing, understanding wife?"

She shrugged. "Luck of the sketch I guess."

"Draw," he thought, shaking his head and kissing her again. "Not even close. We worked hard for this life, our marriage. Luck shouldn't get the credit. And you are so much more than that to me."

Ziva sank into his touch, returning the caress for the sheer bliss of feeling his skin on hers. When it ended she slowly rebuttoned his shirt and brushed her lips over his jaw. "I love you."

Gibbs could return at any moment so their time was limited, but Tony still loathed letting her go. "Ani ohev otach," he whispered as she stepped away.

 **NCIS**

Jimmy hadn't wanted to stay, in his words to burden her, after the first couple nights following his experience with Cobb. But Breena gently insisted, especially after he confided one of the lingering effects from what happened. "I can't deal with water right now," her fiancé confessed with a great deal of embarrassment. "Particularly water hitting my face." That was in response to her comment that he had time to grab a shower before their dinner arrived.

Breena didn't bat an eyelash, just kissed his cheek softly and ran him a bath instead. Since she couldn't be in the bathroom with him - her upbringing and his resolve to never make a mistake like with Michelle again kept them from crossing a lot of lines - Breena requested he leave the door cracked open so she could sit on the other side and read one of her favourite books aloud while Jimmy gathered the courage to slowly lower his body into the steaming tub, a far cry from the icy temperature of Cobbs' 'training' method.

The next day, as she knew his high standards for personal hygiene, Breena had rainfall showerheads installed at both of their apartments. Jimmy's adorable confusion eased when she explained that gentle falling drops might be less intimidating than the spray from a normal showerhead. He couldn't find the words, choosing instead to wrap her in his arms with a muttered, "I don't deserve you," leading Breena to try and convince him otherwise without uttering a sound. After that she led him into the bathroom and turned on the water, holding both their hands under the water to show him what she meant.

"Close your eyes," she encouraged, "and think back to last month when we went for a walk in the park and it started to rain." A smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth in response. "But instead of running back to the car you told me just to walk slowly and enjoy it. Then you stopped to kiss me under that big maple tree and I thought it had to be one of the most romantic moments of my life." Breena repeated the action for good measure and cupped his cheek. "I felt like I was in a movie scene and I never wanted it to end." Jimmy's eyes opened and stayed fixed on her. "That's what I want you to remember when you feel the water, okay? It's just rain and I will never be very far away."

He swallowed but literally could not speak all of the gratitude he felt to this wonderful woman he was going to marry. That night he managed his first shower in almost five days without breaking down and crying like a baby as he had after the first attempt on day two.

The days off she managed to wrangle from work ran out by the time a new week started and Breena found it hard not to worry when Jimmy was still sitting on the couch staring into space when she got back, right where she left him that morning and giving every impression he hadn't moved at all. Tuesday night Jimmy tried to put on a brave face when she got home but Breena called him on faking it, which resulted in another crying breakdown as he admitted to feeling like he was drowning in fear and couldn't find his way to the surface. Similar to the first evening she brought him to her apartment, the blonde woman spent all night on the couch holding him and soothing away his nightmares, refusing to let him be ashamed of what he felt as weakness.

By Wednesday he was gone and Breena returned to a note where he'd scribbled, _This isn't fair to you_ , and no trace of the man she loved. When he wouldn't answer her texts or calls she phoned Dr. Mallard to see if he'd gone back to work. But Ducky had neither seen nor heard from his young assistant and the conversation ended with both of them very worried. Despite wanting to rush right over, Breena gave him a day of space before driving to his place after work and letting herself in with her key. Every blind was drawn, the room was in a state of chaos, and Jimmy nowhere to be found. Her concern skyrocketed as she clattered downstairs to the parking garage, breathing a sigh of relief at the sight of her fiancé in the front seat of his vehicle, head hanging down.

Breena knocked on the window, not surprised when he started violently. Closing her eyes briefly, her heart squeezing with compassion, she opened the door and settled in beside him. "What are you doing out here?"

He wouldn't look at her. "I wanted to run away from everything in my head," Jimmy shared haltingly after a long silence. "But after sitting here for hours I realized I had nowhere to go that felt safe and I don't know what to do."

Reaching across the space between them Breena laid her hand over his, feeling the tremours rippling through his body. "I can be somewhere safe," she whispered.

He didn't move, didn't acknowledge her words for an eternity before releasing a shuddering breath and turning his hand over to weave their fingers together. "I don't want you to have to do deal with me like this Bree. It's not fair. I'm such a mess right now, this isn't what you signed up for."

At that Breena's spine stiffened. "Look at me," she said sternly. Warily, with shoulders hunched in anticipation of something bad, he did. She leaned forward. "You listen to me Jimmy Palmer. Less than a year from now we will be saying our vows, vows which include the phrase 'For better or for worse'. I plan to mean them then and I mean them now. Is there some part of this I missed that doesn't fall into one of those categories?"

Jimmy's mouth dropped open, his lips uselessly trying to form words for several seconds before he cleared his throat. "I uh, guess I never thought about it like that before."

She kissed him lightly. "When I say I love you, I mean on bad days as well as good. Remember that, okay?"

Nearly speechless, Jimmy let his ardent kisses do the talking for him as he mumbled, "Thank you", and "I love you", against her mouth.

Now with a mission in mind, Breena coaxed him out of the car and led him outside for his first taste of sunshine in days. She took another long weekend and went with him Monday at lunch, holding Jimmy's hand as he bravely walked into a psychiatrist's office, taking his first step to get out from under the shadow.

Her support over the past days was the only reason Jimmy now stood at the doors to Autopsy, taking a deep breath to calm his nerves as he prepared to enter for the first time in two weeks. He flinched when the doors whooshed open and again at Dr. Mallard's relieved embrace, but that was nothing compared to his accomplishment. Pushing his spare pair of glasses up with one finger, Jimmy swallowed a couple times and managed the ghost of a smile. "Well Doctor, I made it."

 _Gibbs had received a rather concerned call from Ducky soon after the older man said goodnight and left. At first he didn't catch what his friend was saying. "Slow down Duck, what about Palmer?"_

" _He's missing Jethro. Breena told me he was gone when she got home."_

 _The team leader wasn't apt to jump to conclusions. "He probably just needed a break. You know how women hover when they're worried. Some time alone to process things will be good for him."_

 _Ducky sighed. "Mr. Palmer hasn't been back to work in over a week. It's not like him. I'm...I'm troubled by his absence."_

 _Gibbs was silent for a moment, thinking. Eventually he sighed. "Jimmy knows how to ask for help. If we don't hear from him by the end of next week, that'll be a different story. For now let's give him some space."_

 _Dr. Mallard wasn't wholly convinced of that wisdom but conceded that Jimmy wasn't alone if Breena was keeping him close. "Very well Jethro. If you think that's best."_

" _Chin up Duck. The kid's tougher than he looks."_

 _ **I only hope you're right**_ _, the older man thought, hanging up the phone._

He was quite glad to have his friend proven right now and grinned. "Indeed you have Mr. Palmer. It's good to see you my boy. You have been greatly missed."

 **NCIS**

For days after she left Gibbs hadn't been able to get Celeste's words out of his mind. _Jethro, do you think maybe it's time to do something different with Kelly's room? Sacred space...keeps your memories alive that way...but it keeps people out. Where would any of the team stay if they needed a safe place?_

He was glad she'd followed up the gentle suggestion with her declaration that it wouldn't change how she felt if he left the room alone and she wasn't out to mess with the things that were important to him. But she'd definitely shown him a different perspective and he'd lost count of the number of times he'd stopped at the doorway and looked in since that day, still seeing flashes of his daughter playing or reading or doing homework there. With a certain amount of shame Gibbs remembered the way he'd reacted when he found Celeste inside during their marriage. It was the first time he'd ever yelled at her and the things he said while ranting and raving about her invasion of Kelly's space did not reflect well on a man who'd promised to love and cherish her when his heart wasn't sure of anything anymore. Thankfully Celeste was too sweet and caring to hold it against him, but he noticed she'd gone out of her way to avoid even being near the pink room in the remaining months they spent together.

After almost a week of thinking and reminiscing and remembering he came to a decision and the Saturday after Celeste's departure started early in the morning and began cleaning out his daughter's room. It was hard and it was painful to take down everything on the walls - pictures and posters and framed art that Shannon had picked out to compliment the little girl decor. As he brought boxes in and filled them with clothes and books and toys and stuffed animals and the myriad of knick-knacks that eight year olds collect, Gibbs was almost knocked over by the force as waves of memories rushed in and stole his breath.

Pushing past the ache in his heart and soul for missing Kelly, he pressed on and hours later nothing was left but the larger pieces of furniture. Everything in the boxes he couldn't bear to part with was stored on shelves in the basement, the rest he took out and piled in the bed of his truck to be donated to Goodwill. Once that was taken care of he began wrestling furniture down two flights of stairs. The bedframe was dismantled and added to his collection of scrap wood, perhaps to be reused for another purpose later on. Gibbs cleared as much space as possible given what the boat took up and rearranged some things to create an open area and set up the toybox, dresser, and night table on old sheets. Those he planned to strip back to their original wood and stain rather than paint this time. The desk he decided to keep white but wanted to go with an antiquey finish instead.

The beginning of that work had taken him the rest of the afternoon and continued to occupy his time after he left the office the following day. Tuesday had been the sixth anniversary of Kate's death and he made his annual pilgrimage to the rooftop where she died and set a bouquet of flowers on the spot where her blood would forever stain the concrete. Several minutes of silence honoured the passing of a brave agent and a strong woman they still missed, then he returned home and spent the evening drinking bourbon and finishing the staining on the furniture, even getting the old desk done the way he wanted.

Yesterday no other work on the room got done. Once he left the cemetery following his final goodbye to his former partner and love, he couldn't face anything except a jar of amber liquid and a lot of wood therapy in the form of continuing to sand the now finished hull on his boat. But today was a new day and there was work to be done. He changed into old clothes once home from NCIS and began the arduous process of pulling up the old carpet and padding in Kelly's room.

The task was challenging and frustrating but at last he rolled it up and dragged it out to his truck, as the bed of it had now become a collection of things that would eventually end up in the landfill. Next came the tack strip and staples, which took him the rest of the night until he finished and fell onto the couch, fatigued only in the way that came from physical labour. As Gibbs closed his eyes the last thing he saw was an image of Kelly smiling at him and he dreamed of holding her close while they worked together on the boat that should've been hers.

 **NCIS**

 **Friday May 27**

Tony waited until the last possible moment before going over to his wife's desk and crouching down beside her. "I'm gonna be away for a couple days. I just...didn't want you to worry."

Her dark gaze flickered to him. "I will always worry when I do not know where you are."

He heaved a sigh. "I know." Standing up, he cocked his head at her. "I'm actually heading out right now. Walk me to the elevator?"

She nodded and waited while he grabbed his things. They stopped the car between floors and Ziva gave her husband a sweet kiss. "Be safe."

Tony forced a smile. "Do my best." His fingers traced the scar on her neck and since her hair was up he turned her around to see. "The tattoo is almost completely faded, you should get another one put on."

Ziva faced him. "No."

He frowned. "Why?"

"You see strength in me for surviving, what you have missed is that my strength always came from you. I will wait until you are home."

Their mouths aligned and he drank in her love, desperate for every bit he could soak up. "Ti amo piu della mia vita." _I love you more than I love my own life (Italian)._

"Gam ani," Ziva returned softly, setting the elevator in motion once more.

She came back with something from the coffee cart outside as an excuse for being gone but left it untouched and for the rest of the day her eyes never once strayed near Tony's empty desk, something that couldn't help but catch McGee's notice. Especially when she ignored his query about Tony's whereabouts and let Gibbs speculate an answer instead.

Ziva stayed at her desk when the others left and pulled out the 'I love you' card Tony left the first morning with his promise to come back scrawled in his familiar hand. It had sat on her nightstand up until moving into the spare room several days ago and now she carried it with her everywhere. The desire to hear more of her husband's words welled up inside and she wondered if it would be worth the heartache to surround herself with old love letters for the rest of the night.

A flash of memory hit her from the morning Mark and Cassie came to check on her. Mark said he got an email from Tony. Was it possible he sent one to her as well? Quickly standing to make sure she was truly alone on the floor, Ziva began working through the security measures McGee established to access their secret, untraceable email account set up before they were separated following Jenny's death. Delight brought a smile to her face upon seeing one unread email waiting for her and she clicked on it without any hesitation.

 _Sweetheart, leaving our bed this morning was so hard I almost couldn't make myself do it. I just wanted to stay there wrapped around you, holding everything good in my world. I don't know how I'm going to get through an hour without you, let alone days and weeks. You know if I thought there was any other choice or any way out I would've taken it rather than leave, right? Gosh I'm just so afraid you're gonna run out of patience and understanding, get tired of me abandoning you, change the locks, and leave me alone out here to fend for myself in a world that doesn't include you. Sometimes I feel like I deserve it. I really, really, really hope you don't take that option, but I wouldn't blame you if you wanted to._

She could almost hear his sigh before the message continued. _Sorry honey, I know you keep your promises and I know you love me despite all this scrap. I'm just so stupid tired and sad and aching for you with every breath. I didn't get my good morning kiss so nothing is going right. I probably could've woken you up to get it but I hate goodbyes. I don't know how long this is going to take or where I have to go. I don't know when I'll be back at the office or if I will. I hate that I don't have any answers for you, or myself._

Picturing his defeat as he sat in front of a computer screen pouring out his heart made Ziva want to cry. She wondered if he'd shed any tears as he typed. _I love you so much babe. Read it a hundred times if you have to but please, please don't forget, okay? Make sure Meira knows I'm coming back, she didn't look so sure when I left her at the door. I promise I'll play fetch at the dog park as much as she wants as soon as I'm back home with my girls where I belong. I gotta go but know you'll be with me every minute. At hakol bishvili. Always, T_. (You're everything to me).

She read it twice over, then printed the email and devoured her husband's words a third time. Ziva folded the paper carefully and held it to her lips, forcing back the tears that threatened. She couldn't face going home right now and realized only one solution appealed. It was well after the dinner hour when Ziva turned into the long gravel lane that led to the stables in Maryland, but today warranted some time with their horses.

Parking near the office she went inside to sign the log and was greeted by the receptionist Kaye, who seemed surprised to see her. "Hi Ziva. Is it Tony's turn to go see your friends first?" At the woman's furrowed brow she elaborated. "Normally he signs you both in."

Forcing a smile, Ziva nodded in understanding. "It is only me tonight. Tony is...working." Though being a federal agent wasn't a secret per se, not like it had to be with OSP in LA, they were still cautious about who they told. As far as anyone at the stable knew they were a typical suburban couple - he a college professor and she a personal trainer, so working unusual hours didn't often raise too many questions.

"That's too bad," Kaye commented. "Jax will miss seeing him."

"Yes." She pulled out a few dollars, trading the money for horse cookies from the jar on Kaye's desk. "But hopefully a treat will help."

"Have fun!" the woman called after her, not knowing the effort it took for Ziva to put on a good front.

She wandered slowly into the barn where their favourite animals were kept and smiled when a familiar whinny greeted her. Jax, always the most anxious for attention, stretched out his neck towards her while his sister next door waited patiently for admirers to come to her. Ziva offered the cookie as soon as she was in reach and slid her hand along Jax's smooth coat while he crunched it eagerly.

"Hello handsome. Are you behaving yourself today?" The black horse shook his mane and she chuckled. "I thought not. I bet you were the most mischief when you were small too. It is a shame Jules cannot tell me the stories from your early days."

After a final pat she moved to the next stall and leaned her arms on the closed bottom door. "Jules." Her ears perked up and flicked towards the voice. "Will you come say hello motek?" With a soft whicker Jules moved to the door, nudging her nose into Ziva's waiting hand. Ziva fed her the cookie piece by piece and continued speaking quietly. "I needed to see you tonight chavera sheli. Although I knew it was inevitable, I am very sad and lonely with my husband gone. I miss him so very much already and it has only just been two weeks." She leaned her forehead against Jules' solid warmth. "You have always been good for me."

Letting herself into the stall Ziva led the mare out into the hall, clipping on crossties before heading to the tackroom. "We can have a fast ride in the meadow tonight, with no one else around to intimidate."

Jules agreed with a snort and the process began. An hour later they returned to the barn sporting windblown hair and mane but having spent a pleasant time together. Ziva even found a reason to smile, kissing the horse's soft nose after giving her a thorough brushing. "Toda," she whispered quietly, sparing another touch for Jax before tearing herself away.

The drive back to DC was long, she kept a Spanish station playing at low volume on the radio for company, and Ziva was very glad to curl up with Moses and finally call it a night. Today was Day 11 out of an unknown eternity. There was as yet no end to this tunnel.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs' sigh was heavy once they'd said hello. "I wish we didn't need to have this conversation Les." In fact, he wished it so much that instead of calling her after work as planned he'd stalled by taking down the window trim in Kelly's room, removed the quarter round, and took off the closet and room doors in preparation for refinishing the floor, which was the next step in his grand remodel plan. He could've done it while talking to Celeste, but wasn't yet sure how much he wanted her to know. This was his personal mission for the moment and even though sparked by her thoughts, right now it was something he wanted to keep to himself.

Her fingers slid into Lexie's coat. "What conversation is that?"

He rubbed his forehead. "You told me before that for us to really have a chance this time, I'd have to trust you with the stories you'd never heard." His throat closed and he had to swallow past the lump in his throat before it was possible to continue. "You were right, some of them will be easier not to tell face to face."

Celeste wished she was there to hold his hand in hers, but if he already didn't like the topic that gesture wouldn't offer the comfort she hoped to convey. "Which one will tonight be?"

Gibbs closed his eyes, seeing again the stubborn, feisty, red haired and bright eyed young probie who'd been his partner so many years ago. "Jenny," he all but whispered. "Paris."

Her heart fell at his tone, there was so much brokenness behind those two words. "I'm listening Jethro." She wanted to tell him they didn't have to talk about this if it hurt, but deep down she felt she needed to know what had happened to him during that time.

A swallow of bourbon held back the fear he had of sharing, but Gibbs knew he'd soon be switching to tea. He owed her more than getting drunk by the end of the story. "It's something you need to know Les, but if I'm very honest about everything I know the truth is going to hurt you and that's the last thing I want to do."

Celeste had read into what had not been said all those years before and was aware that she would likely be hearing about how he felt for another woman. "I won't hold it against you, whatever the truth may be." _But if you don't hear from me for a few days, it will be because I am still trying to put my heart back together so you can't see how much it really hurts to know someone else was enough when I wanted so badly to be that for you._ Those were things she probably shouldn't ever tell him, what good would come from making him feel guilty again for the way their marriage ended?

He took a minute more to gather his thoughts, pulling out his current carving project while he did so. If he had to talk, may as well get some work done. "Director Shepard…Jenny, was a relatively new agent when I met her." At Celeste's intake of breath he frowned. "What?" He hadn't even gotten to the tough stuff yet.

She closed her eyes. "You never said her first name before. I didn't know that Director Shepard and Jenny were the same person." Though considering the expression on the woman's face when she saw Celeste and Jethro together after the team had been reunited she should've guessed there was history between them. "I'm sorry, go on."

Gibbs would've preferred to skip the next part but a deal was a deal. "I was stationed in the San Diego field office for a brief period of time in '99, you might remember, and one day we were discussing an upcoming assignment in Paris and Agent McCallister asked if I'd ever worked with Jenny Shepard." He cleared his throat. "Les, are you sure you want to hear all of it?" What came next couldn't help but be a blow to her heart.

"It's alright Jethro," Celeste said quietly. "Go ahead and say it." Based on what she saw when he'd returned from Paris, she had a good idea of where it was going.

Taking her at her word, Gibbs continued. "There was instant attraction the moment we laid eyes on each other despite me being several years her senior, which was a good thing considering they were sending us undercover as a couple vacationing in Paris, including time spent out on the town to mask our surveillance work." His mind wandered back in time to the woman who'd been his second great love.

"We didn't last past three days in this tiny, sweltering attic where we had our equipment set up before the tension between us snapped." Gibbs ran a hand through his hair. "I wasn't proud of losing control, I was supposed to be her mentor, the senior agent to show her the ropes in unfamiliar territory." His voice was wistful. "But she made me feel alive again for the first time since losing the girls and I didn't want that to stop."

Glad he wasn't there to see the sadness in her expression from that confession - he and Jenny came seven years after their failed marriage - Celeste wiped her eyes and Gibbs continued. "The brass was pleased with our performance so after Paris we continued being shuffled around Europe to fill needed undercover spots. It was an intense eight months and I thought, foolishly, that she had fallen just as hard for me as I had for her."

His carving knife gouged a little harder than intended. "I proposed and she said no. That knocked me back a bit but I thought she was just scared and needed a little more time." Gibbs' chuckle carried no mirth. "A week later she left me holding the coat I bought her with a Dear John letter in the pocket." Even now the recollection stung. "We caught separate return flights and I was transferred back to DC as soon as all the debriefing was wrapped up and reports filed without ever seeing her again, until I walked into MTAC six years later and met her as the new director."

Celeste was quiet for a long time and Gibbs held his breath waiting for her reaction. "I'm sorry she hurt you Jethro. I understand those years better now."

"I would rather not have shared some of it," he muttered, aware that his feelings for another woman couldn't've been easy to hear.

"But these are the things we need to know about each other, for this second try." She hesitated on her next words. "You're the only man I've ever loved Jethro, but I know that your heart's path has not been nearly as smooth or straight as mine. And someday if you decide I'm the one for you for the rest of our days, that will be everything I need."

Gibbs didn't know how she could be so understanding. "If I was there I'd offer to give you a hug."

Celeste managed a small smile. "If you were here I might let you." Silence reigned on the line between them until she sighed. "I have a confession to make."

His eyebrows rose. "Oh?"

She twisted the phone cord around her finger. "You asked me once why I left so abruptly after Ziva came back the first time and what I told you was the truth, but I never gave you the details. I think I should now."

"I'm listening." And curiosity was getting the better of him.

"There was a night I came to NCIS, I think because you offered a tour finally. We said goodbye at the elevator, you kissed my cheek...and I saw the look on Jenny's face. I didn't know who she was but I could tell there was something between the two of you. And I didn't want to watch it happen again, like I had with Stephanie and Diane, so I left."

A hush followed her revelation and Gibbs let out a long breath. "Never woulda guessed that one." Her words turned over and over in his mind and he frowned. "Why did you keep in touch? Why always let me back in? Eighteen years and I probably hurt you more than once in every single one. Why? What makes me worth your loyalty?"

Celeste only let the question hang in the air a moment before answering, a smile evident in her tone. "Because I love you Jethro, and two decades later I've still never figured out how to stop."

That heartfelt declaration struck him speechless and his voice was rough when he finally managed to get it working. "I'd give anything to hold you right now."

She swallowed. "It would be nice to be held." Celeste interjected a bit of teasing into her next words. "But then you'd be tempted to kiss me and that prize, my friend, awaits a certain response to three little words."

Gibbs forced a chuckle. "Bribery Ms. Casey? I would've thought that beneath you."

Celeste bit back a smirk. "I prefer to think of it as incentive but," solemn sincerity cloaked the rest, "only if you mean it Jethro."

"Trust me Les, I wouldn't do it for any other reason. You deserve better than that."

"I trust you." Celeste paused and let the weight of the conversation pass. "So, what did Abby do today, anything shocking?"

He snorted. "Not by Abby standards, but you should've seen the look on poor McGee's face when he came back upstairs."

She nestled into her favourite chair. "I'm ready."

So Gibbs proceeded to relate the tale, pushing back the enormity of the previous topic to ponder later. Right now his only goal was to keep her on the phone as long as possible.

 **NCIS**

 **Saturday May 28**

"Thank you for coming Gibbs," Leyla said softly as she opened the door.

He kissed her cheek. "Anytime. Where's my girl?"

Amira poked her head out of the family room and moved slowly across the floor into his arms. "Hi Papa Gibbs."

Gibbs lifted her up, brushing a hand down her curls. "How ya doin' sweetheart?"

The little girl shrugged and wrapped her arms around his neck, gripping one of Mish's paws tightly.

Leyla rubbed her daughter's back then took her from Gibbs, nudging her towards her books again. When she was safely in the other room her mother sighed. "She is missing Mike very badly these past few days." Leyla gestured around the room. In the ten days since their belongings had arrived from Mexico she'd turned their apartment into a very nice home, but he took note of several new frames scattered around various surfaces displaying Amira and her grandfather. "She has been begging for more photos of him, she even sleeps with one." The young mother spread her hands. "I do not know how to help her grief."

Gibbs squeezed her shoulder. "We'll get her through this together."

He headed in the direction his goddaughter had gone and lowered himself to the floor beside her, studying the picture she was working on. "Whatcha drawin' honey?"

Amira glanced up before continuing to use the blue crayon she held. "Me and Jaddi on the beach at home." Since Mexico was the only home she'd ever known and everything familiar, all the memories of her grandfather were held there, the longing in her voice made total sense. She pointed to a couple out of proportion figures he suspected were meant to be people. "He's helping me look for seashells."

Uncertain about what to say, words had never been his strong suit (Shannon used to tease him about how he fumbled them and would just kiss her instead to make his point - she always preferred his non-verbal way of handling things), Gibbs just drew his fingers slowly up and down her spine. "You keep any of those seashells Amira Rose?"

The little girl brightened and dropped her crayon. "Wanna see?" At his nod she darted to the other room and came back cradling a pretty blue jar. "These are the bestest ones we found."

Gibbs accepted the offer and carefully shook several out onto the rug, touching them gently. "They're real pretty honey."

Amira picked up a shiny pink shell. "This one is my favourite. It's soft." She chose another with purple stripes. "Jaddi found it when we were swimming." She continued going through the collection, telling him a story to go with each one. Then she cuddled up to his side and held Mish against her chest. "Is Jaddi coming back soon? I miss him."

Lowering his head to hers, Gibbs sighed and tucked her closer against him. "I miss him too sweetie." How did one explain to a four year old child that the man who helped raise her would never be part of her life again? He didn't even know how to explain it to himself.

 **NCIS**

They waited an extra ten minutes just in case, but eventually it became clear that Ziva wasn't coming. McKenna's face showcased her disappointment when they began the meal without an entire couple. "Aunt Ziva and Uncle Tony didn't come to basketball last week either. Why not?"

Cassie and Mark exchanged loaded gazes and he took the lead on this one. "Uncle Tony had to go away for work for awhile and Aunt Ziva misses him." When they shared the news with the rest of the gang they left the kids out of the loop, opting to see how things played out before making them worry.

McKenna crossed her arms. "Well she wouldn't be lonely if she came to see us."

Cassie sighed. Her daughter had a point. Unfortunately though Ziva's logic didn't work the same way. "Maybe we'll see her tomorrow."

Jordan swallowed his bite of cauliflower and cheese sauce. "Do they know how long he's gone?" Mark and Cassie filled the rest of the group in at basketball last week about Tony and Ziva's absence, but they'd been very light on the details.

Mark kept his reply subdued, hoping the children wouldn't overhear. "Sounds indefinite at this point. Ziva's taking it really hard."

Adrian gestured with his fork and the others leaned subtly away. Sometimes his utensils went flying when he talked with his hands during a meal. "We need to find a bunch of ways to keep her busy so she doesn't have as much time to think about him being away."

"The weather is firmly in barbeque season," Darien pointed out. "We could have a couple of those every month."

"Alec's in a summer soccer league, there'll be lots of games to go to."

"I'm pretty sure no one here would argue if all of us girls held a baking day," Allie suggested.

"I can help Aunt Ziva practice playing catch," Ryan interjected, showing them the amigos had been paying close attention despite, but more likely because of, the lowered adult voices. "She said her dad taught her last year but they don't get to do it very often."

 _Her dad?_ Mark mouthed to Cassie.

She shook her head and responded quietly. "Gibbs."

"Aunt Ziva likes swimming," McKenna added, looking at Darien. "Can she use your pool?"

That got sticky because of the rule the gang had about the guys and girls spending time alone, but there was no need to burden the kids with the reasons why. "Sure," Darien grinned. "But only if you guys come along to supervise. And remember we always use the buddy system for swimming, no one ever goes in alone. Is that clear?"

His tone had gone from playful to serious and all three kids nodded solemnly, though they'd heard the warning half a dozen times before. "Yes Uncle Red."

"Good." As much fun as the pool would provide for them this summer, safety was going to be the main priority.

Brent wiped his mouth with a napkin. "Speaking of kids, we," he made a general motion to include the whole group, "have decided that you," he pointed specifically at Mark and Cassie, "need a vacation." Mark's mouth opened to say something but Brent stopped him. "Nope, no argument. On June tenth CJ and I are taking your kids. In return you have to leave DC for an entire weekend and you can have them back Monday after school." Each member of the gang was on a list at both schools the children attended as people approved to pick them up.

Mark and Cassie looked at each other, then everyone else, still a bit stunned. "Wow. Um...okay, sure. Thank you."

Cassie smile brightly. "We haven't been away for a weekend in-"

"Too long," CJ finished. "This is our anniversary gift to you, take it." She'd told her husband months ago that they had to take the kids sometimes to make up for all the occasions Mark and Cassie had willingly added Ryan to their two. They deserved some time away together as much as any other couple. His response was an enthusiastic yes, that it'd be nice to spoil them since Mark and Cassie spent so much of their time looking after everyone else.

"We will, thanks."

Brent was already thinking of a day at the waterpark with all aunts and uncles involved, something that involved water slides and guns, wet happy kids, and lots of laughter all around. That would be good for Ziva too, though if she kept playing the hermit they might be forced to kidnap her to get her to come.

 **NCIS**

One Saturday afternoon Ziva stood in the office staring out the sliding glass doors at her flowerbeds. If Tony was here they would've started working on them at the end of May, but without his company she couldn't bring herself to care. The daffodils, tulips, and daisies had already come up and were growing wild, weeds more plentiful than her beloved flowers clumped among the blooms.

With a sigh she turned away and caught a glimpse of something out the front window. An idea came to mind. If she couldn't face the flowerbeds due to her husband's absence, at least she could turn her attention to the windowboxes. There were three of them altogether and the second summer they lived they lived in the house they had become her pride and joy. Resolved, Ziva squared her shoulders and headed for the garage. With a little looking she found the box of seed envelopes along with bags of bulbs, her garden gloves, and a small trowel. Going back through the house, Ziva invited Meira to join her out front and unhooked the first box to get started.

It felt good to dig her fingers into the soft dirt, the earthy smell was familiar and comforting as she mixed the fertilizer in and added some water to dampen it in preparation for planting. Then she laid the colourful packets side by side and studied their contents carefully. Choosing asters, zinnias, and anemones she held them up to show Meira. " _What do you think?_ " The dog licked her chin, which Ziva took for approval. " _Alright_." Carefully she made little holes in the dirt and shook multiple tiny seeds into each one. A good soaking later and the first box went back on its hooks.

Ziva repeated the process with the second one, offering geraniums, impatiens, and marigolds for Meira's inspection, though she doubted the dog, with her limited colour range perception, truly cared about what went where. She almost didn't do the third box as it went outside their bedroom window and she had no intention of being back in that room without Tony, but in the end couldn't leave the task unfinished. She took particular care with this one, selecting species she knew Tony would enjoy, and hated that he was missing out. He loved this part of spring and summer, working together with her to bring beauty to their yard.

With a sigh she stepped back from the final product and was glad to have it done. Another check of the overgrown beds sparked in her the desire to bring some of their neglected joy inside, so after storing supplies and locating her garden shears the Israeli-American cut a wildflower bouquet to grace the kitchen table. Once arranged it looked lovely, like a breath of fresh air in the quiet house, but Ziva's smile faded almost immediately, fingers still lingering on the delicate blossoms.

"Ahava, I miss you in every moment." She didn't know how to get through the weeks and months to come if the loneliness crushing her soul would be a constant companion. And though later in the evening Ziva discovered another of Tony's precious notes held on her bubble bath bottle with an elastic, it was not a satisfactory substitute for having her husband home.

 **NCIS**

When he finally got back to the house from being at Leyla and Amira's (they'd persuaded him to stay to dinner, since he'd spent most of the afternoon there), Gibbs vacuumed and cleaned the now bare floor in Kelly's room. He measured the space so he'd know how much he needed when it came to certain supplies, got out a hammer and tamped down any raised nails so there was nothing to catch on the sander. Lastly he taped up the heating vents to protect them from the dust that would surely coat everything by this time tomorrow. Then he stood in the middle of the room, hands on his hips, surveying what he'd accomplished so far. There wasn't much to show for all that work yet, but in about a week things would be quite different. And he realized, to some surprise, that it was a difference he was looking forward to. Sometimes, even though it hurt, change was exactly what a person needed to move on.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday May 29**

Though they'd tried their best, even calling in hopes they could encourage her to show up, the gang hadn't been able to get in touch with Ziva. Either she wasn't home, or more likely she was home and ignoring the phone. Cassie warned them about her current mindset but the guys were eternally optimistic and all felt rather let down when they failed at their mission. It brought back to mind the previous week, when Mark and Cassie shared the news that Tony was away for work and his request for them to look after his wife, and how helpless it had made them all feel to realize there was nothing they could do to make the separation easier for Ziva.

But they were also not the type of group to let anything knock them down for long. Mark passed the word that they needed a guys only meeting once the game was over and they all worked together to make that happen. With some careful finessing of wives and kids, the five remaining frat brothers managed to end up alone at the park after another successful basketball practice. They all gathered on a picnic table in the shade of a large, spreading maple tree, waiting for one of them to open the subject while Mark absently rolled the orange sphere between his hands.

At last Adrian dragged a hand across his neck. "That's the third Sunday afternoon Ziva's missed."

"She had a good excuse for the first one," Darien reminded the group, "concussion and all." A decade and a half as a professional athlete had given him his share of such injuries.

"But she should've come last week especially," Jordan argued. "We wanted to support her with D away."

Brent remained thoughtful but elected to keep his thoughts to himself for the moment. Mark sighed. "Tony told me a little of what Ziva's life was like growing up. She's never had anyone to depend on except herself. And she's gotten so much better at being part of the group since...everything that went down that summer, but we've seen this before, how Ziva pulls away when she's dealing with something difficult. The difference is she doesn't have Tony to turn to this time."

Brent took the ball from his friend and spun it idly on the table. "So what's the solution? We can't force her to accept help." He stared solemnly off into the distance. "She should never be forced to do anything ever again." The guys had all guessed at, at least part of, what had been done to hurt Ziva, despite Mark's refusal to divulge any confidences. But they'd never actually spoken of it out loud. Her initial reticence with them and aversion to being touched confirmed suspicions without a word having to be uttered.

Mark let the silence rest briefly. "D asked us to take care of her, we don't need her permission for that."

Brows furrowed and they exchanged momentarily confused glances before Adrian brightened. "We know where their spare key is."

"That opens up some possibilities," Darien agreed. "Except for Jay and Zippy, we've all got a decent amount of free time."

"I can do mornings," Adrian volunteered immediately.

"As soon as school gets out, I'll take my turn," Brent offered.

"I'm sure Cass won't mind sharing me for a few lunch hours," Mark continued. "And some of us," Adrian grinned and tossed the ball at Darien, "are retired and therefore have less restrictions."

Darien stuck his tongue out at his usual partner in crime. "Not like I'm renovating a house or anything."

"Minor details," Adrian teased, dodging out of reach as a precaution. The big guy could put him down hard if he felt like it.

"I can do a drive-by after work, maybe get in a quick chore or two if Ziva's staying late at work," Jordan suggested.

"Sounds like a good plan to me." They were going to start taking care of her whether she liked it or not. Mark stepped back, ending the group meeting. "Who's for ice cream? There's no rule that says the amigos are the only ones who can enjoy it."

"Deal." "I'm in." "Works for me."

"Birthday cake flavour here I come!" Adrian sang out cheerfully, jogging towards the vehicles.

Brent and Jordan followed further behind. "Flicka's going to have her hands full if we send him home on a sugar high."

"She knew what she was getting into," Brent chuckled. "Her life will never be boring."

They both remembered back to a time when fear of losing their effusive comrade ran high. "We wouldn't be the same without him."

"Every team needs a mascot," Darien added, overhearing the conversation while Adrian haggled with Mark to ride shotgun. "We'd be pretty lost without Zippy."

Jordan glanced at his friends. "We're treating him to a double, huh?"

Brent grinned. "You bet." It never hurt to be reminded to cherish loved ones and, no matter his quirks, none of them would trade Adrian for the world.

 **NCIS**

Sunday was a big day in the grand scheme of Gibbs' plan. He'd done his research, talked to the people who knew about these things, and figured out his plan of action. As soon as the hardware store opened he was there to rent an industrial sander to do the floor in Kelly's room. Along with the sander came an edger, lots of sandpaper, and a can of clear satin varnish. He already had the dustmask and earplugs needed and for the next six hours, taking time for a break here and there, he worked hard on completing his task. Pretty much coated in dust by the time he finished, Gibbs indulged in a long hot shower and returned to vacuum the room thoroughly. Supper was a given at that point and he really thought he deserved the steak he pulled off the fireplace grate not too much later. His last step was to put one coat of varnish on the floor before taking the plastic off the vents and turning the heat up to help it dry faster. Gibbs ended the night in a chair on his back porch with a cold bottle in his hand. This was the good life.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday May 30**

On a day when Tony didn't come into work, Gibbs tracked him down to an outdoor shooting range. His agent didn't seem surprised to see him. "How's your vision DiNozzo?"

He glanced briefly to the side. "20/10 Boss, why?"

Gibbs shrugged as Tony loaded his weapon and noticed the former cop's old shoulder holster had made another appearance. A hard habit to break initially, so when he wore it now Gibbs knew something was really bothering his agent. "Oh, Vance told me Jarvis needs your help. Didn't seem too happy about it. Better keep your eyes open."

"Back of my head, as always Boss. Learned from the best."

The older man grunted. "You haven't learned everything. I'da told him to forget it. What do you know about Jarvis?"

 _Like I had a choice_ , Tony thought bitterly. "Clever, shrewd. Seems like he means business." _Which is the only reason I'm doing this._

"You trust him."

Tony snorted. "Don't we have to?" He added another bullet to his clip. "You know, I became a cop because I thought the lines were clear." He put in earplugs. "Good and bad, right and wrong."

Gibbs slid his hand in his pockets. "Lines starting to blur now?" Tony gave a non-committal shrug. "Funny how that happens. You gonna tell me what's on your mind?"

The senior field agent slid his clip into place. "Just doing my job Boss." Gibbs put on earmuffs and watched proudly as all Tony's shots all hit center mass with one through the head. He set the gun down. "For the record, I don't like this one bit. But in case anybody wondered, I didn't get a say. You wanna know more, you're gonna have to go through the man himself."

With only a few words he got Gibbs' instincts humming and also made it clear that, though there was more to say, he wasn't allowed to say it. The situation would bear careful watching. He had a feeling his agent needed someone covering his back.

 **NCIS**

Allie returned from delivering some paperwork to the courthouse for her boss and smiled at the receptionist. "Hi Sandi. Did I miss anything exciting?"

The middle aged woman flipped some reddish-blonde hair over her shoulder. "Nothing earth shattering. But you-know-who is on Line 2 and Brad suddenly recalled an urgent appointment. He rushed out of here like hounds were at his heels."

"Oops," Allie giggled. "He's got to know by now that Mrs. Belladucci doesn't give up so easily."

"He does," Sandi replied dryly. "But he's avoiding the inevitable and leaving me to do his dirty work."

Allie grimaced. "Um, good luck?"

The receptionist rolled her eyes. "Thanks a lot." As her gaze drifted back to the blinking hold light, Sandi noticed her coworker's jewellery and pointed. "Is that new?"

Allie smiled softly and touched the old fashioned watch she wore on a chain. "No. Jordan gave it to me for our anniversary. I love it, but I have to be in kind of an _Anne of Green Gables_ mood to wear it."

Sandi motioned her closer. "May I?"

"Sure."

She lifted the little watch and studied it carefully. "That's a very nice piece. Your husband has good taste."

The younger woman blushed becomingly. "I definitely got one of the good ones."

"Newlyweds," Sandi muttered, casting her gaze heavenward. Then she grinned. "It's too bad that shine isn't catching."

Allie smiled and moved towards the stairs, her fingers again finding her chain. Jordan would be pleased to know someone noticed his gift and she just loved the opportunity to say nice things about her husband to others. He deserved every one.

 **NCIS**

His time at the shooting range in no way killed his frustration, so once back at the apartment Tony took what remained out on his guitar. The instrument had been getting a lot of use since his purchase and more than once a neighbour had banged on the wall in the middle of the night and yelled for him to cut out the racket. As the vice grip around his heart eased slightly, Tony moved from intense soundtrack riffs into the much gentler melody of his song for Ziva. The lyrics kept him company most days when he was running down leads, but try as he might he just couldn't figure out a way to finish it.

Thinking of Ziva was a mistake and he closed the door on those longings and memories before they could take hold. He'd be drowning in misery with no way out if he left them even a crack to get in. Suddenly a trip to the gym seemed in order and Tony chose one about twenty minutes away, doing his best to avoid any sort of routine an enemy could notice. Hopefully between the exertion and pounding music in his ears he could keep the focus away from his wife. There was no other way to cope.

 **NCIS**

That night Gibbs' cracked the windows open in Kelly's room and called Celeste, figuring to pass the time talking while he put the first coat of polyurethane. Not guessing that he was doing anything out of the ordinary, she chatted about the new book she was editing (having finished the one she was working on during her last visit), the fun she and Lexie had playing frisbee at the beach, and how a couple of nice young men took pity on her clear lack of ability and claimed the honour of tossing the bright green disc for her dog.

She sounded so pleased about it that Gibbs' eyes narrowed. "Should I be jealous?"

"That a couple of handsome guys played with Lexie and joined us for ice cream later?" she teased. "I can't think why you would be."

The picture she painted made his heartrate speed up even though he knew it was nothing to get upset about. "You sound kinda taken with them."

Celeste rolled her eyes. "For goodness sakes Jethro, I'm old enough to be their mother! And if you must know, they got to my church and I'm friends with their parents. Honestly, you're such a teenager sometimes!"

Gibbs could tell she wasn't actually mad at him. "I've got a vested interest in your attention."

"Then maybe you'll have to come out here and claim some of it," she suggested lightly.

Her words set him back on his heels as he pondered the implications of doing just that. Choosing not to take it too seriously yet, he resumed his slow, even strokes with the paintbrush on the floor. "Only if you come up with something I can tell the team that doesn't give anything away."

"Oh." Celeste sat back in her chair, phone cord looped around her fingers. "I'll get back to you on that."

Gibbs barked a laugh. "Yeah, thought so."

She rolled her eyes and gazed out the window at a light breeze teasing the palm tree leaves. "That's clearly enough about me. What have you been up to the past few days?"

Since he still wasn't willing to share about his project, Gibbs shared the time he'd spend with Leyla and Amira, having Ziva back to work, Palmer's reappearance, and the brief time he'd spent with Tony. "I don't like it Les. Something's not right there."

Celeste understood his frustration. She was very fond of the team herself. "I wish I had some good advice for you. But classified is classified, the only thing you can do is support him when you have the chance. I'm sure it meant something to him that you would go looking today."

"Rule 15," he grumbled, hating that she was right.

"It would be nice if everyone considered the Gibbs' Rules law," she said lightly. "Always work as a team is one of the most practical."

"Are you saying some of them aren't practical?" He regretted the words the moment they were out of his mouth.

Celeste smirked. "Do you really want me to go there?"

Since she knew the rules almost as well as him, Gibbs conceded the point. "Guess not." He asked what she had planned for supper since it was hours earlier on the West Coast and was pleasantly surprised when they hung up to find that he'd painted himself right out of the doorway and was finished with the first coat. The people at the store were right about the smell though, it was quite strong and he was happy to leave for Leyla and Amira's.

Amira came running to greet him when he walked in the door. "Papa Gibbs! Mama said we're having a sleepover!"

He grinned and kissed her cheek. "Mama's right." He'd called Leyla earlier to explain the barest of details about why he needed to spend the next couple nights away from his house. She'd agreed immediately, pleased that they could help him out for a change. "So, did you make me something for supper?"

The little girl giggled and he was very glad to see the despondency from the other day was nowhere in sight. It might just be a brief reprieve, but he'd take anything that put the sparkle back in her eyes. "No silly. I'm too little to cook."

Leyla brushed her hand over Amira's curls. "But not too little to help. Can you and Papa Gibbs set the table?"

Amira nodded and showed Gibbs where to get the glasses and plates while she carefully counted silverware from the drawer. They were all ready by the time Leyla pulled a steaming glass pan out of the oven and set it on hot pads. They talked of various things during the meal and took a walk afterwards that invariably led them to the park so Gibbs could push his goddaughter on the swings.

"Hold on tight Mish," she instructed her stuffed cat before he started. "Whee!" she called, hair flying around her face as she flew back and forth.

Leyla chuckled. "You are going to wear these swings out habibi, you are on them so often."

Amira swivelled her head to get Gibbs' opinion and he grinned. "Maybe in a couple of years if you still like them so much, but your swings are okay for now Miss Amira."

Almost an hour later they made their way home and Gibbs was requested to do bathtime. It was a special treat for Amira to have him there at night and he indulged her with extra bubble bath, but performing the task brought back memories so close to the surface these days of doing the same thing with his little girl. Afterwards she was dressed in a clean teddy bear nightgown and brought him several books to read before bed. She kept him going with, "Just one more, please Papa?" until Leyla intervened.

"Who would have thought you could be such a softy," she whispered, lifting her daughter into her arms. "Say goodnight to Papa Gibbs. He will be here when you wake up."

Amira kissed him and did as her mother asked, then Leyla and Gibbs passed a pleasant evening over coffee until she excused herself for bed since the four year old tended to rise early. She had already made up the couch for him with sheets, a blanket, and pillow and Gibbs turned in after locking and checking doors and windows. One could never be too careful when there were precious treasures in the apartment that needed to be kept safe.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday May 31**

Since he preferred the secure industrial shredders at NCIS and had failed yesterday at not thinking about or needing his wife, Tony brought in some of the information he'd been using for his assignment to dispose of. A fruitless trip over the weekend in search of his target left him feeling discouraged, so seeing Ziva walking over in a white shirt with a black headband holding her hair back was enough of a boost to make him smile for the first time in days? "Agent David," he acknowledged.

"Very Special Agent DiNozzo. To what do we owe the honour?"

Tony winced internally at the title, wondering if he was in trouble. "Just making use of equipment that turns paper into confetti." She smiled so he adjusted his level of concern for self-preservation from 'watch your back' to 'proceed with caution.' "What have you been up to?"

Ziva shrugged. "Nothing new. Just doing my job."

"Yeah," he said darkly, "same here."

She risked running a hand down his back. "How is it going?"

"Nowhere fast," Tony muttered as they walked back to their desks, not exactly what Ziva was hoping to hear.

He pulled some headphones out of the middle drawer and blew off any collected dust while Ziva observed him quietly. "Will you be traveling soon?"

They were the only two in the bullpen so he was as open as he could be. "Odds are pretty good."

"NCIS...our team has been through a lot," Ziva pointed out, referencing both the loss of Mike and the toll his assignment was taking. "We need some time."

One eyebrow rose. "We as in you and me?"

She looked at him fondly. "Yes."

"Oh, time for what?" Tony asked curiously.

Her expression turned thoughtful. "I am planning on putting in for my vacation soon. Perhaps our...paths will cross."

The hopeful note in her voice, like she'd welcome such an encounter, caught his attention and Tony allowed a small smile. "You never can tell."

Husband and wife shared an intense look and after a moment of thought he scribbled something on a piece of paper, giving her the slightest gesture to join him. She did, slowly, and stood behind him, peering over his shoulder. The note said _Where? I'll be counting the minutes._

Ziva used her finger to write the first three letters of the place she had in mind on his back and Tony tried hard to concentrate on the shapes, but her nearness and touch was a huge distraction so he didn't get it until the second try. Vermont, perfect. He scrawled another line under the first. _Leave the plans to me, details to follow_. Then he scratched out the words, coloured over them in black permanent marker and ripped the sheet into tiny pieces that were deposited in the trash bin.

Moving to sit on the edge of his desk, Ziva spoke quietly. "I know there is not much you are able to say about the investigation," he tensed and she soothed it away by running her thumb over his wrist, "and I am...fine with that. Just look out for yourself, please?"

Tony squeezed her fingers quickly "I will, promise. Having you to come home to is my motivation to be careful." The headphones went on so he could focus and his partner moved back to her desk. He would make reservations later, at an anonymous internet café somewhere no one would think to check for him or trace, right now all he could think were words of thanks for his wife's creativity. After all, assignment or no assignment, staying apart could only be tolerated so long.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs joined the girls for breakfast the next morning, endured Amira's disappointment when she realized he couldn't stay and play all day, and passed a tense several hours at NCIS wondering what Tony was doing in today and why he felt the need to hide behind headphones. It was a relief to return home at a reasonable hour and he tuned the radio to a comfortable station, desiring something to help fill the silence as he lightly sanded the floor and applied a second coat of polyurethane, a process that took two hours this time.

He was tired when he got back to Leyla's and apologized that he hadn't made it for dinner. She waved away his worries and produced a plate that was quickly warmed up for him. She and Amira shared about their day and then Amira trailed Gibbs around like a little shadow while he worked on a few minor things from the fix-it list he and Leyla had compiled after she moved in. He was reminded again of Kelly as Amira asked endless questions about what he was doing and why and insisted on handing him tools even when she didn't know what any were called. He reverted to the method of asking for a colour instead of a tool name and she happily sorted through his toolbox, proudly proclaiming to Mama that she was 'helping' Papa.

Gibbs did bedtime with Amira this time since Leyla did last night and realized the little girl now slept on her own mattress instead of sharing the bed with her mother. When he asked Leyla about when that happened, the young mother smiled faintly. "It does not always last all night, but I am trying to get her used to it. I want her to know she is safe even if she is not next to me. But I cannot say no when she is crying and crawls under the covers with me."

He set a hand on her shoulder. "You and that little girl have both lost a lot Leyla. Don't rush it. Trust me, they are only little for such a short time and you're going to wish these moments back long after they're gone."

Leyla touched his arm. "I had almost forgotten about your daughter. I am sorry Gibbs. Do those memories make it hard to be around Amira?"

His throat tightened. "Some days. But I wouldn't trade the way she looks at me for anything in the world."

"Mike would be so proud of what you are doing for us," the young woman whispered. "Thank you for being our family."

Gibbs kissed her head and couldn't say any more, but when he lay down that night he had a long list of things to be thankful for. Family was on top of the list.

 **NCIS**

That night Tony boarded a plane as one Matt Jensen, since he'd been Josh Tanner on the first trip, and sat in a window seat paid for in cash staring out the scratched plexiglass. What he wouldn't give for a picture of his wife to hold, to look at, to caress with his eyes and fingers and imagine her next to him. But he was determined to keep her out of this as much as possible, such an indulgence would be unacceptable. Instead Tony closed his eyes, rested his head back, and began delving into nearly five years of memories. They would have to keep him company until this blasted mission came to an end.

 _ ***Credit to the short FanFiction story Spray by emypink, which is where Jimmy's fear of water idea came from. Check it out if you have the chance.**_

A/N: Hello everyone. Please don't feel like you have to read what I think will become a bit of a long, rambling author's note. Only if you're interested in why I've been so absent the last few months do you need to continue. I wish I had just one good reason that's prevented me updating, but in truth it has been a lot of little things. Part of it was continued research for WLB and organizing details, which I've only just completed as of this week. So much got added to this part that I wasn't expecting or forgot about and I would've hated to miss all of those scenes by posting when I wasn't sure I had everything that I wanted in the story yet.

Work, which I expected to slow down once I was no longer working an extra job for the summer, continued to be between 55 and 70 hours per week for September, 50-60 hours in October, and 55-65 in November and December. I'm very thankful for the work (and more so because I was able to pay off my second last student loan this month!) but it has meant that there have been some weeks I don't even get the chance to turn on my computer, let alone get any story work done.

I love my readers and I love this story, I promise it's still a priority, but there are so many other things vying for my attention right now that it's hard to make the kind of progress I would like. I wish I could say from now on that I'll be able to update regularly, but I've learned the hard way that it's folly to make any guarantees when it comes to time, completion, or inspiration. This week was some of the first actual writing I've been able to get done in literally months, and that's the only reason I'm posting today. Lord willing I plan to be back with another chapter as soon as it's ready, possibly in February but that's a guess only.

Thank you all for your patience and continued dedication to this story and this series. You guys are such a great encouragement to me. I really appreciate the messages that have been sent checking in on me, it means a lot. And to those who have given up on this story because of the lack of consistency, I'm sorry I wasn't able to be the kind of dependable, regular writer and updater you were hoping for. That's all I ever wanted to be when I started. I've disappointed others and myself and for that I offer my apologies.

I hope you enjoyed this latest installment and that the length in some small way makes up for some of the wait. As always, I remain yours faithfully ~Aliyah

 _Replies:_

 _Debbie - aww...well, thanks. I take tears as a compliment. I'm glad you enjoyed it. I'm not a huge fan of T getting sent on another assignment either but I've committed to following it through. It's going to be a long lonely summer for both of them. I appreciate your patience. I'm working really hard to get all the detail organized but time is going really fast these days. I'm glad you can feel the emotions, that makes me feel like I'm doing something right. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest - thank you :) That's nice to hear. You're very sweet to say that, I'm glad you think so. Out of any TZ stuff I've written on FF, this series is the one I'm most proud of so it's great that people are enjoying it so much. I wish I could promise more regular updates for this part but unfortunately there are few guarantees when writing a story. I'm not sure how long it'll take, but I'll do my best. ~Aliyah_

 _Polly - thank you, it's always nice to know there's people who have been with the story from the beginning. I miss being able to update regularly too, I'm sorry it's been so sporadic lately. It's hard to write this part, with T &Z separated, we're dealing with a lot of unhappy emotions and it's draining to put that on the page. I will update when I can, I'm sorry I can't promise any more than that. But there's still a lot of story left to tell. I'll be here as long as God allows this opportunity. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #2 - thank you, I'm glad you're enjoying it. I will do my best to update when I can but I can't make any promises about dates, I never seem to make those and I don't want to keep disappointing people. I would like to say I will never abandon a story, but I had another one years ago that I wasn't able to continue and I've always been sorry that happened. Rest assured that at the moment I have no plans to leave MIT unfinished. I'll be here working on it as long as God allows the opportunity. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Aliyah_


	4. Part 4 - June 2011

**Wednesday June 1** \- T away from DC

The third coat of polyurethane Gibbs put on the refinished floor of Kelly's room occupied just an hour after work, then he took the very familiar route to Leyla and Amira's for a late dinner. Amira claimed a place on his lap as soon as he sat down and Leyla smiled as she brought a plate to the table. "So this is your last night with us?"

Amira whipped her head around, a frown fixed firmly on her little face. "Papa not going to stay?"

Gibbs kissed her temple. "I can't stay princess, I've got my own house."

"You could live with us. Couldn't he Mama?" she protested.

Leyla put her hand on the little girl's shoulder. "Where would we put him, hmm? There is only enough room here for the two of us."

"As soon as my house doesn't smell so bad Miss Amira, you can come over as often as Mama lets you, okay?"

She considered this information. "When won't your house smell?"

Gibbs chuckled. "A couple weeks honey, after that I'd love to have you over."

"So long?" Amira asked sadly.

"Papa Gibbs can come over here too habibi, do not forget about that."

She sighed. "Okay."

Hugging her tightly, Gibbs whispered into her hair. "I'll never be too far away, don't you worry."

"Perhaps we could come and visit you at work sometime, if things are not busy?" Leyla offered. They needed a change of routine once in awhile and it was good for Amira to having something new to anticipate.

That didn't require any thought. "Sure," he agreed. "And the team would be glad to see you. Tony-" About to reference things his senior field agent would likely do to entertain the little girl, Gibbs suddenly remembered that the class clown was lost to them for an undetermined length of time. He cleared his throat and continued. "Tony will be sorry to miss you. It'll be a treat for everyone else. They've all asked about you," this he directed at Leyla.

She smiled. "They are sweet to care."

Gibbs squeezed her hand. "That's what family does."

 **NCIS**

Their once a week hang out times, though far behind what McGee wished for, were still a highlight for Tim. Tonight instead of dinner and a movie they sat side by side in front of the TV, actively engaged in an epic battle of Mario Kart. "Ha!" Abby cried, throwing up one fist in victory as she crossed the finish line first. "I win!"

McGee scowled playfully at her. "You were having way too much fun with the banana peels."

She stuck her tongue out. "You threw a Koopa shell at me. Fair's fair."

He rolled his eyes. "One shell, one. But how many bananas did you sabotage me with?"

Abby bit her lip. "That's not important." She set down her controller and leaned back on the couch. "I'm so glad you still have the old retro video game systems Tim, I forgot how much fun I used to have with this stuff."

"You know me, I never get rid of my technology." McGee cast a glance to the other side of the room where his first computer was proudly displayed.

"My gain," she said happily, leaning her head on his shoulder.

Such an innocent gesture sped up McGee's heartrate more than was warranted, but he was glad she was getting more comfortable around him again. It had been a long, slow process of finding their groove, he hoped tonight was a bigger step forward. Waiting was not easy.

 **NCIS**

Ziva hung up the phone after talking to Aunt Nettie and sighed. Her aunt wanted her to spend time with the gang because Tony confided in her his fears that she would withdraw from their friends and keep all the hurt to herself, existing like a shadow as she tended to do when things got hard. " _He wants more for you than that Zivaleh_ ," the older woman told her after asking if her niece was indeed doing those very things.

" _He did the same when it was me that left_ ," she refuted. " _He cannot expect me to react any differently_."

Nettie shook her head. " _Things have changed over the years tzipor ktana, they are family now. You could not say the same thing when you were first recalled to Mossad_."

Regardless of her husband's concerns and her aunt's desires, Ziva couldn't face other people right now. Not the day after her husband vanished from their bed and not two weeks later when the hurt continued to linger like it would until his return. It was not in her nature to reach out, nor to respond to other's overtures. That was both a strength and one of her greatest weaknesses. Someday she hoped to overcome it, today she did not care.

A flash of grey on Tony's desk chair caught her eye and she realized he'd left his hoody draped over the back. She had it on before she even thought about standing to retrieve it and buried her hands in the soft material, turning her nose to inhale his scent from the collar. Inside the pocket her fingers encountered a scrap of paper, another of her husband's precious notes. _If you're wearing this because you wish it was me wrapping my arms around you, know that I'm wishing for the same thing. I hope this hoody brings you even a little comfort. I love you Zi - Tony_. He'd drawn a tiny heart beside her name and she pressed her lips to the words.

 _Ahava, I miss you so much._

 **NCIS**

 **Thursday June 2** \- T away from DC

Ziva had taken a morning off to get her third round of laser scar treatments and was still feeling a bit sensitive when she returned to the office. Thankfully that only lasted for half an hour after her appointments, but she still sat in the breakroom with her eyes closed, using a chair back to hold one of the stocked ice packs against the bruise she knew now graced her back.

Gibbs happened around the corner in time to see what his agent was up to and approached with one eyebrow raised. "Lose a fight David?"

Ingrained training kept her from jumping at the unexpected sound of his voice. Ziva considered her response carefully, wording always had to be very precise when one straddled a thin line between truth and lie. In the end she went with strict truth. "No," she said simply, offering no further elaboration despite his expression that clearly desired more details.

When his silent query remained unspoken, he took a seat in front of her. "Gonna tell me?"

It was hard to ignore him when he used that tender tone of a father with her and Ziva sighed, finally looking at him. "It is personal Abba. Please do not push."

The narrowed eyed gaze said he didn't like being told to mind his own business when it came to anything that concerned her health and well-being, but Gibbs backed off and laid a hand on her knee. "You know where to find me." He leaned down to kiss the top of her head and left Ziva fighting tears and wishing she could tell someone the truth.

 **NCIS**

Since he wasn't allowed to walk on the floor in Kelly's room yet, Gibbs headed down to the basement his first night back in the house and got out his measuring tape. Any of the wood he needed for this project that he didn't already own had been previously acquired and now lay in neat stacks on the floor just waiting to be used for their intended purpose. Following his standard 'measure twice, cut once' rule, Gibbs began the process of building the bedframes that would be needed. One was to replace the original he'd taken apart as the main bed, the other two were for something different he'd toyed around with. Enough research had convinced him it was possible and yielded the plans necessary, now all he had to do was the grunt work.

He was a couple hours into the first frame, a queen size, when the phone rang and he answered without looking, focused on the line he was marking to cut a two by four to create extra support under the frame and prevent sagging. "Gibbs."

"I'm waiting for the day when you just say 'Hello Celeste'."

There was a smile in her voice and he chuckled. "Hello Celeste."

"Much better. What did I catch you in the middle of?"

Gibbs frowned at the phone, now on speaker so he could use both hands. "How did you know I was working on something?"

"Because you only bark at the person on the other end of the line that way when you're concentrating too hard to check and see who's calling."

He sat back to consider her observation. "Not sure if I like being predictable."

"Don't consider is predictability then," she suggested. "It's just being known very well."

That caused a smile to tug at his mouth. "I like that better."

"Good." Celeste settled back in her wicker chair on the balcony. "So, what is keeping your attention so well?"

Though he'd thought about it every time they talked, Gibbs still hadn't come to a firm conclusion on whether or not he wanted to let Celeste in on what he was doing. It was a personal quest right now, something he needed to keep to himself. Which suddenly made him under Ziva's reluctance to share a little better. "Just in my basement working with wood Les."

"Lucky wood," she said softly, almost under her breath but not quite. Then she chose to clarify the comment. "I just meant that I'm sure anyone would appreciate being the focus of that kind of rapt attention."

Someday, Gibbs promised silently, his ex-wife would find out just how good he could be at showering her with the attention and affection she'd always deserved. For now though, he left it alone. "How was your day?"

"Busy," Celeste answered, pushing aside the disappointment that came when he didn't follow up. She knew he was just keeping things in the safe zone until he could say what she wanted to hear and she appreciated the caution. But it was hard not to want more. "I pretty much had back to back appointments since I started this morning. It was a relief to sit down to make this call."

Considering that Celeste didn't find it necessary to own a car where she was living right now, taking public transit cluttered up the time she had in between clients and meetings and doing her editing work. "No sitting room on the bus?"

She shook her head. "As bad timing would have it, I must've picked a rush day to be hopping around the city."

"And I don't suppose you continually gave up a seat to any old ladies or moms with little kids?" His ex-wife was notoriously polite, even to her own detriment. But it was one of the things he so admired about her, her willingness to give for others with no thought of herself.

"Now Jethro," Celeste chided gently, "you know I can't report on good deeds. That would take all the meaning out of them."

"That's what I thought. How's my favourite pet?" Changing the subject was easier than coming up with a non-embarrassing way to say she made him proud to know her.

She held the phone out to her dog, laying on the floor beside the bed. "Come say hello Lexie." With the heat Lexie didn't have enough energy or motivation to move, but she did whine in the direction of her mistress. "That's as good as you're going to get today. Poor thing is worn out. I think I'm going to have to turn the air conditioning up a bit. She's having a rough go with the temperature this week."

"Give her an extra biscuit for me, I'm sure that'll help."

Celeste conceded the point. "You're probably right. So, how did your last night go with Leyla and Amira?"

Gibbs filled her in on events since they last spoke and urged her to get some rest because she sounded tired. He got a decent amount done during their conversation, as Celeste didn't question sawing or boring noises since they were consistent with what he'd be using to work on the boat, but there was still a long way to go before he'd see any real progress.

 **NCIS**

 **Friday June 3** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Shawn stood at the edge of the park feeling uncomfortably like a stalker as he watched the beautiful Middle Eastern woman play with her young daughter. He shifted from foot to foot, asking himself for the fiftieth time if this was really a good idea. But the little girl had invited him and this was the third park in the vicinity of their address that he'd come to hoping to run across them.

Taking a deep breath, the man started forward and knew the instant Amira spotted him. Her expression turned apprehensive for a brief moment as if she was trying to place him. Then she lit up and ran over. "Mr. Shawn! You came!"

Shawn knelt down and gave her a gentle smile. "I couldn't turn down an invitation to play at the park." He looked at her hopefully. "Is there a slide?"

Her eyes widened and she nodded, then offered regretfully. "But you might be too big."

He laughed and stood up. "Maybe. But I'll try anyways." Shawn realized Leyla was watching them closely and started towards her. "Hello."

Amira danced delightedly back to her mother. "Look Mama, it's Mr. Shawn!"

A smile tugged at her lips. "I can see habibi."

Shawn slipped his hands in his pockets. "I hope it's okay that I'm here."

Leyla gazed at her daughter. "Look at her face. Of course it is alright."

Amira grabbed his hand, dragging him towards the play structure. "Here's the slide."

Used to making a fool of himself for his nieces, Shawn willingly climbed the ladder and pushed off down the half-tube slide, both hands raised in the air. "Whoo!"

Amira giggled. "You look silly."

"Probably, but I had fun. Want to go down with me?"

She looked at her mother and eagerly clambered up the ladder when she nodded. Shawn sat first and lifted Amira onto his lap, then they slid down together with great big grins on their faces. Another half hour passed that way, Shawn having just as much fun playing as Amira and sharing only brief exchanges with Leyla. At last Leyla stepped into the middle of their fun and snagged Amira's hand.

"It is time for us to go. Can you say thank you to Mr. Shawn for playing with you?"

Amira's expression morphed into one displaying extreme disappointment and she stared at the ground for a moment before looking back to him. "Shukran for playing Mr. Shawn." A thought came and she smiled hopefully. "Can you come back tomorrow?"

"Amira," Leyla said softly but firmly, her tone conveying disapproval.

Shawn shook his head and crouched down to the four year old's level. "It's okay. No sweetie, I'm sorry I can't come back tomorrow. But if it's okay with your mom, I would like to join you here again sometime."

Leyla smiled, answering before Amira could plead with her. "Of course."

He stood and held out his hand to her. "I had fun."

"I appreciate the time you spent with her. Since her father can never do this, it is special that someone else did."

Shawn grinned. "My pleasure." He realized he was still holding her hand and let go, clearing his throat awkwardly. In his pocket he found the solution and held up three candies on sticks. "Sucker?"

Amira gleefully chose a blue one this time and Leyla obligingly took yellow. Shawn unwrapped a green one for himself and nodded at the two of them as he backed away. "Have a lovely afternoon ladies."

"Bye Mr. Shawn!" Amira called before looking up at Leyla. "He's nice Mama."

She smoothed a hand over her daughter's curls. "Yes darling, he is."

"I hope he comes back."

Amira voiced her mother's own thoughts but Leyla wasn't yet prepared to examine them. Amira was her priority always, everything else would have to wait.

 **NCIS**

There was a small wrapped package laying on the front porch when she got home from work and Ziva picked it up gingerly. Of course it was irrational to expect the item to be hazardous, the possibility was very unlikely in DC, but old habits died hard and she examined it from all angles before using her knife to slit the piece of tape and carefully lift the flap. A smile graced her lips as she saw she had nothing to fear, for laying within was a little bouquet of daisies tied together. Attached to the string was a note that read, _How do I love thee, let me count the ways... #952 - I love you for being faithful. Because I know you'll be there when I get home and that's the only reason I can survive another day away from the other half of my heart. Ani ohev otach, always. T_

Ziva touched the dainty white petals gently and went inside, retrieving her painted clay vase from the cupboard and filling it with water. Instead of displaying the flowers on the table as usual, she set them up in the spare room where she could see them before she went to sleep and first thing when she woke up in the morning. It was not the same as having her husband home and would never be able to replace his presence, but knowing he was thinking about her and missing her at least as much as she was thinking about and missing him was something of a comfort. For now it would have to do.

 **NCIS**

 **Saturday June 4** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

After four more days of not seeing her husband Ziva needed a change. She slept in as long as she could to kill time, and upon getting up began to re-make her temporary bed but suddenly stopped and left the blankets in a crumpled heap. As she'd told Tony once, when she first came to DC she had stopped making her bed in rebellion against the military strictness of her life. Now seemed like a good time to fall back on that little bit of defiance. She grabbed something quick for breakfast, took Meira for a long walk, and went to Ops for a run and an intense session with the punching bag. When Duke started shooting looks in her direction she packed up and left before he kicked her out.

Once her hair was blowdried following a shower, Ziva stood in front of the bathroom mirror and stared at her reflection. Unbidden images began to play in her mind's eye - all the times Tony slid his fingers through her hair or played with it while they sat on the couch and watched a movie. The first occasion he had to wash her dark locks in the shower and every one after that, how wavy strands tangled around his hand when he kissed her, the fact that he loved to see the mass of it spread out across their pillows in bed or hanging down her back at the office when they didn't have a crime scene to attend. She closed her eyes and tried to stop the onslaught of memories that related to her husband and her hair.

After that brief moment of weakness Ziva squared her shoulders, gave herself a sharp nod in the mirror, and opened one of the drawers to get out her straightener. It was rarely used now because of time constraints and her husband's oft-repeated comments about loving her hair in its natural state. But she didn't want to look at her reflection every day and see the curls he loved or imagine him sliding his fingers through her wavy mane, such things only made her miss him more. Resolved, Ziva plugged the tool in and got to work. This was the only way she knew to cope.

 **NCIS**

Though before Tony left she would have greatly resented the infringement on their precious weekend alone time, that Saturday afternoon she was very glad for the distraction of a call-in. Despite early suspicions the case turned out to be something rather easily solved and they were all sent home in time for a late supper. No one at the office made a big deal about the change in her hairstyle or even appeared to notice, for that Ziva was grateful. She would not have been able to come up with a sufficient explanation that did not tread too close to their secret and they had long ago resolved not to outright lie about anything in their lives to their co-workers.

Since she knew Duke would not appreciate her presence at Ops for the second time in one day, Ziva settled for a walk to and time at the dog park with Meira instead. Once home she felt a little at loose ends but was soon compelled to find a bite to eat, as her growling stomach demanded some sort of sustenance. Because she needed a distraction to steer clear of what could be an impending pity party, she dug around in the back of a cupboard until she found the hidden box of Trix her husband knew better than to touch.

Ziva had already opened the box and was pouring small colourful spheres into a bowl when she noticed the paper taped on the side right over the rabbit's face. _Kid cereals call for cartoons, you can't have one without the other. I would recommend either Gummi Bears or Tailspin. And if you want to cuddle with Moses on the couch, that's okay too. Don't worry, I'll be happy to take his place at your side as soon as I'm back home for good. I love you - T._ Following her husband's advice she retrieved her teddy bear and put Disc 3 of Gummi Bears into the player. Nothing like sugary cereal and little bouncing bears to lift one's mood even a fraction, but she still wished the place beside her on the couch was filled with more than just a stuffed animal.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday June 5** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

She hadn't wanted to come. Not today, three weeks since her husband had come home with news that couldn't be much worse, the first time without him. But Cassie asked, McKenna begged, Allie said it wasn't the same when she didn't, and Ryan insisted Cody was desperate to spend time with Meira and since she'd missed a few already she reluctantly agreed. So here she was, lying on her stomach on the blanket under the tree, Cassie nearby and McKenna sifting little fingers through her straight dark hair.

"What happened to your curls Aunt Ziva?" the girl asked.

Ziva tilted her head. "Uncle Tony took them with him." McKenna's brow creased and she touched her niece's face. "Not really motek." She sighed. "But it feels that way." Her joy, as well as her heart, were in her husband's absent custody.

Cassie heard her words and touched her friend's shoulder. "We're glad you're here," she said softly. Meira, sticking close to her mistress today rather than wandering with Cody, wiggled closer and nudged Ziva's shoulder. "We're not the only ones concerned about you."

Ziva turned her head to face Cassie. "I am not good company. You will get tired of my apathy long before the reason for it has returned. I do not want to bring everyone down." She felt like a black hole, sucking the life out of the people trying to care about her.

"Families don't abandon you because you don't feel or act like yourself. That's just when you learn that they love you in spite of bad days or weeks or months," Allie shared sagely. "I know your heart's heavy right now Ziva, but please don't push us away."

"I do not know how to stop," she confessed, thinking of what happened between she and Tony after Michael died. "It is all I have ever done."

Cassie and Allie traded glances and McKenna, who didn't understand all of the conversation but knew it was serious, patted Ziva's arm. "I'll be right back."

The ladies watched her jump up and run to the car but Cassie shrugged her shoulders helplessly at Ziva's questioning look. McKenna returned shortly and placed a beautiful white teddy bear whose fur was dotted with a myriad of silver sparkles on the blanket in front of her aunt. "You can borrow my teddy bear, if it would help you feel better. Her name is Tinsel because I got her for Christmas one year."

Ziva regarded her niece in a bit of awe and sat up, rubbing her fingers over one of the girl's ever present pigtails. "That is a very sweet offer motek, thank you."

McKenna smiled. "Everyone should have a teddy bear. They make great friends and they're really good at tears." Those tears now shimmered in the older woman's gaze and the little girl tipped her head to the side. "Will a hug help Aunt Ziva?"

She nodded slowly. "A hug would be wonderful McKenna." She cradled her niece close and held her as long as the child could tolerate.

When McKenna left to play with Alec and Ryan, Ziva glanced around the group, feeling suddenly overwhelmed. She bit her lip. "I have to go."

Cassie reached for her hand. "Please stay."

Ziva shook her head. "I cannot, I am sorry. I need to leave." She grabbed the bear in one hand, snapped her fingers for Meira, and sprinted towards the car like something was after her, bringing the game to a halt as they watched her go.

Mark came off the court for a minute to check in with Cassie. "Hey," he panted, out of breath, "she okay?"

His wife shook her head slowly. "No, she's not."

He stared at the back of the Mini as Ziva drove away. "What are we going to do?"

Cassie crossed her arms. "As much as she'll let us, I guess. But there's no way we can make this better for her."

"No," Mark agreed solemnly. "And that's the hardest part of being family." He sighed. "Sometimes you just have to let them hurt."

 **NCIS**

When Celeste called Gibbs early Sunday afternoon for her and mid-afternoon for him, her ex-husband did something unexpected. "Wanna go for a walk with me?"

Her eyebrows drew together and she looked at the phone, not sure she'd understood. "Pardon?"

He chuckled. "It's a simple question Les. Let's go for a walk."

"You do know we are on opposite sides of the country, right?" Though her heart skipped a beat, foolishly hoping for a grand gesture like him showing up at her door.

"Yeah, so?"

Gibbs' logic, always unshakable, made Celeste laugh. "Alright. Where do you want to go?"

"Pick a place you like, bring Lexie, then tell me what you see and I'll do the same. It'll almost be like going together."

She wiggled bare feet into sandals and whistled for her dog. "Okay," she said a few moments later after switching to an earpiece for her phone to have her hands free, "we're ready."

Gibbs had also grabbed what he needed to leave and stepped out his front door, hearing keys in the lock on her end. "So, where are you headed?"

Celeste moved down the outside flight of steps and into the bright sunshine. "Somewhere along the beach, but not too close to the crowds. Probably one of the trails. And you?"

He chuckled. "Park. Got some pretty scenery for the city."

They made small talk on the way to their destinations, then Lexie had to stop and sniff a flower. "As much as I love DC, I do miss the plant life we get all year round here."

"I have a garden," he blurted out, like it might be a selling point. "There's always room to add more variety."

Celeste debated about what to do with his comment. "Well, DC will always be home, no matter how well I like the West Coast."

Gibbs left it at that for the moment, then found a new topic. "People watching never gets old."

She couldn't help a smile. "Who do you see?"

"Older sister trying to teach the younger how to rollerblade. Little one's all decked out in protective gear, has this stubborn look on her face, keeps waving off her guardian. I don't read lips like Abby but I'm pretty sure she's insisting she can do it herself."

Celeste scanned the area around her. "I've got a young couple wandering towards a bench nearby, arms wrapped around each other. I'd say being in a relationship is still a novelty, she practically has stars in her eyes looking at him. And he can't even take his gaze off her long enough to notice their friends consider them gossip worthy." Lexie yipped as a round disc flew through the air and her mistress shook her head. "Sorry girl, we can't hone in on someone else's frisbee game, that would be rude."

"She still loves it, huh?"

"As much as when I first got her. But it figures. She would pick the one sport I'm completely inept at to be her favourite." Gibbs choked on a laugh and Celeste's eyes narrowed. "Be very careful with your next words Jethro. I can hang up on you at any time."

He cleared his throat. "Les, you are a talented woman in many different ways. But I'm sorry honey, sports have never been on that list." The endearment caught her so off guard she couldn't even find a comeback, but Gibbs didn't seem to notice anything except her silence. He frowned. "Did you hang up on me?"

Celeste knelt down and leaned against her dog's side. "No, I'm still here." For a moment it was almost possible to pretend they were finally where she wanted them to be, but reality slapped her in the face just by a look around. California was still a country away from the man she loved.

"You mad at me?"

Fighting off the melancholy so it didn't show in her voice, she swallowed and braved a smile that could be heard. "Lexie and I were just thinking about getting an ice cream, would you care to join us?"

Feeling like something was the matter but unable to put a finger on it, Gibbs swept his gaze around the park and found an ice cream cart not too far away. "Sounds good to me. What flavour?"

Celeste directed her pet towards the shack on the beach featuring a four foot high cone on top. "Lime sherbert on my end," she answered after checking the choices. "Do they have butter pecan for you?"

Since he hated to be predictable, Gibbs decided to be contrary and pointed at one labeled as coffee flavoured with a ripple of fudge running through it. "Nope. Branching out."

Her eyebrows rose. He very rarely deviated. "Is it coffee flavoured or something with nuts?"

He stopped with the cone halfway to his mouth. "Are you spying on me?"

Triumph reigned in her tone. "I was right!"

Gibbs scowled. "Don't get used to it."

"I won't gloat," she said softly. "But isn't it nice to have people know what you like?"

He got serious in a heartbeat. They'd covered this topic recently but blunt honesty was required this time. "I'm a hard man to know."

"And an even harder one to forget. Are you going to regret letting me have that place Jethro?"

"Nope," Gibbs stated without hesitation. Then he buried the significance a moment later. "Come on Les, we've got some more walking to do."

Celeste agreed and they continued on their separate journeys, but the important moments that had already happened over the course of their conversations stuck long after both made it back home and Gibbs continued to devote time to his project. This was the first day he was allowed back in Kelly's room after finishing the floor and he'd done all the clean up before calling his ex-wife - wiping dust from doorframes, windowsills and closet shelves, using a sponge and warm water to clean dust off the walls, putting the room and closet doors back on. Since he'd been banned for the days before Gibbs left work early on Friday, saw Leyla and Amira for supper, then spent several hours in the basement putting in time with the new bedframes.

Saturday he was able to devote the entire day to that project and finally finished the first frame. Now that the room was clean and ready to be prepped for painting, he took the remaining time left in his evening to get a good start on the next phase of the project and fell into bed, or rather onto the couch, that night feeling worn out in the best way possible. Change was just around the corner and if he read things right with Celeste, that meant more than just the improvements he was making in his house. It meant his whole life was about to get an overhaul too and he needed to be prepared to seize that moment when it came.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday June 6** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Ziva was quite surprised when the phone rang just after she finished getting dressed but the call display number, a feature she and Tony had only recently added, made her smile. "Ahar hatzaharaim tovim Doda." _Good afternoon_.

"Shalom dear one, how are you this morning?"

She shrugged, though she knew her aunt couldn't see the action, and responded in Hebrew. " _Lonely_."

Nettie clucked her tongue and continued in her native language, though it didn't escape her notice that her niece had begun shunning English soon after her husband left on assignment. " _I know Zivi. Did you see your friends yesterday?_ "

Wrinkling her nose, Ziva opened the fridge door and pulled out a jug of orange juice. " _Briefly_." After which she'd spent the rest of the afternoon in Maryland with their horses, trying to get away from the claustrophobic feeling that overcame her around people these days. But that was not something that needed sharing. And regardless of who it was, she didn't like being checked up on.

Sensing her niece's annoyance, Nettie chose a new topic. " _Have you given any more thought to our holiday?_ "

Yes, but only as a way to see her husband far from prying eyes. " _Not much_ ," Ziva admitted. " _I am not particular about the dates. Is there a time that works better for you than others?_ "

Nettie had already consulted her calendar. " _My time is rather flexible darling, what about the beginning of August?_ " It was far away but would give the younger woman something to look forward to as the days without her husband grew darker.

Ziva walked over to the calendar by the door and flipped ahead. " _I could leave on the Saturday and come for a week at least, maybe more._ " It would be so nice to spend some time on the island, away from the stress of DC.

" _Then it's settled_ ," Nettie declared in satisfaction.

" _As soon as I talk with Gibbs, yes_ ," Ziva added her eyes falling on the clock. " _I'm sorry Doda, I must go._ Shalom."

Grabbing a bagel and adding a light layer of jam, she picked up her backpack and hurried out the door. Though in no real danger of being late, it was barely seven and HQ only a twenty minute drive, she had a couple things to do before the others arrived. Gibbs was in the building somewhere, as evidenced by his gun and badge that she checked the drawer for, so Ziva retrieved the necessary paperwork and filled out her request for vacation time.

Everything was ready when the team leader walked in and she handed it to him, saying nothing while he scanned the form. Gibbs looked to her when he finished. "Two weeks? Must be big plans."

She smiled slightly. "I am going to meet my aunt in Europe. We have not seen each other in person for far too long and we need some time together."

Gibbs picked up his pen, scrawling the required signature at the bottom. "She lives in Israel?"

Ziva nodded. "Yes. But for obvious reasons we have chosen another destination for our reunion."

He regarded her seriously. "I have no love lost for the way you've been treated by people with loyalty to that country. But I'm sorry you don't feel welcome at home."

Her next gesture was unexpected but he still managed to return the hug. "But I do feel welcome at home," she whispered, kissing his cheek. "Every day."

Then Ziva was gone for parts unknown and Gibbs stared down at her vacation request form. He really hoped that getting away would put the spark back in her eyes. He didn't like how defeated she looked without some life behind that dark chocolate gaze.

 **NCIS**

 **Wednesday June 8** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

When Ziva got home late that night, she was immediately on guard. There were a square of paper taped to the front door that hadn't been there when she left this morning. And though she and Tony were on superficial polite terms with their neighbours, they didn't know any of them well enough for one to leave a message. With one hand on her gun she slowly approached the portal, scanning the shadows for anything out of the ordinary. It was possible the paper was merely a diversion and someone was waiting nearby for a surprise attack.

She reached the porch with no difficulty and frowned at handwriting she didn't recognize. With another glance to either side she plucked it from the door and quickly turned her back to the house so no one would have the advantage of coming up in her blind spot. Her name was on the front of the note and when she turned it around the first thing Ziva looked for was a signature. The name at the bottom caused a sigh of relief and all the tension gathering in her shoulders drained away.

Shaking her head at the overreaction, Ziva sat down to read what it had to say. _Ryan and I brought Cody over after school and took Meira for a walk. They had a lot of fun chasing each other around the dog park. Since you don't have to worry about going out in the dark now, we hope you'll be able to take some time for yourself tonight. You know we're here if you need anything - Brent_.

The amount of care packed into a few short lines had her blinking rapidly to quell the possibility of tears. Cassie kept insisting they were family but Ziva had forgotten for a little while how seriously they all took that commitment. Even though she wasn't pulling her weight in the group right now they were still thinking about her and taking time to let her know how much she meant. Perhaps the next time they invited her to do something with them - like the impromptu group barbeque Jordan had called to announce yesterday that she'd excused herself from as politely as possible and promptly decided to go riding that night so she had an excuse for her answer (her absence was probably the reason for the note in the first place) - she should work harder at being able to say yes.

 _Replies:_

 _Debbie Sweeney - Thank you, that's very sweet of you to say. I'm glad you appreciate the details, that part is very important to me. The short story I mentioned in my previous author's note was what really got me thinking about Jimmy's trauma in the first place, I admit until then I overlooked what he'd been through. But I was glad for the opportunity to use Breena some more and to make Jimmy a more important part of the story. Gibbs is really amazing me for how much progress he's making and how determined he is to move on with Celeste. To be perfectly honest they weren't supposed to be working towards a relationship this fast. My original plan was to wait until after Season 9 for them to make significant progress, but as usual my characters disregarded what I wanted and did things their own way, lol. I'm grateful they did because I really like having them in this part of the story. Thank you so much for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Debbie Sweeney:You are doing a wonderful job in writing this story. With all the information you put into your story it takes time to write it all out so it makes sense and keeps the story flowing along. Love how you are showing how hard it is for Jimmy after what happened to him. Glad Gibbs is letting go of his past. This is so important so he can move forward in his life._

 _Diana - Thank you, that's nice to hear. I'm glad you've enjoyed the series so far. I never meant for the gap between chapters to be this long, but I feel like someone has put life on fast forward. I blink and I miss whole months. I'm going to endeavour to catch up a bit more this month but still no promises on the next update. I'll just be back as soon as I can. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest - Hi! Thank you, that's so nice of you to say. Well, my friends could tell you I get kind of OCD about the details, which is sometimes what takes so long, so I'm glad you appreciate that part. Oh, thanks! It's kind of a crazy feeling but also really nice to be able to save money now instead of giving it all to the bank! Lol. Thanks for the review! PS. What's your name? I love having a name to put on review replies :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Six Months Home, Ch 78) - Hi :) I'm not sure if you're reading MIT as well as RofS, but I figured I would try to reply to you here. Thank you so much for such a lovely review on an old story, I'm always thrilled to hear that people are still reading stories I worked really hard on. That's such a nice compliment, thank you. And I'm sorry you've experienced some of what Ziva has. Definitely a heavy fear on my heart while writing that story was that I might offend someone who had been through that kind of trauma for real, so your comment means a lot to me. I put so much research into the effect but that's never a guarantee I got it right, I'm very glad to hear that it worked out okay. Realistic is always what I go for (as much as you can in a fictional fan story of course) so I really appreciate that. You're very welcome. And I do hope you have someone in your life who has been as much of an anchor for your healing as Tony was for Ziva's. You will be in my prayers. Thank you again for the review, it meant a lot to me. ~Blessings, Aliyah_


	5. Part 5 - June 2011

_A/N: Just a request for my lovely guest reviewers - would you all be able to leave a name of some sort for when I reply to reviews? It's so much nicer to have a name to put on the replies rather than just 'Guest #1, Guest #2 etc.' Thanks for all your support! Also, I feel like I should warn you that not quite half the chapter is very heavy on background for Mark and Cassie. If the OCs aren't your thing just skip that part and you won't miss anything crucial to the story. Thanks to everyone who is sticking around despite the lack of consistency, you guys keep me going. ~Aliyah_

 **Thursday June 9** \- T NCIS, then away from DC

Driven by concern for Tony and his disdain for being in the dark about anything related to his team, Gibbs made his way down to Autopsy. No one was better at putting puzzles together than Ducky and they had a doozy of one on their hands this time. It almost seemed as if he was expected, because the good doctor started speaking as soon as he walked through the doors. "Something is gnawing at me Jethro and as you know I am not one to gnaw."

"Well shoot Duck, what is it?"

"You, your agents, Abby, even Director Vance - we work together as a cohesive unit. We have no secrets from one another because there cannot be any. That is why we succeed."

Technically that wasn't entirely true. Gibbs could think of many times one or another off that list had withheld something that directly affected their ability to succeed, but he understood the point. Apparently Gibbs was not the only one bothered by not knowing what was going on under the surface. "Well yeah, that's why it works. So?"

Ducky passed a folder across the small table. "I noticed something when I did Agent Levin's autopsy. A small, postmortem incision made with a non-surgical blade."

Gibbs leaned over to take a look. "You saying that someone else cut him other than you?"

"I took the liberty of downloading the autopsy security images from the day that Agent Levin was killed." He used the remote to bring them up on screen, looking like he ought to be in the squadroom collaborating on a case. "Special Agent Barrett asked for time alone with the body so she could say her goodbyes."

Gibbs stared at the pictures of EJ taking something out of Levin's arm. "That's a heck of a goodbye Duck." Dr. Mallard enlarged the image so he could get a better look. "She cut him with her pocketknife."

"Yes. It seems that EJ and you share an affinity for retractable weaponry."

"She taking something out of his arm?" Gibbs felt the need to clarify.

"Yes. That's what astounded me. Agent Levin had a small microchip of some sort embedded in his arm."

The team leader turned to him. "Any idea why?"

"Well that's where my expertise ends and yours begins."

Gibbs sighed. "The timing of DiNozzo's mission could explain it."

Ducky's voice was low, but his words indicated he'd come to the same conclusion. "You said it, not I."

Clapping his friend on the shoulder, Gibbs whirled around and headed for the top floor. He and the director were long overdue for an eyes only conversation. Despite the secretary's best efforts, he barged right in and heard Vance mutter, "Why do I bother having a door?"

He wasted no time. "When were you going to tell me about this thing with DiNozzo?"

Vance leaned his arm on the desk. "I've already told you what I can. Agent DiNozzo is following orders given directly to him by Secretary Jarvis."

Not good enough. "He's my responsibility Leon."

The director had the audacity to correct him. "No, he's my responsibility. And if I'm willing, so are you."

"You didn't look so willing the first time we talked about this." Vance declined to answer and Gibbs planted his hands on the desk. "How well do you know Jarvis?"

Something about his tone seemed to get the man's attention. "I've known Clayton Jarvis for almost twenty years. I've trusted him with my life."

"People change."

"I hope you're not questioning the SecNav's authority. Jarvis can do what he wants, it's his Navy."

Gibbs shook his head once. "It might be his Navy, but it's my team."

The two men locked eyes but neither was willing to back down and Gibbs, feeling like he'd made his point for now, left the way he came.

 **NCIS**

Down in the lab Abby, flanked on either side by Tim and Ziva, was bringing up the security footage from the bullpen. Tony, who was at work today out of the blue but acting very cagey, had caused enough concern lately to warrant the espionage. "He looks tired," the forensic scientist observed sadly.

"It's gotta be stressful, carrying the weight of responsibility all on his own," Tim put in. "Tony feeds off other people. He can't exactly have oned-side campfires." The look Abby shot him said his attempt at humour fell a little flat.

Ziva remained conspicuously silent as she studied her husband, wondering if it would be better to be sitting across from him right now instead of watching him from afar.

As they followed his movements attentively Tony continued to go about his business, concentrating very hard at whatever was on his computer screen. Tim squinted. "Can you see what that is?"

Abby started to zoom in but stopped suddenly. "It's not right. I don't feel comfortable spying on family."

"Sometimes we must cross boundaries to protect those we care about," Ziva shared quietly, wishing she had the nerve to follow him back to his base of operations so she knew if he needed protecting. "Whatever he is into cannot be good or it would not be such a secret. We should prepare ourselves for the unexpected."

The two friends glanced her way and then back at the screen. McGee sighed. "I just hope it doesn't have anything to do with someone we know."

Since she was not supposed to know the details of his assignment, Ziva had no intention of telling what Tony had confided in her. She could only pray that when he found Cade there could be a peaceful resolution. Her husband did not have it in him to be made a hitman.

 **NCIS**

Not too long after the co-workers left the lab, Tony sidled up to Ziva where she was examining a crime scene photo on the plasma screen. "Haven't seen that look in awhile," he murmured, scanning for witnesses before drawing a finger down her straightened, very long hair. Once they married she wore it wavy for him because that was his favourite look and straightening the dark locks became a sign of her mindset, most often reflecting frustration and being upset.

Ziva declined to comment on his observation and instead handed over a folder. "The details. What do you think?"

Expecting her to be asking for his perspective on a case he'd only heard bits and pieces of, Tony opened it to take a look only to find some completely different information. The note was brief, simply the dates she'd booked off for vacation with August 12-14 circled and a question mark beside. Playing his part, Tony nodded. "Looks good. I think you may be onto something." And only because they were still the only ones in the squadroom could he get away with swatting her backside with the folder as he turned away, just to make her smile and think about revenge. "Keep up the good work Agent David."

 **NCIS**

Not satisfied with the non-answer he'd gotten from Vance, Gibbs tracked SecNav down at a function a few hours after their conversation, determined to find out what was going on. He interrupted the man's polite farewells, "Sir."

Jarvis barely glanced at him. "Not now Gibbs. I'm going straight from here to a charity-"

Refusing to be dismissed, the team leader cut him off. "You're using one of my people without my knowledge."

"They're my people too Gibbs."

"Yes sir, but we operate as a team. If you remove one, everything changes."

SecNav finally started paying attention. "Director Vance told me to expect some push-back from you, but you're being borderline disrespectful. You get DiNozzo back when I'm done with him."

It seemed necessary to point out the obvious, risk was a foregone conclusion with any clandestine op. "What if he doesn't make it back?"

Jarvis didn't appreciate the concern. "It seems like you know more about this mission than you should."

"No sir," he confirmed. "I've just been there many times myself."

Their conversation was suspended when a man Jarvis obviously knew stumbled up to him and grasped at his shirt with a crimson stained hand before collapsing on the ground. Gibbs yelled for someone to call an ambulance while he checked the man's pulse and ID - Captain Felix Wright. Pushing away from the agents designated as his protection, SecNav knelt on the other side of the man. "He's a friend."

Gibbs met his eyes. "Well your friend's dead Mr. Secretary." He lifted the man's wrist which bore a bloody cut in the same location as Levin's. "You think that this has anything to do with it?"

The man's stunned expression was his confirmation. Frustrated with the real and present threat and his agent caught in the middle, Gibbs turned away and called in the scene to his team. They arrived sans Tony, but since he wasn't currently an active member and Jarvis had also been on his cell at the same time, the silver-haired man guessed DiNozzo had been sent elsewhere to figure out what the connection was. Director Vance's appearance came as a bit of a surprise but neither he nor Gibbs were caught off guard by the demand that this investigation become their priority.

"We can start with the incision in his arm," Gibbs suggested. "Special Agent Levin had one too."

The look Jarvis threw his agent was highly unimpressed by the introduction of that topic. "There will be no discussion of Captain Wright's death with anyone outside this group. Do I make myself clear?"

"Yes sir," Leon said, speaking for both of them. SecNav tried to intimidate Gibbs but he didn't even acknowledge his superior. Vance moved closer to Gibbs, waiting until the secretary's car pulled away to speak. "On the DL, ask Agents McGee and David to find the thread that links Wright to Levin."

"And the microchip?" Gibbs wanted to know.

Vance sighed. "I wish I knew."

 **NCIS**

That night, when they'd gotten as far as they could in their research for one day, Gibbs went home and dragged himself upstairs to make the final arrangements for his weekend plans. He'd been working diligently after his time at the office that week, putting in a few hours each night in order to see something resembling progress. Monday he put an a country music station and repainted the baseboards freehand where he'd knocked them with the sander, then went down to the basement and got a little more done on the bedframes. Tuesday he painted the windowframes in Kelly's room, took a brief break for something Celeste would not approve of as supper, and headed back down to the basement. Yesterday he repainted all the rest of the trim in the room and still managed to get a bit further on the frames. All in all it had been a productive, if exhausting, week.

As far as working in the room went, this was the lightest day of all. The supplies needed had been located in the garage and basement and were now just waiting to be put to use. After a change of clothes Gibbs carted several armloads of stuff upstairs and proceeded to get ready for the next day - a drop cloth was meticulously laid out in the empty room to cover every inch of the newly redone floor, the ladder was set up in the center for use when doing the space right below the ceiling line, and paint supplies of all kinds were collected neatly in one corner. When everything was ready he checked his watch and, after a sigh that hinted at his desire for bed instead of more physical labour, Gibbs forced himself to make his way downstairs again and continue on the frames where he'd left off the night before. He might be short on sleep in the morning but he'd gone with less and this was important. Nothing except his full effort would be accepted.

 **NCIS**

 **Friday June 10** \- T away from DC

Relatively disturbed by how withdrawn his coworker had been all week, McGee decided to do something about it on Friday. He stopped at her desk when they took a break at noon. "Hey Ziva, can I buy you lunch?"

Surprised at the invitation, she had no time to manufacture a reason not to and realized right away that this was something she wanted to do anyway. Choice made, Ziva smiled at him. "Thank you Tim, that would be nice."

Tim waited while she grabbed her gun and badge and escorted her to the stairwell door, having gradually noticed that except when she was with her partner, Ziva preferred to take the stairs. He thought about leaving the observation alone but was curious enough to risk bringing it up. "Did you have issues with closed spaces before we got stuck in the elevator during the power outage?" She turned a confused expression on him as they descended the third flight and Tim elaborated. "You only ride in the elevator with Tony. Never by yourself or anyone else except maybe Gibbs. So it makes me wonder."

Ziva look a bit chagrined. "I did not realize anyone had noticed." She didn't like admitting to a weakness.

He held the outside door for her. "Maybe I'm the only one. So...?" he prompted several moments later when his question remained unanswered.

Sighing, she reached up to toy with her necklace as they cut through the park. "That incident was only a couple months after I returned. I was having nightmares, flashbacks, but they were unpredictable. Darkness is a trigger, as is feeling trapped. Tony knows how to handle those episodes, he did not have a choice but to learn methods of bringing me back to reality when we were sharing the same living space, but I would not subject anyone else to the experience. I was so thankful there were none that night." Ziva's gaze flickered to him, then focused back on the ground. "I am disoriented when it happens and I can be...violent when I do not know where I am or who I am with. I did not want to hurt you."

"But you didn't mind hurting Tony?" McGee tried to joke, still absorbing the enormity of what she'd shared, regretting that he'd never seen how badly she was struggling.

Pain flashed in her eyes briefly, telling him there was truth in his jest, before she put on a small smile. "Tony gets hazard pay for being my partner. I suppose the trade off is worth it."

Tim put his hand on her back, grateful that it had been many months since she shied away from any touch. "I'm sorry I didn't know," he said sincerely.

Ziva stopped and looked into his face, her fingers fleetingly brushing over his chest. "You did not need to see inside that room again Tim. Once was enough."

"I was unconscious for most of it," he offered with a shrug.

Tears welled in her eyes as she turned away. "Be very grateful for that fact. It could have been so much worse."

And for her it had been. Nothing seemed right to say after that but he couldn't let it go and wrapped her in a hug. "I'm so sorry Ziva," he whispered in a voice choked with emotion. "I wish we'd gotten there sooner."

Only because she was feeling so vulnerable without her husband did Ziva allow the comfort and hug him back. "I am alright Tim. Do not feel bad and remember you brought me home."

He released her and breathed out hard. "Yeah, working on that." Then he stepped back, adopting a more pleasant expression. "What do you feel like for lunch?"

They ended up getting wraps because Tim was trying to eat healthy and Ziva wanted something light, and found a bench near NCIS to sit in the sunshine and enjoy their food. When they finished McGee said he had an errand to run and would see her back upstairs.

Heading for the Caf-Pow machines, he grabbed one of the familiar red cups for his best friend and made his way down to the lab. Abby greeted him at the door, genuinely pleased and surprised at the caffeinated drink. "Thanks Timmy." She sucked up a mouthful and cocked her head to the side. "Is Ziva okay?" His brow furrowed and she waved her hand towards the window. "I was out at the coffee cart earlier to get a muffin and people watch and saw the two of you." Years ago when the Israeli first joined the team and they rubbed each other the wrong way she would've been jealous. Today she only felt concern.

Tim thought about their conversation and nodded. "Yeah, I think so," he said slowly. "I just figured out that she was dealing with a lot on her own after Somalia, more than I think we knew. I wish we could've helped more."

"I don't think she was alone," Abby shared, keeping Ziva's long ago confession to herself. "Remember that she lived with Tony for months after she got back. When Ziva wouldn't let anyone else in he was already there."

"Good point." McGee absently ran his fingers over her hand resting on his arm. "They're a special kind of best friend, huh?"

"Special like us, but without the history," Abby agreed.

His eyebrows rose. "Oh, they have history."

She chuckled, thinking of things they'd speculated over the years about the relationship between their cocky Senior Field Agent and fiery liaison. "Yes, but they never dated."

McGee fell in the open minded category on that one, especially because of the suspension of Rule 12 in the months between Gibbs' retirement and reinstatement. "Some things I guess we'll never know."

 **NCIS**

In what was becoming a habit, Ziva remained after everyone else left for the night and was still at her desk when Gibbs came back from talking to the director about their latest case. He'd been thinking about this weekend since Wednesday and decided now was a good time to bring it up. He'd never been one for giving a lot of advance notice. "Got plans tomorrow David?" he asked, stopping beside her.

Ziva's head came up in surprise and she studied his expression. "No," she answered after a moment, a definite question in her tone.

"Good. My place, 0900. Wear something you won't mind getting dirty."

Confusion coupled with obedience clear in her expression, she agreed with only a little hesitation behind her nod. "Okay." Though Ziva got the feeling her agreement wasn't particularly necessary. He hadn't actually asked a question. She did though, just as he was gathering his things to leave. "Why?"

Gibbs gave her that smug little smile that appeared when he knew something none of the rest of them did. "Come over and you'll see."

He called Celeste after he'd changed and was set up in Kelly's room with a paintbrush and roller. Always glad to hear from him, she filled him in on her day while he began priming the faded pink walls and then suddenly fell silent. Gibbs looked back at the phone to see if it had dropped the call. "Did I lose you Les?"

"No," she replied slowly, "I'm just trying to solve a mystery."

He'd finished doing around the window frames and started rolling primer onto a large open section of wall. "Yeah, what's that?"

"The sounds that I'm hearing don't sound particularly boat-like," Celeste answered after another few seconds. "What are you doing in that old house tonight Jethro?"

Now came the moment of truth and Gibbs found he was ready to tell her a little of what he was working on. "Painting," he said finally.

She waited but more details were not forthcoming. "Are you going to make me guess what you're painting?"

He let out a breath. "Kelly's room," he shared at last.

"Oh." Thoughtful silence stretched out across the line. "Are you okay?"

Gibbs chuckled. "Yeah, I am. Wasn't sure how it would feel, changing things, but I'm managing."

"I'm really proud of you," she offered and it showed in her voice.

He cleared his throat. "You were right about needing a safe place for the team. Thanks for pointing me in the right direction."

"A 'you were right' and 'thanks' in the same conversation?" Her eyebrows jumped up. "Are you sure I'm talking to Leroy Jethro Gibbs?"

"Don't push it lady," he growled, but she'd never been intimidated by his bluster.

"I will treasure these moments," Celeste sighed dreamily, still with a healthy dose of teasing showing. "It's a shame we don't record these talks."

"Les," he ground out, not really annoyed.

"Fine." She dropped the tone and changed positions from leaning on the balcony railing, draping herself across the overstuffed chair in her room instead. "I'm looking for a history lesson from the life of my favourite Marine. Tell me about a boy and his dog in Stillwater and the kind of things they did on lazy summer afternoons when there was no one around to bother them."

Gibbs had never figured out how his ex-wife could strike such a balance between teasing and serious and genuine care, but he responded to it every time. Except when it came to the girls, he'd never denied her the stories from any part of his life. A smile spread across his face and she could hear it all the way in California. "You picked a good one. I hope you're somewhere comfortable, this could take awhile."

"I have all night," she answered brightly. "Tell me."

So he did. Though no one who knew him as 'Boss' would've believed it, for the next couple hours Gibbs took her back decades in time to share the fond memories of his youth. And he realized how much he enjoyed having her know him in ways no one else alive was allowed to. It was something special indeed.

 **NCIS**

There were some days Tony just couldn't make himself go to the gym. Not because he didn't want to work out, after so many months it had become a habit, something he needed to deal with everyday stress, but because being in a fitness facility reminded him too much of Ziva and often made him worry. He'd wonder how hard she was pushing at Ops and if Duke would be able to curtail her usage or be forced to watch that method of handling things play out.

Tonight he couldn't sleep, even after laying on the couch for over an hour, so he gave up and grabbed his gym bag, always packed by the front door. Of the three gyms in the area where one of his aliases was a member, he chose none and instead hunted for a hotel with a twenty-four hour pool, anytime access, and a pay-as-you-go policy. It took longer than expected but Tony finally found what he wanted and went inside, grateful that insomnia assured him of being the only one around that felt like swimming in the middle of the night.

The minute he dove in he realized his mistake. With each stroke of his arms, each lap across the pool, he remembered similar scenes. Ziva needing gentle exercise to accommodate her healing body, Ziva desperate for a distraction after days of consistent nightmares, Ziva determined to get back up to her old endurance, Ziva hovering between surface and bottom where she found peace and quiet and nearly gave him a heart attack testing her ability to hold her breath for not just seconds but minutes. He'd played, won, and lost endless Tetris games from the comfort of a lounge chair while keeping one eye on his wife as she swam and was a fool not to think that just breathing chlorinated air would bring up half a dozen different memories of them together.

Still Tony pressed on - pacing himself, measuring his strokes, taking regular breaths, practicing his flip-turn at the end to push off from a wall and keep going (though he'd never be as graceful as her) - until he made it to his personal best for number of laps. He heaved himself out of the pool, breathing hard and dripping wet, and groped for the towel he'd left within reach. Drying his face, he stared at the ceiling lights reflected off the surface and sighed. Maybe the exertion would put him to sleep, maybe not, but he'd be seeing the same familiar dark eyes in his dreams no matter what - something for which he was grateful despite the ache it caused. Without that he didn't know how he'd make it from one day to the next.

 **NCIS**

 **Saturday June 11** \- T away from DC

In the end Ziva went over because there really hadn't been a suggestion in Gibbs' brusque order. Finding the basement empty was unexpected as she'd assumed that anything they might get dirty doing would be boat related, so she glided silently through the house and followed soft sounds upstairs to Kelly's empty old room. She stood quietly in the doorway, watching as he taped off the ceiling with bright blue strips. Because he was Gibbs he knew she was there without looking but kept his focus on the task. "I woulda let you stay here after Somalia." He pressed another long piece of tape into place. All the priming he'd done freehand but figured precautions weren't a bad idea when involving a second party, no matter how accurate her aim might be. "Why'd you choose DiNozzo?"

Ziva sighed, wondering warily why he would bring that up now, over a year and a half after the fact. "I did not choose Tony, I simply did not disagree with the decision." Which was true. She hardly had the ability to make decisions only two days out of the camp. Gibbs just waited, so she continued. "You and I...were not in a good place. And if I had refused him it would have completely shattered what was left of our partner and friendship. The aftermath was hard but those months were good for us and now we are closer than ever."

"Too close sometimes," Gibbs muttered, sounding every inch the protective father. It wasn't like he hadn't noticed the moping around she'd been doing in her partner's absence. That was part of the reason he'd wanted to see her today.

Her shoulders sagged. "I do not want to fight with you Abba."

"Then don't," he said bluntly, tabling the subject for now. "There's brushes and trays in the corner."

That, too, didn't sound like she had a choice. Rolling up the sleeves of an old dress shirt she'd put on over the weather-appropriate tank top, Ziva used a small metal tool to pry the lid off a paint can and poured a liberal amount in one black plastic tray. Dipping her paintbrush into the thick, sage coloured liquid, she swept a long graceful stroke down the corner of one pristine white wall. All was quiet and still while they worked and Ziva found that focusing on the simple task had a calming effect on her. She wondered why she hadn't thought of an artistic activity before, it might be helpful to have an outlet that did not include physical exertion. Poor Meira was starting to slink into other rooms when her mistress reached for the leash, a sign that perhaps runs had been a bit too long and frequent of late.

"Why are you changing her room?" she asked awhile later, when Gibbs had finished with the painters' tape and was using a roller on a long handle that allowed him to reach from ceiling to floor.

He grunted. "Don't want any of my kids to think they're not welcome here, to feel like it's sacred ground. Any of you needs a place to feel safe, I want you coming to me."

Ziva smiled slightly and crossed the room to kiss his cheek. She had an idea of what it cost to make that kind of sacrifice. And it showed a level of care for them that he seldom displayed. "You make a good father Gibbs. I wish...I hope that somehow Kelly knows what you have done for us."

Gibbs couldn't get any words out, so he slid his arm around her and squeezed briefly, then got back to work. It took them three hours to finish the first coat, at which point they stood back to examine their handiwork. Ziva scrutinized the walls and nodded in satisfaction. "I do not see any missed spots. You chose a good colour." The entire mood of the room was changed and she quite liked the way it felt now.

"Want some iced tea?" Gibbs asked, brushing off her comment.

"Did you make it yourself?"

She clearly remembered the trivia Jackson had shared with her last summer. He nodded. "Mom's recipe."

"Then yes, I would."

Gibbs carried the brushes and rollers downstairs and wrapped them in plastic so they didn't dry out too much in between coats. In the kitchen Ziva got out glasses while he took a pitcher of liquid from the fridge. They sampled the tea and she smiled her approval, then he led the way out to the back deck and dropped into a chair. His help took the matching one and for awhile they simply stared out into the sunny, blue sky day.

"You and Kelly are the same age," he said out of nowhere, catching Ziva off guard.

"Within seven months," she replied softly, having learned his daughter's birthdate during her initial compiling of the dossiers for Ari.

Gibbs swallowed and glanced her direction. "I look at you sometimes and wonder what Kelly would've been like now."

Her smile grew brittle. "I believe you would want her to be much more like Maddie than me."

He sipped his drink. "It's true I would've spared her the agony of your experiences if I could, but what guy wouldn't want his daughter to grow up strong, independent, beautiful, skilled, and brave?"

Tears pricked at the corners of her eyes and Ziva willed them away with great effort. "Is that what you see?" she queried, afraid of what might be reflected on his face.

Gibbs reached over and turned her head towards him, waiting until their eyes met. "That's what I always see in my girl." She couldn't hide the tears this time and had the foolish urge to curl up beside him and soak in enough father love to fill the void for what had always been missing. As if he could read her mind, Gibbs stood and reached for her hand. "C'mere." He led her to the wooden swing hanging on the far side of the porch and tugged her down beside him. Ziva went willingly, leaning against his chest and accepting the comfort of his arm around her. "I love you kid," he whispered roughly and a matching sentiment was mumbled into his shirt.

Several minutes later and with great effort Ziva separated herself from him and struggled to regain her composure. Like understood like and the former Marine gave his ex-soldier the space she needed. Maybe he'd tell her someday that he cherished those moments, infinitely grateful that he could have even a few with this daughter when there'd never been enough with his first.

Somehow they filled the four hours required for drying time - talking a little here and there, wandering around the yard so Ziva could admire and ask about his roses, putting together something simple for a late lunch - and were hard at work again as soon as the clock signaled that enough time had passed. She smiled a bit more freely as afternoon stretched into evening and even laughed once, which Gibbs considered an accomplishment. Time in the sun had helped her relax a lot and it was good to see her acting a bit more normal, the shadow routine was getting kind of old.

He offered to take her out for supper once they finished the second and last coat and she helped with the clean up. Ziva looked down at her outfit and wrinkled her nose, muttering something about not fit for being out in public and how he'd been married enough times he should've known better. Gibbs chuckled and slung an arm around her shoulders, directing her back to the kitchen. "Let's see what we can rustle up here then."

What they found ended up being more of a leftovers buffet, but it was the time spent with each other that really mattered. He pulled her into a hug before she left and Ziva kissed his cheek, thanking him for asking her. "I am honoured."

Gibbs lifted an eyebrow. "For an invitation to work hard and get messy?"

She shook her head, a knowing expression on her face. "You are letting me into their memories. It is a cherished place. Do not belittle the magnitude of what you have offered."

Not at all sure how to respond but grateful she realized the weight this change carried, he simply squeezed her hand. "See you Monday Ziver."

"Laila tov Abba." Then she was gone and he leaned against the doorframe for a long time, watching the place where she'd melted into the shadows and wondering how she'd managed to crawl so deeply into his heart. She was as much a part of him now as she would've been if he'd held her on the day she was born. So for them, and every other member of his team, family was not only made but chosen.

 **NCIS**

A shaft of sunlight shone in through the curtains they'd forgotten to close, falling on his wife's sleeping face. A tender smile claimed his lips as he lifted a lone curl off her cheek. "How did I get so lucky?" he murmured, not intent on disturbing her.

She shifted slightly and gave a contented sigh. "I thought we called it blessed."

He chuckled and leaned closer, brushing a kiss across her skin. "That's right, we do." A hand slid under the covers, caressing her warm, bare back. "I am really enjoying this."

Cassie smirked, squinting one eye open a crack. "I couldn't tell," she remarked dryly. Though it was a rare occasion that they had a whole weekend stretching before them in which clothes could be optional with no little eyes around that might see something they shouldn't.

Mark's mouth found hers and they indulged in the caress while he rubbed his thumb over her rings. "Remember the first time we woke up like this?"

She cleared her throat and finally opened her eyes to look at him. "I remember the first time I realized waking up together was no longer something I'd have to dream about."

He quirked an eyebrow at her. "Are you confessing that I starred in your daydreams when you were a lovestruck schoolgirl Mrs. Reece?"

Cassie rolled her eyes. "You don't have to sound so pleased about the possibility. And I wasn't lovestruck." Her fingers grazed his cheek. "But I had fallen deeply in love with you long before you let me know you felt the same."

"Some people might say only two years together would've been rushing things."

She gave him a 'really?' look. "The only people who can say that are Jordan and Allie and they waited five."

"Oh, I definitely didn't have that much patience." Mark drew his lips over hers again.

"Was it really so intimidating?" Cassie asked. "Surely you knew my answer by that time."

He twirled a curl around his finger. "It's always intimidating thinking about asking that question. Even if you barely let me get the words out before you said yes."

"I could've just said yes when you went down on one knee," she offered. "But that kinda would've taken the fun out of it." Her gaze strayed to the window. "I just wish we'd had more time to enjoy that euphoric stage before life came crashing in."

Mark pulled her a little bit closer at the reminder of what came very shortly on the heels of their engagement and let himself remember what it had been like in the beginning.

 _April 25, 1995_

The phone rang just as Mark was heading back to work. He hesitated but snagged it on the fourth trill, knowing his housemate Andrew wasn't around to take a message. "You've got Mark."

"Mark? Oh good," came his girlfri-fiancee's (that word was still so new just thinking it made him grin) roommate's voice. He'd gotten to know her pretty well over the last few years, especially since she and Cassie has decided to continue living together even after they graduated.

"Hey Mandy, what's up?"

"I wish I knew." Something about her tone set him one edge and the feeling only got worse as she continued. "Cassie just got a call from her dad. I don't know what he said but she looked like the bottom dropped out of her world. She ran out of here before I could get an answer and the expression on her face...I'm worried Mark." Mandy bit her lip. "I was hoping she might be heading your way but I'm not sure what she's up to. Are you busy?"

He was on the verge of being late for his next client but that wasn't his number one priority now. "Don't worry, I'll find her."

"Thanks," she breathed. "Let me know, okay?"

Mark gave a noise of assent and hung up, only to dial the number for the gym and ask them to explain to his client that there'd been a family emergency and he was going to have to cancel. Though he was itching to get out and find Cassie, he took a precious few moments to reschedule the rest of his afternoon, apologizing for the late notice. A few people were annoyed at the sudden change to their schedules but at the mention of 'family emergency' most became very understanding, which he was thankful for.

As soon as that responsibility was taken care of, he grabbed his keys and took off, wracking his brain for where Cassie might've gone. _Please Father, help me. I need to get to Cass. Whatever happened I need to be with her. Please. And hold her in Your arms until I get there._

There were no skating rinks nearby, so that was out. If something was wrong she wouldn't seek people out, which scratched the library or bookstore off her list. He was halfway across the park, heading for the walking trails and a bench they often stopped at when he saw her sitting beneath a huge old willow tree, knees pulled up and face covered by her hands. Breathing a prayer of thanks, Mark made his way over and crouched down, resting a hand on her knee. "Cass?"

Startled, her head came up, but the second she saw him it faded to be replaced with tears rolling down her cheeks. "Mom is sick," she rasped out, voice cracking. Then she buried her head in her arms and sobbed. "She's dying Mark. How could God let this happen?"

Though barely able to understand the muffled words, he heard enough. Easing back beside her, Mark wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "I'm sorry Cass." He rubbed her leg slowly, placing a kiss on her hair every now and then, desperately wishing he could do something about her pain, until the crying finally lessened enough that she could speak.

Cassie slumped against his side. "I don't know what to do."

Yeah, him either. He thought their plans were set, thought he knew how the next year was going to go. Mark had a good job, Cassie was on the verge of starting a really nice one, and their wedding was less than four months away. _God, what are you doing?_ he wondered.

They sat under that tree for hours, sometimes talking but mostly thinking, and Mark spent a great deal of it praying and trying to come up with a new plan for their lives that included this heartbreaking revelation. Eventually he got her to agree to go back to the apartment where a very concerned Mandy awaited them. Mark shared the news when Cassie didn't seem capable of saying it out loud again and the closest thing she'd ever had to a sister led her to the couch and just held her when the tears started all over again.

Feeling helpless, an emotion he was very familiar with because of many events over the last several years - the trouble his little brother had gotten into and everything he was struggling with, when Brent's parent's died at the end of their first year and then Adrian's a year and a half later - Mark glanced around the small room and did the first thing that came to mind: boil water. However this evening turned out, they were going to need tea. That night he fell asleep on the couch with Cassie in his arms and Mandy nearby to act as their chaperone. Cassie hadn't wanted him to let go and he wasn't too keen on the idea either given how vulnerable she seemed, so that was a decent compromise.

He had never experienced waking up with her before and wished to heaven the first time hadn't been like this. All day at work his mind and heart were torn between the training sessions he had with multiple clients and the blonde haired, blue eyed woman twenty minutes away that he loved more than anything else except God. Wrestling over a decision she didn't even know he was planning to make took a lot of energy, but by the end of his shift Mark had the answer he was looking for and, despite the uncertainty, felt a deep peace and knew he'd made the right choice.

Cassie was waiting when Mark walked in the door and before she could even open her mouth he took her face in his hands, kissed her forehead, and whispered, "It's okay Cass, we can go." She burst into tears and he held her until they ran out, then the couple sat down and began to talk about what happened next. With one phone call everything had changed.

 _April 26-June 21_

The day after her father called with the news that her mother had been diagnosed with terminal cancer and had opted not to spend her last days in the hospital, Cassie gave notice at the job she hadn't even started yet and frantically began packing. Less than a week later she moved home to DC and Mark followed two weeks after - it was the longest they'd ever been separated not counting school holidays and made even harder because of the loss she was facing. Long phone calls every night did not take the place of being able to offer a hug when she cried. He stayed in a cheap motel during the time he was job searching and hunting for an apartment. Surprisingly enough his soon to be father in law was the one who helped him look for a place to live, as both Matthew and Mark were trying to allow Cassie whatever time they could with her mother. Hannah was taking great delight in helping her daughter plan a small wedding in a very short period of time and trying hard to ignore the reason it was happening two months earlier than expected.

It took three weeks but he found a small studio apartment he thought would work for them in the price range he figured he could afford. Thankfully Mark had been saving for most of his time in school, and more aggressively so since he graduated and began his job as a personal trainer, so he had something to live off of while everything was up in the air. Cassie moved into the apartment a mere three days after they got the keys and their wedding was set for three days later, on Sunday after church. Saturday morning the guys began arriving - Darien first, then Adrian, Brent, and Tony which meant Mark spent half the day at the airport greeting much missed buddies, with Jordan for company since he lived in the same city.

The frat brothers had a lot of fun catching up and insisted on throwing Mark a modified bachelor party after they went over to Cassie's parents house to greet her and say hello to Matthew and Hannah, whom they'd met at Cassie's graduation the month before. Cassie hugged them all and made them promise to behave before kissing Mark and letting him go. Instead of anything crazy, which they knew he wouldn't be into, the guys took Mark out for blacklight bowling and enjoyed a lot of pizza and alcohol free drinks at the alley. It was very late by the time they left and at this point the fun quieted down and they got to talk seriously about everything that had happened. The support from his friends meant a lot, as did them traveling for the wedding on very little notice because Hannah wanted to see her daughter settled and happy in the time she had left, and Mark felt a little of the burden shift.

The next day, amid much cheering from the former college section, Mark and Cassie were pronounced husband and wife and left that same evening on their honeymoon. At first he thought they'd have to put it off until a later date, but Matthew and Hannah insisted the honeymoon would be their gift and Hannah urged her daughter to enjoy this time with her new husband and not worry about anything else. They spent ten days in Ireland, somewhere Cassie had always wanted to go, and that became the brightest spot of their first year of marriage - pretty much the only time Cassie was focused solely on him and all the new aspects of being married.

 _June 26, 1995-March 1996_

When they got back everything changed. Mark started his new job at one of the DC gyms at the beginning of the final week of June and began the frustrating process of building a clientele from scratch when he needed the financial benefit of a full schedule right away. Thankfully he was filling the place of another trainer going off on maternity leave and she was able to shift some of her clients into his care, mostly men as her female clients were more comfortable with a woman than a man. He took anything he could get and even filled in as maintenance help at the gym to make some extra money.

Cassie, on the other hand, spent almost every waking moment at her parent's house with her mother, desperate to make enough memories to last for the lifetime she'd have to spend without her. Matthew was self-employed and could work or not as he chose so she didn't monopolize all Hannah's time, wanting her parents to have the quality time they needed together too. But when she wasn't with her mom she was thinking about her, which left very little attention for her new husband. Sometimes it seemed to Mark the only time they were together was Sunday mornings at church when they sat side by side and that wasn't nearly enough. Cassie cooked with her mom often and brought home leftovers so he wasn't completely forgotten, but that wasn't the same as being with her.

Putting her creative talents to good use, Cassie started making memory books with Hannah - taking pictures of everything they did and scrapbooking them with captions so there would be something left to hold onto when their time ran out. They shopped together and got pretty original about decorating the little apartment on a fairly tight budget. They watched movies, took walks, played duets on the piano and with other instruments (clearly her musical talent was inherited), and even though she'd given it up a couple years ago Cassie gamely laced up her skates again and used the private ice time her father paid for so Hannah could watch her daughter doing something she loved with her whole being.

The months slipped past and before he knew it Christmas had come. By mutual agreement the frat brothers all met to continue their tradition of watching _Enemy of the State_ together, meeting at Brent's place since he was more in the middle between all of them. Cassie urged him to go and Mark felt dismissed rather than supported, he was getting tired of being understanding and coming in last place in line for Cassie's affection. But rather than say something he kept his mouth shut, enjoyed the time with the guys, and buried himself even more in work as the new year began.

At that point Cassie began to notice that he'd withdrawn from her but she hadn't the time or energy to begin making up the distance. Until now Hannah hadn't shown many symptoms of the deadly disease that had put a countdown on her life, but the cancer began making itself known now and she often had to stay in bed because of the pain. That made Cassie even more determined to cherish the time they had left and for the rest of the year the only time she and Mark spent truly alone together was on a half-hearted Valentine's date and the rather stilted celebration of their first anniversary.

It was during that time Tony moved from Illinois to Pennsylvania to take a job with Philly PD and occasionally he and Jordan and Mark, sometimes Darien depending on his schedule, would get together to play some basketball as a stress reliever. Later Mark would say that was one of the only things that saved his sanity in the midst of a barely begun marriage that was already showing serious cracks in its foundation.

 _Summer-October_

Hannah continued getting worse over the summer and Cassie frequently came home in tears and sought comfort Mark was reluctant to give when he was getting nothing in return. But he could never deny her for long and she was his wife and she was hurting so he offered his arms as her safe place and wondered what it would be like to love a parent that much. His father had no use for him, especially when he'd chosen a career outside the military. And his mom, though she loved him, felt compelled to support her husband and therefore mother and son had rarely spent time together after he left for college.

It was a relief, as well as a crushing sorrow, when Hannah died in her sleep one Thursday night early in October. Cassie was there when it happened and Mark arrived shortly after, doing his best to offer comfort to both wife and father in law while grieving himself. Hannah may have been more focused on her daughter during her last days, but she made it clear that she greatly admired his hard work and sacrifice and he'd grown to love the woman who gave life to the wonderful girl he fell in love with. The funeral was planned quickly and by Saturday the frat brothers had all assembled again, this time for a much less joyous occasion.

They decided on a group sleepover at Cassie and Mark's place and were all very concerned to find her just curled up on the couch staring at nothing when they arrived. Darien took charge, bringing in bags of supplies and appropriating the kitchen to bake them some comfort food. Knowing her love for tea and how she turned to it in tough times, Jordan boiled the kettle and got out everything needed to make it right. They'd gotten lots of practice at The Pad making Cassie's tea the way she liked it. Brent just sat with her, knowing tenfold over how that grief felt, and Mark wasn't even a little jealous when she leaned her head on his shoulder and linked arms with him while he sat on the other side and held her hand. In that moment she simply needed someone who understood and one of the men she'd designated as her brothers filled that bill. Tony came over with a smile and a joke, offering a handful of funny, sappy, happy movies he'd selected from his collection to hopefully make her laugh.

Adrian, always a little out of place even with them, desperately looked for a way to help and hit upon what he believed was a genius idea. He snagged Jordan to assist since he knew people in the area and they rushed off for awhile without informing anyone of their plans. A little over an hour later they returned, Adrian cradling a small ball of fluff in his arms. They'd found a friend of the family who'd recently gotten a new puppy and had consented to them borrowing it for the evening. Adrian just knew that something soft and warm and alive was bound to help her grief. The puppy was the first thing that made Cassie smile, then laugh, and that was worth the six of them arguing over who was going to clean up after the little beast when it did something slightly less than cute.

 _October 1996-January 1997_

After the funeral life didn't change for the better, it barely changed at all. Cassie withdrew from everyone and everything and spent days in bed as she drowned in the grief of losing her mother. Matthew couldn't reach her and he was struggling deeply with his own sorrow, Mark couldn't get through and began to feel all alone in an apartment and a marriage ideally made for two. She stayed that way for over a month and eventually he sought help from their pastor, Jason, because he just couldn't take it anymore.

Sitting in the pastor's office one day Mark bowed his head and clasped his hands. "If we weren't Christians and I didn't already believe marriage is 'for better or worse' with no escape clause, I think it would already be over." That was the first time he'd admitted his despair out loud and he cringed at how it sounded to his ears.

Pastor Jason lay a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I know it doesn't seem that way right now, but the strength of your faith shows in what you just said, and I promise that commitment is going to be what saves you and Cassie both."

The counseling sessions between the two men went on for a few weeks before Pastor Jason suggested his wife Stephanie as an outlet and mentor for Cassie. Though reluctant at first since she was barely up to getting dressed let alone being with other people, Cassie eventually gave in to her husband's request because she could see the life they'd wanted and looked forward to falling down around them and knew she had to take responsibility for her part in the destruction. After a couple of months, endless talking and tears and prayers, Cassie vowed that she would do her best to shake off the grief and start to get involved in her life and marriage again.

 _January 1997-Fall 1999_

At the beginning of the new year she applied for and was offered the job of piano teacher at a local music school. It was a far cry from what she'd left behind in Ohio, but it was a start and she'd come to realize how unfair she'd been expecting her husband to shoulder the load of providing when she was perfectly capable of working instead of wallowing. The next several months were spent in regular counseling with Mark and Cassie seeing Pastor Jason and Stephanie at least once a week and checking in over coffee more often than that if needed.

The healing process for their marriage had begun and they were well past their second anniversary before the hurts of that first eighteen months really started to fade. The gang, none of whom knew the full breadth of the struggle their now-group leaders had faced early on, thought their love had come from a fairy tale book. In reality it was a hard fought for and won victory - the lessons from which Mark and Cassie wouldn't change for the world.

That was also the year Cassie decided they weren't just going to be friends with his frat brothers, but family. Having lost a huge significant part of her family, she knew there wasn't any time to waste and began planning ways for the guys to all get together and catch up with each other a few times a year - including their beloved Christmas movie tradition. Still concerned for and protective of Adrian years after his bout with drugs and depression, Cassie arranged with the guys to keep tabs on him and had them all on a schedule to call every week, but never in exactly the same order so he hopefully wouldn't catch on. She kept track of birthdays and the challenging anniversaries of loss and promotions and moves and rightfully earned her new nickname alongside Mark's Papa Smurf.

She and Mark were there when Jordan decided to get his own place and helped him move, the same with Darien when he was tired of being recognized where he was living and decided to give DC a try for some anonymity. They supported Tony when he moved to Baltimore PD and celebrated with him the following year when he was promoted to detective. They had to skip _Enemy of the State_ a couple years later because Cassie was pregnant with their first child, understandably concerned about miscarriage given her mom's history, and so sick Mark didn't want to leave her. Despite how miserable she felt, their baby was a blessing. Almost a year had passed between them starting to talk about children and the pregnancy, leaving Cassie worried about their chances as the months continued to pass and nothing had happened.

 _Summer 2000-Spring 2004_

The guys all showed up when Alec Spencer Reece was born that summer so they could be there for his dedication, for some of them the first time they'd stepped foot in a church for many years. Then Tony, who was supposed to be joining the ranks of matrimonial bliss, instead was abandoned by his fiancee and evaded all their attempts to connect with him. The other five still gathered for the movie that year but there was a big hole without the cocky jokester who meant so much to them.

Cassie got pregnant that summer with baby number two and for awhile things were too busy for her to keep up her role as group mom, as she began to prepare for live with an active two year old, new baby, and two kids in diapers. Then McKenna Quinn was born and the whole group, even Tony, showed up for her dedication. Tony sort of apologized for falling off the face of the planet and said he would try harder to stay in touch, but they could all see how deeply Wendy's leaving had affected him. Allie appeared in their lives shortly after that and she and Cassie were good friends by the summer. She became a staple in their lives and Mark was glad his wife could have a best friend again - she and Mandy had lost touch after they moved back to DC. The following spring Mark and Cassie introduced Allie to Jordan and he spent the next year trying to convince her to give serious thought to dating him.

 _Winter 2005-Spring 2008_

After drifting apart more than they realized Mark heard through the frat brother grapevine that Brent had broken up with his longtime girlfriend Charlotte and Cassie encouraged him to go spend some time with his friend and be there for support. Mark snagged Jordan to help and, after seeing the state the man was in, called the first ever brother's emergency gathering to help pull him through. As a result of the care they showed and a yearning to be around more of that on a regular basis Brent moved to DC in the summer and became the next in the line up of 'Frat Brothers Take DC'. They finally got back into their movie tradition that Christmas and one of them jokingly suggested that Adrian, the final holdout, should move to the capital and make getting together that much easier. They were all still a little surprised a year later when he did just that and so began the process of learning to be a family.

"I wouldn't change our history," Cassie broke into his thoughts after he'd been quiet for awhile. Mark looked at her with a bit of a frown so she elaborated. "I mean, I would definitely like to change some things about those first couple years, but do you think we'd be where we are today if we hadn't weathered those struggles initially?"

Mark didn't want to think of how different things might've turned out if they hadn't learned tough lessons and faced some really hard truths about themselves before their marriage got past what should've been the newlywed stage. "I don't know Cass," he whispered against her skin. "But for the grace of God..."

"I know." She smiled and nudged his nose with hers. "Now here we are alone for the weekend, the kids are with Brent and CJ and probably having a marvelous time, and I think we should do that same."

Mark grinned, the kind that told her he appreciated her taking the initiative. "Here I was planning a romantic breakfast and maybe a walk, and all you want to do is take advantage of me?" He shook his head. "Tsk, tsk."

One eyebrow arched. "Did I just hear you turn down the opportunity to keep me naked in bed with you?" She made as if to move away but one of her husband's strong arms shot out to grab her and pull her back to his side.

"Not a chance Cass," he murmured. "I will always choose us over anything else."

She stopped trying to get away and encircled his neck with her arms. "Good. Because I didn't choose you enough when we started this marriage thing, but I want to take every chance I have to do so now."

Mark dipped his head and kissed her so thoroughly she forgot to breathe. They only left their bed once for the rest of the day.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday June 12** \- T away from DC

Gibbs was up before six with Kelly on his mind, as she'd been frequently since he started clearing out old ghosts. The dream was vivid, of him and Shannon and Kelly on the couch watching a movie and her innocent observation _'I saw you and Mommy kissing'_ , as if it was a great secret. Back when he'd been whole, when his family had been whole, and Gibbs smiled and laughed so much more freely with infinite reasons to do so.

He saw up slowly and rubbed his face. Maybe Celeste had a point about replacing the couch and he was tempted to go out and buy a new one today. But when he thought about sitting with her on a different couch, smiling and laughing and holding her close, kissing her and having no reason to stop, the ache of longing hit him square in the gut. When she was part of his life again, a permanent part, they could pick out furniture together. Gibbs glanced around the room. And new paint colours. His life and house were both going to get a makeover as soon as he could work up the courage to say those three little words back to her. And, for the first time since his first wife died, mean them with his whole heart.

Several minutes later coffee made the early hour more bearable and he shuffled slowly down to the basement to put in time on his project. After a couple hours of manual labour Gibbs had finished the main bedframe. He ran a hand over the silky smooth wood and envisioned where it would go in the newly redone room. There was still a lot to get done, so he began the next phase and was so deep into it that he didn't notice the presence of another until she spoke from halfway down the stairs where she'd been watching him.

"This is why most people have a functioning doorbell."

He jumped at the unexpected sound, cracking his elbow on a slab of wood. Scowling, Gibbs rubbed the spot carefully. "Most people don't have to worry about ex-assassins sneaking into their house. What're you doing here David?" Surprise made him more gruff than yesterday. Marines did not like being caught off guard.

Ziva stood up and came the rest of the way down. "I came by to inspect our work. The walls look good."

That she'd already been upstairs and he hadn't heard a sound unnerved the silver haired agent. "I see the years haven't dulled your stealth skills."

A smile played on her lips. "Some are more practical to keep up than others."

Gibbs could guess what she was thinking, that Tony nearly jumped out of skin every time she appeared out of nowhere or popped up unexpectedly behind him, and chuckled. "Gotta get your kicks somewhere."

The light in her eyes dimmed, because though they joked about his behaviour and pretended to be annoyed, Tony's absence in the bullpen was keenly felt. Casting around for a change of subject, Ziva's eyes fell on the pieces he'd refinished. The bottom of all feet and corners had been fitted with felt pads to protect the floor he'd put so much time and work into. "Would you like some help taking those upstairs?"

Glad for the break, he nodded and together they started carting dresser drawers up a couple flights of stairs. The dresser itself came next, then toybox and night table, leaving the desk for last. Once everything was in the room he pointed to where he'd planned for them to go and asked for her opinion. Ziva surveyed the space, asked a few questions, then suggested they try and see how it looked. If she wondered why furniture was clustered on one side of the room she was wise enough not to ask, instead she caressed the side of the dresser - everything but the desk now stained a warm, golden honey shade.

"You have put a lot of effort into these. I remember what they used to look like."

Gibbs shrugged. "It needed to be different." If he was repurposing the room he didn't want to walk by every day and see something that still looked like Kelly's.

Ziva smiled fondly, running her fingers over the antique surface of the odd one out. "I used to have a desk like this. So many hours were spent with drawing paper strewn all across its surface." Her gaze drifted out the window. "I have not thought about that in ages."

He pushed some straight hair over her shoulder, not sure what to make of this change. The last time she wore it that way was right after Somalia and if hairstyles reflected mindset, things in her head were not so good. "Do you still draw for fun?"

Her lips parted but a crease formed between her eyebrows before she could speak. "I was going to say yes, but it has been awhile."

"Maybe you should get back into it," Gibbs suggested. "You obviously enjoyed that once."

She nodded, eyes vaguely unfocused. "Maybe I will."

He let the silence rest a moment, then slipped his hands in his pockets. "Got time to play catch?"

The faraway look disappeared and Ziva gave him a genuine smile. "Yes, that would be fun."

She followed him downstairs where Gibbs tugged the now familiar ballcap over her hair and went out into the bright day together - father and daughter just passing the time. And during the few hours they spent together, Ziva and Gibbs said and learned more about their relationship than they ever could have with any amount of talking. For some people silence really was the key to everything.

 **NCIS**

With Mark and Cassie away and hopefully enjoying their early anniversary celebration, the gang unanimously agreed to suspend basketball practice in favour of them all doing their own thing. So that's why Emma was home paging through a magazine while absently twisting the little diamond heart necklace that had been her first Valentine's Day present around her fingers and thinking about starting supper later that afternoon when Adrian, who'd popped out to rent a couple movies for the evening, came running into the house all excited. "Em!" he shouted. "Did you see it?"

Emma sat up and looked at her grinning husband. "See what?"

"C'mere!" He grabbed her hand and dragged her to the window, pointing. "Do you see?"

Her mouth opened slightly as she realized what he meant. "I have never seen a rainbow so big before." They'd had a brief, but intense, downpour in the past hour and the result was a huge rainbow that arced across the sky.

Adrian couldn't contain his delight. "I know. I've got to get some shots of this." He smiled at her hopefully. "Come with me?"

Any number of things could've been said in answer to that comment, but Emma had long ago made it a habit to fall in love with the things that made Adrian so unique, and rushing off to chase rainbows and lightning and anything else that caught his fancy certainly fit that bill. She leaned up on her toes to kiss him and nudged him towards the camera bags almost always left by the front door. "Always, I promise."

He stared at her with such awe and Emma realized anew that he hadn't yet gotten used to someone loving him not in spite of his quirks, but because of them. Adrian sighed and pressed his lips to hers again. "I love you Emma Platz. Thank you." Then he folded their fingers together, grabbed his equipment, and led her outside into the damp, warm afternoon. Experiences like this with his wife were something he always wanted to cherish.

 **NCIS**

"Are you teaching tomorrow?" Brent asked his wife as they sat on the couch with their evening drinks after Ryan was in bed.

Since he'd expressed his approval months ago, CJ had gone back to teaching the beginning ballet class with her friends Nicole and Lindsay a couple times a month, and filling in at other points when one of them couldn't make it. She took a sip from her mug and nodded. "I was planning on it. Nicole had a conflict with the time this week. Why?"

Brent shrugged one shoulder. "I was thinking about a boy's night out for Ry and I. You know, some father-son bonding time. Maybe bowling or an hour at the arcade. I just feel like I haven't spent a lot of quality time with him lately." He'd been extra busy at school as things began to wind down and wrap up in preparation for the end of the school year and beginning of summer break.

CJ absently trailed her fingers over the back of his hand and smiled softly. "I think that's a great idea. Although you're soon going to have all the quality time you can handle." Brent was set to play full-time dad during vacation while she was more constrained by the nature of her job. Although the gym did scale back classes slightly during the summer as people began spending more time outdoors rather than in, it was more likely to be the evening classes that were waived rather than the morning ones.

He stared down at her fingers, easily recalling the first time she touched him like that. It was when they went out for lunch after that fateful January week when she'd run scared and he was so afraid he was going to lose her and the little boy who already felt like his son. She'd stopped then when she noticed and he wished she hadn't. Brent loved that she'd picked up the habit again as their relationship progressed and rarely seemed to be aware of what she was doing. He brushed his lips over her neck. "I love when you touch me Kris."

Immediately her gaze dropped to their hands and she shook her head. "Habit, I guess. It's so natural now."

"I know, that's why I love it." He brought her fingers to his mouth and kissed each one softly. "Running your fingers over the back of my hand was one of the first times you ever touched me. And it was such an unconscious motion, so I knew part of you was more comfortable with me than it seemed. At the time it stuck with me and has ever since. I just thought you should know."

CJ set her mug down on the floor and slid her hands up his chest. "I can think of a few more things that have become natural for me," she whispered in a tone he was very familiar with.

Brent grinned. "Oh? Do tell Mrs. MacKay."

She shook her head and stood, slowly backing away. "You'll have to follow me and see."

He was up in an instant and grasping her hand. "You do know how to motivate a man."

CJ giggled and he loved the freedom in that sound. "That is yet to be seen."

Brent quietly chased her up the stairs and hoped he'd still be flirting with his wife like this in thirty years. His life had never been so full.

 **NCIS**

Restless and at loose ends away from DC and his shadow of a routine, Tony found himself randomly surfing the internet for interesting Hebrew phrases. Maybe he could learn something new and surprise his wife once back home. On the heels of that thought came another and he realized he missed his Hebrew lessons with Ziva and often Aunt Nettie. Originally begun as a way for him to be assured of his wife's undivided attention, he'd grown to truly enjoy the instruction of her native language.

His goal was to know more than just a few words, he wanted to be able to have a full conversation with her in the language she grew up with and not feel left out when she was talking to Nettie. And someday when she was ready to go back to Israel, however unlikely it seemed right now in his gut he knew that day would arrive at some point, he wanted to be comfortable speaking and understanding Hebrew at every stage of their journey.

It frustrated him to have progress stalled due to an unwanted assignment, so Tony decided it was high time to put his forced absence to good use. After some indepth research he found the kind of resource he wanted and began his solo study. If he couldn't be with Ziva, he could at least immerse himself in something that reminded him of her.

 _Replies:_

 _Sue Dooley - Hi Sue! Thanks for reviewing! I really appreciate the re-reading, that's a huge compliment. I'm so glad you're still enjoying the story. As far as I'm concerned the end of Tiva screentime just opened the door to unlimited possibilities for where we can take their story :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #1 - Hi! Thank you :) I'm so glad you like the series and that you've gotten all the way through it. It's always nice to have another reader joining the journey. I will continue working on the story as long as God allows and provides the inspiration :) That's so sweet of you to say. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Debbie - Part of the reason I've had such a hard time writing this one is because of what T &Z are like when they're apart. I've always preferred writing them together and Ziva gets so lost inside herself without T to remind her that things have changed, and she has changed from the way she was raised. I'm glad you like that and I feel it's accurate to Z's character - pulling away from the people who love her when crisis hits. It's just more challenging to weave the story when that plays such a big part. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #2 - I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying the stories. That's very nice of you to say. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #3 - Wow, thanks! That's a lot of reading! Thank you so much! I will do my best with the series, as long as God allows me to be here and continues to provide the inspiration. It's always nice to hear that people are enjoying it. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Ch 3) - That's really nice to hear. Yeah, I'm hoping to run into a bit more free time or find a better way to use the time I have for writing. I'll continue to update whenever I am able, though my guess is I'll be lucky to post once a month for now. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Ch 1) - Thank you, I really appreciate that. Wow, that's very nice of you to say. I'm very glad you're enjoying the series. Thank you for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #4 - Thank you :) I'm so glad you enjoyed it. And to answer your question, no. That gang does not know of Z's background as Mossad or that she used to be an assassin. She takes great freedom in being able to be who she has become with the gang without the shadow of her past hanging over her. Thank you for the compliments and the review, I appreciate it :) ~Aliyah_


	6. Part 6 - June 2011

**Monday June 13** \- T away from DC

If there was one thing Gibbs loathed besides killers, shopping was it. He walked into the mattress store after work and glared at the roomful of different sizes and styles. How was he supposed to know what to pick? His scowl scared off an approaching saleswoman but one of the managers quickly took her place. He ascertained the problem in a glance and gauged what this particular customer might need.

"Hello, and welcome to Sweet Dreams. My name is Rick. What can I help you find today?"

"I need three mattresses - two twin, 1 queen. And I ain't laying down on anything."

Rick nodded. "Of course. Do you prefer firmer or softer mattresses?"

Gibbs eyed the selection. "Do you have something neutral? They're guest beds." And who knew what the individual people sleeping in them now and then might like?

Rick continued to guide his customer through the process by asking simple questions and making recommendations based on the best reviews. "Is there a price range you have in mind? The cost varies by quality and popularity."

Gibbs shrugged. "Need 'em to last, may as well get good ones."

"Excellent point." Rick internally battled best for customer vs. commission and the good angel won. Better to leave the kind of impression that made people want to come back. He led the way and gestured to a couple different choices in queen size. "Either of these would meet your criteria, but I'm afraid the only way to tell a difference would be to sit on them."

Gibbs conceded to trying them out and made a decision. The same process was repeated for twin size and everything wrapped up in less time than he would've expected. Rick asked about bedframes next and was surprised and interested to hear the man was building his own. He admired some of the artwork on the walls, but what really caught his attention was a large area rug that would go very well in the room. He pointed, "I'll take that too."

Rick added it to his order and when the two men shook hands to conclude the transaction he felt he'd been treated fairly. Arrangements were made to have the mattresses delivered on Friday but Gibbs took the rug in his truck, already picturing where it would go. As soon as he got home he rolled it out on the refinished floor and stood back, satisfied as he looked around. Things were really starting to take shape and he was proud of the way it was turning out. It was nice to finally see some reward for everything he'd put into the change.

 **NCIS**

For his turn to cook McGee made salsa and cheese chicken, steamed vegetables, and whipped mashed potatoes so smooth they practically melted in her mouth. Abby was impressed. She swirled her fork through the potatoes and looked at him after she licked it off. "How did you make them so silky?"

Tim shrugged one shoulder. "Mom always made mashed potatoes this way. I guess I helped in the kitchen enough to figure it out."

"Everything is really good." Abby took a bite of savoury chicken and considered her dinner partner. "I was thinking about Ziva, that she must be pretty lonely with Tony gone."

"I'm sure she's got lots of other things to keep her busy," McGee commented.

"Yeah, but there's something special about hanging out with your best friend." The double meaning wasn't lost on either of them.

Tim quirked an eyebrow at her. "I assume you have a solution."

Abby grinned. "You know me so well." Another bite of supper later she continued. "We know Ziva and Tony always had movie nights on Thursdays. I was wondering what you'd think about inviting her to ours next week even though it's on Wednesday."

McGee blinked thoughtfully and swallowed. "We'd have to put the _Star Trek_ marathon on hold."

"I can live with that," she was quick to agree.

He remembered Tony complaining about Ziva's lack of taste when it came to cinematic offerings. " _Pirates of the Caribbean_? I'd sit through anything if it made her smile."

"Perfect." Abby beamed at him, which was totally worth sacrificing their minimal alone time for. "Thanks Timmy."

McGee touched her hand briefly. "Anything for you Abbs."

She had no doubt that he meant every word.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday June 14** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Tony flushed the toilet and leaned weakly back against the tub, rubbing his sweaty face. He closed his eyes and immediately images flooded back in - kicking in the door of Ziva's cell, guns in hand and ready to do battle for her. Saleem's smug grin as he dropped a pistol into the dust beside a too thin body. Blood soaking the front of a tan shirt. The final sigh of breath that passed her lips as he lost her forever.

His eyes snapped open and Tony's stomach rolled, but this time the contents remained inside his body. He pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes. Remembering how she looked coming out of the camp it was so painfully, agonizingly easy to imagine the thousand ways she could've died before they got there. But the worst one by far was seeing her breathe her last with him in arm's reach. Tony swallowed hard and tried to focus on getting his breathing back to a regular rhythm but it wasn't working. Dropping his head onto folded arms, his heart cried out to his wife. _They stayed away as long as you were by my side Ziva. I don't know how much longer I can do this without you._

 **NCIS**

Home decor had never been something Gibbs cared too much about. Shannon had good taste and made wherever they were stationed feel like home. When they finally settled and bought the house in DC it was fun to watch her run around picking out paint colours, wall paper patterns, and worrying about lamp shades clashing with furniture and whether they should've gone with leather instead of fabric on the couch and chair. Doing it on his own was a whole different story and he'd already been shopping once this week, not his favourite thing.

For the sake of simplicity he brought the paint strip he'd taken from the hardware store with the correct shade circled. After that it was only a matter of finding someone willing to help him out when he wasn't used to turning up the charm for this sort of thing. Luckily for him Gibbs was greeted by a woman his daughters' age soon after he walked into the store, enabling him to act the part. "I'm redoing a bedroom for guests, figured it was time to update all the fixings that go with it."

Shawna, he knew this from her nametag, chuckled a bit at the word he chose and Gibbs could see her mentally pegging him as a guy like her dad who started a project and had no idea what he'd gotten himself into. "I'd be glad to help you with that Sir."

Gibbs shook his head. "Don't call me Sir."

Her eyebrows drew together. "I have to call you something."

He held out a hand. "Gibbs."

Shawna's smile reappeared. "Alright Mr. Gibbs. Did you bring a list of everything you're looking for?"

Reluctantly he handed over the scrap of paper with his scrawl on it. "Here."

She scanned the list. "Artwork, lamps, bedding, pillows, towels - it's a good thing our tagline is 'Your One Stop Shop'."

"It better be right," Gibbs muttered.

"I'll do my best." Shawna headed to the back corner where framed artwork took up a majority of the wallspace. "Is there anything here that catches your eye?"

Looking at the variety it occurred to him that he hadn't picked a theme for the room. Granted that thought had never even crossed his mind, but with the vast array to choose from he would need some sort of system for making the decision. He considered a close up of seashells with the backdrop of waves but shook his head. No water or boat theme, this room wasn't for him. A butterfly painting was colourful but the background was too dark, he'd need something that stood out against the walls. There was a cute one of a curious baby raccoon but he wasn't leaning towards doing anything with animals either.

A canvas dominated by the painting of a daisy seemed promising and right then and there nature became the room's theme. Added to that one was a gorgeous blossoming cherry tree in the forest offering that instantly made him think of Celeste and their time together at the festival a couple months ago. Last he pointed out three separate frames that together made up the picture of leaves falling onto a puddle, complete with water ripples. He figured the leaves outweighed his previous decision to move away from anything water related.

After she tagged the art and called for someone to get them down, Shawna complimented his choice and steered him towards lamps next. Three of varying sizes and similar appearance were picked in rather short order and they moved onto the bedding department. For pillows she recommended a kind that was designed to provide good support regardless of whether the user slept on their back, side, or stomach. Gibbs thought he'd gotten off easy but then came face to face with what seemed to be an endless selection of comforters and quilts.

Seeing the rather blank expression he wore, Shawna took charge of the situation. "What colour is the room Mr. Gibbs?" In answer he handed her the paint sample and she nodded. "That's a nice relaxing colour. Did you want bedding that matches it?" Gibbs thought about the question for a moment and gave a general noise of agreement. "Okay, let's get started then."

Thankfully the selection was colour coded so he didn't have to look at a bunch that weren't even close to what he needed. What followed was a much longer process than he'd expected and Gibbs wasn't sure whether he should compliment or headslap himself when he realized partway through that he was trying to see the options through the lense of what Celeste might like. They finally narrowed it down to a handful of options and when Shawna pulled the bags of bedding off the shelf so he could see them all right next to each other, the difficulty was reduced by a lot. He finally went with a thinner, plain, sage green spread with scalloped edges for the warmer seasons and a nice fluffy comforter in the same colour with a border along the top and bottom of white vines with leaves for colder times of year for the queen. In twin sets he chose summer coverings in a solid gray and winter coverings in the same colour but with some yellow and white starburst embroidering in one corner.

Thoroughly shopped out by that time, Gibbs gave towels a cursory glance and grabbed the first three sets that looked remotely close to matching who they were for. Shawna seemed to read his mood correctly because she had him rung up and out the door a scant five minutes later with everything neatly packed in the bed of his truck. So thankful was he to get out of there that Gibbs didn't waste thoughts on anything else except getting home and continuing to work on the last two bedframes. He fell into bed, or rather onto the couch, close to midnight so worn out from the entire process that he didn't realize it was Celeste's turn to call and for the first time in months she'd missed the appointment.

 **NCIS**

 **Wednesday June 15** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

As it turned out, he couldn't. The next afternoon Ziva got a text from a blocked number. _4_ _th_ _and M. 2200. Watch your back_. Her brow furrowed in a deep frown at his words. The burn phone, brevity, and warning meant Tony thought he was being followed and the fact that she wasn't there to guard his six grated on the Mossad operative turned NCIS agent. Rule 15 - Always work as a team - flitted through her mind and it bothered Ziva that they weren't being given the opportunity. When a free moment presented itself she checked the address and found it belonged to a rather seedy bar in a part of the city people knew better than to walk through alone after dark. But the location and type of establishment also pretty much guaranteed none of the patrons would look twice or even be able to remember their own names in the morning, let alone a couple they'd never seen before.

She didn't bother replying to the text - Tony was assured of her consent simply because he knew her and knew she'd be as anxious for unobserved alone time with him as he was to be with her. Waiting until the stated time made Ziva antsy, an unfamiliar feeling for someone trained to be still and patient and wait to accomplish her mission. She killed time finishing up reports from the previous day's case and doing some extra research on the one they caught today.

Director Vance passed by on his way out of the building and paused at seeing her there. "Working late Agent David?"

Ziva shrugged one shoulder, smiling ruefully. "Paperwork."

He chuckled. "We're in the same boat then, though I guarantee I have more of it than you." Vance nodded once and made to leave but she was on her feet before she could stop herself.

"Director." Leon turned back and she cleared her throat. "Tony's assignment. Is it...dangerous?" Not that having confirmation would make her sleep better at night, but it was easier than wondering.

Vance moved a few steps closer and sighed. "There are a lot of unknowns. But I'm sure Agent DiNozzo can handle himself."

Her eyes lowered. "Of course."

He seemed about to say something else but refrained, holding her gaze a moment longer than necessary. "Goodnight Agent David."

Left with frustration at the unanswered question, Ziva watched the clock for another two hours before shutting down her computer and heading for the parking lot. Outside she glanced down at her attire - jeans and a long sleeve shirt as it could be cool once the building air conditioning kicked in - and decided no one would care what she looked like. The only one who did had already seen every version of herself - good, bad, and utterly painful - and he still loved her completely.

Entirely on guard from the moment she exited headquarters Ziva kept a sharp eye out for a tail, taking a very roundabout way to her destination just in case, and determined she wasn't being followed. Parking somewhere that would assure her a quick escape if necessary she entered the dim, half-full room, scanning for threats and a man who had never been one all at once. Ziva spotted her husband at a shadowy corner booth, not missing the way his attention changed to focus solely on her when their eyes met. Instead of waving her over Tony stood and casually wandered down the hallway to the bathrooms and around the corner. When she reached him after navigating slowly across the floor so as not to attract attention, Tony took her hand and led her to a door. Looking both ways, he quickly picked the lock and pulled her into a dusty, musty, and slightly cobwebby janitor's closet he'd scoped out earlier.

Locking the door caused a sigh of relief that they were alone, relatively safe, and finally somewhere mostly able to hear themselves think without anyone else watching or interrupting. Ziva took in their surroundings and shot him a skeptical look. "You take me to the nicest places."

Tony's remorseful expression was accompanied by an eye roll. "Only the best for my girl."

She eyed a strand of cobweb clinging to the wall. "These supplies do not appear to be used very often."

His hand cupped her cheek, out of patience for mundane conversation, and he kissed her hard. Ziva matched his emotion and the air was charged with intensity as the couple poured longing and missing and worry out until they had to part for breath. Hearts racing, Tony and Ziva kept their foreheads together as they drew in ragged breaths, finally moving back slightly to gaze at each other. Tony's thumb lightly caressed the dark circles under her eyes. "Are you sleeping?"

She brushed off his concern. "Some." After working herself into exhaustion at Ops or on the running paths, but that didn't need to be said. "Are you?"

It was his turn to avoid scrutiny. "More or less." Mostly less.

Ziva decided not to let him away with it and shook her head. "You cannot lie to me Anthony. I know you too well."

Tony dragged her into a fierce embrace. "I really needed to see you today." The vestiges of yesterday's early morning nightmare still clung too tightly, and even though he'd stayed at the gym until he was spent it hadn't driven the images from his mind.

Clinging to her husband, Ziva turned her face into his neck, lips grazing the warm skin as she breathed in his comforting scent. "I have missed this."

His heart cracked a little farther. "Me too." He hated what the situation was doing to them. Almost as bad as before, except then at least he'd been home every night.

Taking the initiative, she moved only far enough for her lips to find his. Aside from an intimate encounter, which she wasn't prepared to engage in here, it was the highest form of comfort she could offer. Tony responded instantly, mouth moving insistently against hers, fingers pulling the elastic out so they could dig into her soft hair and hands sliding all over her body, finally slipping under her shirt and pressing her close with both palms flat on her lower back before his fingers crept up to toy with the clasp on her bra. They both flirted with something less innocent than first base, as her hands had been busy too, but reality filtered through the haze of wanting and the partners reluctantly let go, bringing things down a notch when he cradled her face in his hands and kissed her so softly she ached from the tenderness.

"I miss my good morning kiss," Tony whispered against her lips. "None of my days start right because of the lack of it. I love how seriously you always took that gesture once you knew how much it meant to me."

She could think of no response equal to that except one again involving the meeting and melding of their mouths. Despite knowing desire had to be tamped down, the couple couldn't resist the indulgence of a little more making out, though more toned down than the frenzy of a few minutes ago. They reluctantly parted and leaned back to stare into each other's eyes, grateful again for the years of knowing one another that allowed simple eye contact to be an indepth conversation.

Finally Ziva unwound her arms from around her husband's neck, hands slowly coming to rest on his chest. "Are you safe ahava?"

He heaved a sigh. "No, I don't think so." She tensed and he let his lips linger on her temple. "I picked up a few fake IDs when I first left and when I travel it's always under an alias, but that's not enough. I'm being followed, watched. I first noticed the tail about a week ago and I just have this feeling." Tony flashed her a lopsided smile. "I guess I've picked up some of those ninja reflexes and instincts over the years after all."

Her dark gaze was serious. "I hope they serve you well. Thank you for my weapons back."

He traced her waistband, finding the paperclip again. "Poor substitute for a partner watching your back."

"My partner will be back as soon as he is able, yes?"

Tony nodded. "The minute this is wrapped up you'll be my first stop, promise."

"Then I can ask for nothing more." The brown eyes he loved shadowed. "This cannot happen again, can it?"

Her question made his head fall forward in defeat. "No. And you have no idea how much I wish that answer could be different." He laced their fingers together. "The risk is too great. I'm so sorry babe."

Ziva kept a tight rein on her tears, not wanting to make him feel worse. "I know. I am so thankful for this time. You are...hakol bishvili." She waited for him to fill in the translation.

"Your everything," Tony choked out. "Just as you are mine. I love you so much Zi."

She nodded, bringing their mouths together once more. "I love you," she whispered, drawing back and retrieving the dark coloured hair tie to erase the evidence of his fingers tangled in the smooth strands. She hated that they had to pretend as if these moment had never existed.

How much time had passed neither could be sure, but both knew the necessity of erring on the side of caution. After sharing a final, ardent kiss they left the closet one at a time, Tony to the bathroom and Ziva to order one drink so as to make her presence there plausible. They didn't make eye contact again and she left shortly after, feeling the heat of his gaze even from twenty feet away. She went home to bed but after only a taste of what she so deeply desired sleep was extremely difficult to find, and she knew without even asking that when her husband made it back to wherever he was staying he would be having the exact same issue. They were no longer able to function on their own.

 **NCIS**

When Gibbs heard movement upstairs and the high voice of a child, he knew right away who his visitors were. Amira ran to him as soon as he stepped through the doorway. "Papa Gibbs! We came to say hi."

He scooped her up. "That's a great reason." Leyla joined them and received a kiss on the cheek. "Everything okay?"

She smiled like she always did, though Mike's loss remained a dark shadow in her eyes. "Yes. Better actually. The insurance money came last week. It is a relief to know I can provide for my daughter's needs." A cheque appeared out of her pocket. "Half of the amount has already been put in trust for Amira and will see her through school, her wedding, and perhaps even a down payment on a house someday. Mike was very generous." Gibbs slid his arm around her waist and pulled her close for comfort when he saw the sheen of tears building. "We are so thankful for your help Gibbs and how you have taken care of us these past weeks. I was hoping that you will let me repay you."

He fixed her with a glare. "You don't listen very well. It wasn't a loan."

Leyla sighed. "Gibbs."

The older man shook his head and softened his tone. "I love you and Amira. I don't want your money."

She conceded defeat. "Then thank you. But I expect you to come for dinner once a week so we can look after you as well."

Gibbs cracked a smile. "Wouldn't miss it."

Amira wriggled in his arms to get down, unable to hold still for long. "I can read you my princess book." Her eyes sparkled. "There's ponies."

Leyla covered her amusement and Gibbs remembered tea parties, doll weddings and fashion shows and lots of princesses, ponies, and ballet books when Kelly was small. He agreed immediately. "I'd like that sweetie." She skipped into the livingroom and Gibbs sank down on the couch. "Did you go to the park today?"

"Yup," she nodded, curls bouncing as she rummaged through her purple bag for the right book. "But Mr. Shawn wasn't there." Amira sounded disappointed. "He's good at swinging."

Gibbs' gaze darted to Leyla. "He came to the park?"

Her expression turned shy. "Yes. He tried a few different parks before finding ours. We have seen him twice."

"And?" He was starting to feel like Abby or Tony, digging for details.

"And he is very sweet to Amira." One eyebrow rose and Leyla shifted uncomfortably. "I am leaving it at that right now Gibbs. I have my daughter to think of."

He sighed as Amira scrambled up beside him. "This is about you too." Offering advice was not his forte. "Give him a chance."

"We shall see," Leyla said non-committally as the little girl opened her book and pulled on Gibbs' sleeve to get his attention. She was still learning how to read, so the story was based on what she saw in the pictures, not the actual words.

"Once upon a time there was a princess with a magic pink crown." It went on from there to include flying ponies, fairy sparkles, and a dragon who lived in a huge tree. He didn't always follow her logic when it came to plot, but he got a great deal of enjoyment out of watching her expression and excitement and hearing the inflections in her voice. The scene took him back twenty years and sometimes he could almost hear an echo of Kelly in her words. Gibbs was so thankful to have another child in his house. The innocence and joy she carried with her was absolutely priceless.

 **NCIS**

After Leyla and Amira left Gibbs went back to the basement, intent on putting in a few more hours with the bedframes. He was hard at work when the phone rang and answered with a drawled, "Yeah?" instead of his usual bark.

"Forgive me?"

Celeste's quiet voice got his attention fast. "For what?"

She sighed. "Missing yesterday? I'm sorry Jethro, but it was a rather...trying day."

He dropped onto the stool. "I'm all ears."

"I got a headache mid-day, barely made it back home, had to cancel a couple meetings, and spent the remaining hours drugged and shutting out the scenery."

Concern welled up in him. "It's been awhile since your last bad one. Any idea what caused it?"

Celeste shrugged. "No one's ever been able to figure out why they happen. I couldn't even tell you how many doctors my parents took me to when I was younger."

Itching to do something with his hands as feelings tried to claw their way to the surface, Gibbs cleared his throat. "You want to start keeping a tally of neck rub IOUs?"

Pleasantly surprised and pleased, she smiled softly and he could hear it in her words. "I might just do that."

Silence rested between them several moments before he got back to work and changed the subject. "Leyla met someone."

Celeste's eyebrows rose. "Really? That's so quick." They had, after all, only been in DC a month.

Gibbs began twisting screws into holes. "Shawn. He's a salesman from the lot where we got her car and was taken with her and Amira right away. I told him not to rush anything. Apparently he's met them at the park a couple times." He blew wood shavings out of the next hole. "Leyla refuses to acknowledge his interest though, she's using Amira as an excuse."

Thinking about it for a moment, she gently turned the observation around on him. "She's choosing the safer route Jethro, taking her time. Rushing into something has its own consequences."

"Liam's been gone four years," he argued stubbornly. "There's a big difference between that and getting married less than a year later."

"But Leyla only just lost Mike," Celeste pointed out. "He was everything to both of them during those years. If this Shawn is truly interested, he won't mind taking things slow."

Gibbs couldn't argue with her logic. He rubbed his face. "I don't want her to be alone Les. She and that little girl deserve the best of everything."

"You are an old softy," she accused happily. "And one of these days they're all going to know it too."

"Don't go telling tales," he growled. "I've got a reputation to protect."

Celeste wanted to say 'I love you' again but this time she waited. The first had been a gift, the second had been in answer to a question, if he wanted to hear it now he'd have to say it back.

 **NCIS**

 **Thursday June 16** \- 1 month since Tony left. T in DC, not at NCIS

Waiting for Ziva to leave these days was a useless exercise, she could stall her departure time like nobody's business, so it caught Gibbs off guard when his lone female agent packed up as soon as he called work hours to a close and murmured her goodbyes to both of them. McGee also began getting his things together and it was the perfect opportunity Gibbs had been waiting for. He stood and walked to the younger man's desk. "Tim."

McGee looked up, an expression of trepidation on his face. Late night talks when no one else was around that began with 'Tim' usually required a favour that didn't bode well for him. "Boss."

Gibbs sighed, uncomfortable with asking for help. "Close friend of mine has a birthday on Monday. Can you come set up that Sky thing on my computer?"

"Skype," McGee corrected automatically, wincing as a flashback from the internal affairs investigation into Tony hit him. "Do you still have the same laptop from a few years ago?" Gibbs gave a single nod and Tim swallowed. "You, uh...might need something more...recent for the program to work." _Y'know, like something from this decade._

Without a word the boss reached for his wallet and took out a credit card, pressing it into McGee's hand. "Keep it simple."

Tim's eyebrows jumped up. "Wow, must be some friend if you're willing to shell out that kind of cash."

Gibbs wasn't as ignorant about technology as his team believed, but he figured the investment was worth getting to see Celeste almost in person to wish her a happy birthday.

When the boss failed to respond, except for glaring, he stammered, "Not-not that it's any of my business of course." Gibbs continued staring and the junior agent cleared his throat. "I can come by and set it up on Sunday."

"Saturday," Gibbs put in. He was on his way to finishing up the other two bedframes and would be starting something else Sunday.

"Or Saturday," McGee repeated slowly. "Sure." He'd been planning to try and tag along on one of Abby's volunteer projects, but if that finished earlier in the day he should still be able to fit both in.

"Good." Gibbs grabbed his jacket and headed out, throwing a quiet, "Thanks," over his shoulder.

Tim stared after the man, trying to process the last few minutes. Something was going on here, but he had no idea what it was he'd missed.

 **NCIS**

Experiencing a period of despondency all day, the resulting low after the high of being with her husband, Ziva simply couldn't be bothered to waste any energy on letter #7 from Eli, not with everything else currently going on in her life. The pink envelope went quietly into the office garbage can, then Ziva pulled out her first journal - the black leather one begun when Ari died - and settled into the corner chair. She started flipping through it, looking for one entry in particular. When she came to it a sigh pushed past her lips and she trailed a finger over the Hebrew characters still as natural to her as breathing even after half a decade in America primarily using English.

 _June 16, 2006 - He told me he loves me today and I am terrified of what that means. We have been secretly dating for two months and I did not expect things to change so soon. Tony did not ask me to say it back, he just wanted me to know, which I think says a lot about how much he has grown up. We have known each other for over a year and since his party in January he has worked very hard to earn my trust, to show me he could change. I know in my heart that I love him, but everyone I have said those words to has died and I cannot lose Tony too. No one has ever fought so hard for me, but he deserves much more than I can give. I am always so sure of myself, always confident, but today I do not know what to do. I wish I had the freedom to give him my heart._

 _ **June 16, 2006**_

 _Tony looked over at her. "Ziva," he said softly, "I love you."_

 _She turned to him, eyes wide. "What?"_

 _He took her face in his hands. "I love you."_

 _Ziva searched his eyes for a hidden agenda but found none. Tears escaped the corner of her eyes and he wiped them away. "Why?"_

 _Tony shook his head. "Why what?"_

" _Why do you love me? Because you want to take me to bed? Because of my body or my skills or my looks? Why?"_

 _His brow furrowed. "None of that the way you mean it and all of it for so many different reasons, plus a hundred other things. I don't understand."_

 _Ziva's fingers strayed to her Star of David necklace. "No man has ever said those words before and meant just me."_

" _I do." Tony brought her hand to his lips and brushed them over her palm. "I don't love you for what I can get from you Ziva. I love you for the language mistakes, the teasing glint in your eyes, your ability to threaten people with office supplies; for gorgeous brown eyes, long curly hair, a heart hidden too much of the time, the way you watch movies for me when I know you'd rather read a book. I love you for the cargo pants and hidden weapons, for how brave you've been to let me close and give me a chance to be who I never was before. I love your body and your skills and your looks yeah, it's hard not to, and because they're all part of you, but not the most important part."_

" _What is?" she whispered, totally blown away by the outpouring of his heart._

" _Your heart Zi, and the place you've given me inside of it. I love you."_

 _She leaned forward and kissed him then, and he could sense an apology in her tears and knew she wasn't ready yet to say the same to him. Time was lost in the gentle shared caresses that followed, and before she could try to take it farther to make it up to him Tony tucked her back against his side and held on tight, knowing whatever came next he was never letting this woman go. She was the other half of his soul and for the first time ever he finally felt whole._

Ziva could remember that night on her couch like it was yesterday, the awe she felt at Tony's answer that he loved her for her and not because of what he could get out of it, because at that point kissing and innocent touching had been all they were doing. Fear had been a part of her reaction definitely, disbelief certainly, but no man had ever made her feel as deeply as he had either. She was indebted to him for that.

Her heart ached from missing her husband and she re-shelved the journal, grabbing their scrapbooks next. One for each year of marriage, happy smiles and deep abiding love present in nearly every picture. Ziva found herself in the midst of a pity party she hadn't planned to have. Resolutely she shoved away the feeling sorry for herself part and worked instead to update their Year Four book, as it hadn't been significantly worked on since early February. The phone rang at ten pm DC time and five am Haifa time but on this occasion Ziva resolutely ignored every trill. She was not up to talking with anyone tonight, not even Aunt Nettie. Her day ended with an entry in the blank notebook for Tony. _You told me you loved me for the first time five years ago today. I wish you were here tonight to say it again. I love you._

 **NCIS**

 **Friday June 17** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Ziva's fourth scar appointment was done with a different kind of laser for deeper, thicker scars and lasted much longer than the others. Despite the local anesthetic and twilight sedation there was quite a bit more pain than she expected. The nurse advised the use of ice packs for the first few hours (which she already knew from the previous treatments), and special creams to get the most out of the procedure, as well as sleeping on her stomach for a few days. And resuming a regular exercise routine was not recommended until at least the fourth day but more likely would be uncomfortable for a week after the appointment.

Though she originally chafed at the instructions, by the time the treatment was over she was beginning to understand why the restrictions had been imposed. A special bandage was applied and needed to stay on for the first twenty-four hours and because the sedation made her sleepy, Ziva was required to take a cab home. She was given a prescription for an anti-viral medication as well as painkillers, and admitted to herself during the ride that she would probably have to give in and take at least a few of them if she expected to get any sleep.

Having taken the afternoon off from work to go to the appointment, Ziva had the luxury of time to take a nap, a highly unusual occurrence during normal circumstances. Getting an ice pack to sit in the right place on her back to soothe the bruise was considerably more difficult without her husband's assistance, but at least it was the gel kind that stayed where it was put. She woke up groggy a couple of hours later and realized with some chagrin that there was a group event scheduled for this evening - McKenna's much anticipated ballet recital to which all family and pseudo-family members had been invited months ago. Even without her history she would not have let the little girl down, but especially because of her father's no-show at her own performance Ziva was determined to at least put in an appearance, though it might be for a short time only.

The first order of business was to find a shirt that didn't irritate the sensitive skin on her back. As much as she'd been determined to stay out of their room in Tony's absence, she had made the brief concession of entering to sneak one of his soft, expensive dress shirts out of the closet so she'd have something to sleep in. One of her own blouses probably would've done just as well, but Ziva needed him close today. Unwilling to try on too many things - movement came at a rather high price for the moment - she carefully considered her options before selecting a dark purple, gypsy style shirt that was tighter at her hips but comfortably loose around arms and midsection and buttoned up the front.

Knowing how important it was to feel special and appreciated after working so hard and long at a recital, Ziva went out back before she left and selected a handful of wildflowers to present her niece with, using a ribbon from her gift wrapping supplies to tie them together and adding a wet paper towel and ziploc bag to assist them in lasting until the Reece family returned home in a few hours. That seen to, there was nothing left to do except bid Meira farewell and drive herself to the high school where the performance was taking place.

" _Stay out of trouble_ bat sheli," Ziva admonished her pet, not that the docile dog was known for causing very much.

She learned quickly that any pressure on her back was unacceptable and had to drive in a rather awkward position, leaning forward instead of resting against her seat. She arrived with plenty of time to spare and soon spotted Cassie and Mark. Offering a small wave, she moved forward to join them but had to sidestep the usual hug greeting. The group mom was immediately concerned. "Is everything okay?" Ziva only seemed to refuse close contact with them if she was going through something.

Ziva's smile was slight and she shrugged one shoulder, then winced, not hiding it fast enough to go unnoticed. "Fine," she began, but backtracked at Cassie's disbelieving look. She sighed, "I am alright. I just...cannot handle hugs for a few days."

Seeing that she didn't give any more details, Cassie immediately assumed the reason had something to do with work and Ziva had no intention of correcting her. She still very much wanted to keep the scar appointments to herself. "I hope he's in custody now, whoever he is. What happened to guys being careful with girls? I miss that courtesy." She seemed really irritated at the changing times and it almost made Ziva smirk. "I'm just grateful the guys in this group still believe in chivalry."

The Israeli put a hand on her friend's arm. "I am as well. I remember quite vividly how Darien offered that I could send him and the others after the people who hurt me that summer. I commented on them being gentlemen and he said gentlemen always defend ladies."

Cassie smiled a nodded. "We've got some good ones." McKenna peeked her head around the corner from where all the girls were getting into their costumes and her mother motioned her over. "How's it going back there sweetheart?"

McKenna smiled. "Good, we're almost ready." She looked at Mark. "Daddy, did you remember the camera?"

He patted the bag slung over his shoulder. "Right here Hugs."

"You'll get all of it, right? I want to show Uncle Tony when he gets back."

That comment alone almost brought Ziva to tears. Her husband should not be missing these important moments with their family. It was so unfair that he hadn't been given a choice.

Mark patted the tight bun at the back of her head. "Every second honey, I promise."

The little girl turned to her and Ziva bent to offer the flowers. "These are for you motek. I know you are going to do a fabulous job. You have worked and practiced so hard for this and you will shine like a star on that stage."

McKenna grinned and grabbed her around the waist. "Thank you Aunt Ziva, they're beautiful."

Ziva knelt in front of her. "I am so proud of you. I used to be a ballerina when I was your age, so I know how important tonight is. I will stay for as long as I can, but I may have to leave early. Please do not think that means I have not enjoyed every moment of your performance, okay?"

Like her mom, McKenna guessed at work as the reason and nodded in understanding, looking wiser than nine. "I hope they don't need you too soon Aunt Ziva. Thank you for coming."

Jordan and Allie arrived at that moment, saving Ziva from having to say anything else, and once it was time she followed them to the block of seats reserved for family. Meanwhile Alec appeared from out front bringing with him Matthew and Claire. "I found them Mom," he announced.

Matthew kissed his daughter's cheek. "Sorry we're late Precious, I forgot how crazy the parking gets for this event."

Claire held up a wrapped bouquet. "We brought McKenna some flowers for after, I hope that's okay."

Cassie's expression reflected delight. Her daughter was going to get spoiled by affection tonight. "Very okay, she'll love them." Without even thinking about it she wrapped Claire in a hug and it felt like the whole family held their breath, waiting for her to realize this was the first time she'd shared that gesture with her stepmother. She let go and looked at all the faces around her, offering a small embarrassed smile. "I guess that was long overdue, huh?"

Matthew blinked rapidly and Claire simply cupped Cassie's cheek. "Thank you for making room in your heart for me Mattie. You'll never know how much that means."

Though a protest formed in her mind against use of the special nickname by anyone other than her dad, somehow she couldn't put it into words. Three months ago she never could've imagined the relationship growing between her and her father's wife now, but she was so thankful for it. They'd become even closer since she set aside her pride and apologized last month for the way she'd acted in the beginning. She was blessed indeed that the lady bore no ill will towards her for her earlier attitude. Cassie didn't feel like she deserved the understanding Claire had displayed.

She decided right then and there that if Claire wanted to call her 'Mattie' on occasion that would be okay. It was a name her mom had never used for her and so there were no memories being trampled on. And it would be nice to have something special with this mother too. She would never call another woman 'Mom' but Claire would, if God willed, be around for the next few decades and it was important they become a family in every way. Cassie determined she would do her best to live up to whatever that meant as the days and months continued to pass.

All this flew through her head in a flash and she smiled fondly at Claire and her dad. "I think I do."

They trailed into the auditorium together and enjoyed the top notch performance her daughter's ballet class put on, clapping and cheering in all the right places and making sure the entire thing was captured on video to show absent group members later. But definitely the most significant part of the evening was another step taken towards family. There was no greater gift than to love and cherish those whom God had blessed them with.

 **NCIS**

Ziva finished her latest Tony journal entry half an hour after returning home from the recital and closed the blank book with the pen still inside. Her gaze drifted to twilight visible in the backyard, Tony's desk just as he'd left it, then hers - pictures, penholder, notepad, and...vase. A slender, clear blue vase holding a single dried flower kept from the first bouquet her husband ever gave her. A slight smile played on her lips remembering the day one week into their marriage when Tony came back from a takeout run after a long day at work and entered with a grin.

" _Honey, I'm home." Only because he'd spent at least three of their movie nights introducing her to the genius that was Lucille Ball did Ziva have any frame of reference for the quote._

 _She turned from the sink where yesterday's dishes were soaking only to find him holding out a wrapped package. Her eyebrows rose curiously and she dried her hands before accepting it. After peeling away the cover Ziva beckoned her husband closer for a kiss and admired the wildflower bouquet. "Thank you ahava, they're beautiful."_

 _He pulled one out and brought it to his nose. "Beautiful flowers for mia bellissima moglie."_ _ **My beautiful wife.**_

That particular bloom was the one she'd chosen to save, the gesture neither first nor last in a long line of romantic offerings from the man who'd quite literally fought his way into her heart. Wistfulness and longing collected in her throat and rimmed her eyes with extra moisture, but shedding tears over a flower seemed like a waste, so she dashed them away and decided to go for a run instead. Sitting up too quickly she was suddenly reminded of why that method of avoidance wouldn't work tonight. Her back was still more than a little sore from that morning's appointment and any form of exercise was out of the question for at least a few days.

Antsy without a way to channel it, Ziva changed her resolve to a walk instead. Meira showed no interest when she reached for the leash so she went by herself and though it probably wasn't the best idea, stubbornness won out over common sense and a good hour passed before she returned. Having nothing else useful to fill her time with she got ready for bed and lay down carefully on her stomach, the gel ice pack once again in place, hoping that tomorrow she'd have dredged up the willpower necessary to make it through another day alone.

 **NCIS**

Friday finally came and with it the mattress delivery Gibbs had waited for. He left the office early in preparation and began moving the main bedframe, stained and varathaned just yesterday, upstairs piece by piece. He'd only just gotten it put together and inspected when his front door was assaulted by an insistent knocker. The two men carried in three mattresses and took them to the room, even helping him get the queen one set up on the frame, while the twins were left leaning against the wall waiting to be needed.

Once he was alone Gibbs got out the lighter of the two bedding sets and made the bed, remembering when the task was easier with another person on the other side to help. He got even more motivated when he saw the finished product and proceeded to set out one lamp and hang all three pictures on the walls. It looked so good Gibbs actually grinned, feeling mighty pleased about the results. The night was wearing on, he'd spent more time in the room planned, so Gibbs headed back to the basement to get in some more work on the other bedframes before hitting the rack. Things were definitely coming along.

 **NCIS**

It would be cliche to say her dream troubles returned in Tony's absence, so at least today's events could be blamed for the nightmare that jerked Ziva out of a restless sleep. The room was dark and she fought panic, telling herself it wasn't real had little effect. In lieu of tracking her husband down to seek the safety of his arms, Ziva made a decision. Remembering what Gibbs told her about wanting Kelly's room to be a safe place if any of them needed it, she would take him up on it tonight. She had no desire to be alone any longer.

Choice settled on, she threw a change of clothes in her gym bag, checked that Meira had enough food and water, and slipped out of the house so silently her dog never heard a thing. Ziva drove following all the rules and arrived at her adopted father's house within ten minutes but parked in the empty lot of a church three blocks away and around a corner and walked back so as to remain unnoticed. The windows were dark, to be expected at almost midnight, but when she crept inside there was no body resting on the couch. A glance towards the basement door showed it half-open, a faint glow emanating from within.

That Gibbs was awake didn't bother her. If he was working her entrance would go unnoticed and she preferred it that way. He would have no reason to go upstairs and she would be gone before he woke. He never even needed to know she'd been there. Satisfied with her logic Ziva moved stealthily upstairs, avoiding the spots she'd already noticed creaked. When she stood at the doorway to what had been Kelly's room, she was caught off guard by the changes.

A fully useable bed was set up, ready to climb into when she'd expected to curl up in a quilt from the linen closet on the bare hardwood. The floor was covered by a thick, soft grey area rug, pictures hung on the walls - everything put together projected a welcoming feeling and for that she was glad. Ziva turned back the covers, shifted pillows around, and settled her exhausted body onto the creamy sheets. Maybe now she'd finally be able to get some sleep.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs chuckled into the phone as he took the stairs two at a time, needing to grab clothes for tomorrow from the master bedroom closet. "Yes Les, I promise I'll head to bed soon. There were just some things I wanted to finish first." It was kind of sweet the way she fussed over him. "I know it's late, I-" he cut himself off mid-sentence as something out of place in the guest room caught his eye and he backtracked. Someone was sleeping in the bed. A frown creased his brow as his eyes adjusted and he saw who it was.

"Jethro?" Celeste questioned his silence.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm here," Gibbs assured her, lowering his voice.

"What's wrong?"

He dragged a hand down his face, trying to work out what this meant. "Ziva's here."

Celeste's brow furrowed. "She shows up now? That can't be good."

Gibbs retreated back downstairs, abandoning his previous mission. "By the looks of it she's been here awhile. She's sleeping in the guest bed."

Surprised silence met his comment. "You're...finished the room already?" Though intensely curious about what he was doing to it, she'd refrained from asking for details to keep from stepping on a sore spot.

"Nah, not finished. Got a few more changes up my sleeve. But it's habitable. Good timing on Ziva's part, mattress was only delivered today." He sighed. "I do wonder what drove her to it though. You know how she hates people finding out she's really human and not the steely eyed killer her reputation would suggest."

"She thinks you won't find out," Celeste said softly.

Gibbs grunted. "It's my house. I'm not blind."

"No, but everyone knows you sleep on the couch. This late she wouldn't expect you to have a reason to go upstairs. Besides, Ziva got in without disturbing you, why could she not leave the same way?"

He sagged onto the couch. "Ziva's been going to doctor's appointments lately, seems like every couple weeks. I'm concerned Les."

"It could be outpatient treatment of some kind," Celeste mused. "But would you like my opinion Jethro?"

"Please."

"Perhaps she's seeing a psychologist and doesn't want anyone to know."

"We have shrinks at NCIS," he pointed out.

"You already know Ziva values her privacy. She might feel safer going to a civilian."

"I'm afraid she's sick," Gibbs confessed in a whisper. "Can't lose her again."

"If it was something that serious she'd tell you," Celeste soothed, willing him to be bolstered by her confidence.

"Maybe." He brooded for a moment, then yawned. "Much as I'm enjoying this Les, I better hit the hay."

"Good plan. Try to sleep past six, will you?" It was after midnight on the East Coast and she wanted him rested and ready to face the day.

"No promises. I'll talk to you next week."

"Okay, sweet dreams."

"You too." Though with a kid sleeping upstairs for no apparent reason, the odds of him sleeping well were not high. He couldn't fix it when she wouldn't tell him what the problem was.

 **NCIS**

 **Saturday June 18** \- T away from DC

About the time Ziva was meticulously remaking the bed and arranging throw pillows exactly as she found them so her unknowing host wouldn't notice she'd spent the night, Cassie and the gang were arriving at a fruit farm outside of the city where she got her strawberries each year for making jam. It had become a tradition years ago once the frat brothers all ended up in the same city. After a couple group brunches involving jam and toast, they found out about her skill when raving about how good the fruity topping tasted. They began wheedling jars out of her for special occasions and didn't truly understand how much work went into making jam until they observed the process from start to finish one year.

They always did their best to stay in her good graces during the spring and early summer, hoping to be gifted with a jar or two for their help - a little bit of picking at the fruit farm and a lot of hulling containers of strawberries back at the house. Even with their contribution Allie insisted the guys give Cassie at least a couple dollars per jar of her signature strawberry and strawberry-pineapple jam. That year Cassie began making a double bath so she'd have enough for her own family and her extended family - though everyone enjoyed it so much it never lasted as long as it should've. Any money offered towards what she gave the guys was put in a jar to go towards her jam-making supplies for the next year.

So now they looked forward to that warm June morning when they'd all spill out of cars half-awake to pick baskets of bright red berries before the sun rose too high in the sky. This year Adrian and Darien started a contest to see who could fill their baskets faster and Mark refereed between his children when Alec poked fun at his sister and she retaliated by throwing a strawberry at his head. Their punishment was to pick up the fruit they'd wasted and add it to their personal baskets of the strawberries they got to eat, as well as contributing a little of their own pocket money towards the cost of the berries if they were going to be silly about it.

The girls all clustered together in a couple of rows and had fun chatting and watching the antics of the others. Every once in awhile one of them would look up and comment that they wished Ziva had been able to make it or one of the guys would lament the loss of Tony's sense of humour, which always added another element of fun to all the hard work. They shared favourite summer memories a few hours later when they sat around Mark and Cassie's large kitchen table to hull the berries and made a day out of it by setting up the sprinkler in the backyard and playing with the kids when the kitchen got too hot, leaving only Mark to keep his wife company during the actual canning process. They were sent home after a light supper, each clutching a prized jar or two of jam, and could honestly say it had been a great day. It just would have been a little bit better if the whole family could've been there to share it.

 **NCIS**

Amira was so excited to see her friend that she jumped off the swing in the middle of Leyla's push. "Mr. Shawn!" She ran over and flung herself at him, already confident that he would catch her. Only two afternoons at the park so far but he'd already left quite an impression on the fatherless little girl.

He grinned and lifted her up. "Hey kiddo, what's new?"

She squirmed to get down and ran towards the bench where she and Leyla had left their things. "Do you see my bag?"

Shawn knelt to be at her level. "I do. It's very nice. Is it new?"

Amira nodded, brown curls bouncing. "Uh-huh. It's from Miss Celeste, she's really nice. It's purple. Do you like purple?" He didn't get a chance to answer as she hugged the bag to her chest. "Purple is my favourite."

The man chuckled and he reached into his pocket. "Does that mean you'd like a purple sucker to go with your purple bag?" Amira's eyes lit up and she gleefully tugged the candy on a stick from his grip. Shawn finally looked at Leyla, realizing with regret that he hardly ever acknowledged her until after that initial greeting with her daughter. "What about you Miss Shakarji? I only have red and pink left." The side of his mouth quirked up. "Lots of kids at the lot today."

Leyla arched an eyebrow. "What flavour is pink?"

He made a face. "Well, I think it's supposed to be watermelon but I'm not sure they quite succeeded with it. I'd go with red if I were you."

She hesitated in reaching for it. "You will sacrifice it and have a sucker of dubious flavouring?"

Shawn shook his head and looked a little guilty. "To be honest, I usually pawn that kind off on my nieces. Kids don't seem to care if the stuff tastes authentic, only if it tastes like sugar."

She accepted the offering. "I suppose that's true." Leyla wasn't sure what to say to him next and was saved having to think of an innocuous topic when Amira tugged at his shirt.

"Want to see what I keep in my bag?"

Shawn obligingly dropped to the ground beside her. "Sure."

She unzipped it and looked at him solemnly. "This is all my favourite things." First she pulled out her well-loved stuffed cat and he nodded in recognition.

"Ah yes, Mish. I see we don't go anywhere without you."

Leyla thought of how Mish had been practically glued to Amira's arm in recent weeks. The night before she had to pry the toy away from her daughter in order to do her bath. The resulting tantrum meant an early bedtime for the struggling little girl and left her mother wondering how on earth Amira would cope when she started school next year and had to leave the toy at home.

Amira touched the cat gently and set him on Shawn's knee. "And this is my dragon book." _The Paper Bag Princess_ , by Robert Munsch.

Shawn flipped through it. "I think I've read this one to my nieces."

She looked up with interest. "What's their names?"

He opened his wallet to show her a picture. "This is Zoey, and this is Alexa. They're a bit older than you, nine and six."

Leyla studied the picture while her daughter quickly lost interest. "They are beautiful girls."

Shawn grinned. "Thanks. Blonde hair, blue eyes - they definitely take after my sister, Morgan. Though I guess there's a little of her husband, Gabe, in there too. His sense of humour for sure." He shook his head. "The girls are so witty and quick but Morgan...well, she just thinks she's funny."

The affection for his sister came across very clearly. "And you enjoy teasing her about it."

"Since we were kids," he affirmed, then his attention was drawn back to the little girl who had impatiently called his name twice already, with Leyla shushing her each time. "What's this one?" He checked out the next book. " _The Napping House_? Huh, I don't know that one."

"There's a grandma and a dog and a cat and a mouse and a flea!" Amira pronounced the last one triumphantly.

Leyla perched on the bench nearby. "We read it every night. I think I can say it now without the book."

Shawn tried to hold in his amusement. "I'll test you on it sometime."

"And _Mud Puddle_ ," Amira continued. "I like when the mommy washes out her belly button and the mud puddle jumps on her head!"

He ruffled her hair. "Sounds like something you'd need a raincoat for munchkin."

"No," she shook her head. "The raincoat didn't work. It was too hot."

The grown-ups laughed at how literal she was being and settled in to enjoy the rest of the show and tell. Among her other treasures was a bedtime book about sheep, a silly one called _I Only Like Pizza On Mondays, Paddington, Jillian Jiggs,_ and the ever popular Dr. Seuss. Amira also produced a colouring book and crayons and a little box of shells. She lined everything up neatly and patted the stack. "This is my bestest stuff."

Shawn's eyebrows jumped up. "That's a lot for you to carry around little lady. Isn't it heavy?"

She shook her head once, then tipped it to the side, considering. "Well, yes. Then Mama helps me carry it."

He leaned back on his hands. "That's awfully nice of Mama." Checking his watch covertly, he was chagrined to realize he was about to be running late for dinner at his sister's house. "Hey kiddo, how about we go down the slide a couple times before I have to go?"

Amira's face crumpled. "You're leaving already?"

Leyla put a hand on her daughter's shoulder. "You need to thank Mr. Shawn for coming habibi, instead of pouting. He has other things to do besides comes to the park."

She crossed her arms in a bit of a huff, then looked up at Shawn. "What else do you do?"

He did what he always tried when his nieces got grouchy too and tickled her a little to bring her smile back. "I work. I spend time with my family. I go to a different park and play chess with the people there. I go home and work on the car I'm fixing, And..." he jumped up and headed for the play structure "...I race you to the slide!"

Amira shrieked and darted after him, bad mood forgotten, and they spent ten minutes going down the slide and racing up the climbing wall and doing underdoggies on the swing before his watch beeped to signal time to leave. He silenced it and knelt in front of the little girl who was fast capturing his heart. "Well Miss Amira, I've got to go for today. But maybe I'll see you again soon, okay?"

She considered his proposal and nodded. "Maybe at the library? Or the park with the ducks?"

He tugged one of her curls and glanced up at Leyla. "Sounds good. As long as it's alright with your mom." Shawn stood and slipped his hands in his pockets. "Thanks for sharing your daughter with me. She's precious."

Leyla glanced down at the child, now back to being absorbed by her bag of things. "She is my greatest treasure. Thank you for the time you give."

Looking very much like he wanted to say more, Shawn took a step back instead. "My pleasure. See you around Leyla."

"Yes," she said quietly, "I hope we will." Then she collected her daughter and headed for the car. His visit had left her with much to think about.

 **NCIS**

Ziva returned home from yet another trip to Maryland to visit their horses - though this time she had to settle for feeding Jax and Jules cookies, petting them, and sharing their company only as she was in no shape to be handling tack or getting into a saddle - to find Adrian sitting on her front steps. Slowing her pace, Ziva approached him warily. "Adrian, is something the matter?"

He looked up at the sound of her voice. "It's been a month," he said quietly.

Her brow furrowed. "A month since..."

Adrian jolted to his feet. "A month since Tony left and you're all by yourself and it's not fair and I'm worried about you!"

Ziva was very aware of how long her husband had been gone but the pity party she allowed herself two days ago was long over. "You do not have to worry Adrian," she began in a soothing tone, laying her hand on his arm. "I can take care of myself."

He shoved his hands in his pockets. "So D said. But Ziva, we're responsible for you while he's away. It's what family does. So is there anything I can help with?"

The pleading tone made Ziva wish she could think of something for him to do, but their home was still relatively new and required little extra maintenance beyond the normal upkeep. She bit her lip. "Nothing comes to mind, I am sorry."

Adrian looked deflated for a moment, then brightened. "You could come home with me, share a late dinner with Em and I." Her expression must've nixed that one, but he pressed on. "Or I could buy you a tea and we could take Meira for a walk? Please Ziva. I have to do something!"

If she was going to refuse, she could not after that. Ziva dipped her chin. "Tea would be lovely, thank you. I will get Meira." She started past him. "What about the rule?" Getting tea and doing a walk would take more than ten minutes.

Adrian already had his phone out. "Em knows I'm here. I'll just text her with the plan."

Nodding, Ziva moved into the house, greeted her dog, and grabbed the leash. "Come motek. It seems we are to have company tonight."

Ready and waiting when they came out, Adrian knelt to pet Meira. "Hey there pretty girl, mind if I tag along?" She licked his chin and Adrian chuckled. "Okay then. Shall we ladies?"

Ziva directed Meira with a soft command. "Yemima." _Right_. To her companion she said, "There is a bakery not too many blocks away where Tony and I like to stop in."

"Sounds good to me."

They filled the walk with chit-chat about work and the gang and once at Baked to Perfection, Adrian took out his wallet and talked her into one of the last donuts to go with their hot drinks. Ziva made introductions between Adrian and the owners, Finn and Fia O'Shea. They were a jovial middle aged Irish couple who knew she and Tony as regulars and Ziva didn't want any misunderstanding. Fia threw in two extra donuts for free while Finn slipped Meira a couple dog biscuits from the stash he kept behind the counter. It was just the kind of people they were.

Once back outside and sipping her perfectly doctored tea as they sat on the bench, Ziva glanced at Adrian. "Thank you for doing this." Tony would so appreciate the effort his friends were making to take care of her. She would be sure to mention that when he returned home.

Adrian leaned elbows on his knees and gave her a half-smile. "I know what it's like to be alone Ziva. I just couldn't stand the thought of you being by yourself all the time. We don't want you to be lonely if we can help."

Ziva pinched off a piece of donut. "Before NCIS, before Tony, I was always alone. My job was often solitary and even when I worked with a partner I never really connected with anyone. Tony..." her lips curved slightly, "even now I cannot say why I let him in, except perhaps because he would not take no for an answer. His persistence intrigued me. And then as I got to know him I realized there was so much he never let others see."

"That's our D," Adrian agreed, "the master of getting people to underestimate him."

She nodded. "Yes, that is a good way to describe it. He puts on a front and lets people assume that is all he is. Sometimes it bothers me that Tony seems content to leave things as they are. He does not get the credit or respect he deserves because he won't allow them see what he has become."

"Tony's good at the act, had to be the way he grew up. And he fooled all of us with it, for awhile. But eventually we saw the kind of man he was." Adrian ran his fingers through his already tousled mop. "I know that better than anyone."

"There seems to be a debt between the two of you," Ziva observed. No one had ever come right out and said anything, but she'd pieced together a few of the things Tony had casually mentioned from college days and figured out that much. "Am I allowed to know what it is my husband did for you?"

He took some time to think about it. "I'm not proud of the story Ziva, I don't tell it to many people. And it's not personal, I trust you like I trust every member of the gang, but some things I just don't like to repeat."

Her answering smile was faint. "I am familiar with that feeling."

Adrian nodded. "Thanks. Maybe someday you'll hear the whole thing. But the heart of it is," he let out a breath, "Tony saved my life Ziva. I will never not owe him for that."

She rested a hand on his forearm. "Tony would say being part of his family is more than enough payback."

The photograph shrugged. "That's why he deserves anything and everything I can give."

Soon after that the small group headed home and when Adrian escorted her to the door, Ziva kissed his cheek. "Thank you Adrian. The way you all care...it means a lot."

Adrian grinned and backed away. "Anytime Pocahontas. See you around."

He waved and Meira wagged her tail. Ziva crouched and ruffled her ears. "We have very good friends motek. That is what I will tell Tony in the journal tonight." The date suddenly registered and she sighed while lifting her gaze to the stars. "But first I have a call to make. It is my turn to do something for another."

 **NCIS**

The phone rang while Abby was lacing up her boots to leave - she wore them until it was necessary to switch to bowling shoes for her practice with the nuns. "This is Abby," she chirped into the phone without checking caller ID, hoping it was McGee. He sometimes came as her cheering section and extra time together was always a bonus.

"Hello Abby."

Placing the quietly accented voice immediately, her brow creased. "You never call me Ziva, is something wrong?"

A long pause followed and the Israeli sighed. "I am sorry, that I never call. I have not been a very good friend."

Abby shook her head. "That's not what I meant. We all know how much free time there isn't outside of work." She dropped to the sofa in a cloud of poodle skirt and tulle. "What can I do for you?"

Ziva reached forward and sifted her fingers through Meira's coat. The dog lifted her head, slapped her tail on the ground a few times, and yawned. "I have been thinking about Gibbs and...tomorrow."

"Father's Day." Abby echoed her friend's thoughts.

"Yes. And I wondered if perhaps we...he has said before that we are like his...and I only thought maybe we could...plan something. But do you think it would be too painful to have the day acknowledged? I have no wish to...disturb his memories." Her words petered out. "I do not know."

Trying to follow the half-finished sentences, Abby filled in the gaps and understood. "I don't know either," she admitted, despite having known Gibbs much longer. "What did you have in mind?"

"We could make him breakfast? Spend the morning with him perhaps?"

She sounded very uncertain, Abby noted, which was so out of character for her confident friend. "Ziva, have you ever celebrated Father's Day before?"

There was a moment of silence before she answered. "Even if that was tradition in Israel, I would not have had the same desire for it." With the exception of when she was very small, Eli had not made the role of father one worth commemorating.

Abby chewed on her lip but made the decision not to pry into Ziva's relationship with her dad. Some things were too painful for advice and too far gone to be touched with hope or optimism. "It's nice of you to want to do something for Gibbs."

"He taught me what being a father means," Ziva said quietly. "It seems only right that he should be made to feel special by his...daughters." She thought about it for a moment and something else occurred to her. "I know that you...lost your father Abby. Will it bother you to celebrate the day again?"

She thought about the things she and her brother used to do to spoil their dad in June each year. "No," the goth returned softly. "Gibbs' has been filling that role for a long time. This wouldn't be the first time I've tried to show him that, though usually it's after the actual day and I call it a belated Father's Day celebration." Abby tugged on one of her braided pigtails. "I think it's a good idea Ziva. What time should we go over?"

As they talked and planned Ziva felt her heart lighten a bit. It felt good to be doing something for someone else for a change. Too much time lately had been spent focused on herself. That was one thing that definitely needed to change no matter how long Tony was away. Something to think about for sure.

 **NCIS**

Saturday evening came a little too quickly for Tim, who stood fidgeting outside his boss' house wiping damp palms on his jeans. Abby hadn't been around earlier when he stopped by, which was just as well. He'd spent a majority of the day setting up the computer, removing everything except the basics so it wouldn't look too overwhelming, downloading Skype, making an account for Gibbs (he hoped he hadn't overstepped by choosing a screenname for his boss), and painstakingly writing out instructions a five year old could follow so everything would work without his immediate supervision.

He had to knock a second time before Gibbs actually opened the door, looking him up and down and turning away. "Come in."

"Th-thank you Boss," McGee stammered, swallowing. He followed Gibbs into the livingroom and took a seat on the couch, lowering his backpack carefully to the floor. Unzipping the pouch and drawing out a shiny new computer with Marine green lid, Tim put it on the coffee table, shifting slightly when Gibbs joined him. It booted up in mere seconds and McGee navigated to the Skype icon on a desktop picture of a sailboat on the water heading into the setting sun. "Okay, so this is what you click on to open the program." He glanced sideways at the older man. "You do have high-speed internet, right?" One thing he wondered while researching a laptop for Gibbs was if the man had even thought about needing internet to run Skype. He hoped the answer was yes, that wasn't likely something he could get set up over the weekend.

Gibbs scowled at his agent. He didn't like being checked on. "Yup," he growled. He was tired and in a good frame of mind to be crusty after spending close to eleven hours finishing the twin bed frames today, and a computer lesson was the last thing he wanted. But he was determined to do this for Celeste and forced himself to relax. "Show me."

McGee double-clicked on the simple 'S' in a bubble-like shape and it came up with the name and password screen. He cleared his throat. "Uh...I already made one up for you Boss. Hope you don't mind." He slid over the piece of paper that listed 'gunny1974' as the username and noformermarines as the password. Gibbs looked at the offering and grunted, which McGee took as agreement. "I've set your information as private and didn't bother with a profile picture since you're only using this for one person. And I already tested it with a recording, everything seems to be working fine."

The only indication Gibbs gave that he was still following was the intense stare that made even agents start to sweat. McGee started rambling. "For the most part Skype is pretty easy to use, just click on your contact and make a call. So the first thing we have to do is add a contact for you." This was the part Tim found a little bit disconcerting - getting personal information out of Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He went to contacts and got ready to type in the search box. "What's your friend's email address?"

In answer Gibbs repeated the one she'd given him years ago if he ever wanted to 'drop her a line sometime'. It was really more of a joke because she knew how he felt about computers and email. Thankfully he knew how she felt about change and was reasonably confident the information would still be the same. Some things just stuck in his head, details about Celeste's life was one of them. " ."

"Celeste Casey?" McGee remembered being asked to check that name on a flight manifest a few months ago. He still couldn't place why it sounded familiar but didn't push his luck by asking. Instead he hit 'Search Skype' and waited for the results. Her screen name appeared as 'writeyourstory' and suddenly it hit him. "Wait...Celeste Casey, the editor?" Who knew Gibbs ran in those kinds of circles? His boss's dark glare seemed to bore into the side of his head and Tim swallowed nervously. "Right, still none of my business. Never mind." But that didn't stop him from wondering how Gibbs ever got to be friends with a lady like that and trying to decide how fast he'd get fired if he mentioned any of this to Abby. Nothing would make her happier than to have the inside scoop on Gibbs and a woman.

He added Celeste to the contacts list and explained the next part to his boss. "Now we have to send a short message to introduce you. She'll be added to your contact list but her status stays as offline until she accepts your request. Then you can make a video call anytime she's online."

Gibbs scowled. "How can I tell if she's online?"

McGee indicated the symbol beside Celeste's username. "There will be a green check mark here if she's available. It'll stay as a question mark until she accepts the friend request." The older man nodded and McGee poised his fingers to type. "What do you want to say?"

Hating that he was about to give away some personal details, Gibbs reluctantly dictated, "Les, it's me. Say yes. Don't forget tea." The 'Les' would give away his identity, the 'tea' part was so she knew for sure it was him. Traditions made good safe words.

To his credit, Tim sent the message without another word and they sat there in semi-awkward silence for several minutes before Celeste accepted the request and a green check mark appeared beside her name in Gibbs' contact list. They stared at the screen and he squinted. "Now what?"

Tim's next step was to quickly add himself as a contact, then he turned on his own computer and pointed Gibbs back to the list of instructions he'd written out. "Try to call me Boss. We'll make sure it's functioning properly and you'll get some practice with the steps."

Slowly, because it was hard to teach an old dog new tricks, Gibbs followed McGee's list and successfully completed a Skype call. They hung up quickly and McGee pointed back to his boss's screen. "I'd just stay signed into Skype to make it easier and faster. And if you're signed in then you can receive calls too. You'll see message pop up that will tell you a call is coming in and you click the answer button to take it or the end button to decline it." He rubbed his hands on his pants again. "Umm...any questions?"

Gibbs shook his head once, then asked even though he felt stupid to make sure he knew how to turn the laptop on and off. He hadn't used one since the model in his basement was brand new. McGee explained the process quickly, after which he packed up his things and stood. "I guess I'll be going now."

Uncomfortable with asking for help and saying thank you, he nonetheless swallowed his pride again to do the latter. He held out his hand to the younger man. "Thanks Tim."

McGee shook his hand with wide eyes and nodded. "Sure Boss. Anytime." Then he winced like he really didn't want to go through this again and beat a hasty retreat before his boss could say anything else.

Gibbs sank down onto the couch and stared at Celeste's screen name. He could imagine the bewilderment she felt right now and would be surprised if she didn't call him later to find out what on earth was going on. Unfortunately that was one call he'd have to decline. He was bound and determined to surprise her, not even the birthday girl would be allowed to spoil his plans. He leaned back with a self-satisfied smile. This was going to be fun.

 _Replies:_

 _PS. I'm so excited to have names for all my guest reviewers now! Thanks guys! :)_

 _PPS. Sorry these are um...months late :S_

 _Edwina - Hi! Thanks for reviewing! I'm so glad you enjoyed the chapter. T &Z's vacation will come during the second week of August in story time, which translates roughly to Ch 11. At least they have something to look forward to. Thanks! ~Aliyah_

 _Kassie - You're very welcome. I'm really glad you hear you're enjoying the stories. Well, at the moment WLB sits at 12 chapters. Yes, it is very difficult to write them separated, makes motivation hard to come by sometimes because neither one of them is in a happy place when they're without the other. Oh, I have a lot planned for Season 9 once they're reunited, that will be much more fun to write! And I very much look forward to getting to that part. Thank you, I appreciate your support. I am literally forcing time into my schedule to write since it hasn't magically appeared over the last several months and things for been dragging out for an unacceptable amount of time :( Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Sue Dooley - Thank you :) It's always nice to hear that the chapters are being enjoyed. I have such fun with these characters so I'm glad I'm not the only one. You're welcome. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Debbie - I'm glad you liked that. It's good to explore the Z &M relationship now and then, they make nice friends. G&Z are always a great combination for me and I love how their relationship keeps getting closer and closer. Poor Tony indeed. Watching him apart from the others really breaks my heart. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_

 _Dani - Well, first of all I have to say that Ireland is one of my favourite places in the world. Okay...I've never actually been there, but I've wanted to go for most of my life. I love pretty much everything Celtic related, so I'm honoured to have a reader from the Emerald Isle :) I'm glad you're enjoying the series and looking forward to more, my sincerest apologies that everything is taking so long. Much of it is out of my control but I'm trying to get back to this story. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Jul 9) - Hi! Me too but they won't be reunited for good until the first chapter of Part 6, so we've got some waiting ahead of us yet. I'll do my best, I wish I could say exactly when the next post will be because I hate always leaving it up in the air. Thank you. Right now I'm having a summer that's been so busy I've barely had time to notice it is summer! I really thought I'd be able to make more time to write over the summer but as it is this is the first time I've really been able to sit down and work on the story since the end of April when I posted the last chapter. Sometimes I go days and weeks without turning on my computer and it's literally been months since I've done more than glance at the story. But I hate excuses so I will just do my best in the days to come. Have a good last month of summer! Thanks so much for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Jul 12) - Hi! I'm so glad to hear that! I can never promise when the next update will come, but I'm trying very hard to get back to the story because I do love it and all the people who are following it. I've got some surprises planned for T &Z in the upcoming days but I'm with you, I do miss them together. Oh man, I am so looking forward to S9 and the week off from work that will be pretty much all Tiva all the time while he recuperates from his assignment. Thanks so much for reviewing! ~Aliyah PS. I'd love to have a name to reply to, if you don't mind leaving one next time you drop by. Thanks!_

 _knackpl - Oh wow, that is a lot of reading for a few weeks! Thank you so much! I'm always honoured when people invest so much of their time in reading something I've poured my heart into. Thank you, that's nice of you to say. I'm working on a plan to get back to updating but it might still be a little slow. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest (Aug 2) - I am doing my best! I'm so sorry for the long wait, I feel terrible about it. I miss the regular update too. Life has been a series of 50-60+ hour weeks and I just can't seem to grab hold of the time I used to have. But I'm working on that, we'll see how it goes. Thank you, I'm so glad you're enjoying the series. Haha...the big reveal is a loooong time away right now and I'm still divided on exactly what reactions will be like. But I definitely already have a lot of it planned. I hope it will be worth the wait. Thank you so much for reviewing! It means a lot to me that people are still hanging around when I've had to make y'all wait so long for updates. ~Aliyah PS. If you want to leave your name next time or sign in, I love to know what to call my guests._


	7. Part 7 - June 2011

**Saturday June 18 continued** \- T away from DC

As predicted, that night Gibbs found a message from Celeste on his phone when he came in from watering his garden. It began with a sigh and then, "You've got some explaining to do Jethro. Since when do you even own a computer? Especially one capable of utilizing today's technology?" He could imagine her furrowed brow and the confusion written on her expression and bit back a smile. He was definitely going to hear about this later. "Well, obviously your machine isn't going to tell me anything so I guess I'll just have to wait until Mond-whenever you're able to call." She'd corrected the assumption quickly, as if trying not to expect that she'd hear from him on her birthday. Boy did she have another thing coming! Gibbs was going to make his Celeste feel special on her special day if it was the last thing he did.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday June 19** \- T away from DC

Father's Day dawned bright and sunny and saw Ziva and Abby meeting at Gibbs' house shortly before 8 am, armed with the supplies they needed to observe the day. They were juggling bags and boxes and laughing softly when Gibbs finally got around to opening the door. He eyed them both with an expression somewhere between wary and glaring but was saved having to come up with a greeting when the girls grinned and said together, almost as if they'd rehearsed it, "Happy Father's Day Gibbs!"

He didn't seem to know what to say to that so they simply eased past him and headed into the kitchen to start setting things up, leaving Gibbs to close the door behind them and wonder if there was a way out of whatever they were planning. "Ziva, did you bring balloons?" Abby called from the livingroom where she had already unrolled marine green streamers and was starting to hang a banner.

"They are in the blue bag," the Israeli answered as she located the pan she was looking for in the drawer under Gibbs' stove. She stood up suddenly. "Oh! I could not find the decorating gel I thought I had. I must have thrown it out when I moved. Did you have any?"

Abby pulled a handful out of her purse. "Do you want red, black, blue, or silver?"

Ziva chuckled and took two of them. "Of course you would have more than one colour."

The oven was preheating and the banner had been joined by three balloons before Gibbs' tongue started working. He stood in the space between the livingroom and kitchen with his hand on his hips. "Someone want to tell me what's going on here?"

The girls exchanged glances and Abby took this one. She walked over and looped her arm through one of his. "We came to celebrate with you Papa Bear!" She jumped up and down a little, huge grin pasted on her face. "It's going to be so much fun!"

Ziva, feeling a little more cautious and wondering if they were trespassing on sacred ground, left her baking preparations and joined them. "If you want us to," she said carefully, "Abby and I would very much like to do Father's Day with you, since you have stood in that place for us for a long time now." She twisted her fingers together, gaze skipping around the room where their plans were already leaving a mark. "But if you would rather not Abba, we do not have to stay."

Abby frowned at her wording. "Of course we need to stay Ziva! It wouldn't be a party without us." The Israeli cut her eyes to Gibbs with a brief glance at Shannon and Kelly's picture on the mantlepiece and their forensic scientist's face fell. "Oh...right." She stared at the floor a moment and back at their boss. "Would you like us to stay?"

Gibbs couldn't resist that look on her face and kissed her temple. "You're always welcome Abbs." He held out an arm to Ziva who gladly went to him for a half-hug. "You too Ziver." He had to swallow past the lump in his throat. "Thanks...for thinking of me. It's...been a long time."

Ziva moved back to look at him. "Are we making it worse Abba, the memories?"

Gibbs' blue eyes were also drawn to the snapshot of his family, then he shook his head. "Nah kid, this is a good thing." They let the silence rest a moment, then he cleared his throat and took in their efforts. "What can I help with?"

"We need to blow up more balloons-"

"If you want to stir the batter-"

Abby and Ziva stopped and laughed when their words came out at the same time, then they compromised with Gibbs being Ziva's kitchen assistant first and then all of them contributing to the decorating while the cake cooked. They enjoyed some lemonade and sunshine on the back porch while everything cooled, then Ziva excused herself to do icing and embellishments while Abby and Gibbs stayed outside. The goth, who never had any problem filling the silence, this time chose her words very carefully.

She drained the last third of her glass and licked her lips, glancing sideways at the silver haired man she loved so much. "Ziva calls you 'Abba'."

His gaze quickly swung from the rose bushes to her and he nodded slowly. "Yeah. She asked if I'd mind, after she came back. She doesn't have anybody Abbs, I'm proud to claim her." His fingers wrapped around hers. "Just like I claimed you."

A brief smile quirked Abby's lips and she stared out at the yard. "I'll always miss my dad and regret my last words to him, but you filled that place for me Gibbs, long before you ever knew it was empty."

Gibbs switched from English to ASL. _You were the first to crawl inside my heart. I'll always love you for that._

She pointed at him. _I love you for seeing past everything on the outside and figuring out what I needed when even I wasn't sure._

Ziva knocked on the window above the sink and motioned them to come inside. Gibbs offered his hand to help Abby up and she couldn't help but remember Tony's reaction to seeing she and Gibbs signing. _You know if Tony were here he would just complain about this._

Gibbs shook his head. _Don't ever tell him, but I'm starting to miss it._

Abby held her hand in the 'Y' shape and moved it back and forth between them. _Me too._

Ziva let them have a good look at the rectangular cake - white icing with silver stars and blue lettering proclaiming Happy Father's Day Gibbs! - before she cut it into neat squares and served pieces to them on small plates. "I suppose ten o'clock in the morning could be considered too early for cake, but this is a special occasion."

Gibbs kissed her cheek for the effort and took a large bite, speaking around a mouthful. "Good cake."

The girls giggled at his lack of manners and they all went back outside to enjoy the beautiful day and each other's company. By prior agreement they didn't stay too long - things were packed up and put away before lunch - but both got a very heartfelt hug from their father figure before they left, which made the whole thing worth it for them. And even though Gibbs spent the rest of the hours remaining that day building and painting the last few items on his list for Kelly's room, he did it with a happy heart. The time was spent remembering the too few years of having this day with hi natural daughter, and the effort put in by the ones he'd chosen. It was hard to make a man feel more special than Abby and Ziva had done for him today.

 **NCIS**

Sunday afternoon found Ziva out front of the house carefully inspecting the colourful flowers in her windowboxes that were just starting to bloom. She fingered one of the delicate blossoms and glanced around the yard, remembering a note she'd found on her return home Friday night after McKenna's recital. She must've been too out of it from the laser treatment to notice earlier and pulled it off with much less trepidation than she'd felt with the first. She was still learning to distinguish the frat brothers' writing and smiled at seeing a scrawled name on the bottom that spoke of too many years signing autographs for fans.

 _Lawn's mowed. Now you can read a book this weekend instead - Darien_. He must've come while she was at work in the morning, having no way of knowing that her schedule would be so out of the ordinary that day. Ziva very well could've caught him at his good deed, but that would've spoiled their fun so she was glad the timing had worked out. And she was grateful for the things they'd decided to take responsibility for because, to her chagrin, she realized she could've easily gone the entire summer without thinking to look after their lawn. It was such a little thing, but Tony had always kept up the maintenance of their house and yard except for the flowerbeds they liked to do together.

Sinking onto the soft, shorter green carpet Ziva brought her knees up and rested her chin on them, wondering what the others were up to today. She'd received the email earlier in the week announcing that their regular Sunday afternoon basketball ritual was suspended this time to give the families a chance to celebrate Father's Day together. It seemed that no matter how far away she stayed, they never stopped expecting her to show up for the things that had become hard and fast traditions in the almost two years since she'd returned from the dead so to speak.

Guilt came easily when she recalled the invitations from Cassie to spend time with the gang that she'd turned down in the last month, like a barbeque the first week and their berry picking day just yesterday. Logically Ziva knew that she was not helping anything by isolating herself. It had even occurred to her that spending time with the others would be a nice distraction and being mothered a little by Cassie might be comforting. But her husband was so woven into the fabric of the gang that she couldn't help but see the gaping hole in their group whenever she was there without him.

Four years of living in the same house and dorm rooms had cemented a similar sort of humour amongst six very different personalities and they sometimes still missed a step, expecting Tony to jump in with a tried and true line or the best part of one of their many inside jokes. Ziva missed him enough for all of them, it was too hard to watch the rest of them do the same. And even though the children never ceased to make her feel welcome and part of the family, they were also waiting along with everyone else for Tony to walk into the house or get out of the car with her so things could get back to the way they always were. She tired of seeing those expectant looks fall whenever she came alone, few as those times had been so far.

With a sigh Ziva pushed herself up and went inside to get Meira's leash. What she wanted was to go for a run. Since the state of her back made that a current impossibility, she would have to settle for a long walk instead. She wondered how far they would get before her pet began to protest. No matter how far away she went, it was never far enough.

 **NCIS**

That night Tony slouched on the couch, one foot up on the coffee table as he worked his way through yet another newspaper crossword puzzle. He couldn't bring himself to watch movies yet, just wasn't feeling it, and he had to do something to keep his mind occupied or he'd drive himself crazy either trying to figure out his assignment (which seemed next to impossible) or thinking about Ziva (a luxury and heartache he tried not to allow or indulge in even with self-control running low after a full month away from her.

Crosswords brought to mind the time he and Gibbs and Ziva had kidnapped the arms dealer Goliath and tricked him into thinking they were delivering him to unimpressed parties. Tony remembered the fun of that afternoon - how impressive and slightly frightening it had been to witness his wife in full on Mossad stealth mode, the enjoyment in her expression after a successful mission, their rapid banter on the plane with Gibbs uncharacteristically joining in, her eyes sparking when she spat threats at the enemy of Israel in her native tongue, and the frustration of being in such close quarters and having to censor everyth-

"No! Dang it," he grumbled. There he went thinking about Ziva again. Unsurprising when she'd been part of almost every hour of his life for the last five plus years, keeping his thoughts elsewhere was proving just as difficult as he'd expected.

Forcing attention back to the paper, Tony read his next clue. "Nine letter word for someone at the end of his rope and grasping at straws." D-E-S-P-E-R-A-T-E. He dropped his head back against the cushions and groaned, then threw everything on the table and shot to his feet. "Think I'll go shoot some hoops," he muttered to Ziva's bear, feeling very much like Tom Hanks in _Castaway_ talking to his faithful volleyball friend Wilson. He didn't need another reminder of his current state of mind. In regards to his wife, desperate was exactly how he felt.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday June 20** \- T away from DC

During her lunch break Ziva stepped into an empty conference room and dialed the well known number for Ops. If not for her recent laser treatment she would be heading to the gym later that evening and the daily habit she'd cultivated ever since her first day back to work after the Cobb fiasco - and especially needed during these trying times - would be very hard to give up until her back wasn't so sore.

She rubbed her forehead and counted the rings 1...2...3... Last night's dark, desert infected dream pressed in close and her eyes popped open, seeking the security of sunlight to reassure herself that Somalia was dead and buried. Absently fingering her 'Z' necklace, Ziva heard Duke's voice on the answering machine and sighed with relief. She'd planned to talk to him in person but this would definitely be easier.

"Hello Duke, this is Ziva. I wanted to let you know I will not be in this week. Something has...come up. I hope to return next week as usual." Hanging up without goodbye, she dug out the pills she'd pushed into her pocket earlier and cracked open a new bottle of water to swallow them. Part of her hated the concession of taking pain medication simply because she was still hurting from the procedure, the other part was grateful for the escape they provided.

Gibbs happened by at that moment and frowned, knowing how hard it was usually to get her to admit to needing something. "Headache Ziver?"

Startled, her head came up and she looked blankly down at the water. "Uh...no," she said simply, turning towards the bullpen.

Swirling the coffee in his cup, Gibbs took a long drink and thought about his agent's unexplained behaviour over the past couple days - her use of ice packs, the way she winced when she moved too quickly (too similar to how it was when she first came home from Africa), the dark circles under her eyes hinting of less than restful nights - all of which had prompted him to keep her on desk duty today, taking McGee with him instead when they had a tip to run down on an older case. The fact that she didn't argue the decision concerned him even more. He didn't know what was going on because she wasn't sharing, but whatever was making the changes Gibbs didn't like it, not one little bit.

 **NCIS**

A month had gone by and aside from straightening her hair, nothing else had changed. That night after work Ziva felt the need to do something different and stopped by a salon that was open late and took drop ins. She waited in one of the chairs, sitting sideways to avoid pressure on her back, alternately flipping through a mindless fashion magazine and staring out the window until her name was called. "G'day," the rather young looking Australian girl greeted her, "my name is Narelle. What can I get you?"

Having thought about this question since she arrived, Ziva held out a section of hair to examine. "How long must it be to donate?"

Narelle combed her fingers down the length of Ziva's dark mane. "Eight inches as the least. That would take it almost to your shoulders, pretty drastic."

"Do it," she nodded determinedly. "I am in need of a change."

"Suit yourself." The hairdresser measured it out and put in a ponytail right below the line. "You sure?" Narelle asked one last time, scissors at the ready.

Ziva closed her eyes. "Yes," she confirmed with finality.

A few quick snips and Narelle held up the ponytail as slightly ragged ends swished just below Ziva's shoulders. "Step one: Complete."

"Oh." Ziva fingered the strands, staring at her reflection. "I cannot remember the last time it was so short."

"I could put a few layers in it after I clean up the ends, give it a bit of shape," Narelle offered.

"It has been the same so long I am not even sure what I want." Ziva tilted her head. "My hair is naturally wavy, it has always had its own style."

"You'll never know if you don't try," came the girl's philosophical answer.

"Very well," the Israeli agreed.

She left the salon an hour later feeling very different indeed, pleased with the strides she was making on her own. Tony would not like any of it, but the only way to keep going was to put him out of her mind as much as possible. If she had to change her appearance to make that happen, it was a sacrifice she was willing to make.

 **NCIS**

By the time he got home on Monday night, Gibbs was starting to feel a bit nervous. He sat on the couch in front of his new computer (the coffee table made a convenient place to set it) and rubbed perspiring palms on his pants. He caught the gesture and chuckled slightly, finding it hard to believe that Leroy Jethro Gibbs was acting like this over a woman. Gibbs stared into space as he recalled a tight hug and fleeting 'I love you' the last time he and Celeste had been together. He'd told himself then that he'd be lucky to make it three months before he couldn't handle being away from her any longer. Come to think of it, his original thought had been to show up in California to surprise his ex-wife on her birthday. But seeing as how they were trying to keep to a much less frantic pace this time, he did feel that he'd chosen the wiser option. Because the next time he saw that woman in person he was going to kiss her good and proper, more than once, and she'd be hard pressed to find a good enough reason to make him let go.

Taking a deep breath, Gibbs unfolded McGee's list of instructions and followed them carefully. Double click on the Skype icon, sign in, click Contacts, choose Celeste, click Video Call button. The screen changed colour and he could hear it ringing just like the paper said it would. Just when he though he couldn't handle waiting another second, Celeste answered the call and stared back at him, almost as good as the real thing. Gibbs didn't even try to stop the smile that claimed his face. "Happy Birthday Les."

She covered her mouth with one hand and he thought he could detect a sheen of tears in her eyes before she smiled back at him. "This is the best birthday present I've gotten in years. Jethro, how did you pull this off?"

Gibbs shrugged one shoulder. "Got a little help from this computer geek I know."

Her smile grew. "Remind me to thank Tim the next time I'm in town."

"That would require you stopping by the office," Gibbs reminded her. "So far I haven't had much luck convincing you."

Celeste swallowed as she tried to strike the right balance in her reply. "I'm warming up to the idea. Try me later."

"I'll do that." Silence fell and they simply drank in the sight of each other. At last Gibbs coughed. "Did you uh...get the rest of your present?" He'd arranged it so everything would arrive later in the evening. Celeste never worked on her birthday but that also made it impossible to predict how she might choose to celebrate it.

She leaned over the side of the comfortable stuffed chair she was sitting in and held them up to the camera. "A gift certificate for my favourite bookstore and a box of my favourite chocolates?" The distinctive gold lettering marked the candy as being from the Edelweiss chocolate factory. Ever since Celeste first discovered the place she'd had a weakness for the handmade chocolates from one of the oldest and premier chocolatiers in LA. She took another small bite from one, determined to make them last as long as possible. "I think you're spoiling me Jethro."

Gibbs snorted. "Haven't you spent the last decade and a half schooling me about how important that kind of thing is on birthdays?"

Smirking, she set her gifts down and got comfortable again. "Perhaps. So thank you for learning what makes me feel special." Celeste tilted her head, bravery warring with hesitation on her expression. "Are you sure you're not courting me?"

He hung his head for a moment. "Getting closer all the time," he muttered to no one in particular. Then Gibbs cleared his throat. "What did you do this year?"

She let him away with the deflection since it was for their own good and leaned forward, eager to share her excitement. "I took a surfing lesson!"

He looked a bit apprehensive. "Again Les? You know what happened last time."

Celeste wrinkled her nose at the reminder of spending a few weeks with her arm in a sling. "The only way to ensure success is to keep trying until you make it."

"That sounds like something you'd tell a client," Gibbs observed. "Well, how did it go this time?"

Her laughter was a little self-depreciating. "I am still terrible at it!" she announced with a bit of chagrin. "But I had a great time. And on my way out of the water I stepped on a sand dollar, so I have a beautiful reminder as a memory for today."

Celeste's discovery made him think of Amira and how she and Mike collected seashells together. Gibbs found he liked that image and blurted it out without running it through a filter first. "I'll have to come to the beach with you sometime. Maybe we'll find a couple treasures together."

For a very brief moment she froze, then relaxed at a hint of the future in his voice. "I really like the way that sounds."

The way she was looking at him with such open adoration was a bit too much when they were a continent apart and Gibbs quickly changed the subject. "Did you get a cupcake today?"

Her eyes said she knew what he was doing but her words played along. "You should know better than to ask me that! I've had a cupcake for my birthday every year since I turned three. It would be a complete impossibility to celebrate without one."

He'd definitely heard that before. Birthdays were very important to Celeste. Maybe next year he'd be able to give her something shiny and expensive, this year those were dangerous thoughts. "Okay, what kind did you try?"

Celeste looked a little guilty. "Well...I didn't necessarily stop at one."

"Oh?" Not that it really surprised him, she liked dessert as much as anyone else with a sweet tooth.

She rearranged her position when Lexie came over to join her, then had to quickly lurch forward to catch the dog when she tried to lick the screen to say hello to Gibbs. He gave her a small wave. "Hey Lex, you bein' good?" Lexie whined and strained against her mistress's hold, trying to get closer. "Sorry I can't pet you from here little lady, it doesn't quite work that way."

Celeste eventually got her dog settled but Lexie was clearly not happy to be able to see Gibbs only and have no other interaction. "Sorry about that. Where were we?"

"You were avoiding telling me exactly how much sugar you consumed today."

"Oh, right." She leaned her head on her hand. "There's this great little place called The Georgetown Bakery, it's where I go when I'm feeling nostalgic and a bit homesick. One of their specials today was a salted caramel cupcake and it was delicious. I even put a candle in it and blew it out."

That sounded just like her. "What did you wish for?"

Celeste's mouth fell open. "I can't tell you that! Then it won't come true!"

Gibbs tried really hard not to laugh at her mock outrage and swallowed back his mirth with great effort. "Of course. And the second thing you tried?"

She looked like she'd been hoping he would forget but he shook his head at her. Rolling her eyes, Celeste reached off camera and brought back a little jar. "It's called cake in a jar, I couldn't resist. This one is cookies and cream." She sampled another bite, closed her eyes in bliss, then finally looked back at him. "Lexie and I will have to take extra long walks for the rest of the week to make up for today."

Gibbs bit his tongue to keep from saying she probably didn't have anything to worry about in that regard. He wasn't necessarily supposed to be doing that kind of looking yet. But it was hot in California and Celeste had an affinity for brightly coloured tank tops to go with her capris. The lady did not look at all like someone who just had her forty-nineth birthday. "I'm glad you had a good time today Les."

Her gaze shadowed. "I really miss birthdays with my family Jethro."

He knew the feeling. "Have you talked to Brice lately?" Her younger brother was all that was left of her family with their parents gone.

That brought a little of her smile back. "Yeah. He called me this morning. Woke me up to sing 'Happy Birthday' like Mom always used to do. It was a good memory. And he found someone who grows lilacs who could send me some so I had my favourite flowers to start the day."

"Sounds like a good way to do it." But Gibbs still felt bad for her. It made the day just a little harder when there was no one really close to observe it with. He was all the way in DC and Brice lived in Hawaii. It was just over a five hour flight and not overly expensive, but they still only got to see one another once a year if they were lucky. His job was high pressure and kept him extremely busy and Celeste's career, though a bit more flexible, usually filled most of her time as well.

There was no use feeling sorry for herself. Celeste pushed away the sadness that was building and flashed him a genuine smile. "You've been the best part of my birthday Jethro. Thank you."

Gibbs dragged a hand over his face. "No fair saying something like that when I'm so far away," he lamented, wanting to hug her.

"Maybe not, but it's safer this way." She knew if he was in the room right now she'd have an incredibly hard time not throwing herself into his arms. And that wasn't quite in the cards...yet.

Clearing his throat, he tried to move them away from the topic. "Want to do this sometimes, video calls instead of the usual?"

Pleased with the suggestion, Celeste nodded. "Once a month maybe?" She didn't want to take away from the times when they needed only the phone line between them because they had to discuss difficult topics and it was easier when they didn't have to make eye contact. Those conversations were an important part of the process too.

"Okay." He took a moment just to look at her, having missed his ex-wife/best female friend more than he realized. "I better go Les. But it was...really good to see you."

"You too." She barely held back the 'I love you' on the tip of her tongue, always reminding herself that she could say it freely as much as she wanted once Gibbs took his turn. "Sweet dreams Jethro."

Gibbs made sure she could see his heart in his eyes. "Oh, they will be. G'night Les." Then he quickly clicked the End Call button to hang up before he could get them into any trouble by saying more. Once the screen went blank he flopped back against the cushions and ran his fingers through his hair. His gaze drifted to the mantle where the Father's Day card Abby and Ziva made sat, along with one he'd surreptitiously removed when they invaded. Celeste had sent it for his birthday at the beginning of May - a cute cartoon picture of Mickey Mouse on a sailboat and inside she'd written: _To my favourite shipwright, have a wonderful day even if you don't celebrate and try not to work too hard. I'll be thinking of you on your special day. Love, Celeste_.

There'd been a gift card inside for his favourite coffee shop. She'd also, to his surprise, had flowers delivered to his door. Gibbs couldn't remember if he'd ever gotten flowers from a lady before and had concluded that girls weren't the only ones who could feel special when someone was putting out that kind of effort. He'd thanked her in an extra phone call that night and loved the way her voice sounded in response to his gratitude. They really were working towards something special and tonight while he spent another several hours in his basement painting furniture, that would be the thought he'd hold onto. Slowly but surely they were getting somewhere real and Gibbs was really looking forward to their final destination.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday June 21** \- T away from DC

"Whoa Ziva," was Tim's first reaction when she walked into the bullpen the next morning. "Your hair."

She pasted on a smile and slowly turned in a circle. "What do you think?"

His eyebrows rose. She rarely asked anyone else's opinion on her appearance, though Tony always gave his without request. "Nice, but different. It's going to take some getting used to. I've never seen you with shorter hair before. Why the change?"

Ziva fingered the ends, remembering how she used too much shampoo earlier because she forgot about having less hair and running her fingers through it during brushing, surprised when she got to the bottom so fast. "I have thought about donating my hair to a worthy cause for a long time and finally did. Besides, something lighter for the summer might be nice."

Gibbs rounded the corner, coffee in hand. "Grab your gear- Ziver."

Offering a smile, she reached for the NCIS backpack that had only just been put down. "Good morning Gibbs."

He lifted his hand towards her face and brushed a few dark strands back. "Looks good."

Ziva nodded. "Thank you."

Piercing blue eyes scrutinized hers, perhaps searching for something that caused the change. Then he jerked his head towards the elevator. "Let's go."

She slung the pack over one shoulder and dug a hair elastic out of her pocket, gathering her hair into a much smaller high bun while following the others out. It was time to get to work.

 **NCIS**

Jimmy caught her as she left Autopsy later, carrying with her Ducky's finding on their latest body. "Ziva, hold the elevator." She did and he joined her, flashing a grin and holding up an evidence bag. "For Abby."

Ziva smiled and pushed the button for Basement Level 1 where Abby's lab resided. "We have not talked recently. How is Breena?"

His expression glowed at the mention of a certain fiancee. "Really good. Busy, so we don't always see as much of each other as I'd like." Jimmy looked down. "She was...my lifeline after what happened last month with..." He waved his hand, leaving her to fill in the blanks.

She nodded in understanding. "How are you?"

The tone was serious, care infused in her quiet words. Jimmy shrugged one shoulder. "I'm showering again. It might not seem like a big deal but water..." He cleared his throat. "The, uh...nightmares are still a problem. But I guess I'm getting there."

Ziva touched his shoulder. "I know what that is like. I am sorry you had to experience it."

He shifted uncomfortably. "It's not as bad as..." He trailed off, not willing to mention Somalia. Clearing his throat, Jimmy changed the subject. "Hey Ziva, would you like to join Breena and I for dinner tonight? We're trying a new restaurant and we'd love to have you come. Breena's always asking me about when she can get to know my co-workers better. We've spent a lot of time with Dr. Mallard and even Abby. I was hoping that maybe Tony..." Jimmy swallowed. "Well, maybe when everything gets back to normal. So, will you come?"

Bumbling offer though it was, Ziva didn't have the heart to turn him down. "Of course. I would enjoy getting better acquainted with your fiancee. It will be nice to see the two of you together."

His grin was back. "Great! I'll tell Bree." Getting off on the right floor, Jimmy offered a small wave. "Look for a text about time and place later."

Smiling in response, Ziva leaned carefully against the wall after the doors closed wondering what exactly she'd gotten herself into and wished her husband was around to be part of the invitation. He would be sorry to miss seeing how much his Autopsy Gremlin had grown up.

 **NCIS**

Cassie did her best to tough it out for Claire's lesson but by the end she could barely conceal how truly awful she felt. Putting on what she hoped looked like a genuine smile - they were in such a better place now than a few months ago and even more so after McKenna's recital last week - Cassie nodded. "That was really good Claire. You've improved so much since March."

"It's only because I have such a good teacher," The older woman countered, looking affectionately at her stepdaughter. Both she and Matthew were so thankful for the strides they'd made in their relationship since January. Cassie nodded vaguely and Claire wondered where her thoughts had gone. "But I know Mark will be home any minute so I won't keep you. I'll be back on Thursday. Let us know if there's any special instructions for the kids this weekend."

Cassie forced herself to focus on the conversation. "This weekend..." Something niggled at her brain. "Oh, that's right. Did you want to get them just before supper instead of from school? It's the last day so Mark and I like to follow up and see how things went before they're away. And we need them back for four-thirty on Saturday."

Already making a note in her little book Claire nodded, then glanced up hopefully. "Any chance we can steal them a little bit extra during summer vacation? You know how your father adores those children and I am so enjoying being 'Grandma'." She paused. "I hope that wasn't insensitive."

In an acute amount of discomfort, Cassie still made the effort to reassure. "No. I'm glad they get to experience what having a grandma is like. My mom would've doted on them, but sharing memories of her will never compare with Alec and McKenna being able to make their own. Thank you."

Claire squeezed Cassie's hand and grabbed her bag. "Bye honey."

That sounded enough like Hannah that it made Cassie want to cry. Pushing herself past the thought, she slowly ascended the stairs and grabbed a familiar bottle out of the medicine cabinet before checking to see if she needed to change any pieces of clothing. Thankfully it wasn't too bad, she'd been prepared in case it happened today, and after putting on a comfortable pair of sweatpants and getting her heating pad, Cassie dragged herself downstairs and slumped on the couch, closing her eyes and giving in to misery.

She must've fallen asleep because the next thing she knew soft lips were brushing her forehead. Cassie opened her eyes and saw McKenna standing there. "Hi Ken." Her brow furrowed and she checked her watch. "Oh dear, I'm sorry I wasn't there to meet your bus."

McKenna shrugged. "That's okay. Daddy's home." She set a foil wrapped square in her mom's hand. "He said chocolate would help you feel better. This one's from my treat box."

"Thank you sweetie." Cassie levered herself up and looked around. "I guess I should start thinking about supper." She tugged one of the girl's ever present pigtails. "Got any homework?"

McKenna gave a long suffering sigh. "Math. And maybe Grammar."

She smacked her daughter's bottom lightly. "Get to it then Hugs." Cassie caught McKenna's arm before she got too far. "Hey, I love you."

McKenna grinned and threw her arms around her mother's neck. "Love you Mommy."

Watching the little girl skip away, Cassie's smile slowly faded and she dropped her head into her hands. Two big hands settled on her shoulders. "I know that look."

Cassie glanced back. "Should I apologize for sixteen years of PMS?"

Mark chuckled and pressed a kiss to her hair. "Only if I apologize for being a guy."

She shook her head. "Not necessary."

"Ditto." He sat down beside her. "So, how bad?"

Cassie shrugged. "Miserable. But by sheer willpower I'm sure I can manage supper." She tried to stand and failed. "As soon as I get off the couch." She held out her hand. "Would you be so kind?"

Mark brought her hand to his lips. "I ordered in."

She closed her eyes and let out a breath. "I love you."

"I know."

Cassie slanted a glance at him. "That's a _Star Wars_ quote. You've been hanging around Tony too long."

He bumped her gently. "Who's been hanging around D too long? You recognized the reference."

She sucked in her breath as a cramp took hold and Mark knew enough to keep quiet until she relaxed. "I'm not hungry."

"I didn't think so. We'll just have dinner downstairs. The kids were debating the dinosaur _Ice Age_ or _Toy Story_. You take it easy."

Cassie lay back against the cushions. "I'll owe you one."

"And in about a week, I'll collect," Mark winked at her disgruntled expression and wisely made a quick exit. He probably should've waited until Day 2 to start weaving innuendo into the conversation, but some things were just too hard to resist.

 **NCIS**

Tony was on yet another plane, this time as Greg Moore, when he decided something had to be done. No matter how much he told himself not to think of Ziva and purposely interrupted memories that arose bidden or unbidden, it wasn't working. She was in the forefront of his mind every minute of the day unless he was actively working the case, then she haunted the back of his mind with her smile, her laugh, her teasing jibes for the benefit of the other team members. He couldn't get away from her no matter which way he turned and though he didn't want to get away from thoughts of his wife, they were seriously disrupting his ability to concentrate on his assignment.

Leaning his head back against the seat, Tony remembered how Ziva was when she had too much on her mind - if they'd hit an intimacy wrinkle or she'd had yet another nightmare. It always seemed to help her to spend some time alone in the office pouring out what was bothering her onto the pages of her journal. That outlet was exactly why he was so diligent about making sure she always had a fresh one when the current one ran out. And maybe that was what he should do too. Maybe not a daily journal or event driven one, but a Ziva inspired journal so he could put down on paper everything he was thinking about her. Maybe if he could get it all out of his head, there'd be enough room then for the case to take a little more precedence.

Nodding slightly, Tony patted his pockets until he located a pen, then he reached for a folded, abandoned newspaper section in the pocket of the seat ahead left by a previous passenger. In the blank spaces he began to jot down notes for what he wanted to record, and realized shortly after that most of the notes were actually reasons to add to his 'I love you because' list. He was up to the 960s now, and except for the ones that had been sent to Ziva with flowers - #952 on the bouquet of daisies, #956 on a single daffodil the next week; #958, 959, and 960 attached to a tulip on the anniversary of the first time he told her he loved her, and of course #963 to go with the peony he'd arranged to have delivered tomorrow - the rest had just been swimming around in his head since he had no way to add them to the master list he kept hidden in a secret place in their home not even Ziva was aware existed.

There were also a handful he'd left around the house with his notes for her to discover, so all told he probably had less than ten that hadn't been physically recorded in some fashion. And since their anniversary was coming up and they did have plans, wouldn't it be a nice addition to her present to give her all the 'I love you' reasons he'd come up with during their time apart? That of anything made Tony smile a little and he continued working on his project, moving to a napkin when the newspaper space was full and finishing with the back of a gas receipt he had tucked in his wallet. It wasn't much, but something was better than nothing and for now those reasons were all he had of the woman who held his heart.

 **NCIS**

Finally taking her turn to make contact instead of letting her aunt carry the burden of that responsibility, Ziva opened her laptop quite late on Tuesday night so that she could catch Nettie shortly after she awoke in Israel. She'd taken herself for a long walk following her surprisingly enjoyable dinner with Jimmy and his fiancee, unable to settle after spending time with another couple in love. Her heart ached with missing her other half even as much as she enjoyed knowing she and Tony weren't the only ones with that kind of relationship.

The two of them kept her quite entertained with stories of their early dates and how their relationship had progressed. It was a pleasure to see Jimmy so happy, to see him with someone who clearly loved him the way he deserved, and Ziva was struck again by how much he had grown and changed since her early days with the team. This new level of maturity and understanding though might very well be attributed to the beautiful blonde who was his quiet strength and his biggest fan.

Before she could even turn the computer on, Ziva saw a note taped to the screen with her husband's handwriting on it. She reached for it with furrowed brown, suddenly realizing that she must not have touched her computer since Tony left, or she would have found it already. _I wish I was there so we could spend time with Aunt Nettie together. Tell her I love her. And I love you Zi, so much. Always - T._

"Oh ahava," she breathed, cradling the small square in her hands. "Thank you for not leaving me completely alone."

Ziva went through the familiar motions of setting up a Skype call and waited for it to be accepted on the other end. Aunt Nettie appeared on the screen with a smile and, "Shalom tsiporkatan."

Answering in kind kept the conversation in Hebrew and there it stayed for the remainder of their time together. After getting the general stuff out of the way, Nettie pointed to the white bear sitting behind her niece on Tony's desk. "Have you gotten a new friend motek?"

Ziva smiled faintly. "That is Tinsel. She is on loan from Tony's-from our niece McKenna. She wanted to help me feel better. McKenna said teddy bears make great friends and they are really good at tears."

Nettie tilted her head to the side. "That little one sounds like our Talia. Did she not often say the same thing?"

The prompting brought back a similar scene with her younger sister, Tali bringing her Moses after a day of training that has pushed her too her limits and telling her no one was better at tears than teddy bears. At that point it had been months if not over a year since Ziva had cried, but there were so many moments when she wished she still could. "Yes," Ziva agreed softly, "Tali loved teddy bears. Perhaps that is why I do as well."

"I wonder whatever happened to her Aaron," Nettie mused. Tali's favourite bear had been named to match Ziva's Moses, even though it was backwards with the younger sister naming her bear after the older brother in the story.

Her niece's face shadowed. "I wrapped him in her favourite baby blanket and buried him in the orange grove, since he could not go in the casket with her. And I could not handle seeing him lying on her bed as if waiting for her to return." Even at sixteen Tali had still insisted her old friend share the space near her pillow. She did not care that everyone thought she should've outgrown the toy. Talia Rebeka David was the youngest and the strongest willed of them all. She could not be talked out of doing things her way.

Nettie shook her head slowly. "I did not know that Zivi, ani mitzta'aret."

Ziva shrugged one shoulder. "It was a long time ago Doda."

"Time does not take away the hurt," the older woman countered. "Just like it does not remove the longing for one you are missing. How are you doing Zivaleh, without Anthony there?"

Unwilling to go over that ground one more time, she gave a short answer that demonstrated her dislike for the question and instead turned the spotlight on her aunt. There was nothing in her life worth sharing at the moment. When they ended the call a short while later Ziva wished desperately that she could go to Ops, even though it would already be closed at this time of night. This forced inactivity while her back healed was proving rather detrimental to her state of mind.

 **NCIS**

 **Wednesday June 22** \- T away from DC

She found herself dreaming of Ari a lot that summer. And not the end, the final year of his life when everything fell apart, but moments dating back to their earliest childhood days, the fun had and love shared between the two oldest David siblings when life still allowed them an innocence now long forgotten. This time it was a picture of Ari sitting behind her when, as a delighted 3 year old on her first summer visit to the farm she'd been allowed on one of Dod Asher's huge gentle Arabians.

Many years later Ziva had been told that Ari refused to let her go on alone. Dod Asher claimed to have been a bit intimidated by the fierce twelve year old who stood in front of him with arms crossed and eyes flashing, determined to protect the one he cherished most. She could imagine that scene so easily, when Ari had always come to her defense or rescue even if it was unwarranted from the time she was old enough to form permanent impressions. It caused an ache deep in her chest that nearly rivaled that of her missing husband to know that she'd never have that kind of brother love again. Tony, at least, would be back. Ari had no such option to return to her life.

Just as soon as the thought occurred to her however, she was drowned in a tidal wave of memories from the last few years - McGee showing her around DC when she first arrived and taking her side against Tony at times. McGee spending time helping her with reports and sharing the occasional meal during the two weeks Tony was away at the security conference when he realized she was at loose ends because the partners had gotten so much closer since Gibbs retired. McGee standing up for his own sister during the case where she was a suspect and Ziva's first real glimpse of the man he was going to be by what he was willing to sacrifice for her.

McGee gently teasing Tony after he made a show of burning Jeanne's letter, a way of easing their senior field agent back into the fold. McGee rushing with Tony to her aid when Damon reacted badly to what the doctors gave him and went on a rampage that ended with pinning her against the wall. McGee reining in his reactions to help keep Tony from realizing that she was pranking him during their boring days of stakeouts. McGee trying to comfort her when she was suspected of killing the drug dealer's brother. McGee welcoming her back after a terrible summer of being separated from her team, her home, her husband. That was perhaps the first time she felt like part of the MCRT family, being greeted like a long lost sister and spending days catching up on how he'd been doing until the silence from the third desk had finally gotten to her.

Her concern for McGee when he'd been held hostage in the women's prison and how proud she was of the changes he was determined to make upon getting out. McGee backing Tony up and getting caught by terrorists on purpose so they could avenge her death. McGee on her other side along with Tony, dragging her out of the room where she'd been planning to die. His sympathy on the plane ride home and their conversation when she returned to work. The way he helped the others clear her name in the shooting of Daniel Shalev. Their conversation during the unexpected blackout that caused them to spend a night in the elevator and the way he looked out for her. His compassion and thoughtfulness in so many of the days since then. Not that there weren't just as many days when he joined in the teasing or did his best to make her feel uncomfortable and get one up on her when she was so often in the lead when it came to wit, but she realized now with a smile that he was acting exactly as a brother should. Even the way Jimmy had stepped up in small ways lately had made her see him in a different light.

And then there was the gang. All of the guys giving her gentle hugs at that first basketball practice after she was home and Darien's offer to send them after whoever hurt her. How they'd welcomed her as a cherished member of their group since she first met them and as family since her return. There was Cassie and Mark having them for dinner to check in and see how she was doing after that first week back to work, Brent lending them his beloved Cody for a week to help with her nightmares and confiding in her about CJ before he realized she'd weaseled more information out of him than he'd been planning to share.

Darien and Adrian skating with her and making her laugh at their first annual group outing while Tony went to play with Brent and the children, their thoughtful gifts for her at Hanukkah, Mark giving her advice on how to handle her husband after the fallout when she finally told him what happened in Somalia. Brent's, along with Mark and Cassie's, willingness to take care of Meira on short notice when they were called away on a case, Brent listening to her story about she and Tali and a babysittier and taking to heart the warning about what it might look like when Ryan finally started acting like a regular kid instead of being on his best behaviour.

Mark listening and sharing when she called him about Tony's father showing up and the effect it was having on him, the hugs the guys insisted on bestowing upon her as a greeting nearly every time they met, the brief times she'd spent with Darien - hearing stories about their time in college and living together and the occasional personal insight he'd shared. Adrian's concern for her after she'd had a rough week or when she couldn't handle being too close.

In thinking about all those moments she couldn't help but notice that she hadn't completely lost the love of a brother, she had just gained it from some unexpected sources. She had more family now than she'd ever dreamed possible a few years previous. That thought gave Ziva the strength to get out of bed and face another day, but even so the shadows still hung heavy on her heart. Some things would never completely fade away.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs watched Ziva stand in front of the plasma as she studied the information about their latest dead petty officer. Her eyes rapidly scanned the lines, looking for anything that would explain why the woman had been targeted. Idly Ziva rubbed first one wrist, then the other, her fingers tracing skin long ago abraded by a hundred days of ever present restraints binding her to a chair that resisted her every attempt at escape and forever imprinted that struggle on her body.

Her brow furrowed in concentration and Gibbs recalled similar instances during cases when that same habit appeared. For a woman who used to be able to hide everything behind a stone blank mask, it was a bit disconcerting to realize she'd developed a stress tell. _But only since she came home from that blasted camp_ , he groused internally before joining his agent and cupping her elbow.

"Whatcha got Ziver?"

She pointed at one line in the petty officer's file. "Does that hit you as odd?"

Tony would've corrected her with his next breath but Gibbs didn't want another reminder of his absent senior field agent. He squinted at the screen, making her smirk and walk over to the desk for his reading glasses. He shot her a half-hearted glare for the amusement and read the section she indicated, nodding slowly. "Get our petty officer's bunkmate back in here. I think she knows more than she's telling."

 **NCIS**

The second day wasn't nearly as bad as the first, but Cassie still wasn't feeling 100%. Despite that she taught her regular day of lessons and found new reasons to appreciate her husband when small bags of different sour candies began turning up in various rooms of the house. She didn't always give him enough credit, he was a very thoughtful man. That trait presented itself again during lunch when he had a small bouquet of flowers delivered to the house along with two brownies from a nearby restaurant, though a note in the box did state that one was for him. Cassie texted her husband immediately to say that he could have the dessert if he was home early, but it was fair game any time after that. She could almost hear his laughter in the reply, Mark liked to know that his effort was worth it.

For supper he brought home wraps from their favourite pita place, one form of take out his health-conscious self could live with. The kids forgot fairly quickly that something wasn't quite right with Mommy, but Mark knew full well the lethargy and slight depression that accompanied the beginning of her cycle and sought to distract her with a family games night where she could laugh along with Alec and McKenna as they made their way through The Game of Life and Guess Who.

Remaining attentive and sensitive to her mood, Mark put on _Kate and Leopold_ after the kids were in bed, giving the couple a chance to lounge on the couch together and enjoy the evening. It wasn't his favourite movie, but one he watched simply because he loved her. That was also proven by the collection of chocolates he left on the coffee table which were easily within reach. Cassie didn't tell her husband why she kissed him for a long moment as the opening scene played, but she had a feeling by the way he kissed her back that he knew exactly what the reason was.

Right at the end of the movie when Mark hadn't yet gotten enough of his wife relaxing in his arms and was about to suggest another movie just for the opportunity to do a little more cuddling, he suddenly had an idea. Ignoring her little sound of protest when he got out from behind her and stood up, Mark bowed low in front of the couch and offered his hand. "My lady, may I have this dance?"

Delighted, Cassie accepted and was pulled into her husband's comforting embrace. He swayed her gently in a slow circle, twirling her around with great care and bringing her back. When the music stopped he wrapped his arms around his wife and kissed her deeply, not pushing for anything other than for her to accept an outpouring of his love. And unbeknownst to their parents, Alec and McKenna sat on the stairs watching the whole thing. They didn't totally understand the significance, but so much was being etched in their memories about what a good marriage looked like. They never had to wonder if their dad loved their mom, they saw it in his actions every day.

 **NCIS**

It had been awfully nice of McGee and Abby to invite her to their movie night and choose a film she'd always enjoyed, but somehow being with other people made her feel even more lonely. That thought stuck with Ziva and made her wonder if that's why she kept making excuses to avoid the gang. She missed Tony's presence on the couch beside her, how he'd try to hold hands when no one else was looking, she could even hear the comments he'd make about actors and dates and locations and the random trivia he knew simply because he loved this art form.

Unwilling to go home to an empty house and confident Meira had what she needed for overnight - water and food dishes had been refilled before she met the others - Ziva decided to make use of Gibbs' spare bedroom again. This time instead of being in the basement Gibbs was already stretched out on the couch deeply asleep. Even so, she paused at the doorway to the livingroom and watched silently for awhile just to be sure.

Calling on all of her stealth skills to make it upstairs without a single creak, Ziva stopped just inside the room and waited for her eyes to adjust completely to the dark. What she saw surprised her. Where the walls on the left had been bare and empty minus artwork, now wainscoting was being installed and there were two long, unfamiliar shapes flat against the wall to her left and the back wall facing her. Curious, she went to investigate. They seemed like thin cabinets or something but when she tugged on the top edge it moved and startled her. With a little careful checking Ziva realized the two shapes were actually twin beds that folded up against the wall.

A smile told over her face. "Very clever Abba, you are making sure there is room for all of us." Of course, with only three beds and four team members the count was off, but in a pinch she and Abby could share the queen while Tim and Tony took the fold out beds, because she knew what a fuss the boys would make if anyone suggested they take the bigger one. Not that they'd even necessarily all be utilizing the space at the same time, but it was still touching that he'd made such a thing possible.

"Thank you Gibbs," she whispered into the empty room, "I like how you are taking care of your family."

With the mystery now solved Ziva changed into pyjamas and slid under the covers, wrapping her arms around the comfortable pillow. "Halevai ve'hayita kan ahava,"she murmured, knowing that somewhere in the city or wherever he was, Tony was laying in the shadows wishing the very same thing. _I wish you were here_.

 **NCIS**

 **Thursday June 23** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Nettie was quite surprised around lunchtime when she answered the phone and heard her nephew's voice on the other end. "Anthony? What a lovely surprise! How are you?"

He sighed heavily, reminding her anew that the summer held only challenges for her favourite couple. "I'm...surviving. Not making as much progress as I'd hoped. I just want to go home." Tony paused for a moment, struggling just to say his wife's name without breaking down. "How's Ziva?"

It seemed so strange that he was living in the same city as his wife and yet had to wait for a trans-Atlantic phone call to find out about her. Nettie's voice gentled. "She is about the same as you motek. You two have never done very well when apart."

Tony wrinkled his nose but couldn't really refute the fact. "Is she seeing the gang?" He wanted so badly to believe she'd let them be her support network while he was away, but he knew his wife too well.

At this the older woman hesitated. "Occasionally I think. She mentioned your niece's ballet recital last week."

Smacking himself in the forehead, he made a noise of frustration. "Dang. I forgot all about that. She invited us as soon as she found out and she's been talking about it for months. Sorry Hugs," he muttered under his breath.

"I know it does not help much when you are so left out of everything, but you know you are loved because you are missed."

Tony nodded slightly, though the observation didn't make him feel any better. "Anything else?"

Wandering over to her front windows that looked out on Haifa's sandy shore, Nettie continued the update. "Zivi has told me of the notes she's been finding and your flower campaign. That is very sweet achyan."

"Not much good as a replacement for her husband, but I'm doing my best."

"My Zivaleh knows that as well. There is never any blame in her voice when she speaks of you."

"I feel like there should be," he admitted quietly.

"You need to stop blaming yourself for something I have been told you had no control over," Nettie said wisely. "You are doing the best job you can with the lot you were given."

Tony was done with introspection and ready to move on. He wanted to ask about Ziva's scar appointments but she'd been keeping those pretty private and he didn't want to share if it was something she wasn't comfortable with. "Well...thanks."

Nettie sympathized with her nephew and all he wanted but could not have. "She has been out for dinner with one of your co-workers," she offered.

That perked his ears up. "Oh yeah? Did she say who?"

Brow furrowed in thought, Nettie tried to remember the conversation from only two days ago. "Jamie?"

"Jimmy," Tony corrected, surprise in his tone. "Gee, that was nice of him. Way to go Autopsy Gremlin. Wish I could've been there to see it."

"Autopsy what?"

He laughed. "Inside joke from work, never mind. He's a good guy, but really awkward most of the time. I imagine he'd find it hard to get through a conversation with our former assassin without stuttering and stammering the whole time." There was silence on the other end and Tony cleared his throat. "Jimmy...he's just a little too easy to make fun of sometimes."

"Hmm," came Aunt Nettie's reply. "Well, regardless I was glad to hear of her getting out for a night."

"I'd love to lecture her about being a hermit, but you know all too well that I did the exact same thing when it was her. If it hadn't been for you showing up those two weeks I probably wouldn't've even left the house."

"And starved to death I suppose," Nettie countered, unsure if it was good or morbid that they could now talk lightly about that awful period of time when they believed Ziva gone from their lives forever. "How would I have explained that to your wife?"

Any amusement disappeared and Tony rubbed his face. "Yeah."

"But perhaps she would not have been found at all if you had not been willing to fight your entire agency for the chance to avenge her."

He certainly did not want to think in terms of those possibilities. "Thanks for everything Doda. I mean that."

Aware that he was talking about much more than her weekly phone calls to her niece, Nettie simply smiled. "You are very welcome Anthony." Her gaze flitted to the clock. "I supposed you have to go?"

Another sigh pushed its way out of his chest. "Yeah, I better. Take care. Love you."

"I love you as well. Be safe Anthony, please."

"Do my best." Immediately after hanging up Tony started taking the phone apart piece by piece and what he couldn't disable he smashed with one of his shoes. Then he took the whole mess outside and dumped it in a neighbouring dumpster, thinking sarcastically all the while that he bet Jarvis didn't know his money would be used regularly for the disposable cellphones he kept going through like water. But after taking him away from Ziva the least the man could do was finance his communication with one of the only remaining family members he had. Tony wasn't answering to anyone for that.

 **NCIS**

Mid-morning on his way back from the breakroom McGee stopped and poured a handful of foil wrapped candy onto Ziva's desk. She picked one up in surprise and peeled back the wrapping to reveal a custom chocolate, much like those he'd gotten her after her father's visit when she was still struggling with everything. Taking a small bite, she closed her eyes in a moment of bliss then met her co-worker's smile with her own. "This is very good, thank you Tim."

He shrugged one shoulder. "I know they didn't work so well last time, so I thought I'd try again. Sarah's taught me the value of persistence in that regard."

Ziva leaned her head on one hand. "I am sorry I did not appreciate them before."

McGee gazed at her fondly. "They made you smile, that's good enough for me."

"You are a good friend Tim." Her expression was thoughtful as she finished her chocolate, then she turned a knowing look on him that made McGee nervous.

"How many did you give to Abby?"

"Oh, just a-" Tim cut himself off and shook his head. "Busted, huh?"

Tony would've had much more to say but Ziva simply stuck with, "I used to be a spy McGee."

He made a face. "You must've been good at it. I never see it coming until I've already walked into your trap." McGee chuckled. "But at least I'm not the only one. Tony-" Again he stopped, having seen the shadow that crossed her face at the mention of her absent partner's name, then cleared his throat awkwardly. "Well, anyways, I guess I've still got a lot to learn."

Before he could dig the hole any deeper, Gibbs entered the bullpen with a dark haired woman and curly headed child at his side. He smiled, which itself was out of the ordinary, and made eye contact with both team members present. "Look who came to visit!"

Ziva was out of her chair immediately to greet them and wrapped her arms around Leyla briefly. "It is good to see you again. How are you?"

Leyla lapsed into her native language then and Ziva followed suit. Leaving the two ladies off to the side, Gibbs led his god-daughter towards McGee. "Do you remember Tim Amira?"

She nodded shyly, sticking very close to Gibbs. McGee knelt to her level and handed over one of the remaining chocolates from those he'd already parceled out to Ziva and Abby. "Would you like to try one Miss Amira?"

Her lips curved slightly and she plucked it from his palm with the hand not holding Mish. "Shukran Mr. Tim."

Glancing back at the women who were now deep in conversation in Arabic, gesturing with their hands occasionally, even chuckling here and there, Gibbs had little desire to interrupt them. He hadn't seen either lady so animated in weeks. He stood up and gestured to McGee. "Should we take Tim with us and go see Abby down in the lab?" Amira looked up at him quizzically, like she couldn't quite place who he was talking about. Gibbs grinned. "Remember I told you about her hippo?" The little girl's eyes lit up and she nodded enthusiastically. "Okay. Let's go. Abby is gonna have so much fun with you sweetie, she loves kids."

Leyla and Ziva barely took any notice when the men left with their little charge. It was so nice to have a conversation in a language other than English and neither of them, Ziva mostly by choice at the moment, spent much time around other women so just the chance to talk together was very nice. Since they were alone in the squadroom now they eventually migrated to Gibbs' desk, with Leyla being offered his chair and Ziva perching on the edge as was her custom.

After they'd exhausted all the normal news and enjoyed a couple of chocolates apiece, Ziva tilted her head and studied the woman with sympathy in her eyes. "How are you doing really?"

Leyla fiddled with the bracelet she always wore, a gift from her father in law in happier times. "It is very hard, without Mike. For all but the first month of her life I have had someone to help me raise my daughter. Gibbs is wonderful and he tries, but I miss Mike and Amira missed her jaddi. I cannot fill his place nor the father figure that is missing from her life. Sometimes I just want to cry but then my daughter would worry and I do not want to give her cause to do more of that. She is not even four and a half yet and is already carrying so many heavy burdens." The young mother sighed. "I had hoped to spare her that."

Ziva put her hand on Leyla's shoulder. "You cannot protect her from life Leyla, though I understand the desire to do so." She continued on regardless of the sudden curiosity in the other woman's eyes. "She has you and your love. She has Gibbs. And someday you may meet a man you want to marry, so that father spot in her life is not guaranteed to always be empty." Though her stomach rolled at the very thought of ever trying to fall in love again should something happen to Tony, they seemed like the kind of encouraging words one said in times like these.

Suddenly unable to make eye contact, Leyla's gaze was drawn to the sunshine outside. "There is someone." She hurried to get the rest out before Ziva could ask. "I am not saying I want to get married again, we have only known each other a month. But he is...the kind of man I would like to spend more time with."

"I am happy for you. Being loved is very special. You deserve to have that again."

Leyla shook her head. "What I had with Liam feels like a thousand years ago, and I have spent Amira's life trying not to need that anymore. But he loved me and he protected me and he tried to protect her...I had a hero who took me away from everything I'd ever known and brought me into a life I did not even know I was missing. I just wish we had more time together."

"I know that feeling," Ziva shared softly. "It is always hard to miss the ones we have lost." Though she phrased it as if she was talking about death, really what she meant was the absence of her husband. And nothing - not secret trysts or notes or all the flowers in the world (and he'd certainly sent his share over the last month) could make up for not having him physically there with her as part of their life together.

"I'm sorry. I know there is little left of your family. I should not have been so insensitive."

"You were not." The Israeli followed her friend's gaze out the window. "I have accepted that I am within three of being all that remains of my family. But family is not just to whom you were born, it is also what you make for yourself. I hope you will take the chance should it come again Leyla."

Leyla's brow furrowed. "You seem to understand what I am talking about."

The best misleading information was that which was already the truth. She gave a slight smile. "I do not always look like it, but I have known what it is to be in love, part of a romance, part of a story. It is very hard to lose that, no matter how it ends."

Leyla nodded in understanding and the two women fell silent for awhile. They were chatting about Leyla's plans once September came and what she wanted to do to get Amira ready for school next year when McGee, Gibbs, and Amira returned. She was sporting an NCIS cap over her brown ringlets and had a shiny little badge pinned to the front of her outfit. The young mother held out her arms and her little girl ran into them, stuffed cat still clasped securely in one hand. "Well habibi, it seems that you have had quite a time."

Gibbs passed his hand over the cap, more content than Ziva could remember seeing him recently. "Yup. She got to hang out with Abby and Bert in the lab, said hello to Ducky and Jimmy and heard a story, and saw the gym where we practice for catching bad guys."

McGee picked up where his boss left off. "Yeah, then we took her to see MTAC and the director's office - he let her sit in his chair - and took a detour through the breakroom for a glass of water." He glanced at Leyla. "It's kinda close to lunch, I didn't want to get her a treat in case it would mess with your routine."

"That is very thoughtful of you Tim. But I do not think one little treat would be a problem. She can always have it later."

He grinned and pulled something out of his pocket. "In that case..." A small square box was handed to Amira. "These are called Nerds. They were my sister's favourite candy when she was little and she always liked the pink and purple ones the best. Maybe you and Mommy can try them later and see what you think."

Leyla stood and kissed his cheek. "Thank you." She did the same to Gibbs and then hugged Ziva, switching languages again for her parting comment.

" _We should do this again sometime. I really enjoyed talking with you."_

Surprising herself, Ziva nodded. _"So did I. Thank you."_

Gibbs' eyes narrowed as he looked back and forth between the two of them. "Something I should know about?"

Ziva winked and shook her head. "You do not have to know everything Gibbs." And if he someday found out all the things he hadn't known about, it was really going to blow his head.

 **NCIS**

"So Adrian," Chris asked during the family dinner they'd finally gotten around to scheduling, "what's your latest project? Or are you back to corralling kids and coaxing smiles out of stressed out parents full time?"

Adrian exchanged glances with his wife and chuckled. She hadn't believed him about how hard it could be to get a simple photo some days and had spent an afternoon hanging around Flash and watching him accomplish what, at times, seemed to be an impossible task. Suffice it to say she had a new appreciation for his work. "I've got about five more weddings lined up over the summer - that's always interesting. But I think this year I get an assistant?" He raised a questioning eyebrow at Emma.

She smiled and nodded. "I volunteered to tag along and see what all goes into the process. I have a feeling it'll be a real eye opener."

"But the one I'm really excited about," Adrian continued, "is the military homecoming I was contracted for with a bunch of other photographers. I just love capturing those reunion moments, there's nothing else that compares."

All eyes were drawn to the prominently displayed picture of Chris with his then six week old daughter, one with Beth after her baby girl was safely handed off to Emma, and the first one of the three of them as a family. Chris smiled softly. "I'll never forget that moment, the first time I saw Soph in something other than an ultrasound picture." He leaned over and kissed his wife. "And getting to hold Beth again. Sometimes that was all that was keeping me going through the darker days over there."

Beth put her hand over his. "At least you're home for good now."

His touch drifted to her six month pregnant belly. "And I don't have to worry about missing even a moment of this one's life." The baby kicked and he grinned. "Totally worth it, even when she's sending me out for weird stuff at eleven o'clock at night."

"Now you know what it was like to be me last time," Emma commented dryly, wiping some mushed vegetables off her niece's cheek.

Beth glared at her sister. "I was not that bad."

The smirk Emma didn't even bother to suppress begged to differ. "I'd love to refute that, but I don't want to lose babysitting privileges with Hope."

"That child is going to be so confused as to what her name actually is," Beth muttered.

"What's the point of a middle name if you don't put it to some use other than yelling when they're in trouble?" Adrian countered, coming to his wife's defense in a gentle way.

"And what might your middle name be Mr. Platz?" Beth asked with a definite mom tone in her voice.

He grinned. "If you don't know it, you can't use it to get me in trouble."

Chris shook his head. "I'd quit while I was ahead if I was you. Keep in mind that antagonizing expectant mothers can be hazardous for one's health."

Adrian remembered back to the times he'd visited when Cassie was pregnant with the kids and nodded slowly. "Excellent point. Anyone for dessert?"

Beth's eyes lit up. "What'd you bring?" Her brother in law could always be counted on for an interesting choice.

"Recess treats. They're more for kids, which is why I love them so much." He squeezed Emma's fingers. "This was our first attempt at making them so I want you to know up front that if we failed, I was totally going to bribe Darien to make me a batch."

The other couple laughed. "As long as they taste good it doesn't matter who makes them."

"I'd keep them away from the munchkin unless you want an eighteen month old on a sugar high," Adrian warned.

"Lucky her, I think she gets unsweetened applesauce for dessert," Beth put in, leaning over to brush back her daughter's light blonde curls. "It's a tough life being little, huh kiddo?"

Sophia grinned and held goopy hands out to her mother. "Mama!"

Emma winced. "Whoa there dolly, let's get you cleaned up a little bit before you start giving hugs. I think you might need a bath tonight."

"Ooh! I volunteer!" Adrian's hand shot up in the air. "I love bath time." He put his face close to the little girl. "And then we can have as many bubbles as we want, okay?"

"Bubu!" Sophia declared with glee, having newly discovered the joy of blowing bubbles in the backyard with any adult who happened to be around.

"Well that just sounds like a recipe for disaster," Beth commented with a smile that said she wasn't going to argue with the plan. She shot a look at her sister. "Want to go along and supervise?"

"Unless you'd rather me clean up."

Beth shooed her away. "Go. Have fun. Try not to make too much of a mess."

"No guarantees with Adrian in charge," she said as he unbuckled the toddler and lifted her up. "But I'll do my best."

Chris put his arm around his wife as the others headed upstairs. "Gotta love family, huh Liz?" He was the only one to use another part of Beth's full name as a nickname, but she loved it just the same.

She laid her head on his shoulder and rubbed her bump. "It's only going to get better from here."

 **NCIS**

Celeste interrupted herself midsentence. "Jethro, what is that noise?"

He slotted another piece of wainscoting into place, something he'd started a couple days ago after installing and testing the two murphy beds and taking a well deserved break. He waited until the next day to make them up properly with sheets and a blanket. "I'm baking a cake." Grunting, he continued the process. "What do you think?"

She rolled her eyes. "You could be tearing the place down piece by piece for all I know, since you haven't told me anything for days."

"Curiosity getting to you Les?" The woman had remarkable patience, but she didn't like being left out of stuff.

Celeste wrinkled her nose and said nothing for a moment, then opted for a shift of subject. He didn't need to know he was right. "Are you pleased with your progress?"

Gibbs stopped briefly and looked around. "Yeah, I am. Two months ago I would never have dreamed so much could change, but it's a good one."

"I'm glad," she said sincerely.

Because he wasn't currently sharing too much of what his project was, he offered her something else. "I was thinking about a time before my last tour when the three of us got away for a couple days and went camping near this lake. It was quiet, peaceful, a great place to have some quality time. We went riding on the beach one afternoon and Kelly was in her glory - an eight year old and horses, hard to go wrong. She kept getting ahead of us, laughing like it was the best day of her life." Gibbs closed his eyes and could almost see his little girl's smile.

"I built a bonfire later, we roasted hot dogs and marshmallows. Kelly would eat both burnt, she didn't care. The kid had a knack for setting marshmallows on fire, so I'd do a couple up for her nice and golden brown. Then Shannon would make me do hers too. She'd say, 'Gibbs, that girl inherited my temperament without the red hair but look into her eyes, try to argue with her when her mind is set, and tell me she's not exactly like you.'"

Celeste didn't know what to say. "Jethro, you have always had my heart, but I am so sorry for what you lost. If I could change one thing for you-"

He cut her off from a road it was never wise to go down. "Don't. Please Les. It will only hurt."

She swallowed the rest of the words, understanding following swiftly. "I'm sorry."

"Rule 6," Gibbs tossed back a bit gruffly - he rarely used the rules on her - then, "I'm always afraid of what I'd choose if that was possible. Either way something is lost." The family he had or the one that had chosen him.

"Remind me to give you a hug the next time we're in the same city." Celeste fiddled with her bracelet. "Thank you, for sharing that memory. When you trust me with them...I'm honoured."

"Yeah," he sighed, "I know." Waiting while he continued working, eventually the silence had to be broken. "Your turn. Tell me one of your babysitting adventures."

"Jethro!" she protested. "That was a hundred years ago!"

He smirked. "You've aged very well."

She scowled at the phone. "Very funny. I was fourteen. There's decades of experiences between then and now."

"Yup," Gibbs grinned, "and I know you still remember them like yesterday. Come on, spill."

"Well, I guess I can come up with something." Celeste picked up her tea and thought back. "Okay. There was a time when the kids I was watching, who lived beside a cornfield, wanted to play hide and seek..."

As Gibbs listened he worked and as he worked he wondered why he'd never before tried to get to know her more. On this their very last chance everything felt brand new and he hoped there was never a time when he stopped trying to learn about this woman he was falling for so much deeper all over again. He wasn't giving her up, not this time.

 **NCIS**

Darien stood back to survey his progress. It had been a long seven weeks and he hadn't seen much of a transformation yet, but he was definitely getting there. After spending a couple days at the beginning of May getting moved in with the gang's help, he'd begun his renovation plans by tearing down the wall that separated the kitchen from the livingroom, creating a large open concept main floor. His first major project was the kitchen and dining area, seeing as how a man could only survive so long on healthy take out options and mooching meals at friend's houses.

It had now been a month an a half and the old authentic-to-the-seventies kitchen had been completely transformed into a modern space complete with brand new stainless steel appliances, dark marble countertops, a large island creating even more work space, large slate and light grey vinyl floor tiles set in a diagonal pattern, and all white cupboards and woodwork. The effect was quite pleasing and Darien looked forward to the first meal, and especially the first dessert, that he would cook for himself here. On the other side of the counter was patio doors that looked out on his yard and also held his new table and chairs set. He'd made sure to purchase one that could be made big enough to seat the entire gang so he could finally take his turn in hosting one of their beloved group dinners.

The next thing on his list was the laundry room with attached bathroom. It was in good enough shape that he'd been able to do his washing - with one minor averted disaster involving a leak he'd thankfully caught early - but it needed a lot of elbow grease to get up to his standards. It was a good thing he'd grown up in the construction and renovation business. With his dad owning his own company every kid in his family, including the girls, had at some point or other been involved in at least one facet of it. That was how Darien had saved money for his first car and his half of the tuition money for school, since his parents had been generous enough to pay the other half. Once he'd made it through his first year on a professional football team, he sent his parents on a two week second honeymoon to Hawaii - a reward for having successfully raised seven children to (almost) adulthood. His baby sister was only sixteen at the time but well on her way to joining those ranks.

For now though the current plan was to take a four day break from the actual renovations which gave him time to clean up and then paint the space. The thought occurred to him that perhaps he could ask the gang to come over and pitch in for that part, but he shook it off. This was his project to complete, his mission so to speak to take the place of time he used to spend on a football field. And it felt good to do things with his hands again and see a dream become a reality. But for the first time he realized that it was also a bit lonely. Time would tell if he could ever admit that to anyone except himself.

 **NCIS**

 **Friday June 24** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

Ziva was entirely surprised to see a familiar figure standing by a bench along one of her many running paths. She slowed to a stop, pulling out her earbuds. "Tim? What are you doing here?"

He shrugged and gave her an easy smile. "Thought I'd join you today."

Her brow furrowed. "How did you find me?"

McGee had the decency to look a little embarrassed. "I tracked your cell. Figured there was no way a former Mossad officer would keep to any kind of schedule."

He was right about that, but his ability to locate her so easily made Ziva nervous and it crossed her mind to wonder what would happen if he ever pinged her cell while she was at home. The concern was enough to consider turning it off or taking the battery out during those hours, but Gibbs would have a sheep is she broke Rule #3 and became unreachable for any length of time.

But rather than let any of those concerns show on her face, Ziva smiled instead and gestured to the path. "Shall we?"

Tim nodded and fell into step beside her as Ziva set the pace to an easy jog. She glanced at her companion. "Do you run often?"

He made a bit of a face. "To tell the truth, I'm more of a stairmaster kinda guy. I can read while I work out on that thing. But this is an important part of your routine, so I thought I'd give it a try. And I didn't do too badly when Tony and I got dragged along on Adriana's training a few months back." McGee fell silent for a moment like he was remembering something and she increased the pace slightly. "Come to think of it, neither did Tony. In fact, I was surprised by how well he kept up." He paused again but finally braved the question. "Ziva, does Tony come running with you?" He couldn't imagine any other reason that would motivate the senior field agent to engage in physical activity that was not bedroom related. But the opportunity to see his partner in some rather clingy workout clothes might just do the trick.

If she'd been listening to music Ziva could've pretended not to hear his query, as it was she could find no such excuse. After several beats she said carefully, "He has been known to join me on occasion, yes. But not on as regular a basis as you seem to be thinking." Despite his declaration last summer of wanting to be part of her morning runs so they could spend time together, Tony had yet to make it a regular habit. She wondered if that was something that would change once he was back home.

Ziva waited for more invasive questioning but McGee left her comment with a simple, "Huh," and from then on focused all his attention on keeping up with her. For his sake she did not push as hard as she usually would and at the end, when they'd made a circle back to where she found him, Ziva pressed a quick kiss to his cheek.

"Thank you for coming McGee. It was nice to have a running companion again." She headed off, planning to use the distance between there and home as her cooldown, and turned around for a quick wave. "See you at work!"

McGee lifted his hand in farewell and did some stretching by the bench, all the while wondering if he should bring Abby an early Caf-Pow and share this newly gleaned information about their co-workers, or if Ziva and Tony deserved their privacy and it would be better to keep what he'd learned to himself. By the time he'd left to go home and get ready for the day he still hadn't made up his mind.

 _AN: Hi guys! I know even a nice long chapter doesn't really make up for five months of silence. I'm beginning to wish FF had a system where I could send out a message to all my readers and keep them updated on what's going on and why I've been absent. But since they don't have that, I'll just tell you all that I'm not losing interest in the story or abandoning it, I simply have had very little time for writing. When there is time I've been organizing my notes for this part and the next and I'm happy to report that a couple chapters have been added so I think we'll top out around 15 total for WLB. One of my New Year's resolutions is to make time for writing rather than expecting it just to show up (because that has not worked at all!). The goal is one afternoon a week and I managed it the first week of the month so we'll see how that goes from now on. Thanks to everyone for the messages and support and for still having interest in the story even when updates are so few and far between. Knowing you all are out there waiting for a new chapter is one of the things that keeps me going. Lots of love ~Aliyah :)_

 _Replies:_

 _Marites - Hi! Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you're enjoying the story. I know, they are so cute and I love watching them together. I wonder the same thing. I think the problem with imagining love stories is that it gives us rather unrealistic expectations for love in real life. I hope someday you and I both get to experience what that's like, but until then the imagined stuff is all I have to work with. I think the hardest part about writing this section of the story is that they are separated and that breaks my heart as well. There won't be any tragedy for Tony's mission greater than what we saw on the show, I am trying to stay fairly true to canon as far as events go. Thanks so much for reading! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #1 - you are very welcome. It's always nice to be back with a new chapter, for however brief a time that might be. I hope this new one was worth the wait, though I somehow doubt it can make up for the last 5 months of silence. Thanks for reviewing! :) ~Aliyah PS. Can I have a name to call you? I hate just labeling guests with numbers._

 _Guest #2 - your concern is appreciated, thank you :) And I love hugs, so virtual ones are great as well! I'm glad to hear the previous chapter was worth the wait, I hope this one was too. Thanks for reading and reviewing! PS. Can I have a name to call you? I hate just labeling guests with numbers. ~Aliyah_

 _Kassie - You are very welcome. I wish so much that I could update more often than has been happening in the last year, but that's the resolution for this year so we'll see how it goes. I don't think the Father's Day idea was originally planned but I'm always thankful when God surprises me with new inspiration. Oh me too! If it wasn't so impractical for his resolve to stay away to keep her safe, I would love T &Z to have so many more of those secret rendevous. I think they're definitely doing the best they can with what they have. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Moriah - Hi! What a lovely message to get, thank you! Aww, I love being on the favourite's list, that is such a nice compliment. Well I'm so glad you decided to review this time. Thank you, I'm glad you think so. And thanks for leaving me a name to respond to, I love something more personal than just 'guest #3'. I hope you're still enjoying the story. Thanks for reading and reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Debbie - Hi! How are you? That's an interesting observation you made about a lot of reaching out going on in the last chapter. I didn't notice it myself until after you said something. I can't promise that will continue because you know how Ziva can be, but at least it's something. I would love to see her come to the realization that the support of their surrogate family could help her through this time, but she is an awfully stubborn lady. Thanks for the review! ~Aliyah_

 _Guest #3 (WLB Part 1) - Hi! Thanks for leaving a review. I'm sorry I couldn't respond earlier, but when people review as guests and aren't signed in I have no way of getting back to you except at the end of a new chapter. I'm so glad to hear you're enjoying the story, that always makes me happy. Yes, as far as I have any control over things, there will be a Season 9 and I'm having so much fun writing down ideas for it that I sometimes get sidetracked from WLB. That being said we're only half-way through WLB right now so it will be some time before we get to Season 9. I always tell people I'm here as long as God allows and grants the inspiration, I do hope it extends to me finishing this series. I hope you enjoyed the chapter, thanks for reading and reviewing! :) ~Aliyah_


	8. Part 8 - June 2011

**Friday June 24 continued**

Almost a week after their last meeting at the park, Leyla and Amira approached the car lot where Shawn worked. Amira was so excited she couldn't hold still, jumping from one foot to the other. When she saw Shawn she pointed and cried, "Mama look! There's Mr. Shawn!"

A little embarrassed when he turned at the sound of her voice, Leyla knelt down and shushed her daughter. "Mr. Shawn is busy habibi, we need to wait and not interrupt." The child's face fell and her shoulders sagged but she followed her mother to a nearby bench, playing peekaboo with Mish and practicing her spelling with Leyla to pass the time.

Several minutes later Shawn finished up with his customers and jogged over to them, still clutching paperwork that needed to be filed, a big grin on his face. "Hey guys! This is a nice surprise."

Amira jumped up and waved a crumpled piece of paper dug from her dress pocket. "Hi Mr. Shawn, this is for you."

He sat down and read the childish printing - RAN CHEK - glancing up at Leyla then back to Amira. "A raincheck?" he interpreted correctly, having been through this learning stage with his nieces. "What for?"

Amira shot a look at her mom and smiled real big at him, throwing her arms up. "Ice cream!"

Shawn chuckled and ruffled her curls. "How did you know I liked ice cream? Thanks Kiddo." He transferred his attention to Leyla. "Is it a special occasion?"

She shook her head. "No. We just decided to go for a treat and Amira wanted to invite Mr. Shawn. When I told her you probably had to work, she insisted on making you a raincheck, all by herself." Her gaze flickered towards the office. "I hope we are not keeping you too long."

He looked down at the papers in his hand. "I do have a bit of paperwork to finish for this sale, but..." Shawn paused before forging ahead, "I actually started early this morning so I'm off once this is filed. If you guys can wait a few more minutes, maybe I could join you for ice cream after all?" He was nervous asking, never wanting to push too far with the cautious young mother, but this would be a step closer to getting to know them better.

Leyla took in her daughter's bright eyes, already knowing her answer. "We can wait."

Elated, Amira threw herself at Shawn for a hug, dancing around in a circle with Mish after he headed back inside. "Mr. Shawn is coming for ice cream! Mr. Shawn is coming for ice cream!"

Watching with a not so small degree of discomfort, Leyla wasn't sure how to handle her little girl's or her own growing attachment to this man.

True to his word Shawn was back in less than fifteen minutes later, a messenger bag slung across his chest. "Alright, are we ready to go?"

Amira slipped her hand into his and nodded enthusiastically. "Yes!"

Shawn fished in his pocket for the little pink paper. "Do you want your raincheck back Miss Amira?"

"No, keep it for next time," she told him dismissively, offering Leyla her little hand to stand up. "Come on Mama, let's go."

Shawn exchanged a quick glance with Leyla and hid his smile as they walked down the sidewalk together, each holding one of Amira's hands, and finally felt a little hopeful. Next time indeed.

 **NCIS**

CJ was sitting on the front porch with a book with Brent and Cody got back from their stress relieving run following the final day of the school year. Ryan was at Wes and Breanna's, celebrating with cake and some basketball. She looked up and smiled, raising her face for a kiss until she took in his rather...drippy appearance. Suppressing the urge to wrinkle her nose, she simply suggested, "After a shower?" and accepted Cody's slightly slobbery hello. At his panting she ruffled his ears. "Let's go check on your water dish pal."

Brent caught her hand before she went inside. "If I rinse off quick, can I entice you into a shared shower?"

Pretending to think about it, CJ finally nodded. "Okay, but only because it's a special occasion."

He made a face at her and sighed dramatically. "I guess I'll take what I can get."

CJ flapped her hand at him. "Hurry it up Hoops man, I'll only be a minute."

Brent grinned and took the stairs two at a time. "Your wish is my command."

Sometime later when they were laying together in bed with only a sheet for covering, Brent ran his fingers through CJ's hair. "So I was thinking about all of us going on a camping trip this summer."

She tilted her head to look at him and sighed. "I knew that was going to come up one of these days."

His brow furrowed. "Don't sound so excited."

She cupped his cheek with a smile. "Marry a man who's in love with the outdoors and risk the consequences." Her lips met his. "I'm not sorry."

Brent grinned. "Okay then, just so we're clear."

CJ's eyes slipped closed, the comfort of being in her husband's arms an allure she had no reason to resist. "Plan it. Tell me the dates. I'll book it off."

He chuckled. "Well that was easier than I thought."

"Sometimes I like to surprise you."

Brent slid his hand under the sheet and whispered, "And I like to return the favour." They didn't get out of bed until it was time to go pick up their son.

 **NCIS**

 **Saturday June 25** \- T away from DC

Ziva stood on Mark and Cassie's familiar porch, hands clasped around a clear salad bowl. She felt strangely nervous, as if she hadn't done this with her husband dozens of times since the group had transitioned from good friends to family. But that was the key phrase - with her husband. Ziva tried to recall but couldn't come up with a single time that she'd come without Tony by her side.

The memory of yesterday resurfaced - she'd been sitting in the office reading a Hebrew book, using the activity as a retreat this time rather than just a way to be reminded of where she grew up. A few pages past her bookmark came an unexpected surprise: another of her husband's precious notes, though this one was more of a letter.

 _Hi sweetheart, I hope you're enjoying the story. I wish Hebrew characters didn't still look so foreign to me, maybe you'll help me figure it out one of these days. I hope the sun is shining today and this gives you a reason to smile. I know what you, what we both are like when we're apart honey, please don't shut everyone else out because you're missing me._

 _Spend time with Gibbs, plan a girl's night with Abby, hang out with the gang and let the kids and girls help you forget for awhile that something isn't quite right. I love you so much Zi, I don't have enough words to explain the depth of that feeling and my commitment to you, our marriage, and our life together._

 _Hold onto the lock mia bella and hopefully soon I'll be home so we can hold onto each other. With all my love, Tony._

Ziva cried reading this one, then got Moses from her bed where he'd been every night since the first she slept alone and cried some more, tracing her husband's familiar writing and feeling anew how much she missed him. It was some time before she could get back to her book and the timing seemed especially profound when Cassie texted her later that afternoon.

 _Mark often says that meeting the need of each member in our group is an important part of being chosen family. Please come to the dinner tomorrow night Ziva. We love and miss you, it's never the same without everyone there. PS. The kids have been asking about you, they want to show you their report cards and tell you about all their plans for the summer - many of which they want to include everyone in. So please...just come okay? You don't have to do anything or explain, just be here with us._

She had to at least smile, Cassie wasn't really known for being concise. And between that and Tony's letter she'd felt compelled to attend the dinner to prove she was at least alive, if not completely well. At last Ziva lifted her hand and knocked on the door, another difference when before she would've walked right in. Cassie opened it a moment later and smiled with relief, pulling the Israeli into a hug.

"I'm so glad you're here." She stepped back and studied her friend. "You look tired. You got your hair cut, it's cute! Thank you for the salad, now Adrian has to eat healthy. Please come in."

Ziva shook her head and slid her arm around Cassie's waist. "You have been spending too much time with Adrian I think." Though the spiel reminded her of Abby too. "Thank you for not giving up on me. I do not have much to give back right now-" She was cut off when the kids came racing around the corner to tackle her with hugs, the others close behind.

In the moments that followed she was thoroughly welcomed back into the fold and Cassie whispered in her ear, "You are all we need Ziva. The rest doesn't matter."

Their usual dinner plans had been modified to include a barbeque since the weather was so nice and everyone was relaxed, drifting in and out of doors as they pleased and generally enjoying each other's company. Then it happened - Darien created a distraction while Adrian threw open the fridge door and grabbed one of the old fashioned bottled sodas everyone knew were Mark and Cassie's special indulgence and took off towards the livingroom. Mark muscled his way past Darien and gave chase but wasn't in time to stop Adrian from escaping out to the backyard. He finally caught up with the delinquent by the climbing tree where Adrian couldn't figure out how to get up it one-handed.

Mark confiscated the bottle and when the wrestling calmed down Cassie marched out and dragged Adrian back in by his ear, the latter howling and complaining the whole time. "Oh come on Cass, it was just a joke! Ouch! You don't think I'd actually drink it, right? Ow! Leggo! Please Sis, I was going to give it back, honest!"

Cassie finally released him in the kitchen and faced her brother with hands on her hips. "You're lucky we're not at Darien's or I'd find a more creative punishment," she threatened. "You are hereby sentenced to dish drying duty. I expect everything to be without even a drop of water. And no dessert."

Now the pout was out full force. "No dessert? But-but Red brought the caramel cookies, you know they're my favourite!"

She shrugged one shoulder flippantly. "Consequences."

Adrian scowled. "Geez, I didn't know you were so heartless."

Emma joined her husband and rubbed his back soothingly. "I'll share mine," she stage whispered to the amusement of the others.

All was forgiven by the time they sat back down at the table and Adrian leaned over to peck Cassie's cheek, eyes twinkling. "Love you Sis."

She rolled her eyes and muttered something about troublesome sibling before giving in and smiling. Ziva watched the proceedings fondly but with a tinge of sadness. Tony would've loved the fun they had today and he would've been right there with Darien and Adrian as part of the mischief. She hated that he was missing out on these moments with his friends.

Not too much later she was in the kitchen, having taken pity on Adrian and assumed responsibility for the clean and wet dishes now resting on the counter. McKenna found her there and began putting away what her aunt was done with. Finally she stopped and looked at the older woman for a long time before speaking. "Did you cut your hair because you're mad Uncle Tony left?"

Ziva set the plate she was drying down carefully and met her niece's serious gaze. "I am not mad at Uncle Tony."

McKenna frowned. "But he loves your hair long. Why'd you change it?"

She wished there was an easier way to explain things to the nine year old. "It makes me sad to look in the mirror and see everything about me that Uncle Tony loves. I am trying to make it hurt less."

McKenna wrapped her arms around Ziva's waist. "Can I help?"

Ziva hugged her back and bent to kiss the top of McKenna's head. "This helps sweetheart, thank you."

The little girl left to play with her cousins and Ziva closed her eyes, breathing shallowly. Cassie found her like that and silently put a hand on her friend's back. Sometimes there were no words for the hurt.

Before she left, having already decided a ride on Jules was needed to clear her head and relax after being with so many people and drowned in their care, Cassie pressed a small jar of jam into her hand. "Everyone in the group gets at least one. It's strawberry-pineapple, a strange combination I know, but that flavour has become the favourite. I hope you enjoy it." She paused briefly, then continued. "We saved a couple jars for Tony too, you know his sweet tooth. The kids would like to give it to him...when he gets back, if that's okay."

Ziva's heart got just a little bit heavier but she still managed a small smile. "I am sure he would like that. Goodbye Cassie and...thank you."

Cassie made the offer even though she knew it was likely to go unaccepted. "Anytime Ziva, we mean that."

She gave a single nod and turned away. "I know."

Watching her go was hard, not knowing when they'd see her next. At this rate it was going to be a very long summer indeed.

 **NCIS**

 **Sunday June 26** \- T away from DC

Early on Saturday morning Ziva sat in the office chair with her tea watching the sun rise and thinking about something Gibbs said when they were painting Kelly's room, or maybe later when she helped with the furniture. She mentioned having a similar desk and spending hours drawing on it and Gibbs suggesting she get back to doing that for fun. She had also been thinking about art during that long day of painting, she'd found the simple act calming and soothing and wondered why she hadn't tried something in that vein as an outlet instead of always choosing something physical.

Meira came over and rested her muzzle on Ziva's knee. She pet the dog absently and murmured, " _Perhaps it is time to do something different, yes?_ " With that she went to the spare room for a flat box leaning against the back wall with the Creative Expressions logo emblazoned on the side. Stripping away the packaging, she gazed at the folding easel that had been part of her art supply splurge a couple months ago. After a moment of thought she decided to set it up in the kitchen/entry and took one of their breakfast bar stools to use as a chair.

A return trip to the office produced tubes of paint and a palette and a handful of brushes. Last she considered both options and chose to pin up a fresh clean white sheet of paper, leaving the canvas for another time. Then Ziva donned an old, light blue dress shirt probably swiped from her husband years ago to use as a smock and turned up the sleeves. Picking up a brush, she closed her eyes and pictured their Christmas trip to St. Martin and the beautiful room and view from their private balcony. She opened her eyes again and swirled the brush through a light blue for the sky, setting about bringing those memories to life.

 **NCIS**

Earlier Brent had enjoyed a spirited basketball game with the guys and an afternoon where the amigos spent the whole time brainstorming a list of everything they wanted to do over the summer - even before he had his own kid,Brent was the natural choice to be summer activities director because he wasn't working and despite parental concern about taking advantage of him, he always had a blast hanging out with them, and Darien and Adrian too when they decided to tag along. The list included but was not limited to - re-visiting the spy museum, going swimming (with Wes and Breanna as well), working on the treehouse, biking on the trails (this one was mostly for Ryan and Grandpa, but could be used with others as well), a visit to the zoo, seeing some good movies at the theater, and playing mini golf.

But now he was relaxing on the couch with his wife and son during _How to Train Your Dragon_ when the phone rang. He reached over to the end table for the handset. "MacKay residence."

"Hello Brent," came a familiar voice.

He grinned. "Hey Aunt Kate, how's it going?" The lady, or at least her voice, was a regular presence in their house, calling a couple times a month to catch up with her pseudo niece and godson.

She smiled. "The sun is shining, it's eighty degrees, and I can hear the ocean from my window - it's a good day. How are you?"

"No complaints. We're all resting up after basketball. Did you want CJ?"

"Well, actually it concerns both of you. I was wondering..." she hesitated briefly "...would it be okay if I came to visit for about a week in July? I haven't seen my monkey since Christmas and I really need some quality time. And of course it would be great to see you and CJ as well."

Brent chuckled, lacing his fingers with this wife's. "We're fine with taking second place Aunt Kate. We know Ry is the real draw."

"I helped raise the child for eight years, I'm finding I don't do well with just occasionally seeing him now."

"We'll have to see what we can do about that," Brent put in, already wracking his brain for a solution. The problem wasn't financial but time was an issue and even though Ryan was going to be ten next year, he knew that might not be old enough for CJ to be comfortable putting her - their - son on a plane by himself. "Let me check with CJ, but I'm pretty sure I know her answer." He held the phone against his chest. "Want company in July? Aunt Kate is missing Ry."

CJ's eyes lit up and she grabbed the receiver. "Of course Aunt Kate, come! We'd love to have you." She raised her eyebrows at her husband and received an enthusiastic nod in return. "When?" She mimed writing a note and Brent grabbed the pad and paper by the phone base. "Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Okay. Brent and I will talk about it and let you know." Aunt Kate said something and CJ glanced warmly at him. "Yeah, I like being part of a couple. Thanks. So tell me, what have you been up to? Are Jeff and Amy having fun?" Her mouth dropped open. "She is?! Why didn't he tell me? Oh, I'm going to clobber that man the next time I see him." She laughed. "Well yes, after I hug him and sat congrats. Wow, that's awesome, you must be so exicted! What are you going to do with two of them?"

Her expression softened. "Yeah, that will be fun. Oh, I'm so jealous that I'm missing all this." At Brent's look she kissed his cheek. "But I'm really happy to be where I am." Her brow furrowed and she glanced at him again. "I'm not sure if we can get away in the fall, but maybe...well, I'll talk to him about that too. I don't know if it's fair for Ryan and I both to ditch Brent for a week, though he is very good at taking care of himself. Okay. I love you too. Want Ry? Okay, bye." She handed he phone to her son. "Aunt Kate for you monkey."

Once their child was occupied, Brent nudged her wearing an amused expression. "What was that all about? The only thing I caught is that Jeff is in trouble and you're contemplating abandoning me to run off to California."

CJ buried her face against his arm for a minute, regaining her composure. "Jeff is in big trouble! He somehow neglected to tell me that his wife is pregnant! And so is Amy! They're only going to be a couple months apart." She bit her lip. "I would like to go when they're born, but I know it's a lot to ask."

He put his arm around her and kissed the side of her head. "We can certainly talk about it Kris. I know how important Jeff and Amy are to you."

"It would be a week both times. I'm not sure about leaving Ryan, but he would probably be bored if it's all about the babies anyways. And it would be nice-" She stopped and cut her eyes to Ryan but didn't finish the thought even though he wasn't paying any attention to parents.

Brent tried to figure out what was on her mind and it suddenly hit him. "You've never been away from Ryan, away by yourself." She'd been away, the first time, for their honeymoon but to realize that in the entirety of that little boy's life she'd probably never had time that was all hers was enlightening to say the least.

She felt guilty for even having thought it. "Never mind."

He brought her hand to his lips, speaking quietly while Ryan was on the phone. "There's no shame in asking for what you want or need honey. I think I'm up for the challenge of solo parenting for a week if that's what works." He tipped her chin up and kissed her softly. "But I'll miss you like crazy." Another kiss. "In bed, at the breakfast table, after school, for coffee at night, at the park, at basketball." With each location he kissed her again until finally Ryan groaned loudly.

Aunt Kate must've inquired about the reason because he shot a glare in their direction. "Mom and Dad are kissing again. I hope I never have to do that. It's so gross."

All the adults burst out laughing and Brent finally managed to interject. "Just wait a few years buddy. We'll have this talk again when you're fifteen."

The nine year old simply rolled his eyes and said goodbye to Aunt Kate. "Come on Cody, let's go chase some squirrels."

His parents watched him go and CJ placed her hands on Brent's face, brushing her mouth over his. "Are you up for a little more 'gross' stuff later beloved?"

Brent wrapped his arms more firmly around her. "Absolutely Mrs. MacKay. I wouldn't turn that offer down for all the world."

 **NCIS**

McGee stood side by side with his usual partner in crime fighting, but today their tools were butter knives instead of computer keys and their targets were the homeless and hungry, not bad guys with guns. Their respective stacks of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches had grown considerably after half an hour and Tim looked at the black haired girl he'd never really fallen out of love with.

"I think it's great that you like to do this."

She glanced over and smiled. "I like to be able to give back. I don't want to forget to appreciate how much I have. The least I can do is give my time." Abby swiped a generous helping of strawberry jam on her current sandwich. "Thanks for coming. It's nice to have the company."

He wondered if it had been enough time since their reconciliation to ask for more. Setting down his knife, McGee leaned against the counter. "Abbs-"

Whatever he was about to say remained unsaid when one of the ladies who helped run the shelter walked in. "How're you two doing back here?" she asked with a big smile.

Abby returned it. "Halfway there."

"Good," Maribelle nodded. "The lunchroom is starting to fill in so we're going to need every single one." She touched Abby's arm. "You will stay and talk with folks awhile, right? I think it makes them feel good to know people care enough to take the time."

Unable to turn down the request, Abby shared a brief glance with her companion. "Of course."

"Wonderful, thank you. Then I'll let you get back to work."

Maribelle left and Abby swivelled back towards Tim, feeling butterflies because of what might be coming. "What were you going to-"

Tim shook his head and leaned over to kiss her temple. The moment was well and truly over. "Some other time." He paused and then shot her a grin. "I challenge you to a race. First one to finish their bags of bread wins. Go!"

Jumping in with both feet, Abby began putting her multi-tasking skills to work. But the slight disappointment she felt over the interruption made her wonder if she had a good answer to the question he hadn't gotten the chance to ask.

 **NCIS**

With her completed painting now drying on the easel, Ziva drifted over to the kitchen but couldn't summon any interest for a late supper - not even the casserole she'd found in the garage freezer on a night she'd stayed late at work. A note from Mark had been on the front door, directing her to where he'd stored it. She couldn't help smiling at their continued care despite her current state of mind. Instead she leaned on the counter and pressed play on the answering machine, deleting old unnecessary messages and keeping those that were special. It was a surprise to come across the one Tony mentioned a long time ago from her trip to Israel to see Aunt Nettie before everything between them fell apart the following summer.

" _Good morning Tony! Either you have gone for a run or Gibbs kept you overnight for a case, but in any event I am sorry I missed you. I wish you were here ahava, I miss you very much. I will be home in three days and even though I love Aunt Nettie, I look forward to being in your arms again above all else. Smile when you think of me and I will try to dream of you. I love you Tony. Shalom."_

When it finished she understood why he'd kept it and wistfully noted how different she sounded two and a half years ago. A summer in the pit of despair had changed many things about her, the shift in her tone only one of them. And - wait, did she just make a movie reference? Her lips curved slightly. Tony would be so proud. It was a shame he missed out on even the little things these days.

A couple messages later Ziva came to one with her husband's voice. " _Hey Zi, I guess I've caught you out at the gym. I hope you're keeping those guys in line._ " He paused and she could hear something indefinable in the background. " _I'm fine. Having lots of fun with the saddle sores and chafing, not to mention my awesomely painful accelerated tan. Plus hat hair, let's not forget about that. Y'know, I think we should add Arizona to our list of places to NEVER GO ON VACATION._ "

Tony cleared his throat. " _Sorry, I'm just uh...not looking forward to sharing a campfire with Gibbs in case he starts asking all sorts of deep, personal, probing questions_ -" The machine cut his rambling off and Ziva had to cover her mouth with her hand to stifle the laughter when it moved onto the next message and Tony was still talking. She'd forgotten about this one.

" _That darn piece of technology cut me off! Here I am stranded in the middle of nowhere with my boss and missing my wife like crazy and now the answering machine won't even record a decent message. We really need to change the settings on that thing Zi."_

Finally taking a breath, Tony calmed down. " _Okay, I'm done. Hope you at least smiled instead of just rolling your eyes at me. I love you honey, can't wait to be home_." He paused. " _Oops, gotta go. Gibbs is yelling something about taking too long to go to the bathroom. I'll have to tell him the attendant was busy and I wanted my free cologne spritz. Sweet dreams, bye_."

Closing her eyes, Ziva replayed both messages and bent over, leaning her head on her arms. She never knew it was possible to miss someone this much. At least, not since the day Eli told her her sister was never coming home. She fervently prayed she would never get the same kind of news about the man to whom she'd given her entire heart.

 **NCIS**

By the fifth day Gibbs' wainscoting effort had finally paid off. Snapping the last piece into place on the bottom of the fold up beds bred a feeling of satisfaction and he stood back to take it all in. The walls looked really good if he did say so himself and the addition to normal paint took the space even further away from the little girl room he started with. Figuring it was progress that he'd started thinking of it as the guest room lately rather than Kelly's old room also felt like a step forward.

Adding the leftover bits of wainscoting to the murphy beds hadn't been part of his original plan but they'd looked rather out of place next to the smooth flow of the rest of the room and now he was glad to have tried that. The cabinets that hid the fold up beds were almost completely camouflaged now and he liked it that way, since they weren't going to be in use on a regular basis unless Abby insisted on another sleepover when Tony got back. Funny, he wasn't even dreading it this time.

Thinking of his Senior Field Agent caused Gibbs' shoulders to slump. Six weeks he'd been gone for. Six weeks with nary a peep about what he was into or any update on how long it might take. Sure he had popped into the office on occasion and Gibbs hadn't checked the security footage, but he'd bet money DiNozzo was actually coming quite often late at night and doing his work then as he used to on his early days with the team. Less distractions = a more productive agent, especially for the man whose initials were ADD.

Wanting a drink because he didn't like being out of the loop and he needed his team back together - they functioned best when not separated like he'd told the SecNav - Gibbs started towards the basement but changed course and dropped onto the sofa instead, grabbing his box on the floor with one hand and his phone with the other. Talking to Celeste was a better remedy than bourbon and this way he could get some more work done on her Christmas present. He wasn't there yet, however, slowly but surely he was making his way to the end. Then only one more step remained before he sent (or maybe even hand delivered) it right to her door. That was a moment worth looking forward to.

 **NCIS**

 **Monday June 27** \- T away from DC, TZ 6 year partner anniversary

Five am on Monday morning found Ziva stepping through the doors of Ops with a group of others as soon as Duke unlocked them. His eyebrows rose at her entrance but she merely followed the two other ladies, one Army and one Marine, into the changeroom. They exchanged brief pleasantries before Ziva stripped off her outer layer, put her headphones in, and turned the Hebrew music up loud to block everything and everyone out.

A half hour weight program was succeeded by twenty minutes with the punching bag and topped off with forty-five minutes of running on the treadmill. She felt marginally lighter, physical exertion temporarily shifting the usual burden, however after the way Duke studied her Ziva wished she'd done her run outside instead. She was relieved then to see Melissa arrive just before seven and the owner shut himself into the office. After starting her period yesterday, a normal one this month thankfully, her hormones were a bit out of whack and if he tried to pry into her business she'd probably regret whatever came out of her mouth in response. Better just to avoid the confrontation altogether.

A glance at the clock showed the need for a speedy shower but even so Ziva breezed into work with her hair French braided and out of the way barely a minute before starting time. She frowned at the numbers and decided that tomorrow she would get up earlier and run first before Ops. The rest of today would be spent trying to find the best way to utilize the gym for an extra workout tonight. As noted previously, Ziva was relatively certain that Duke would not appreciate her presence in his establishment a second time in one day. Unfortunately for him, in this matter he had no say. Sleep lately had been impossible unless she was so tired that was the only option.

The day passed slowly for Ziva, but despite that she still sat at her desk long after the others had left, chin propped on her hand and eyes focused on the desk across from hers, seeing a scene that had played out in this very room on a very special occasion for two members of the team over three hundred sixty-five days previous.

 _ **One year ago...**_

" _Hey Zi, do you know what tomorrow is?"_

 _Ziva looked up from the file she was working on and found the bullpen blessedly empty but for them. She glanced at her desk calendar, brow furrowing when nothing jumped out at her, and back at him with a questioning expression._

 _He sighed dramatically. "It's our five year partner anniversary!"_

 _Ziva sat back in her chair. "Five years..." She flashed back to the early morning she'd spent alone in the squadroom wondering where everyone was, until Tony walked in muttering to himself and started his routine, much to her shock and disgust. If someone had suggested in that moment she'd marry him just over a year later, they likely would've ended up with a bullet wound. Her eyes flashed. "I still owe you for that dirt."_

 _Tony's mouth fell open and then he winced as he remembered using seniority to make her crawl through a dump truck full of dirt he was pretty sure didn't contain any evidence. "Ahh..." He hung his head. "Yeah, I have no defense for that. I don't suppose the statute of limitation on partner revenge has run out?"_

 _Ziva chuckled, twirling her pen. "I guess I can let you away with it this once." He had more than made up for those first eight months in so many other ways._

 _His breath whooshed out in relief. "Thanks." She'd almost gone back to paperwork when Tony leaned forward. "So...how should we celebrate?"_

 _Many options scrolled through her mind until Ziva hit on something more unique than their usual choices. "The zoo?" she suggested._

 _Tony blinked. "Really?"_

" _We have never gone and I think it would be fun." She shrugged one shoulder. "If you want."_

" _I always want to go somewhere with you babe, doesn't matter where. But since we did an aquarium last year, the zoo sounds right up our alley."_

 _And it had been. They excused themselves from basketball, Tony brought cupcakes and lit candles that they blew out to commemorate the day. Then the couple wandered hand in hand down tree-lined paths and looked at every animal there including tigers, grizzly bears, chimps, and leopards. They took many pictures together and of each other, as well as including the many species they came across. When permissible, Tony insisted they take their turn to feed the giraffes, pygmy goats, and lemurs. Despite earlier sugar consumed, they also split a funnel cake and he leaned across the table to kiss her, blaming it on the icing sugar, but that may well have just been an excuse. It was a sunny, relaxing, laughter filled day and Ziva, as well as Tony, relished the freedom to be an anonymous husband and wife in a crowd full of strangers._

The memory was sharp and clear and not for the first time did she resent the ability to recall details so easily. Aching like a pain from missing her husband built in her chest until Ziva could barely breathe. Realizing she had to do something, she grabbed her gym bag and jumped in the car to make good on her earlier plans. Making it to Ops in record time, she blew in like a whirlwind and demanded of Duke whether Derek was free to spar. Their skills were well matched but he was better than her and tonight alone that fact didn't bother her. She desperately needed the challenge as a distraction.

Duke eyed her warily, concerned because she'd just been in this morning and seeing her twice in the same day was a first. "He's just finishing up with a client, should be done by the time you change." She nodded and headed for the changerooms. "Ziva," he called, waiting for her to look back, "is everything okay?" Before the summer started seeing his friend that upset was rare, but it had been the case more and more often lately when she put in an appearance.

Ziva shook her head. "No," but filled in no more of the blanks.

She and Derek met in one of the smaller back rooms and spent three quarters of an hour engaged in hand to hand combat. A sheen of sweat covered Ziva's skin, she was breathing hard and so exhausted she was shaking by the end, but the release had been just what she needed. She bent over, resting hands on her knees. "Thank you," she managed when she was able to draw a deep breath. The bruises and soreness would be worth it tomorrow.

Derek shook her hand. "It is an honour to fight such a worthy opponent."

She spent a long time in the shower washing off sweat and frustration and longing. Afraid of a lecture from Duke or any prying questions on the way out, Ziva was relieved when he left it at, "Don't forget to stretch." Tonight of all nights she was not up for an explanation.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs slid the new curtains onto the rods he'd just screwed above both windows and stood back, hands on his hips, to survey the fruit of all his labour. It had been a long, taxing month but the results were rewarding beyond belief. A slow glance around the room checked to see if he'd missed anything. The empty space in front of the desk caught his eye and Gibbs' brow furrowed in concentration. He could build a chair for it, sure. That would be peanuts compared to the other projects he'd completed thus far.

An idea began percolating in the back of his mind and caused a slow smile to spread across his face. A custom desk chair. And wouldn't it be a nice surprise if he made it to fit his ex-wife's height? So when they finally made it to the future he hoped for, Celeste would know how long he'd been planning for it and see the effort he'd put in. He could already imagine the look on her face at that revelation, which was enough motivation to send him back to the basement when he'd rather take a break. He wanted to at least get started on this one last thing tonight.

 **NCIS**

Cassie was in the bathroom getting ready for bed and Mark coming upstairs after doing a check to make sure windows and doors were locked because it made his wife feel better. He was met at the top by a pj bedecked Tinkerbell, although her hair was brown instead of blonde, the usual pigtails also absent since she'd been sleeping. He sat down on the first step and pulled her into his lap.

"What's up Hugs? It's late."

McKenna tipped her head to the side. "Will you dance with me Daddy, like in my dream?"

The tradition went back to before her memories even existed. When she was a tiny newborn that wouldn't stop crying he would hum and sway around the room with her little body cradled in his big hands. As an eight month old in her pretty fall dress he held her and danced in circles through the livingroom. His eighteen month old princess had only been walking a few months when he took her tiny fingers and turned her in circles until she giggled and fell down. At three she would place her feet on his as he taught her how to waltz in the open space in front of the couch.

On and on the memories went, from toddler to little girl to one getting so grown up so fast he could hardly keep up. And many times in every year would come the sweet request, "Dance with me Daddy."

Mark cherished those words and the title, dreading a time when she would not longer want to do the first and would outgrow the second for the more casual 'Dad'. For now he treasured the intimacy of 'Daddy' and held her close, kissing her hair. "As you wish."

McKenna jumped to her feet and curtsied, holding out her nightgown like an elegant dress. Mark stood to bow from the waist, then took her hand and led her downstairs and out to the back porch. There under the stars he danced with his little girl while in the upstairs window his wife wiped away happy tears that came from the joy of watching her husband be a wonderful father, and the knowledge that this was a moment McKenna would likely never forget.

 **NCIS**

 **Tuesday June 28** \- T in DC, not at NCIS

On their second official day of summer break the amigos planned a playdate, deciding on Uncle Zip and Aunt Emma's basement as the location and haggled with parents for rides after calling to check that it was okay. Emma had to be at the daycare but being his own boss and less busy with studio appointments in summer, Adrian simply closed Flash for the morning and agreed that an amigo invasion would be a blast.

Mark and his two arrived first, and though they would've rushed straight downstairs without even a hello, Mark reminded them of their manners so both Alec and McKenna stopped to greet their uncle and say goodbye to Dad before racing for the stairs. Mark watched them go and shook his head. "Gee, I hope you don't feel used or anything."

Adrian shrugged good naturedly. "I can handle being loved for my super cool basement. Plus, we both know I'll have just as much fun down there, if not more." He glanced towards the open door to downstairs. "What'd you guys do yesterday to celebrate the beginning of vacation?"

Mark slid his hands into his pockets. "I had to be at work early but the monsters were already up when I left and according to a text from Cass, outside with hammers to work on their treehouse right after breakfast. Apparently they only took breaks to eat and then dragged me out for advice and to see the progress as soon as I got home." He grinned. "I gotta tell you Zip, I'm really impressed by their initiative and how much they got accomplished."

"Is it almost finished?"Adrian asked, propping an arm on the doorframe.

Mark hemmed and hawed about that one. "Well...the thing is, we never really discussed what that would mean. So for now we'll see how the summer goes and hopefully figure out something from there." He aimed a questioning look at his friend. "You want to be on the list if we end up installing anything else not suited for construction workers under twelve?"

Adrian grinned, remembering the swings, slides, climbing rope, trapeze bar and rings, and pulley system that had been slowly added one at a time by request of their favourite kids. "Count me in. But you oughta ask Mr. Renovation Specialist I-can-do-it-all-by-myself-without-any-help-thank-you-very-much."

Mark recalled the offers of help from the gang that had been nicely but repeatedly turned down. "You talked to Red recently?" He'd still been at basketball and the group dinners and barbeque, but notably absent in other ways.

Adrian wrinkled his nose. "Briefly. He's a busy guy. But making progress - he started the laundryroom yesterday and is thinking maybe three weeks for that one. To be honest, with D gone and Red shunning us, I'm kinda missing my partners in crime." Darien had certainly been taking his turns helping out with Ziva, like mowing her lawn last Saturday when she mentioned going riding after their dinner, but Adrian wished the big guy would let them around more.

Mark nodded thoughtfully. "Maybe we'll have to crash his place sometime and help whether he asks for it or not. Mention it to Jay if you see him."

His eyebrows rose. "Aren't we all going to see him for his birthday on Wednesday?" Mark's eyes widened and Adrian chuckled. "Forget?"

Mark winced. "Not really. I mean, yes in the sense that I didn't think about it being this week, but no I didn't forget what month Jordan was born in." He rubbed his face. Cassie would be appalled that he'd missed that little detail and she'd definitely want to do something to make him feel special. But Jordan would probably be with his family on the actual day of his birth... He picked up in the middle of that thought for Adrian. "Maybe we can make a big deal out of it at the water park Saturday? I'm sure Cassie would be happy to bring a picnic basket full of birthday treats."

"Emma and I can make sandwiches," Adrian agreed. "Maybe assign fruit and veggies to Jordan and Allie and not make him think anything is going on. We can all text or call to say 'Happy Birthday' on Wednesday and just leave it at that."

It was highly unlikely that Jordan would be genuinely surprised by cupcakes - everyone in the gang had been the victim of one of Cassie's birthday celebrations at some point. The woman just couldn't let a special day go by unrecognized and they all loved her for it. "Sounds good."

Another car pulled into the driveway and Mark lifted a hand to Brent as he got out. "Well, have fun Zip. Call when you get tired of them."

"It'll never happen," Adrian assured his friend.

Ryan ran over with hugs for both uncles and acknowledged his cousins, who'd come upstairs to check for him. McKenna jumped up and down and waved. "Peter Pan, come play!"

Ryan called goodbye to his dad and followed the other kids. "Want to work on our list?"

Alec nodded. "Sure. We can totally come up with more cool stuff to do this summer."

"Maybe talk to Wes and Breanna too?"

McKenna lit up. Breanna was a special friend and Wes...well, she liked being around him as well. "That would be super fun. I bet they have different ideas than us."

Brent, who'd overheard Mark's comment to Adrian, offered a different plan. "Actually, if it's okay CJ and I would like to have all three of them for dinner."

"Oh." Mark contemplated a non-planned date night or, at the very least, dinner alone with his wife. "Sold. Let us know when you're done hosting."

"How about eight? Time for food and a movie or games, some time with the dog, but doesn't interfere with bedtime."

"Sounds good." Mark checked his watch. "I've got a client in twenty so I better go. Thanks for entertaining my kids guys, see you later."

Instead of taking his leave too, Brent stuck around another fifteen minutes to hang out with Adrian, then abandoned him to the three kids in his basement. "Good luck Zippy."

Adrian winked. "Who needs luck when you've got sugar? I'll send them to your place with more energy than they came with."

Brent rolled his eyes. "You would." A check of the time let him know that if he hurried he could say hello to his wife inbetween classes and maybe stay for a workout so they could share lunch when she had her midday break. All in all, not a bad start to the holiday.

 **NCIS**

Ziva was still at her desk when Gibbs went down to say goodnight to Abby and confirm their plans for dinner the following evening - a sight not unusual these days. That hadn't changed by the time Ducky passed through the squadroom to bid adieu or when Director Vance left, already on the phone to apologize to Jackie for being late. She didn't move as he stood, grabbed his jacket, and switched off the desk light. Gibbs recalled her telling McGee she had some files to work on, but with the overtime she'd been putting in lately it didn't seem possible that there'd be anything left to catch up on.

He stopped by her desk while fixing the collar on his jacket. "Heading home Ziver?"

"Hmm?" Ziva appeared not to have heard him. "Oh, goodnight Gibbs."

Gibbs frowned, watching as she typed, glancing from page to computer screen often. "What's that?"

She flapped her hand in the direction of the back elevator. "Someone in...archives or records brought up another box of cold case files from before everything was on computer. Like the others they needed to be reviewed by an agent before being put in the system."

That had been happening a couple times a month for the last year and a half. He was beginning to wonder how many boxes there were - Carter's team had been similarly afflicted - and if Ziva planned to make it through the rest of them single-handedly. The typing continued and he could see she had no intention of leaving anytime soon. Gibbs reached for his keys. "Didn't think you needed anymore overtime."

This time Ziva didn't even look up. "I have many sick days to make up for."

At this point he leaned his hands on the edge of her desk. "You're allowed to take sick days Ziva, it's okay to be human."

She dropped what she was doing and glared up at him. "Why does everyone feel the need to remind me of that as if I do not already know?"

Taken aback by her vehemence, Gibbs studied her flashing eyes. "What's wrong Ziver?"

In an instant the emotion was shuttered behind her dark gaze and a well known mask from days gone by and Ziva's attention returned to the file. "Nothing. Everything. I have work to do."

Uncertain of what to do with the rebuff, Gibbs opted to stand down for now. "See ya tomorrow kid."

"Bye," she mumbled, sounding as if she regretted whatever insight he'd probably gleaned from her behaviour.

The woman might've been Mossad in another life, but she wasn't nearly as good at lying as she thought and one way or another he was going to get to the bottom of a change that was making everyone who knew her more than a little uneasy.

 **NCIS**

Gibbs set his fork down after the last bite and smiled at Leyla. "That was really good. You always surprise me."

Leyla chuckled and stood to clear their plates. "Mike complained every time I made food he did not recognize. But that did not stop him from eating every bit...and asking for seconds."

"Mike just liked to complain, it didn't mean anything. He threatened to kick me out a couple times every day of the months I was living in that shack, groused about me moping and losing his solitude. But we still ended every day in chairs on the porch with cold beers in our hands." He shook his head. "Mike."

Amira looked at her mother. "Mama, where is Jaddi?"

Leyla's shoulders sagged and her eyes shadowed. That was a question she'd heard too many times since they arrived in DC. She set the plates in the sink and knelt before the little girl's chair, smoothing her hand over soft curls. Knowing Mike didn't have any concrete beliefs about the afterlife, she never quite knew what to tell her daughter. "Jaddi is at the cemetery habibi. Would you like to go visit tomorrow?" They'd often made that journey over the last month. It was heartbreaking to listen to Amira tell a cold stone everything she wanted her grandfather to know.

Amira crossed her arms and pouted. "I want to see him."

Scooping the child into her arms, Leyla sat down with Amira in her lap and hugged her close. "I know albi, so do I." _Arabic - my heart_. They stayed quiet for a few moments, then Leyla kissed Amira and set her down. "Go play darling, while Papa Gibbs and I talk."

Amira frowned. "I want to talk too."

Her mother suppressed a smile. "You can talk to him next and if you ask nicely, maybe Papa Gibbs will read you a story before bed."

Amira's face lit up and she looked hopefully at Gibbs. He nodded. "You bet." Back to herself, she skipped towards her play area and Gibbs looked at Leyla, who stood with her hands braced on the counter, an air of fragility clinging to her despite how strong he knew she was.

He placed a hand on her shoulder. "What can I do?" Leyla turned and fell into his arms. Gibbs held her tightly, running one hand slowly up and down her back, and finally rested his cheek on her hair. "You never got a chance to grieve for Mike, did you?"

She shook her head slightly, then pulled back and wiped her eyes. "There is no time," she whispered. "I am a mother to my daughter all day and at night we share the same room, often even the same bed. It would scare her if I cried and her life is too uncertain as it is. I cannot add to that." Tears continued leaking down her cheeks as she spoke and Gibbs used a rough thumb to rub some away.

"I can take Amira for a couple days," he offered without thinking, "give you a little space."

Leyla took a deep breath and smiled. "While I am sure she would love to be your shadow for that length of time, I am not ready to be parted from her yet. We never have been since she was born and I do not think I would do well alone. But maybe...someday."

"Don't leave it too long," he cautioned, knowing the damage that kind of control could do. To break the seriousness of the moment, Gibbs started running water for the dishes. They cleaned up in companionable silence until he bumped her shoulder. "So, you see any more of that Shawn guy?" Leyla's eyebrows rose and he smirked. "I've got a vested interest in making sure you're settled and happy." She pretended to ignore him but he stared her down and finally she rolled her eyes.

"He has been around a couple more times this month," she admitted. "Amira is starting to count on seeing him which makes me nervous when we are barely even friends. But I cannot deny her something that brings her joy."

"To you too?" Gibbs didn't miss the way her expression softened at the mention of this man.

Leyla dropped her eyes, struggling to answer, and in the end she didn't. "You better go see your goddaughter. She probably has ten books picked out by now."

Gibbs' face said he knew she was avoiding the subject but he dried his hands and followed orders, walking towards the livingroom. "Okay Amira Rose, what are we reading tonight?" He'd come back to the guy later, for tonight he had a little girl to cuddle and maybe a bedtime to be part of. It didn't get any better than this.

 **NCIS**

 **Wednesday June 29** \- T at work briefly, TZ at bar together 2 weeks ago

Brent grabbed his keys from the hook by the front door and opened it just in time to greet his wife, coming home for her couple hour break between sets of classes. He kissed her surprised face and leaned against the wall, just enjoying looking at her. CJ flashed him a smile. "And where are you off too?"

He shook the keys. "Chauffeur. The amigos conspired with Wes and Breanna. Faith and Drew are about to be overrun by the whole motley crew."

She studied his expression. "Does that bother you?"

Brent started to answer in the negative, then shrugged one shoulder. "Well...y'know. With the extent to which they've planned their schedules so far, I'm beginning to think my title of Summer Activities Director is in jeopardy." He twirled her ponytail around his finger. "And they're all getting older, soon they won't need me at all."

CJ caressed his cheek. "Dad and Uncle Swish fall out of favour? Not even possible. You'll be in the bleachers cheering for every middle school and high school basketball game, soccer, volleyball - whatever they choose. You'll still know the answers to every sports question and all the funny stories, embarrassing moments, and inside jokes since they were born and we moved here." She leaned up to kiss him gently. "There may come a day when they'll need you a little less, but they will never stop loving you."

He captured her lips again and sighed. "Good pep talk Mrs. Coach, I needed that."

She rolled her eyes at the title so bestowed upon her by some of his basketball kids when she dropped by practice. "Glad to help. So, any idea what they're up to?"

Brent shrugged. "Not a clue. But I'm sure with five of them there'll be no shortage of mischief to plot."

CJ draped her arms over his shoulders. "A little bit of mischief isn't going to hurt anyone. I'm just so glad to see Ryan have such a great, close group of friends. When he was little I was never sure he'd be part of something like that, he was so serious and reserved. And it's encouraging that his friends aren't only family, but he's gotten comfortable with people outside that group as well."

"Basketball has been good for him," Brent agreed. He checked his watch and yelled through the hall door, "Ryan, we're going to be late if you told them eleven." The next moment his attention was back on her. "What time's your next class?" Keeping track of her teaching schedule was a challenge sometimes, even after knowing her this long.

CJ's eyes sparkled. "It was canceled because not enough people signed up. I guess the weather is just too nice out for them to want to be indoors." Her fingers swirled through the hair on the back of his head. "I was thinking maybe I'd just enjoy the afternoon with my boys." Not having to worry about what a paycheck looked like with one less class on it was only one of the freedoms she'd found in being married. "But since the kid has other plans, maybe I can have my husband all to myself?"

The twinkle in her steady gaze turned his mood around in a hurry and he was suddenly very thankful Ryan was otherwise occupied today. "A whole afternoon together? Whatever will we find to do?"

She kissed him then, letting more than just a hint of passion show. "I'll have to keep you guessing. But if you want a hint, the first part involves me in nothing but a towel after my shower."

That part was murmured quite low in deference to little ears that might be nearby, but Brent still gave her an ear to ear grin, covering her mouth with his. "What a fantastic idea." He rested his forehead on hers. "Any chance I can convince you to hold off on that shower for about twenty minutes? It would be even better if there was room for two."

CJ slipped out of his hold and spun around, winking at him as she sashayed towards the kitchen. "No promises." She disappeared from sight but poked her head around the wall before he followed a rushing little boy out the door. "Hurry back if you don't want to miss the best part."

Brent sent her what he hoped amounted to a rakish expression and went after his son. Unexpected surprises were the very best kind.

 **NCIS**

"So," Ryan looked back at his list after they came back inside from playing basketball, "can anyone think of something else to add?"

Breanna, distracted by the book McKenna brought to lend her, missed what Ryan said until Wes nudged her, "Bree." He was the only one who got to call her that, she preferred the full form of her name from everyone else, even her parents.

Ryan's expression was sheepish. "Sorry, I forgot." He'd been friends with the siblings for weeks before realizing there was a reason they were always in the same group at basketball practice and that Coach often touched Breanna's shoulder before talking to her.

Breanna was born with slight hearing loss and though she'd managed alright when small, once she entered school is became harder. They tried hearing aids for awhile but she never really liked them. At six Breanna started with a speech teacher learning how to read lips and a year later the family began taking ASL classes together and practicing the skill at home, preparing for the day her doctors said would eventually come - a complete loss of the hearing she had left. She covered for the lack of hearing well and her brother did what he could to help. Because of that part of their relationship, brother and sister did a lot together and shared a close friendship.

Since learning all that Ryan had taken his cues from Wes and it became a habit to make sure he was always facing Breanna before he started talking to her as well as not going too fast. After their first summer together at camp Alec and McKenna picked up the same tips but occasionally one of them still neglected to make sure Breanna was paying attention when they began speaking.

Gracious when her friends made that kind of mistake, Breanna smiled and made the sign for 'no problem'. "What'd I miss?"

Alec filled her in. "Ryan wondered if there should be anything else on our list."

Breanna tilted her head and thought about it. "Strawberry picking?"

"Ooh, good one!" McKenna agreed, touching her friend's arm lightly. "We went with our family already, but I've never gone with friends."

Wes snapped his fingers. "What about the circus? If there's one in town I mean. Bree and I went once, there was a lot of neat stuff to see."

Ryan scribbled down ideas as they were called out. "We should get ice cream sometime too."

McKenna perked up. "From the truck? I love those things!" She shot a concerned look at her friend. "Can you hear the ice cream truck music?"

Used to the questions that came up by now, Breanna nodded and smiled. "They play it very loud."

McKenna seemed relieved but a look from Alec stopped her from saying more. He admired Wes a great deal and was always wary of offending the other boy when it came to his sister. Wes was extremely protective of her.

They eventually ran out of things to add to the paper and instead set up The Memory Game to play until Faith called them for supper. Ryan was excited about showing their master plan to his dad when he got home. This was going to be the best summer ever!

 **NCIS**

CJ kissed her husband and leaned back against the pillows with the sheet tucked across her chest, red curls loose around her face in a way he loved to see because it wasn't her usual style. "We seem to be ending up like this a lot lately."

He brought her fingers to his lips. "You don't see me complaining any." The freedom to be more spontaneous with each other, aside from their semi-regular date nights when Ryan spent the weekend with his grandparents, was something he highly enjoyed.

"Do you think we'll ever get tired of it?" she questioned, bringing Brent's attention up in a hurry.

He rested on his elbows and frowned. "I hope not." It hadn't even been a year, technically they were still newlyweds.

CJ chuckled and smoothed the lines on his brow. "That wasn't a comment on skills or performance, simply an observation." Her gaze wandered out the window before coming back to him. "I want to be one of those couples who've been married twenty years but still can't keep their hands off each other, not the ones that have let passion fizzle out and settle for just being really good friends instead of what they could have."

He took her hand. "We're really good friends Kris, that was an important part and got us where we are now. But I'm all in favour of figuring out ways to make sure we don't get complacent about being married." Brent idly traced the lines in how the sheet was draped over her body. "I think we've already started, by planning date nights when we can have guaranteed time alone."

"I keep meaning to make that a more regular habit," CJ added. They'd been talking about it for months but had yet to really get a working system in place. With all the stuff parents with jobs had to keep them busy, she was amazed Mark and Cassie had managed to keep such a regular date night in place during their marriage. Between the gym and Ryan and Brent and the time they spent with their friends, weeks and months seemed to fly by and important things didn't always get done.

"It's something we can work on for sure." Brent was relieved to hear her say that, since they'd now had a couple conversations months apart about planning time for them but it had yet to materialize and he'd been feeling like he was alone when it came to wanting that for them. Somehow though, he hadn't been able to tell his wife that. "I'm glad you're still thinking about it," he managed.

Her expression grew tender. "I'm sorry it took so long to mention." Her forehead creased. "Even with one day off a week I still don't feel like I've gotten a handle on how to do all of this - work and parent and be a good wife. You're too patient with me."

He shook his head. "I love you CJ and I'm thrilled that you're my wife and I'm not still waiting for us to get to that point. I could've said something earlier. We're still learning, together, how to make it work." Brent was silent a minute, then grinned at her. "For the record, this kind of thing is really nice."

CJ smirked. "Is that all it takes?"

"It's definitely high on the list."

"What else?"

The clock said they still had plenty of time before they had to start being responsible again. "A little more quality time? Take a walk with me to that new coffee shop so we can enjoy the beautiful day out there?"

It was on the tip of her tongue to say she wanted a shower if she was going out somewhere because she didn't feel presentable to be in public. But Brent was gazing at her like a man in love and if her husband thought she looked fine the way she was, who was she to argue? She cupped his face and drew her mouth over his. "I'd love to." She was surprised when he hugged her as soon as they got out of bed, but he didn't give a reason beyond the love shining in his eyes. CJ smiled and decided she was going to very much enjoy growing old with this man. But for today they were happy young lovers and when they walked out their front door everyone who looked at them was going to know it.

 **NCIS**

The afternoon was wearing down when the elevator dinged and Tony stepped out. Coming back from the copyroom, for once there doing actual photocopying, Ziva noticed him right away and her heart leapt at the sight of her husband after so many days. Time seemed to slow as they locked eyes, trying to share an entire conversation in that one fleeting glance before they passed each other. But Tony reasoned that partners who - in theory - hadn't seen each other for almost a month and a half, had every right to at least say hello when the opportunity presented itself.

He stopped by the stairs, reaching out a hand to slow her progress without actually touching her, he didn't trust himself even when other people were around. "Hey."

Ziva offered a glimmer of a smile but got straight to the point. "What are you doing here?"

Tony shifted his gaze towards the catwalk. "I've been summoned. Director wants an update on my progress."

"And?" she asked quietly.

His gaze shadowed. "So far I just keep running into walls. Someone clearly got too much practice at hide and seek as a kid."

Her head moved slightly, looking both ways before she pressed a hand to his heart. "Please be careful." It was not the first time he'd heard the admonition but saying it was the closest to reassurance she could get.

Tony eased back from her touch, barely brushing his fingers over her wrist when her hand dropped. "Always Zi." Then he was gone, bounding up the stairs two at a time, leaving Ziva to school her features and disguise the longing she felt.

Up in the director's outer office Tony waited to be announced and was admitted within moments. He stood with one hand in his pocket while Director Vance leaned back against his desk. "How goes the hunt?"

"Slower than I'd hoped for Director." He quirked a half-grin. "The problem with chasing a federal agent is that they know how to cover their tracks."

Vance nodded. "We trained him well." He crossed his arms. "May I make a suggestion Agent DiNozzo?"

Tony relaxed. "Please." Whether SecNav agreed or not, he needed whatever help he could get.

"Since Cade is proving to be so elusive a target, perhaps you should try tracking down Agent Barrett instead. They may have kept in contact. At the very least she might be able to tell you where to look."

The senior field agent stood up straighter. "Thank you Sir. I'll do that."

"Though I wouldn't let her know why you're looking for him."

Tony nodded. "Of course."

The director motioned to one of the chairs and moved towards his. "Why don't you have a seat and fill me in on what you've done so far. Have you found anything that would explain why Captain Wright was targeted?"

Tony began to give an indepth report on his investigation thus far. The sooner they could figure out the connection, the sooner he could go home to his wife.

 **NCIS**

"You are getting old Twerp!" Aria giggled after their toast to Jordan's thirty-nineth birthday.

He grinned and reached over to tug her short hair. "Just wait Bug, you'll get there yourself one day." His fingers sifted through the red strands. "In fact, I think I'm starting to see a little grey in there. Must be all that grad student stress."

Allie pinched her husband. "Jordan!"

Aria rolled her eyes. "I'm used to it. I've given up on him ever learning tact when it comes to talking to women."

Jordan put his arm around Allie's shoulders. "Well I must've done something right. She did marry me willingly you know."

His sister's nose wrinkled. "Yeah, and it only took you five years to talk her into it. I think that speaks for itself."

He feigned hurt and put a hand to his chest. "You're supposed to be nice to me on my birthday Bug, it's a rule you know."

"Dramatic much?" she teased, thinking back to a time when she was very little and why they had such strange pet names for each other.

Jordan was home for a visit one summer halfway through college and since the older kids got out much earlier than those in primary school, he'd been walking over to get her after classes were out. Aria was five and thrilled to have her brother back, but this particular day he found her sitting under a tree in tears because one of the older boys called her a twerp. She didn't even know what that meant, but his tone of voice and the fact that the insult had been punctuated by a shove that landed her on her backside and got her dress dirty kind of drove the point home.

Her brother was, of course, upset to hear that someone pushed her but he stifled his own reaction to focus on her instead. He was kneeling in front of her and first offered a hug, then brushed her tears away. "Hey, no tears now." He kissed her cheek and then looked seriously into her eyes. "I'll tell you what, you're already my bug so I'll be twerp. Would that help? You can call me that and it won't be a bad thing anymore. What do you think?" Originally when she was tiny and always coming to him to pick her up, he'd nicknamed her 'Cuddlebug' and as she got older it became 'Baby bug' and finally just 'Bug' but said with such love that she never minded a bit.

Aria had tipped her head and considered this option, then finally smiled and hugged him again. He'd been 'Twerp' from that moment forward.

The look on her face changed as she thought about it and Jordan noticed. "What?"

She shook her head. "I was just remembering the first time I called you that."

It was a poignant moment for him as well. "My way worked though, didn't it?"

Aria nodded. "Like a charm."

Henry, who heard the story when it happened and Chelle, who'd learned it among many others as she became more a part of the family, both smiled. "You two always did have to do things your own way."

Jordan grinned. "Nothing but originals here." He took a bit of the delicious layer cake his stepmom had prepared. "This is great Chelle, thank you." Aria, Allie and Henry all seconded the sentiment.

She gazed at him fondly. "Well this is a special occasion. And not only because it's your birthday." She shared a glance with her husband. "When was the last time all of us were together for a family dinner?"

Jordan winced and checked with his wife, who hesitated and shrugged. Aria sighed and propped her chin on one hand. "I live here and I barely ever see you guys. Grad school is a killer."

Chelle patted her arm. "You've been working awfully hard honey. You know we're proud of you."

She groaned and closed her eyes. "Tell me that when I've actually managed to accomplish something. I can't believe this is only the first year. I'm doomed."

Her brother choked on a laugh. "Now who's being dramatic?"

She lifted her head to glare at him. "You've been out of school too long to appreciate my plight."

Allie shifted the subject slightly. "I'm embarrassed to say that the last family meal I recall was at the beginning of the new year. Please tell me I'm remembering that wrong."

Chelle swirled her grape juice. "I wish I could say you were. We didn't do February because of Valentine's Day and that month always seems so short and goes by fast. March..." She trailed off and looked at Henry. "Oh yes, you had that judicial conference and were away when Jordan and Allie were free. April-"

Jordan picked up the thought. "We got that surprise visit from Allie's sister just before her birthday." Emily, the youngest sibling who was almost the same age as Aria, had flown into DC so Allie could be the first one to hear that her boyfriend had proposed. It was a bit sudden, as they'd been dating less than a year, but they were planning a long engagement so both Emily and Tyler could finish school before getting married. Still, the sisters had spent days talking and giggling and shopping and in general having a fabulous time together which in turn made Jordan happy because his wife was happy.

"Thesis submission for me," Aria interjected. She'd pretty much spent the month in her room and the library getting that stressful part finished up.

"I don't know what our excuse was for May though," Allie continued.

Henry set his for down and took his wife's hand. "There isn't any rule that says it has to be once a month. All you kids have crazy schedules, we can't expect it to be as easy as it was when you were younger."

Jordan raised an eyebrow. "Your schedule's no picnic either Dad." Judge's time was always in high demand.

He nodded. "Fair enough. For now why don't we just make a goal of trying to do another dinner or lunch or something together during the summer and see what happens from there. I don't think things are going to slow down much for the foreseeable future." He was a judge, his son a political speech writer, his daughter in law a paralegal and his baby girl was working towards her master's degree in microbiology. They were nothing if not an interesting family.

"How are things at the store Mom?" Aria finally asked. She was usually so busy studying or researching or working late hours in the lab that she didn't get to connect with her parents as much as she used to.

Chelle smiled, an expression she was rarely seen without. "Thank you for asking Aria. I'm still enjoying my time there. I got to help an older gentleman pick out a gift for his sixtieth anniversary this week, as well as guide a nervous young man in his search for the perfect engagement ring. It's very rewarding to see the looks on their faces when they find the perfect thing."

She'd worked at the high end jewellery store for years and had actually met her husband while on duty there when he'd come in looking for cufflinks as a present for his son. They began meeting for coffee across the street once in awhile and that tradition grew to become quite regular over the months they were getting to know each other. It was awhile before he found out she actually owned the coffee shop they frequented, because she was quiet about her accomplishments and didn't see a reason to mention it. She'd inherited the business from her grandmother and didn't have to be there a lot because she had really good staff that managed the place well.

The process of becoming friends hoping for more took eight months, then Henry introduced her to his children and they spent a year dating officially rather than having slightly clandestine meetings before he asked her to marry him. Once she became a wife and stepmom a few months later Chelle dropped down to part-time at the jewellery store so she'd have more time to spend with Aria and be around for her.

It was a bit of an adjustment for Maria, their nanny who had cared for the little girl since her mother left, but she and Chelle eventually became great friends and once Aria no longer needed her in the nanny capacity, she stayed on as part of the household since none of them could bear to part with her. She was alternately cook, housekeeper, and overseer of errands as well as companion and confidant for Chelle. The arrangement, though a little odd, worked well for all of them and kept Maria in their lives but gave her a bit more leisure time for herself now that her charge was all grown up.

"Well, you certainly did a good job for me and Allie." Jordan grinned and spun his wife's engagement ring around.

Chelle looked like she wanted to hug him but remained her in seat, still careful showing affection to her stepson even after all these years. "It's always a labour of love when it's for family."

"I'll come to Magnifique when it's my turn too Mom," Aria said casually, bringing all eyes at the table her way. "What?" she asked innocently.

Henry fixed a stern gaze on his youngest. "Are you trying to tell us something pumpkin?"

Now it was Aria's turn to stare at them, then she laughed loudly when the pieces clicked. "Oh my gosh! No!" She took a drink from her glass and almost choked on it because she was still laughing. "Seriously, no. Where would I find time for that with my crazy life? I just meant...you know...someday."

Jordan fell back against the chair with a sigh of relief. "Don't do that Aria! You almost gave me a heart attack. You've got at least two...no, five years before I can handle you talking about getting serious with a guy."

Aria skewered him with a look. "Since when are you the boss of me?"

He opened his mouth to mention being fifteen years older and how that definitely gave him some rights, but Allie held a strawberry to his lips and silently encouraged him to keep his thoughts to himself. Swallowing the fruit, Jordan nodded slightly and sighed. "Just...break it to me gently when the day comes, okay? I know you're not my baby sister anymore but...you're my baby sister and no guy is going to get off easy when it comes to you."

Torn between two options, Aria walked to where he was sitting and threw her arms around his neck. "I love you too." There was more that could've been said but that seemed like a good place to stop before someone said something they would regret later. She checked with Allie. "Dish duty, you and me? Maria can tell us one of her fabulous stories while we put the kitchen back together so Mom can relax tonight." To her parents and brother she asked, "Coffee anyone?"

Jordan smirked. "You can't make coffee to save your life."

Aria was beginning to wish she'd smacked him instead. "I can pour it."

They all burst out laughing and Henry stood to put his arm around her, kissing her head. "You're still my precious girl. What would we do without you?"

"Be utterly boring and perpetually unentertained," she shot back cheekily, following Allie out of the room.

Jordan watched her go with a slight smile on his lips. His little sister was growing up. What was he going to do about that?

 **NCIS**

It was risky. It was very risky. But the past weeks apart had been an endless stretch of loneliness for Ziva and she couldn't stop herself. She came back from downstairs after realizing she'd left her badge in the drawer and found Tony's things still at his desk. Since he had also departed just ahead of her and McGee after his meeting with Vance it made no sense that he would be in the building giving every appearance he planned to stay for awhile. Keeping her bag with her, Ziva did a quick tour of the floor and determined he wasn't in the breakroom or bathrooms. The training gym came to mind next but when she got down to Basement Level 4 the room was dark through the small windows and a frown creased her brow.

The sound of water running reached her ears, much easier to hear now in the stillness of night than when normal daytime sounds pervaded the hallways. Moments of investigating later and a quick peek around the doorway confirmed her suspicions. She would know her husband's clothing and personal effects anywhere and the ones on the bench outside of the showers definitely belonged to him. Waiting silently in a corner of the locker room, Ziva discovered he was alone in the room and released a slow breath. Her decision was made the moment she knew it was him, all that remained was the execution of her plan.

Steam drifting up to the ceiling from the heat of the water gradually warmed the room and it seemed forever until he shut off the faucet and reached for his towel. Through the beveled glass of the door she could see him running the terrycloth carelessly over his arms, chest, and back, then he tucked it around his waist and stepped out onto the mat. Ziva's patience snapped and she moved towards him, covering his surprised yelp of her name with a hand over his mouth. She brought a finger to her lips in the universal sign for quiet, pulling him to the end stall that faced away from the door and was dry unlike the one he'd just used.

Pushing him inside, she closed the door and kissed him. Tony's hands came up to cradle her cheek and cup the back of her neck, responding as ingrained as his next breath. One was not nearly enough and in the pause that came when they had to draw air back into their lungs, Ziva stripped off her shirt and pressed against his damp warm skin. He groaned into her mouth as his hands caressed an expanse of skin he hadn't been able to see or touch in far too long. Desperate to make the most of this unexpected opportunity she trailed her fingers through his chest hair, up well-defined arms, and into his wet hair, noting that it had grown longer in their time apart and would soon need to be cut.

Tony attacked her lips with a fervor usually held in reserve during their stolen moments, but there was only so much a man could take. Ziva reciprocated as good as she got, letting her hands and tongue and quiet moans tell him everything he was doing to her. When his touch became more deliberate, his fingers intent on relieving her of the simple black bra, she drew back very much against her own desire. "Tony," she whispered and he shuddered just at the sound of his name on her lips. "I would like nothing more than to give myself to you, we have both been deprived of that gift for so many weeks, but not here ahava, not at work." Her eyes slid closed. "I'm sorry." It would go against her moral code to engage in an intimate encounter with her husband while still in the building.

He sighed heavily, kissing her deeply but now with a burden of responsibility he'd been able to shed for a few precious moments. "You have nothing to be sorry for babe. This is the best thing that's happened to me since we met at that bar."

Ziva splayed her hands over his chest, speaking in barely a whisper. "I want to be with you so badly. I miss everything about sharing that connection with you." She rested her forehead on his chin. "I do not mean to add to the load you carry, but I need you to know how much I miss you, how much I love you."

His lips pressed a kiss to her hairline, arms coming firmly around her back. "Me too. I miss you every minute of every day, even in my dreams you're not where you're supposed to be. I know sweetheart. Trust me, I know."

She slid her arms up his back and leaned into him, brushing her lips over his collarbone. "I will not stay very long and frustrate us both with the temptation to do more, but please do not let go yet."

"If I had it my way I wouldn't let go ever." The confession was lost in her hair but Tony knew his wife heard it, along with everything else he couldn't bring himself to say.

They indulged in one last slow kiss after several minutes o holding on tight to each other before she literally tore herself away, pulling on her shirt as she left, unable to see clearly with the tears pooling in her eyes while Tony slumped back against the wall and tried to regain his composure after being offered the tiniest sip of water in an endless desert journey. Being apart from him never got easier and each time they were together it drove the knife a little deeper. She could only pray it wouldn't last much longer. This assignment was going to destroy them both.

 **NCIS**

 **Thursday June 30** \- end of June, T gone 6 weeks. T in DC, not at NCIS

She found a small piece of paper tucked in the drawer where she stowed her gun and badge every morning upon arrival at work the next day. _Ziva, I need to hear your voice more than anything. Last night's whispers were only an echo of everything I miss. Can you write to me? Even if it's just to say you love me, assuming you still do after all this nonsense. Leave a letter at the newsstand on K St., I've already made arrangements. AOA._

Ziva ran her fingers over the familiar handwriting. "Of course I still love you silly man." She was sure she'd told him when they were together, though words weren't always necessary since they knew each other's hearts so well. But since words were all she could give him, that's what she would do. "Do you not know? You take my heart with you wherever you go. I will give whatever you need."

She started the letter with those words on her lunch break, added a border of 'I love yous' in every language she knew, and filled the rest with tales of normal days at NCIS - McGee being gullible, Jimmy's endearing clumsiness, Abby on Caf-Pow, Gibbs the day Abby and Ducky conspired to switch out his regular coffee for tea or decaf every time he got a refill just to see his reaction, and what she and Meira had been up to in his absence. It ended on a note of missing him and, _with all my heart ~ xxxo Z._

An innocuous white envelope was slipped to the newspaper man inside an equestrian magazine she wanted to purchase later that day. He surreptitiously let it slide out and to the floor, then handed over her change. "Check back tomorrow. Got a literature guide coming in the new shipment."

Ziva smiled at the simple code. "Sam, you are sweet to remember. I may run out of change if you keep this up."

The older man smiled. "No charge Ms. David. Favourite customers have special privilege."

"I cannot let you lose money on my account," she protested.

"It's taken care of. Vendors get complimentary copies."

By that Ziva knew Tony had paid to supply her with new reading material in exchange for reassurance of her love and a reminder of what he had to come home to. "Thank you Sam. See you tomorrow." At glance over her shoulder showed a man keeping to the shadows of the alley, whose form was as familiar as her own shadow, his gaze clearly fixed on her. She averted her eyes immediately, heart leaping and aching all at the same time to be so close to her husband and yet unable to touch, even though last night they'd seized every opportunity to do that very thing. As an afterthought, she called back to the newspaper man. "If you see that film professor at all, will you ask him for a new recommendation? I'm almost through the last list he suggested."

Sam nodded as if he played messenger all the time. "You bet. Take care now."

Ziva's eyes strayed once more to the alley, but he was already gone and she sighed in disappointment. A smile lit her face when she got to the car however, and found a yellow rose with red tips under the wiper. It brought back to mind the bouquet he'd gotten her after she'd been away visiting Aunt Nettie and the meaning behind them - _falling in love with you_.

 _Thank You Father for this story. I love you, L_

 _Replies:_

 _Mishka - Hi :) I'm glad the chapter was a highlight before starting something new. Grad school, that's funny because Jordan's little sister is in grad school. Maybe I can ask you some questions about what it's like? So happy to hear you enjoyed it and I love when people can picture what I'm talking about. I really appreciate the review, thanks! ~Aliyah_

 _SkiGirl - Hi! Aww...it's nice to hear that you were excited to read the new chapter. I've felt like cheating a bit too when one of my favourite authors updates their stories. I'm always glad it's worth the wait because I feel awful taking so long to update. That's a sweet thing to say. I'm so thankful God has given the gift and inspiration for writing because it is a great joy for me, but I can't take the credit as it goes to Him. I love being on the favourite's list, that's nice to hear. There are a lot of great authors on this site, I am constantly amazed by what they can create. I'm glad you're looking forward to what's coming next, there is lots more story to come. I always say I'll be around as long as God allows and grants the inspiration. I know...unfortunately there's a lot of time left before our couple will be reunited, but I have to follow canon as closely as I can. Season 9 will be...I don't even know what the right word for it is...there's a lot going on. A lot of recovering for Tony from the events of the summer plus all the normal work/life stuff to deal with. I'm looking forward to that because I prefer them together above all else. Happy New Year to you as well, God bless :) And thank you for the lovely long review, that always makes my day! ~Aliyah_

 _LovesTiva (WLB1) - Thank you, that's so nice of you to say. I'm always glad to hear that people are enjoying the stories. I'm sorry that things feel slow. When I started this story I committed to following canon, and that includes events I'm not a huge fan of. In the show Tony was away working on his assignment for about 3-4 months so I had to make that work here too. There will be a lot of angst in this part because of T &Z being separated and that's partly while I'm taking so long to write this (besides lack of time), I just don't like writing them apart and I prefer fluff to angst. I'm sorry it's taken so long to update, some things I can't help. There will be little moments of T&Z sneaking time together, but the majority of this part focuses on them separately. If you'd rather avoid all that you're welcome to and just pick it up again when T gets home in the next part. Thanks for taking the time to review! ~Aliyah_

 _Debbie - Hi Debbie! Happy New Year! I'm glad you enjoyed the part with McGee. I can't always use him much because MIT is so TZ focused, but I do love getting to work him in here and there. I honestly hadn't been planning to use L &A this much at the beginning, but my characters have a way of taking over and doing whatever they want. It's been interesting to watch. I agree, L&Z would've gotten along well in the show if she'd been on more, just like they did in that one episode. Z should've had more friends in her life that understood and could relate to her background (non-Mossad people of course). I was a little uncertain about the Father's Day thing so I'm pleased that you liked it. I haven't seen the show since Cote left, for me NCIS ended in S10, that works for me. Thanks for reviewing! ~Aliyah_

 _Diana (Hope) - Hi Diana! I'm not sure if you'll ever see this but I have no other way to respond to guest reviewers (those without accounts) except in the next chapter I put up. Thanks for the review :) I'm glad you enjoyed this little story. I had so many ideas about how to get Ziva back to fix the (to me) unsatisfactory ending that was 11x02 but I think this is one of my favourites. I just love these two. ~Aliyah_


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